Reboot with a twist
by ladyjulianna
Summary: Who doesn't want Optimus as a dad or to to get a reboot as a sparkling.  Will it be all I think it is?
1. Reboot

Thank you Mercedes Wolfcry for the wonderful idea of dieing and coming back a sparkling only with all your memories and faculties. This bunny was driving me crazy for those of you wondering about resuming life I'm still on it just got writers block. But I've been contemplating it. So here goes the bunny from hell. LOL

XXX

In life I was insignificant, though when living I had people that would have argued adamantly about. But my life was unspectacular and probably I was glad to have it over with. Abuse of ALL kinds is never a fun thing growing up. A failed marriage from consisting of an abusive asshole but from which I bore 2 beautiful boys my only reason for continuing anyway. Then there were three years of bliss remarried to an angel he adopted my children and treated like a queen when I was so damaged I so angry and controlling that I'm surprised he stayed but then an illness hit that affected my body for two years. We didn't know what it was until I was hospitalized for 3 weeks only to find out it was my own immune system killing me. But finally a year later my children are older my life is smoothing out and the medications are working. And then what, after all that after all the surviving and clawing my way to something close to normal and happy, a car crash?

"Are you kidding me?" I yelled standing in a place that was familiar that felt like home but I bulked at also. God in all his glory was standing in front of me. He was magnificent. I should be on my knees thanking him for everything and every breath I took but I was mad. "A car crash? Really? After all the other creative things I've had to face almost EVERYTHING a person can go through and a car accident is responsible for my death?" God looked at me shining almost to bright to bare but his visage wasn't angry at me. He nodded regally and seemed to have his I'm being patient with you because you are my child look. The wind was taken out of my sails when I thought about the kids being in the car and my husband. "What about my husband and my boys?" I asked scared of the answer.

"They are here too. There is only so much a person can take and your family couldn't take your death. There were to many other factors to allow them to stay. But they are here and they are happy." He said with a gentle smile. " Always defensive or living for others my child." I sighed. It was true. I guess no one for a long time valued my life except for my precious angel husband that it wasn't worth living for just myself. I shrugged. A dark looked swept over his face he knew all my thoughts. "Those who hurt you will be justly dealt with my daughter," he rumbled. He reminded me of a mad Optimus Prime suddenly all good but don't piss him off. He laughed reading my mind.

"So what's the deal now? We walk on into the pearlies and live happily ever after?" He looked at me with a contemplative expression.

"My child, I've watched you all your life and kept you though you have wondered at times you remained true. But I cannot give you your hearts desire as we are now and here." I was taken aback.

"But I though you could do anything!" I was floored.

He chuckled that indulgent laugh again, "I said not here and now but I can and will give you your hearts desire but I know you will find that it is not all that you wish it to be."

"And that means…?"

"Child I am not only here am I?"

"No You're everywhere," I answered automatically. I knew the answer to this pop quiz question.

"But do you know where **everywhere **is?" I looked at him. I knew there was some type of intonation I was missing.

"Um no?"

"Let me tell you this. There are times I let some of my creations view other timelines, worlds, dimensions as all outcomes are possible however I guide every single one. You are almost preoccupied at times with the glimpses that people have taken from another reality similar to your own however with a large difference." He stopped talking and the light bulb went on in my head.

"Transformers?"

"I am many things child I have many names and Primus is one of them."

"OH MY…well lets not go there…uh since You're already here," I blushed.

He gave me a stern look, "Yes child that would have not been to your benefit." But his slightly amused and indulgent look crossed his face again with a slight twinge of regret, "You feel your life would have been better in the hands of Optimus Prime rather than those parents you were birthed too?"

"Well duh,…I mean yes…sir?" He chuckled again.

"I will give you your hearts desire child and do not worry about your family for they will not even know you were gone. Time is different here as there is none. Once you return, which is not a common occurrence. This is your heaven or so you think. I will allow you to experience this I will steer your path as I always have and I will allow you to retain your memories of your current life so that you can appreciate your life before and the gifts this will grant you also. Your memory will be fuzzy for a while and you will be a child again. Be that child you wanted to be and accept their love they give you although it might be alien to you." I nodded. "I send you now in the form of a sparkling. You will be the first in a long time. I have already guided my child Optimus Prime to ready him for your arrival. He knows not much but that he must be ready."

"Just a question, Um why couldn't we get some kinda Optimus Prime in our world? A cool nice guy who could talk to you?" HE laughed actually almost guffawed.

"Because my daughter you had my Only Son. The Transformers are not ready yet. They will be but there life times are so long that I have not decreed my Only Son to fulfill his bridge to them yet. The War must cease first and that is coming to an end soon. Now you will not be able to speak to another about this or about your passed life. But you secret will be shared in a spark bond if you find a mech." And with a wave of his hand the world was suddenly dark.


	2. Mine

Two chapters in one day this bunny was giving me hell.

XXX

I was kinda cold but not really in side the dark *knock* metal thing. Of course I was now metal too. I knew who I was but why I was here and how I got here were somewhat fuzzy. I felt taller than I was right now maybe older? I dunno. So something told me in the bottom left corner of my HUD display? Whatever it was I could see symbols that weren't English. Why would I need English? But I read them it said entering atmosphere and crash landing. I was in a pod I knew and I was about to be jumbled around.

The landing protocols had some sort of a net that formed around me and suspended my small body inside the oval metal pod. I felt like I was caught in a spider web but was thankful for the cushion support it gave me as I began to bounce several times before sliding , the noise was a deafening grind, and only bumped my head? Helm? Whatever. Bumped where I did my thinking and was a little battered but otherwise ok. There were a couple of dents that didn't feel so nice kinda like a mild bruise to a deep bruise depending on how deep the dent pressed on sensitive wires. But I wasn't alone long. The racket they made running toward my pod could have woken the dead.

"**Stand down Stand down**!" I heard someone yelling in Cybertronian. I hated yelling. It scared me. A lot. I didn't want to be yelled at again. Again? I think again. Flashes of my old life would come unbidden to me. _Again _I thought morosely. IT would be just like before. Bastards. But instead of getting mad because I had no anger I was just scared and it made me start to cry. Strange though having no tears but the noises must be universal because the sounds echoing off the metal enclosure even grated on my ears? Audios? It was just really high pitched and I didn't want to be in this dark spider web any more. Suddenly the stomping stopped.

"**Ratchet scan it."** I continued to cry but I heard him I didn't know what scan meant and it scared me more. The voice however had taken on a softer tone and there was something in his voice that was almost in awe. The voice sounded familiar I started to cry a little softer but my fear didn't really diminish all that much. The ultraviolet light that permeated my capsule and swept over me didn't hurt but I could feel it in my systems? Organs? Well I could feel it inside me and I screamed.

"**For Primus sake Ratchet get it out of there! It sounds terrified**." And I was. There was a click and then a pop and a hiss as the top of my shell began to crack apart and it split in half all the way around to the back as a sliver of light poured in. The sliver got larger and then a large yellow fingers slipped in under the cap and pulled it up with a grunt. It must have been stuck. The light that flooded my eyes? Optics? Will I ever get these words right? It was so bright I was blinded I wasn't sure how to change the way my eyes were working to account for the all the light but it hurt so I shuttered them with a wail.

I felt a large hand reach in and push a button that made the cords holding me go slack and left me cupped in the giants arm. I didn't know which one because I was still blind and crying. IT seemed like I'd never stop. **"Primus, Ratchet, It is a sparkling**…" a deep voice reached my audios. I know that voice. There was safety in that voice. Why I felt this I didn't know but I wanted to feel something other than terror.

"**Let me make an adjustment to her optics so she can see**," he groused a little and I could feel something slip underneath a plate on my arm that felt like skin and I recoiled screaming so loud I could feel the mech holding me flinch.

"**The sparkling is terrified Ratchet. Wait until it calms. Pass the sparkling and see if she responds to anyone**." Ironhide was the first and he started his low thrumming sound that didn't do anything for me.

"**Hey there little one**," he tried his voice and I still cried. I couldn't connect to that safety and I did the only thing I could, cry. Bumblebee tried. Ratchet tried again. Jazz's singing and rocking didn't work. Sideswipes rolling motions didn't make it worse but not better. By now I was tired, hungry AND scared.

"**Optimus, it's your turn**," Sideswipe handed my squalling self to the Prime his voice gave away his worry. My mind was a jumble of baby bot instincts and old fears and feelings from a previous childhood spent mostly in a fractured house with an abusive father or abusive grandfather. Another pair of hands took me I was still blinded by the light of outside but there was a deep rumbling purr I heard next to my ear. I still cried but not so much.

"**Hello sweetspark**," the deep rumble sounded and it was so warm. I hiccupped and grabbed on to the finger I felt stroke my arm. He went to pull it back but I was tenaciously holding on to it but my wailing didn't diminish as fast as I though. I had worked myself up quite a bit but now I had something to ground me. One hand still holding onto a split somewhere in his hand armor I leaned up against his chest knowing that is where his spark was. The hand under me responded instantly to my movement cupping around me and holding me close.

Several minutes and hiccups later, my intakes were sucking in air rapidly but the ongoing hushed sounds, clicks and whirs from the giant I was attached to helped to calm me. The voice I heard next was Ratchets. "**Sparkling**," he asked me in a quiet reassuring voice. I didn't automatically start crying I wondered what he wanted. **"Let me help you see**," he cajoled softly. I stayed quiet as Optimus continued his rubbing of my back and soft rumbling in his chest. I thought about it. I didn't know what it entailed though. I suddenly felt his large fingers reaching for my tiny arm again and shrunk back against Optimus's chest pulling my arm out of his grip.

"**It's scared Ratchet**!" Optimus scolded softly but emphatically.

"**Quit calling her an it. It's a femme**." Ratchet clipped back but without the usual bite I'd heard about in other stories and movies. "**I don't understand it she should know what I need to do, unless her creators never took her to a med bot but she should have the programming to understand…**"

"**But she doesn't seem to Ratchet**." I heard him sigh and Ratchet approach me again.

"**Sparkling**," I turned my audio unit toward him. "**There is a port under your wrist plate I can connect to and help you adjust your systems."**

I cried one word in Cybertronian in the sparkling language that seemed to make up my talking ability, "**PAIN**" I cried still frightened.

"**Who in the pit told you that SLAG?"** he asked his voice sounded genuinely shocked. The surprise in his voice and the used of the bad word made me chuckled slightly. I couldn't believe one of them had actually used the word. Optimus just sighed.

"**Well you have made it abundantly clear that it will not hurt Ratchet," **the Prime rumbled. I finally chirped at him and I felt a small cord move under my wrist plate that felt weird or just foreign and didn't hurt not even when he hooked his brain? CPU? His processor? His being his mind was like inside mine. And the color of his essence was as bright yellow green as his paint job from a remembered movie clip. It was gentle and reassuring as he scanned my processor it seemed for the correct programs. He didn't like what he found I could feel it leak through. There was suddenly an influx of stuff for lack of a better word that flooded my mind/ processor thingy and all the sudden I could do things I couldn't before, like readjust my eyes.

I opened my eyes to the enormous figure of Optimus Prime's chest. I stood up and looked up, and up, and up. And then fell backwards with a click. Ratchet unhooked himself from me grumbling and then petted my helm. "**She didn't even have basic programming but some other programming besides the sparkling instincts that she has demonstrated. It's like she's a blank slate but not. I can't explain it Prime.**"

I looked up at Prime again after rubbing my wrist with the other one. Then I looked to the right and left to look at all the faces I'd seen countless times and heard their voices but I was so caught up in being a baby that I couldn't wrap my processor around what was happening. I smiled up at all the other faces and they all looked at me with that ahh-she-did-something-cute face. And then I yawned. "**What an odd behavior for a sparkling. I've only ever seen humans do that…"**

I chirped up at Prime, **"Tired, Hungry," **and rubbing my head, "**Hurt"**. He looked at me and rubbed my back. "We'll deal with that later Ratchet for now we need to get back and get her some Energon." He smiled at me. "Sweetspark," he addressed me, and I looked up. "Rest close to my spark until we get back to our home." He said and his chest opened up. His insides were huge but there was a space next to his spark. The blue light ball was beautiful it was like watching a lightning storm, electricity and an aura all at the same time. I reached for it. And it didn't zap me when my hand/servo touched it. Instead Optimus grunted softly and the blue light bloomed in through my hand up my arm and spread through my systems from my very spark. And that was when I knew I was his I could feel it amazement, love, compassion, kindness. The feelings radiated through me my heart, or spark or mind, soul or all of them and it was binding and solid. I reached for that bond and held to it tightly wrapping myself in those feelings that were so foreign to me. He was mine and I was his.


	3. Mom?

All language in the chapter is Cybertronian.

XXX

"Prime she's bonded with you!" I heard Ratchet exclaim.

"Which means my friend that there was no other creator bond with this child. Her creators are either dead or Decepticons," his tone was dark a moment. "Her spark is also damaged which is why she connected to my so fast." He petted me as I was in a drowsy haze listening to the commentary.

"Damaged?" he asked confused. "I haven't heard of that since Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were rescued from the arenas. How can it be damaged?" Prime sighed.

"Old sparks my friend can be damaged."

"Old sparks is only a term for children developed beyond their years. She can barely talk!" Optimus just waved a hand in front of him in a dismissive gesture.

"Sparkling," he rumbled softly. My blue eyes met his. "Where do you hurt?"

"Head" I said back. "Bump."

He ran his hand over my form his hands caressed every part of my protoform gently feeling for something. I clicked at him in a low tone. He smiled, "I'm looking where you might have been hurt on your decent." I chirped again in acquiesces to his search smiling at him once he was done.

"Four dents, Ratchet, two on one ped and one on her left arm and a good sized one on the left of her helm," Optimus told him. He handed me to the bright Autobot medic and with an indignant trill I held my arms back toward Optimus.

"In a moment little one. Let me see the dent on your helm." I was right it is a helm. Ok one term down a gazillion to go. I rubbed my head where it was soar. It was starting to give me a headache. I clicked at Ratchet. "I know sweetspark," he told me his finger split into pieces and a small appendage about as big as my own finger reached under my helm painlessly and applied pressure not triggering the pain sensors and sensitive wires and the indentation moved outward relieving the pain instantly. I sighed as the pressure was removed from the wires and the pain vanished. I leaned into his hand and was rewarded with a hand down my back stroking softly. "There you go little femme," he said gently giving me back to Optimus.

"Hungry," I warbled at the large red and blue Prime.

"I know sweetspark, but we have no Energon now. I will put you in my sparkling hold," he said opening his chest again. I chirped back up at him in a confused manner. He caught my meaning. He then pointed as his chest plates parted and I saw the glow of his spark again. I was almost mesmerized and the flood of emotions and love became stronger the closer I got. I realized I was feeling him and on his end he felt my recognition and smiled. "Yes you'll rest next to my spark where sparklings belong. It's where creators can keep you safe." I remembered hearing about these. From the stories I'd read they were warm and nice. So I crawled in, wrapped in the sensation that the Prime was reveling in my reciprocation of love and acceptance. It wasn't as dark or as hard as I thought it would be. The living metal seemed to give a little and I could see the glow through small plates that let the light in. And so in the light of his spark I slept.

XXX

It was like being wrapped in a blanket sleeping next to his spark. I was rolled around a bit but it didn't seem to affect me. The quality of the road seemed to shift suddenly as the ride got bumpier. I rolled a bit more than I had been. Drowsy and now really hungry I chirped at him in the low blue light. "Almost there sparkling. I know you're hungry." I warbled at him in conformation. I knew there was nothing that could be done but the red-light in my HUD was starting to make me nervous. Something about empty tanks. I whined. "I feel your hunger sweetspark, I can not feed you yet. The Energon is at the base. ETA 3 minutes." I nodded and he seemed to acknowledge it in the link like he could see it. The link was an odd thing not so much words were exchanged as feelings and impressions. Not a lot of words were needed. The only thing that seemed slightly frightening about the bond was how much stronger his side felt. Like he could squash any type off feelings I had or just my soul in general with just a thought.

But being jostled a bit more and then the momentum he had going pushed me toward the front of the sparkling hold as we stopped. The deceleration was smooth and I didn't feel like someone had just slammed on the breaks. There was some shifting sounds but I wasn't moved any and the light inside the sparkling hold got brighter and then the sun was shining in on me as the door to it was opened. My intakes took in the fresh air. Behind me I heard his chest plates close with hiss and I turned around. I must have looked pitiful because he pulled me to his chassis and sent loving warmth down the link. Cupping his hand around me the Prime and the others made a quick entrance into the base taking large steps.

As we walked I heard a few humans holler something up at him. He ignored them and kept walking glancing at me and then where he was going. There was a noise of action left behind him in his wake as he was headed somewhere. It only took 2 minutes to get to what looked like a hospital room a BIG one. The large shiny tables were spread about. Apparently they didn't have that fancy chair thingy in the third movie yet. It must be medbay because Ratchet ran past Prime and was shuffling around a cupboard banging and letting things fall in his haste. He really didn't seem to care and he suddenly turned around almost scaring me and I squeaked. I was briefly distracted when two beings came up behind Optimus and put a hand on his shoulder.

"What do you have there Optimus?" I heard a feminine voice come from behind him and a purple hand at his elbow. He stopped and turned toward the other Autobot uncovering me enough for her to see. Her hand flew to her mouth and her optics went wide. "It's a sparkling!" She cried. I call it a she because it sounded like one but being human before I'm not sure. They did label me a femme so maybe she's a femme?

"Yes Arcee," the semi acknowledged. "A tiny femme," he smiled at me and I turned toward the yellow medic walking toward me.

"OK little one here you go it was the best I could do with what I had." And he handed me a rather large looking cup that had a top on it with a spout. It looked like a roughly formed version of a sippy cup. 'Oh my…' not gonna think it 'it's a sippy cup for me…' damn. What the hell am I supposed to do with this. I looked through the small hole and saw the bright glowing purple liquid. Yup, purple just like I thought but I dreaded the taste. The light flickered at the bottom of my HUD and I got an encouraging prod from Optimus that made me give him a sour look. He backed off a bit until I looked at the cup for a full minute not knowing really what to do with it.

Did it going in my mouth like liquid did when I was human or was there another way? My giant care taker tipped me back in the crook of his arm suddenly taking the cup from me. Oh he was gonna feed me? That's ok then he knew more than I did. He brought it up to my mouth and I opened assuming that he wanted me to and eventually I got my mouth around the tip with some spillage but I could finally get it down. The look that crossed Prime's face was absolutely adorable. He was happy and had a soft smile on his lip plates and the treasured love I had so longed for in another time and life I felt trickle down the bond like a never ceasing flow. And for once I just relaxed and let my care be his job rather than be on the defensive and clawing my own way and snuggled into his chest armor as I finished the energon.

The aftertaste of the sweet liquid almost like liquid candy with a shock to it was really pleasing. It had kinda metallic twang to it but the sweet overrode any of the odd textures and flavors. The red light disappeared in my HUD and I felt content as he put the cup somewhere out of my vision. I wasn't tired but I didn't want to move either. I felt a finger come and stroke my face but it wasn't Optimus's I looked at the hand and it was slim and pink. I heard Optimus, "Elita, She's bonded to me," he whispered almost reverently. I nodded my agreement. It felt wonderful.

"I know Optimus I can feel it," the feminine voice reached my ears soft with just a hint of metallic edge. But I didn't like what she said. I struggled up to look down at her. Elita-one my head supplied to me. I didn't know she was here already though. I looked up over Prime's massive arm and came optic to optic with his mate. I looked at her and she was very beautiful but something in me was not happy. Jealous I think. After a moment of looking wide opticed at her I gave her a scowl and nestled back into Optimus' chest. I felt a slight worry and surprise at my conflicting and negative emotions after seeing his sparkmate. He stroked my helm and craddled me. I could feel the unease in his spark and didn't want him to feel that.

My mother was a good mom she did everything we need in life but she was cold. Life had shut her emotions to survive and continue living. I loved her and I knew she loved me but I missed her when she receded into herself and continued living in a shell. I didn't want to watch that again. I wanted the love of a mother in this continuation of my life but I couldn't bare to watch another one wither under the pressure of the world or of two worlds and become cold. Optimus felt my convoluted mixture of emotions and I began to cry. His spark was so warm, it felt like it had melted years off of the pain that I'd brought with me. I was Jealous, angry, sad, and afraid but I think most of all I just wanted love.

He started up his soft rumbling hum and clicked at me worriedly and comfortingly. There were no tears but my intakes were so used to mimicking the crying of a human that I stuttered and sniffed or it sounded like and the noises I made were muffled twitters and warbles. Somewhere in my adult brain from long ago I knew this was a stepping stone and a pivotal point in deciding the future. So as he rocked me and petted my helm I settled trying not to fear a bond with his sparkmate. I sat up and looked at him a long moment and then at Elita. I raised my arms in an "up" position or down in her case so that she'd pick me up too. Optimus met her half way with his hands under my arms and placed me in hers. She had one hand under my "bottom" or where it used to be, I don't know what to call it now. She had the other hand around my back as my now father put me in her smaller hands.

I looked up at her with wide eyes somewhat scared and somewhat confused. She then looked at me and pulled me to her chest armor over her spark. Her smaller frame had a much higher hum than Optimus's but it seemed on the same key as his like they were a harmony. And that was when I could slightly feel a warm thread worm its way into my spark. It wasn't as instantaneous as Optimus's was but I think that it will be just as strong but not today. Optimus was like a flood and hers a small drip drop of feelings just as light as a rain drop in my spark but it felt safer than having another flood. I felt safer with Optimus than with her. I knew how small she was comparatively. I wondered briefly if I'd fit in her sparkling hold but was content to let her hold me and lean against her warm chest.

I yawned again catching her by surprise and I felt a small thread of fear spike as I did that. I looked up at her then Optimus my peace had been disturbed by her sudden scare. I had a feeling the Prime and Elita had been talking privately while she held me but he said out loud probably for my benefit, "She's not broken my spark, humans do this when they are tired," he smiled at me and took me from her and wrapped my spark/soul in his calm. Her fear was swept to the back of my mind where it didn't matter any more.

"But if humans are the only ones who do that then why does a sparkling that hasn't been online long enough to know a human doing it?" She asked the question and my fear spiked through the other bonds as it occurred to me, I might be doing something wrong. I chirped loudly and started to wiggle in his arms. Out of the side of my optic I saw a large yellow hummer watching the situation. I knew he was suspicious and that made me even more frantic.

Optimus responded quickly with his soothing calm again making me feel there was no reason to panic. So I let him guide my mood because I trusted him and I stopped my squirming and noise slowly but not all at once. I didn't want them to discuss it anymore. "My spark let's leave these questions for another time," (and in private) was left unsaid. But I could do nothing about their doubts out of my hearing. I yawned again and it irritated me. Isn't that all babies did was eat sleep and poo…. Oh crap where did I do that? I panicked again coming out of my hazy stupor flailing.

I pushed against his hand and his chest wanting just to be put down wanting to get away to figure out how all this worked. My thrashing finally got a response when he realized I wasn't going to calm just because he said so. He sat me on the floor in front of him and behind me I could hear him creaking onto his knees to watch me. Elita sat cross-legged in front of me. Once down on the floor I was sitting up on my own and I looked around still tense and tried to move forward. I figured out that my legs were as good as lead weights. Frustrated now I started crying again just wanting to be able to go to the bathroom. It was an urging in my human brain had for so long I didn't know the equivalent and I couldn't go anywhere by myself to figure it out either.

"Sweetspark, tell me what you want. Why are you scared?" my dad's strong voice asked from behind me.

"Tank," I twittered to him miserably.

"Hungry?" he asked. I shook my head. I saw another look shared back and forth over my head between my new parents. It looked like I made another human blunder. Optimus rumbled in his chest trying to sooth me and my mother joined with hers and the harmony might of worked if a necessity hadn't been so pressing all the sudden. Ironhide was in the hallway laughing at me and I cried louder. I saw three of the visible transformers give him a threatening look.

"It's been to long for you Optimus and even you Ratchet. Annabelle at the Lennox house had brought all the memories back the human and Cybertronian sparkling needs are much the same. What goes in must go out," he told the room and a look of understanding dawned on their faces and then I felt it through the link. He now knew what that odd feeling was between us.

"Come sparkling," he pulled me up in his arms. We empty our waste in…" the rest was between me and my parents.


	4. Knowing

After the tank emptying incident I didn't think that the day or subsequent night could get any more complicated. But it did. There were reminence of my life that had been stirred in my mind and after being put in Optimus's sparkling hold for bed time my cries and clicking awoke the leader from his stasis. I was suddenly thrashing and it caused the world to tilt quickly and I was dumped onto something hard. Finding myself in the cold world and on a hard surface deprived of the warmth and the closeness of the connection in the sparkling hold, I opened my eyes still screaming.

Optimus began to pull me toward his chest but at this point I was more human than baby cybertronian. And the sight of the large hands and pointed metal did nothing for my frightened state. I was still the little girl in California with my grandfather coming after me. I didn't want to relive those horrid dark memories. I thought as an adult I had exorcized these demons with medication and therapy. But sitting in this large metal hand was a little much coming out of a nightmare like that. I could feel nothing but fear and the sudden pushing on my consciousness felt like violations almost as terrible as what I'd been dreaming about.

My fear spiked and the nudging suddenly stopped. Whatever invisible barrier that had been erected between me and it the thing wasn't pushing any more. Just waiting. For what I didn't know. My hands were on my head blocking out the noise that was around me. I could hear a noise not unlike a drowned modem from the 90's coming from somewhere. Whatever was on the other side of that barricade didn't seem menacing. I could feel something akin to fear from it. And then things started to trickle in like the sounds were becoming words and the feeling of pressing became more of a surrounding feeling of warmth and safety.

At once the human world fell away and my cybertronian senses were brought to the forefront of my processor. The bond had been muted and blocked on my end on accident and I wrapped myself against his chest as in my spark I allowed his large presence to comfort my frayed nerves. I also felt a smaller thread wrap around me in concern and love I let it run through my spark with a soft sigh. Her hand also rubbed my back as I snuggled into Optimus's chest. I could tell that Optimus was getting bits and pieces of my dreams and it angered him more than anything but the confusion was there. I had a feeling when Primus was talking about a spark bond he didn't just mean a spark bond between a mech I'd merge my spark with and be half of. He meant Optimus to know also. I sighed. I hadn't wanted this to come to this life to. I wanted to remember but not burden others with my past.

The sadness, a sudden shift from the fear, also confused Optimus as he rubbed a hand over my helm. I sat their in a ball just feeling as though I could cry letting small clicks and warbles take the place of my tears. He petted me and got to his feet groaning slightly. I could tell through our link that he knew something was up. "We need to speak little one," he rumbled softly sending soothing feelings down the bond. I nodded against his chest plates. I could feel the shift in his body slightly as he turned back to his mate. "Elita, I will return." He said and she neither answered out loud or made a move to stop him. I assumed she must have said something over their commlinks because she was still trying to wrap me in her sliver of love and comfort.

The walk outside was not very long, not nearly long enough to gather my thoughts. Once in the cool air he kept walking out into the desert which I hadn't seen before. IT was quiet and the night was a deep blue. I looked upward and out of his hand toward the sky wondering why Primus/God had wanted Optimus to know what had happened to me and his plan. Optimus stopped moving and kept looking up. The bond was unobtrusive as ever just the warmth and love he'd been exuding since the nightmare.

"Sweetspark, You are very special," he told me softly. And I felt even guiltier like I was a fake or not really what they all had been so looking for. A pure and real sparkling. "Primus told me to be prepared for a gift. And that the gift would be needed but he didn't say it would be a sparkling," he continued and then looked down at me. "But a broken sparkling? I wondered how he could have been so cruel to send me this precious gift with a broken spark," he softly said his voice reverberating in his chest. I started to cry. He was right. I wasn't meant for this. There was so much baggage and I should not have brought this to him of all people. "Your profound sorrow and complicated recharge cycles point to a much older spirit than a sparkling. But the horrors in war do not have an equivalent to the ones of your dreams." My crying became more insistent and he rubbed my back with the backs of his fingers pulling me closer in our link.

"Why do you cry sweetspark?"

"Not right," I warbled and clicked in my broken sparkling language.

"What is not right, sparkling?" he crooned softly.

"Me."

"You have many characteristics of a human that many of our kind don't do instinctually. You were a human?" I nodded.

"But Primus…" I trailed off not knowing what I could say.

"I know Primus sent you little one. Whether or not you were human you are a sparkling now and have so much of the sparkling programming that there will never be any way to convince me that you are not my sparkling. You are here as Primus' gift broken or not and I will try with all my spark to make sure whatever horrors you faced before never happen again." I continued to cry and cling to the cracks in his armor. He loved me and wanted me. He knew my secret and still wanted me.

"I just wanted you…" I chirped at him through a wail.

"I do not understand why you would want me but will protect you till all are one my little one. There is no more need to be frightened of your past. I will keep your secrets and you. Elita and Ratchet will just have to come to realize that there are some things they may not know and that Primus has a plan."

"Yes," I clicked again. "I love you," I warbled up at him looking into the blue optics of so many generations and incarnations.

"As I do you with my entire spark." And I could feel it every inch of his spark wrapped around me with a gentle but steadfast love that erased all the hurt, pain, and fear at least for the moment.

"I have more nightmares," I felt it fair to warn him. I felt his chassis shutter.

"We will deal with it as it comes, my sweetspark." I sagged in his hands my relief exhausting me as all the tension drained out. He laid me back in the crook of his arm and I turned into his chest panel. Fingers rubbed the top of my helm softly. "Let us go get some Energon," he told me softly and I nodded.

His steps were long and his gait swayed almost purposefully but I was beyond caring. I didn't know where he was taking me but just that the pretense was over and that he loved me anyway. I knew I would do my best to do him proud one day when my body worked like it should and I was in my adult frame. I heard a loud bang though that startled me out of my dozing half way between recharge and alert. I almost hiccupped but Prime's swaying didn't stop. "Prime what have you," Ratchet started crossly but as he turned caught sight of his folded arms and quieted immediately. I hadn't realized until I'd come toward alertness that somewhere in his systems Optimus was playing music but it wasn't a recording he was almost humming.

"What is it ?" the CMO's tone suddenly anxious but quiet as he moved closer, I could hear his foot falls shuffle closer. My eyes were already half closed. I didn't hear anything until the scuffling moved away then back toward us a large cup in hand that was better constructed this time. As Optimus took it from Ratchet he smiled.

"Thank you," he said in a soft rumble. The medic's visage was soft as he looked at me and I gave him a tired half smile back. I was reaching for the cup as Prime's large fingers held it between them and I wrapped my fingers around his. It fit in my mouth better and with a sigh I let the electric liquid slide down the back of my tank tube. I still don't know what it is but that was ok. IT all went to the right places. It only took a few units to make my take comfortable again and the sucking motion that was common in most human infants continued. I held onto the cybertronian sippy cup by the handle and curled into his chest as he let go letting me take it with me. The recharge that came was natural this time and was blessedly sweet restful and dreamless.

XXX

As I awoke what my chronometer said was 6 hours later I was still in the arms of my cybertronian father as he swayed walked and swayed continuing his low hum of a song I knew had been almost long forgotten with the lack of sparklings for so long. Stretched my legs and arms and found they weren't stiff like they would be if I was human. They just moved and then Prime looked down at me with a smile. "You slept." I nodded.

"You no?"

"Not yet little one," he smiled again but his optics were slightly dimmer. With my new vision I could tell the slight differences in the other bots eyes now and the intensity at which each color shone. I gave him a worried chirp.

"I will sweetspark. There is plenty of time for rest." His smile wasn't as lively as it had been the night before. A twinge over the line changed my train of thought though. "You're hungry," he said as he had hours earlier knowing what I needed before I had to say anything. I nodded anyway. As he presumably went toward the medical bay he looked down at me and continued talking, "There are a great many anxious mechs and femmes who wish to see you as well as our human charges." I perked up out of his arm sitting.

"Mikaela and Sam?" I chirped. He laughed. The surprises I kept sending him seemed to amuse him now instead of scare him and in kind they did not scare me. He accepted that I was no normal sparkling but a sparkling just the same and it made me happy. HE wouldn't penalize me for my baggage and the strange things I knew. Instead he took humor in his surprise.

"Yes my little femme Mikaela and Sam. Captain Lennox and his friend Sergeant Epps would also like to see our newest addition. There are quite a few mechs that are worried for your health and safety as well. Would you like to meet them after your Energon?" I nodded emphatically as he walked into the familiar door frame of the medical bay. He held out my sippy cup that I had given back to him to Ratchet who took it and refilled it giving it back to Prime. Leaning back with a happy vent I let my fingers curl around his and drink. As I looked up in his optics the light gentled and I looked over at the CMO also and his optics were doing the same thing. I really didn't know whether to be embarrassed or not but at this point I was a baby to them and I was going to soak up every good thing being treated like a baby or not. This was heaven. I thought Primus must be wrong because nothing was better than the titanic guardian I'd come to know as my cybertronian dad.

And so after eating he pulled the cup away and gave it back to Ratchet this time not letting me keep it. I kinda grumped cuz I liked it but I let it go and looked over his hand as a familiar sound came down the hall. There were small and almost pitter pattered. But I could tell they were shoes. I chirped up at Optimus and then looked down again. A voice followed the footsteps, "OPTIMUS?" it called not rude but slightly breathy. I chirped again I new that voice. It was Will!

"WILL!" I squeaked in English. I couldn't believe it I was actually going to meet the Captain that had helped the bots. Why my mind whirled now rather than when I met Optimus I couldn't tell but it was almost becoming more real as the time went on and the players in the movies became real people. As for the human he was coming around the corner and stopped short looking up toward the red and blue semis' hands.

"Optimus?" he asked almost in awe. I giggled over the hand at his funny look. His face was a mix of wonder and almost flabbergasted, looking like he was gonna sneeze, but he didn't.

"Yes Lennox?" he asked in his baritone voice that had a mirthful edge to it.

"Is that…" he didn't know what to call me I assumed. I was suddenly descending toward the floor in the palm of my dad and the feeling wasn't bothersome.

"She is," he smiled and held me out in all my glory (what there was of it) toward the captain. His eyes were wide.

"She's so small," he said looking at me taking the complex nature of the fact that aliens did in fact have babies of some sort. "What's her name? How old is she? Who is…?" Optimus chuckled, cutting off his questioning.

"Her name is as yet unknown. I am her caretaker my sparkmate and I and she is only 2 days old as of earth time.

"She doesn't have a name yet?" Optimus shook his head. "What do you call her then?" 

"Sweetspark for now."

"That works," he smiled. He then looked at me. "Hey there little one," he said holding his hand out. "I'm," I cut him off.

"WILL!" I cried excited clapping my hands that resulted in a louder clang than I had anticipated. I pulled my self toward him willing my legs to move a bit at least. And as I scooted he obligingly plucked me from Optimus's hand.

Pulling me up under my arms and toward his chest he got two arms full of me as I wrapped my legs around his waist. "WOAH!" he huffed and curled his arms around me to hold me up. "Your heavier than a 10 year old!" he laughed.

"Our young are made of metal, Will," Prime chuckled. Just then a large African American man came around the corner also.

"Will, what is all the," he looked at me then at will then at me again. "Well, I'll be damned," he said in shock.

"Epps!" he scolded the other putting a hand up toward where my ears would have been if I was a human still. I just laughed.

Epps covered his mouth suddenly and looked up at the big guy next to him who had his hands on his hips. "Please refrain from swearing in earshot of the sparkling," he shook his head in mock exasperation.

"Sorry boss bot! My bad. Will be more careful," he said as he looked back at me and I knew him.

"EPPS!" I squealed in my high pitched cybertronian baby voice in English.

He smiled and held out his arms. "Wow she knows me already!" He took me with a grunt. "You're already a big girl aintcha."

"DAMN!" I repeated. Optimus looked down at me and I shared a look with him and let him feel my mirth over the link. Epps went about three shades of red spluttering. Prime gave him a glare and then chuckled low in his chest.

"And sparklings learn much the same way human infants do by repeating." He informed both humans.

"SLAG!" I repeated just to hear myself say the Autobot swear word. It was funny the sparkling program could be fun to live in. I knew it was childish but it was fun anyway. I don't think Optimus knew how much I could control so with another look and a little nudge down the link I burst out laughing. Epps laughed too.

"Well I certainly didn't teacher her that one!" He said in his defense. Optimus shook his head again.

"No, that was Ratchet," he told him.

"I bet he's in deep scrap," he added onto Optimus's comment.

I couldn't help it, "SCRAP!" I shouted. Optimus had had enough and plucked me up by a bar between my shoulder blades. I indignatly squawked.

"Now that's enough out of you little one. That is no way for a daughter of a Prime to talk." It dawned on me that I'd cursed for years before this. I folded my arms and looked at him crossly. He gave me a tiny shake to make a point but the screaming that ensued was not what he expected. This was sparkling 101. A scruff bar was designed to allow large bots to gather there sparklings and hold them in a submissive position to ensure safety and to stop the behavior. A small shake had never injured a sparkling in all the records on Cybertron. They were built to sturdy. There was nothing to rattle loose or injure, however a previous human who been handled like a rag doll and encountered the explosive temper of a father not so long ago to her caused a jarring of memories from her previous life.

The screams were deafening and the Prime was immediately sorry for his lack of knowledge of human sparklings. He pulled her close to his chest wrapping her in his large arms cradling, rocking, anything that had worked before. He hadn't known the standard Cybertronian discipline that amounted to a cross look and pointed finger would send his new femme sailing into past trauma. But the screeching sound didn't die down even as he wrapped me in his warm embrace and through our bond. The memories were two prominent.

"OPTIMUS!" Lennox called to him, "What's the matter with her?"

"I frightened her," he called back. "Standard Cybertronian tactics don't seem to work well with my knew sparkling1" he boomed over my noise just loud enough for the others men to hear.

"Let me try big guy," the captain called up. The prime looked form me to Lennox and then back. My fear spiking like knives in his spark, his choice was made. He took me in his palms and held me back out to Lennox where he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him like he did Annabelle when she was upset at home. He cringed as I cried but bounced his legs a little rubbing my back making shushing noises rocking himself back and forth. He also started a soft song his mother had taught him. Slowly my crying began to lesson and his soft hands down the back of my helm with my head on his shoulder turned to hiccups and occasional intakes. "That's it little girl," he soothed never stopping his motions. I was finally too tired to care anymore and the emotional toll send me into an involuntary naptime.

XXX

When I awoke my cybertronian father was doing much like he'd done the night before except following Lennox's example to the tee. I opened my optics fully looking at him guilty again. He caught it and wrapped my everything in his warmth in his spark.

"Don't be guilty or sad my sparkling. I am sorry I brought back those terrifying images to your processor." I sniffled a little but didn't cry.

"More nightmares," I told him in sparkling language.

"I understand my daughter," his words warmed my chilly side of the bond. He smiled at me. "It will not happen again sweetspark," he tone was solemn a promise in his words. I nodded.

"Still love me?" I asked unsure.

"Till all are one my sparkling," he smiled. "Never doubt that." I sighed and snuggle into him. My chronometer told me I had only been out an hour. "Though I gave the captain a scare the others still want to meet you," he suggested. I yawned and nodded. I might as well couldn't do anything else to embarrass myself more.


	5. Meeting

Optimus took me from his quarters where he had taken me after I'd fallen into recharge in Will's arms and started down the hall. I didn't know where we were going but assumed it was to meet at least Mikaela and Sam. I hoped they would accept me as Will and Epps did. The large steps of my cybertronian father ate up the ground that seemed so long to my eyes as he walked. I found myself in front of a door that read "rec room" in Cybertronian and English.

The door hissed open but the light that spilled out was brighter than that in the hall. It took me only a moment to adjust to the illumination and to behold the gathered Autobot contingent in its entirety with a few exceptions. I looked up at all the bots with large optics and a mouth agape. I couldn't believe they were all here. I looked around to Bumblebee, Ratchet, Ironhide, Arcee, Jolt, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Chromia, and Elita. ON the floor around their feet were the humans that had become friends and almost family to them. The whole room was silent. I didn't know what they wanted or what to do. But with a prod from the bond I squeaked a "hi?" with a little wave. The tension melted in the room and they all came forward as one to greet me.

Seeing them all step come at me would have been overwhelming if I hadn't been dreaming of this day since I was a child and was the first cartoon. I lifted my arms to the incoming mass of cybertronians and was plucked from Optimus's hands my non other than Elita. "There's my sweetspark," she crooned. She was a proud mother alright but I could tell from her light link with me she meant every word of it. The night's activities with Optimus had not bothered her and she was settled and convinced on being my mother. So knowing her intentions were pure I leaned into her smiling feeling the gentle pet of femme fingers over my back and helm. The pressure was gentler than Prime's and spoke of a softer love just as fierce but the link almost had a sweet twinge to it. I grasped a hold of it inside my spark and seemed to wrap it around me like a thread starting to become a cloth. The other femmes seemed to crowd around her and coo at me as I wrapped my arms around her neck. Chromia leaned in and smiled.

"My turn," the blue femme said and I was passed to her without question. This was more of an act of trust than not taking me into consideration. The Autobot family was large and when a sparkling was blessed into a pod like the small one on earth it was custom to have everyone "imprint" the child's signature on their sparks. It was like a large extended family that had literal ties to each other. From the sparkling programming I concluded I was supposed to nuzzle into each bot's spark in their chest which let their sparks resonate with mine briefly. And so laying my head against her breast plates momentarily I felt a small ping inside my spark that was there and gone in a flash. And just as I got comfortable I was passed off to another.

"Oh a sparkling," Arcee spoke softly as she gathered me against her chest plate. I curled into her and felt the connection again and the slight pressure in my spark seemed to grow just a fraction. It was as if my spark was growing. Ironhide then walked up to Arcee.

"Let me see that sparklet," he grumped but his voice had a soft tone that belied his words. It was gentle and soothing almost like Optimus's with a little more sand paper mixed in. His spark was very warm and strong. I could sense it just as he held me up to chest height and I put my head against his chest. But it was comfortable there too. It felt like a long lost piece of myself settled into my spark. He was strong and brave but pretty much a big softy in the middle. Quite frankly as he moved toward the next bot I didn't want to leave and I wrapped my hands into a bit of delicate wiring an inside a seem in his armor. When he tried to hand me off I was met with a small grunt and then snuggled back into his large black chest plates. I heard laughter then.

"Hide, you gotta way with sparklins," a lighter voice said with a twinge of mockery. Other's laughed too and I didn't like them making fun of Hide. He was nice and warm and comfortable more so than any others besides my parents. I opened my blue optics blazing towards the speaker. I could tell by his bright yellow color who it was.

"NO MAKE FUNA HIDE!" I shrieked. It seamed everything I said or yelled came out in a shrill cry or shriek. I sighed inwardly not liking how high pitched and whiny I sounded, but I put it aside to think about another time. Sunstreaker put his hands up in a placating guesture when he caught not only my unhappiness but also most every mech and femmes immediate disapproval. He came up to where Ironhide had me and bent down.

"Sorry there little one," he soothed genuinely. "We're all glad you like the big fella," he smiled. "But could we all have a turn to get to know you too?" he asked simply. It wasn't an outlandish request and he really seemed to want to. So I although reluctantly let go of Ironhide with a comforting thought from my daddy behind me that there would be time to see him later. Sunstreaker reached for me and I for him and I let his spark echo mine and then the slight ring I could almost hear in my processor aligned itself in my spark and I knew this mech was safe. His twin next to him tall and red looked at me and put out his hand. I felt odd sitting between the two sparks because it was the same sensation from both sides and between them I could tell once bonded to one you were bonded to the other. So the second half of the echo side my spark only completed the first half. Sitting in both their hands their sparks at either side of my small body it felt as if I could touch something almost otherworldly almost spiritual. There was a peace there I didn't care to leave right away but with a small prod again this time from my mother I was handed off to yet another.

Jolt pulled me to his chassis but almost awkwardly. His spark was high pitched and fast it felt almost like it glowed even behind his shielded chest armor. As his spark met mine it was almost to bright to bear and the small piece that rested inside me momentarily burned brighter than the rest making my intakes hitch. It would have been a novel and pleasant feeling if I had understood what was happening or how much of a spark the mech had but it was more overwhelming than anything and I started to back pedal almost off his hand.

Optimus was suddenly their just as I would have dropped off curling me into his chest almost into a ball. My intakes were still hitching as if I was breathing hard something left over from being human I supposed. The overpowering sensation not only scared me but seemed to have scrambled some nerve wires. They weren't hurting but it was like they were alight with some type of sensation almost an itch. And other systems seemed have been thrown into overdrive. Everything was brighter, louder, and just MORE.

But daddy's warmth that emanated from his spark poured over me like a balm and he wrapped me tightly in his embrace both inside and out. If it was possible at the time I would have crawled into his sparkling hold however now, wasn't the time. "It's alright sweetspark. Jolt's spark is unique just as all of ours is. His has a high power output. Your brief connection with him has just energized your systems more than you're used to. Many of your systems have been running at a lower capacity to help you adjust." He opened a port near my wrist joint and slid a small wire to help me compensate for the overloaded sensory input. He quickly moved through my neural net moving all the systems into their standard settings. I realized finally I'd stopped shaking something I didn't even know I'd started. I looked over at Jolt with a shaky smile his face looked crest fallen.

"I'm very sorry my spark damaged you little one… I didn't know that knowing you would be detrimental…" Optimus cut him off.

"The crash had rattled some of her programs under normal circumstances this would not have happened. This isn't your fault and there is no harm done. Don't let this discourage you from being close to the sparkling." He petted me and I nodded.

Jolt looked weary but agreed. "As you wish Prime." Optimus nodded.

"Now who is still left?" he asked. Bumblebee almost danced with anticipation next to the red and blue semi's left arm. Prime looked around almost ignoring him but I could feel through the bond he was playing with him. I decided to take pity on the yellow bot and tapped my dad's finger.

"Him daddy!" I called up pointing to Bumblebee. He made the cutest sound I'd ever heard but he didn't talk. I remembered from the movie. I made little grasping fists like any toddler eager for an "up" and I saw the blue in the mech's eyes melt. It was worth every second of acting like an infant. Optimus placed me in to his cupped palms and I immediately reached for his chest armor stumbling a little bit on my way. I at least got to my knees with out falling. I put my arms right around where his front fender rested near the Chevy sign. I felt his spark loyal and true. It felt a lot like Optimus only more playful and mischievous. I gave him a hug and his hands curled around me in a hug back.

I saw him share a look with Prime and then give a shrug. I just enjoyed the connection and soft flare of spark to spark that was quick but binding. Somewhere in my head I was squealing with all the fangirliness I had worked up over so many years "I'm hugging bumblebee!" And I lost myself leaning against his yellow chest plate for a more than a few minutes and a questioning nudge came down the bond. I sent him back my happiness about meeting Bee. He let me be another minute until Ratchet came and stroked my back.

"One more little femme," he smiled gently. He was such an old softy when he wasn't throwing wrenches. I smiled up at him he was another of my faves. I wanted to feel his spark too. So I freely let go of bumblebee and went to his had to be pulled to his chassis. The spark was old even older than Optimus' but the care and determination ran so deep it seemed there was no bottom. He cared too much which is why he was so gruff. It made sense now and his spark felt safe I could trust him with my life and he'd always come through. Optimus let him hug him too a minute and then patted my back with a finger.

"Our human friends have waited a long time to meet you too small one," he said as he gathered me back into his hands. I hugged him a moment to let his comforting embrace sooth any of the last vestiges of spark-knowing as I would find out it was called. And then he pulled me away from his warm chest and plopped me in the middle of the floor on a soft mattress that had been put there for my and the humans comfort. I looked around at all of them. There was Sam, Mikaela, Will, Epps, Sarah and Annabelle. The small dimpled curly headed girl caught my eyes first and was in Sarah's lap. I tried to get onto my knees and finally with a little help from Elita sitting to my right I was able to crawl over the fluffy springy material toward her.

Sarah gave a worried glance toward will seeing my single mindedness to meet their daughter first but I saw him lay a hand on her arm and she relaxed. They seemed to trust the bots implicitly. Their lives must be wrapped as tight as some of the fanfiction stories said they were with Ironhide. Annabelle looked straight at me with sky blue eyes and her mother let her go after she fought to get away for a full minute. My progress was slow and clumsy and hers was smooth and quick as she crawled to meet me half way. In the middle we looked at each other and I sat up and said "hi" and waved. Annabelle did the same thing back and asked in her baby English how old I was. I answered her in baby cybertronian and responded with another question in sparkling language. It was easier to talk with her in the sparkling language because she seemed to have a better grasp on that than we both had on English. The bots and humans all cooed at us and laughed as we seemed to become fast friends. But I think she got board of me before I did of her and she crawled back to her mother for something new to do while I set my sights on Sam.

I turned to crawl over to Sam and he was about to get up and pick me up when Optimus shook his head. At Sam's disgruntled look he said, "She needs the practice." And Sam nodded and smiled but held out his arms to me as I made the tech over. It seemed like a long way. The organization of movement was starting to tire me out. It used a lot of my focus. Once close enough I crawled into his lap and made myself comfortable looking up in his face intently. He let his arms rest around my back and looked back with a smile. But when my stare didn't move or blink he started to become unsure and look around. As for me I just couldn't believe I was looking at Sam.

"SAM!" I suddenly said to get his attention and he jumped a little because he had been looking up at Prime. He looked down startled and then smiled again.

"Yup that's me," he grinned. I hugged him suddenly. I hoped that he would be the one to make sure dad didn't get killed this time. He was so young still just about to graduate high school if my timing was right. He wrapped his arms around me still puzzled but probably glad I liked him.

"Sam," I whispered my vocalizer at it's lowest setting. "We need you," I said looking up into his eyes. His eyes met my optics and I knew he could see the intensity there. I wondered if he could imagine pools of water in them on the brink of tears. And before I could stop myself I added, "Don say no." Optimus realized that what was passing between Sam and I wasn't normal and put his hand down to stroke my back to break cycle of feelings that were bombarding him through the link. Terror, sadness, grief, guilt, and so many others he couldn't explain or make out in the torrent. His fingers on my back brought me to the present and I hugged them tightly. I then gave Sam one more hug and a shaky smile, "Sorry." I crawled off his lap and into Mikaela's.

"Mikaela," I sighed happily and leaned into her. She wrapped her arms around my waist with a laugh. "No go," I ordered to her with a nod. I was already tired gain. The spark-knowing and other activities had taken there toll and Optimus could see my optics weren't as bright as normal. With a smile he looked at everyone from his kneeled position.

"Well everyone now know our sparkling, We have yet to name her and that can wait until tomorrow. We will gather again after her femme creator and I speak." They all gave the couple pats on the back and made a point to say goodbye to me. I waved from my dad's arms and started to fidget as the last mech left. "I know you're hunger," Prime told me. I nodded. He was always on top of it. Sam tapped his foot before he could leave though.

"Optimus?" he asked kinda of oddly.

"Yes, Sam?"

"Your sparkling she's…." He didn't have the right word without offending the leader.

"She is special yes."

"But more than that," he said and Opitmus nodded. "Do you think she sees stuff?"

"That wouldn't surprise me in the least. Now I need to get her some Energon and a recharge my friend," he said by way of excusing himself. Sam sputtered.

"Oh yeah of course. Later!" Optimus continued walking until he got to the medbay and Ratchet gave him my now standard sippy cup filled with the Energon brew I liked. I drank I quickly and the full feeling of my tank and the rocking motion my dad's steps lulled me into another nap.


	6. Name

God or rather Primus hadn't been joking when he said there were things that were different between the Autobot's and humans. As I got more comfortable in my baby bot body and more mobile at least crawling wise I found out how little control I had over my life. It was frustrating to say the least to be somewhat an adult in my own mind and have no say or not much as it were.

Privacy was a whole other issue too. Bonds were wonderful. They filled all the holes in your spark or soul. They lent you all the strength and comfort you could ever need. BUT they also knew your every thought and want and could squash those feelings rather than letting you working through it yourself. Being a previous human I wasn't born or sparked or whatever with the common knowledge of how to shield myself against those intrusive feelings. So I think by now I would have been overwhelmed with all the people in my business and mind if I had the opportunity to feel uncomfortable at all. Somewhere was telling me I should be feeling this and another part probably the sparkling programming was comforted by their constant proximity.

Although my humanness craved the privacy and autonomy that I'd once had alone in my head there was something that superseded it all and it was the fact that with those bonds I was safe. There was no way to hurt me without hurting yourself in return which made the foreignness of the bonds so welcoming. When I had nightmares or when Optimus had scared me that first time he'd shook me by the scruff bar it had physically hurt him. My fear had wounded his spark as entwined as he was with me. It was a very vulnerable place to be as a sparkling but even more so for him. He was wide open to a complete stranger and I knew deep down how mortal and susceptible that made him. But he did that for me blindly and willingly and that humbled and quieted any reservations about the links I shared with him and the rest of the Autobots.

On my way crawling away from my parents's room late one night when they were in recharge I decided I'd go about the base by myself finally. They could take me here and there but I just wanted to do it MYSELF. Unfortunately my knees made soft clanking noises on the concrete. The soft pinging sound didn't disturb my femme and mech creators as I looked back as the door hissed shut. HA freedom! I figured sticking to the wall I'd be safe from most eyes since everyone was either huge or in a hurry. The halls were kinda dim anyway. I really didn't know what I was looking for maybe some clue as to when I was rather than guessing or finding out something about all the transformers that I didn't know. I was so used to being a watcher of their lives as people wrote about them that living in their midst I felt like I was missing things, important things, that they wouldn't share with a sparkling. Daddy and I would have to have a talk about that.

I made my way down the hall as quietly as I could I was headed towards the rec room or so I thought. I'd only been here a week or two or something an I had been basically carried everywhere. On I journeyed down the corridors and was bypassed by Jolt looking at a data pad as I held my intakes and waited for him to pass and then by a soldier on the far side of the large open hallway. But as I continued to take different turns I could feel myself getting turned around and lost. I cursed my inherited lack of direction that seemed to have followed me into this robot body that should have GPS or something built in. The fear of being separated from the others was suddenly coming to the forefront of my mind and the reality of being completely alone and truly helpless in this large place made my tank churn. I was caught off guard by the lack of ability to think straight in the face of that staggering fear and the immature feelings that I'd kept even as an adult in a human body flooded my processor and overcame every shield I'd put into place. I melted into a puddle of squealing wires completely unable to plan or feel past the terror.

Plopping down on my bottom with a loud thunk I let my parents feel the full brunt of my fright and loss reaching across bonds that were now familiar. I shrieked in the empty hallway loud and long but the links to my creators seemed to light up on the inside of my spark sending distressing feelings and messages calling for help. For many long seconds there was silence all around me and I didn't know if they had even heard me. The bonds however opened up pouring through my soul their care, love and fear for me. It was an instant comfort but I realized that the bonds couldn't soothe everything away as I once thought. Their over powering feelings were nothing in the face of this real fear. And this was the first time I'd been by myself with a genuine concern. So bonds it seemed had their limits and I had more control over my feelings than I thought. Unfortunately it was in the middle of the shit storm I'd put myself in.

Wailing, the cries echoed back to me but from somewhere I heard the beat of large metal peds slamming into the hard ground that the base was made from. It too far to hear but I could feel it in my metal body getting closer. "DADDY" I called. I felt him and called spark and soul. There was so much I'd put into that call that it had the Primes feet moving even faster. Behind him I heard and felt a slightly softer banging of peds knowing it was my mom I called to her also, "MOMMY!" They were both in English what I always seemed to revert to in distress.

Suddenly, there they were at the end of the junction of hallways that I'd turned down several minutes before and all the terror melted away in the face of those two large bots bearing down on my position. My crying didn't stop even as I raised my arms toward them. Optimus dropped to his knees about 30 seconds before Elita did and bent down and pulled me up under my arms with both hands. "Sweetspark," he spoke soft and gruff with relief looking me over. He pulled me to his chest rumbling softly singing that old cybertronian lullaby I'd heard once before. Two more knee plates hit the cement next to Prime and a smaller pink hand began to rub my helm with soothing words. I didn't catch most of them I just let myself feel their sparks in the midst of the chaos. There were sirens going off, lights flashing, and even more metal peds and human feet pounding down the hallway.

And in the middle of it all was two worried, gentle, caring, loving, metal, giant beings curling around their three foot and some change daughter who'd had the brilliant idea to sneak out of bed and explore. Could they be more human than the natural homosapians of earth? After being human and experiencing the capacity of those who claimed to be it was sure looking like it.

Optimus pulled Elita and himself to their feet with me curled between them still mewling from time to time. The Prime looked over his cupped hands at the rest of the Autobots and soldiers gathered. "It's alright we found her…" he told them all in a calm but tired voice. "Thank you for reacting so quickly."

"What the hell happened Pri…" Lennox saw his balled hands against his spark and how Elita kept a hand over his larger ones whispering toward the cupped digits. They met his eyes a moment but the looked that passed between Prime and him explained the fright he had suffered from the distressed cry of his sparkling. "Is she ok?" he asked realizing it was a situation regarding Optimus's daughter. The Prime nodded.

"She somehow got out of our quarters and roamed the halls," he answered with a slight exasperated tone.

"She got scared and called for ya huh?" Epps questioned further. Optimus nodded again. "That's a long way away to here her cry big guy, WOW."

"She is bonded to us, brother. Her terror was ours." Lennox and Epps's eyes went wide realizing just how intricutly cybertronians tied themselves to their families.

"Well as long as she's ok," Lennox commented.

"Yes we can call off the alarms now that she is found," Elita told Ironhide behind Lennox. Immediately the blaring sirens silenced and there was a loud announcement that there was no attack and the base was secure.

"You're sure she functioning alright Prime?" Ironhide looked over his cupped hands coming in closer. I could slightly feel the call of his warm strong spark. In close proximity and profound emotions sparks known to another could be felt. I answered the soft call allowing him to brush against my now settling spark. Ironhide shook his head with fond exasperation. "You sure do have a will of your own," he commented quietly.

"That she does," Optimus looked up at his weapons specialist. "That strength of will, shall guide her I think for good and bad," he said looking from the black top kick to his mate.

"Her name?" Elita asked. Prime nodded. "Steel," Elita answered.

"Yes, Steel Mettle." I heard the name leave Optimus's vocalizer and pulled my head away from his chest to look up into his optics with my blazing blue ones. He looked down at me and repeated it, "Steel Mettle." I nodded. Prime looked down into my optics and into my spark/soul and then suddenly sagged. "Primus, you will be everything that named says and more my daughter. But nothing that implies will ever makes us love you any less." Elita stroked my helm nodding in agreement.

Somewhere from down the hallway another set of peds stomped. I could hear muttering like someone was trying to keep from cursing up a blue streak. "Alright! All of you! Back to recharge before I start welding afts! Prime, Elita, get that sparkling into my medbay now I want scans to make sure she's ok!" It was Ratchet and he was in a mood. Now I'd read many many times that you shouldn't piss him off but quite frankly I just wasn't in the mood and want to go to bed with my parents.

"NO!" I shouted. Ratchet stopped mid turn on his way back to his medbay. With a wrench in hand he walked up to me. Optimus instinctually pulled me back toward him.

"Now don't you pull her back you know I won't hurt that sparkling!" he yelled before my dad opened his hands just enough to let him see me. "And you little sparklet are going to get scanned."

"NO!" I moved toward my dad's fingers and he opened them a bit more I looked Ratchet directly in the eye. At this point I was just mad.

"Yes you will. You don't have a choice. I am the doctor and everyone in the Autobots follows my orders," he said in an authoritative tone. He told me like this was just how everything was and always would be. I'd never been one to take anything just because someone said so.

"NO," I said again and crossed my arms. My optics never left his and he stared into mine. I knew he was trying to win this battle of wills. Well too bad I'd come this far tonight might as well go for broke.

It took a full minute until Ratchet started to chuckle and then started to laugh. I was flabbergasted. "Oh Prime, you're in for it. Steel Mettle, aptly named my brother." He continued to laugh and turned to walked back to the medbay leaving me confused and the rest of the Autobots looking at me as if I'd suddenly turned into a Decepticon.

"Let us retire Steel, It's been a long night already and you need recharge and energon," Optimus finally said as everyone dispersed. I had the distinct feeling I missed something.


	7. Work

A few more weeks came and went in my new home. I was utterly taken aback by the sheer amount of work Optimus had been putting off during my adjustment period. The first day he was back he got up extremely early for me at least. My parents had decided that sleeping in his sparkling hold would be better where they all could concerned because they could keep an eye on me better. I also could sleep in the bond closer to his spark. There were nights however I chose to sleep on top of Elita's chest plates with her spark chamber open slightly where I had direct access to her spark.

I didn't notice when my dad had gotten up from his recharge and gone to his office at about four that morning, cutting his recharge short of course. He was apparently reading a data pad that irked him something fierce that nudged at the bond and the stronger emotion woke me up from my extended recharge near his spark. The time registered about six in the morning and it was time I got up anyway since I needed Energon.

I stretched that served more to let Optimus or Elita know I was awake and ready to get up (there was a difference). The contours of his sparkling hold were still spacious enough to adjust to my movement. _**Are you ready to awaken? **_he asked. The question was put to me every morning sometimes with different wording but with the same soft laughter and tender love behind it. It came in either his or Elita's voice.

_**Ya,**_ I answered casually with lazy comfort. When I awoke I was in a haze bathed in a glow that reminded me of a sky on a spring day. That blue came to signify the peace and safety I had so longed for. My Dad's chest plates opened slowly and the artificial light flooded the small space.

I rolled into his hands with implicit trust and then looked up at him with a smile. He looked at me and smiled at me but his eyes were slightly dimmed. I nudged him over the bond in light chastisement knowing he'd cut his recharge short. He nodded passed me in explanation. I turned around and looked down at the large desk filled with data pads and a tiny stack of papers that looked human sized. My mouth fell open. Now I'd never seen dad's office but it was HUGE and on the table top there was space he'd set aside for me it seemed with a small comfortable mat and my energon sippy cup waiting for me along with a view screen that already had cartoons playing on it. I smiled at the place he'd created for me. It felt good knowing that he wasn't going to kick me out of the office to somewhere else with someone else while he worked long hours.

I looked at the small place set aside for me again and thought for a moment though about how long this would last. Was it only because I was still adjusting or would he eventually dump me off with someone else to watch during the day? The thought was unnerving and my spark revolted at the thought. Optimus had been distracted momentarily by a data pad in his other hand as his chest armor closed but his optics suddenly returned to my face the feeling permeating the link. The feeling of being abandoned seemed to make a frequent appearance in my mind and it always filtered down the link with my father no matter how slight. He was extra sensitive to that feeling from me, and it was as if he had programmed his spark to recognize that emotion even in the smallest shard. He put down the data pad and pulled me to his face.

"I will never abandon you sparkling," he rumbled softly to me and rubbed a check plate against my small face. I hugged his nose and check with my meager arm length and then let go.

"Ok," was my customary answer because I couldn't say 'I know,' because I didn't. Maybe one day, I hoped soon, I'd believe it. He had been planning to put me on the mat and let me feed myself so he could get back to the data pad he'd had but I could feel his thought process switch to a more intimate way of giving my nourishment as he followed through laying me back into the crook of his arm and giving me the energon as I lay there.

In the time since the disaster in the hallway when I was lost I'd learned how to block parts of the bond. I'd also learned about how much control I had over my emotions which was a lot considering all the people that could influence what I did feel. In the back of my mind while I let my feelings of contentment flow down the link I planned to make it easier for my cybertronian father. The other bots could watch me I don't know why I didn't want to go. There was an uneasiness in my programming that I pushed aside and allowed my adult mind to gloss over in favor of helping my dad.

XXX

The next day I woke up again in my fathers sparkling hold hours after he'd been at work in his office. After allowing me to disembark from his sparkling hold I went to my side of his desk and took my energon as he was soon distracted by a blip on his screen. It was Ironhide contacting telling him that there was a meeting later today with the head brass. He gave me a sideward glance and then looked back at the screen. Ironhide had noticed to as the tone of the conversation turned to how he could get by with just being on screen rather than attending himself. My sparkling programming was pleased by this and a calm came over me however I didn't feel it fair to saddle the bot with the disadvantages that came with having a sparkling but more so with having ME.

"Daddy," I interrupted. He looked at me as both went silent. "You go," I told him in sparkling language. His smile was soft and placating.

"It's alright my sparkling the screen will be sufficient," he ran a hand down my helm and then around to my cheek. The contact almost made me forget why I was arguing but I was stubborn.

"Daddy, go." It was almost a command. Ironhide almost chuckled, but I only heard a clearing of intakes on the other end of the line. My father looked conflicted and then I offered him a way out. "I go wif Bee?"

He smiled again, "Do you wish to spend time with others my spark?"

There was hitch in my thinking a moment where almost everything in me balked at the thought but I shoved it aside. "Yes," I smiled lying for the first time to my dad. It felt wrong everything about what I was doing felt wrong but I forced happy peaceful feelings toward the link.

He nodded and looked back to the screen and looked down keeping a tight reign on my emotions. I'd down this before just not to such a degree to hide it from someone connected to me but old habits die hard. Everything about lying to him was bad. It was wrong to lie especially to my DAD. My good DAD. The loving practically robojesus! I would have laughed at the thought myself if I didn't feel so miserable inside. But the morning went by and soon it was early afternoon and Bumblebee had come by to pick me up to spend some time with him and his charges both Mikaela and Sam.

XXX

The yellow camero came walking in with the two humans on each of his shoulders. They were smiling as he played some song I'd never heard before. Optimus smiled up at his scout. "Bumblebee," he said with a nod. "Sam, Mikaela," he also greeted.

_**Sir**_ he messaged with a nod. I squeaked and looked up at him. I didn't like the fact I'd be away from my dad but the thought of spending some time with Bumblebee made me perk up. Optimus had tried to broach the subject several times when he thought I was acting weird but I'd just smile and brush off his worry.

"We'll there's the little 'un," someone said through he radio. I didn't know who but I remember that's how he talked. As he came closer to the desk I felt his spark brush against mine and I let him feel mine a little just enough for him to know that I was happy to see him. His antennae perked up and put both hands under my arms pulling me to his chassis like any adult would pick up a toddler.

"Hi Bee!" I said in English. My sentences were limited to just a couple words at a time whatever language I used. His car alarm chirped back at me. I also heard him say hi to me in my commlink. I hugged him and then he held me up to say hi to both Sam and Mikaela. The woman greeted me with a hug as well as the "boy" as they all called him.

We then walked out of the office and I could feel my dad's spark as well as my mom's spark get farther away as we continued to walk out of the base and then into the dessert where Bumblebee changed into his camero form and we took to the streets of a nearby town.

Well needless to say I was happy to be out of the base and looking at a world I had once lived. It was interesting sensing the new world with such sharp senses but also different than I used to have. I was able to look out the window a little but not to high as not to draw attention to myself. Bumblebee had cloaked me in a hologram that looked like a three year old girl. I had blond hair and blue eyes. When I asked him how he knew he just mentally shrugged which I could feel over the commlink and told me he'd sensed it. The car ride and the conversation were funny and fun but in the back of my mind there was still apart of me wanting nothing more than to be back at the base. This felt to fast and too much for his small body.

So when we go back I let myself sink into my mom and dad's arms happily and take a nap in his sparkling hold. My self imposed exile had taken a lot out of me.

XXX

The next few days went like this where I would wake and be allowed to go with a different bot or femme. I spent time with everyone even an afternoon with Will and Epps. Several of the soldiers in their core group got to know me too. I had to admit the game of duck duck goose with one sparkling and five grown men was funny.

But by the time the fifth day rolled around the strain of the separations during the day and the stress of keeping up guards and barriers inside the link was exhausting. I'd slept way past my normal time to get up and I felt a nudge on the bond that brought my CPU toward alertness but there was a spike in fear that I couldn't control and I rolled up closer to his spark. I felt the sparkling programming much like the child in me crying against another day away from this safety. The walls were thin by now and threatening to spill over the unpleasantness and almost panic at times being away from him and my mother. For Elita she was in and out of Prime's office at least four times a day to connect with me when I was there and to see her sparkmate. The completed triangle made me feel safer and more whole than I did when separated.

My dad immediately picked up on the rising fear and pulled me out of his sparkling hold with a swiftness that scared me more. He pulled me to his chest in his arms. "Steel, what is wrong? Your spark is besot with fear and dread." I sighed letting my sparkling programming lead to another crying spell it had been a week I was entitled damn it. The barriers that I'd erected between our bonds broke like dams holding back water and the unfilled time needed next to his and my mom's sparks came to the forefront. It was as if I had a deficit of bonding time which was not unheard of in the human world but needing this much? I thought there was something wrong with me. "Dear Primus sparkling your suffering from spark bond deficiency!" he felt the full force of my sparks weakness that I hadn't seem to notice. As a human I hadn't known what it felt like. I was under the impression that the flow and ebb were natural cycles of the organ. Optimus was immediatnly on his feet.

"RATCHET!" My father yelled and my mother was coming up the same hallway worry in her optics. Her spark chamber was already opening as was Primes even as they were running towards the med bay. Somewhere between the med bay and his office he had commed medibot and he had everything ready when the doors hissed open quickly. "Ratch she fluctuating even with our sparks open."

"Her barriers have interfered with the flow of energy between you three," Ratchet told him taking me from him. I whimpered now being serpated from both me parents again. He scanned me and I didn't flinch a bit. My lack of protestations and spirit made him worry. "Why in the pit did she block you?" he asked completely stunned, "sparklings shouldn't even be able to construct this kind of block I've bot to insert some type of programming to stop this type of interference…,"

He was about to say something else when both Optimus and I cried out simaltanoiusly, "NO!" Ratchet looked at him then me.

"Well why the slag not?" he asked Prime.

"She needs the ability to block when she deems it necessary" he answered vaguely.

"No sparkling needs to block their creator its not healthy as you can see the extended periods of time she's spent away from you had caused the spark bond deficiency."

"Ratchet she needs her freedom to do this she was unaware that the block could lead to this," he said rubbing my back.

With a cross but resigned look he sighed, "Alright Prime, you're the care taker you know best." He then put me on the berth and began to hook my spark chamber up to paddles that looked similar to the ones they used in hospitals to monitor heart beats. "Why in the pit did you put up the bonds in the first place sparkling?" he asked me pointedly with an edge of worry in his voice.

"Daddy need work," I clicked at him. "No wanna keep him," my words became jumbled and my clicks descended into warbles of distress and I started to cry. "Sorry daddy, I lie," this is what brought the cries of sorrow.

My fathers face was suddenly still and his lip plates set in a firm line. I could tell he was angry the link was flooded with the sudden flare. It nearly burned through me. I instinctively reared back from him scooting as far away from him on the berth as possible as quickly as I could. I almost fell but caught myself. The reply of fear from my spark almost instantaneously in response to his rage snapped him out of his mood and brought him closer to me with reassuring love and forgiveness. My mother had circled around the other way sending me the same feelings. The fear that had blossomed in the heat of his mad was not quelled so easily though. He reached for me and I ducked out of the way and went towards my mother. She caught me in her hands and looked at Optimus.

"Sparkling," he started as he walked towards me and I wailed. It was a audio piercing sound of terror that he'd heard only a few times in all his orns. Elita's creator programming kicked in and pulled me farther away from him cradling me near her spark. The protective gesture and feelings emanating form her link to me nudged that door between us open even more and I felt her feelings of safety flood my panicking spark. Prime just stood their stunned but didn't move toward us at all. His sorrow flowed to Elita and I making my mom give him a comforting look. But it took me a minute or two to let her bond finally filter out the terror and then let his feelings of love and reassurance and sorrow at scaring me register in my processor.

He could feel the change as I turned to look at him. Ratchet was on the other side of the room watching the exchange. I'd ripped off all his monitoring equipment but he didn't seem to care he watched to see how this would turn out I guessed somewhere in my CPU. But my focus was on my dad large red and blue and looking utterly defeated. Never in any show, cartoon, or movie had I seen this look of desolation on his face. I realized then my end of the bond hadn't been unblocked. Wishing to wipe that look from his face plates I quickly undid the block conscious now of it and sent him my love back. His eyes looked to me brightening and his posture straightening.

"My spark?" he asked me opening his hands. I reached for him allowing my sparkling protocols to take control. I needed him and the best way to do that was to just be a baby again. He pulled me to his chest and allowed the bond between us to just flood me with his affection and tender care. All my misgivings were washed away in the torrent of his love. "Steel, I was not upset with you," I looked up at him.

"No me?" 

"Not at you no, at myself!" he hugged me again and I couldn't see his optics. "I was aware that new sparklings need that proximity and I allowed you to go with every mech but your father during the time of attachment and adjustment." His explanation made sense as to why my spark had begun to ache the last day and a half. "There is much to being a cybertronian, my daughter," he whispered only to me. "I must remember that your other instincts can interferer with that." And he left it at that not giving away to much incase the others heard but it was a reminder to me too to allow those babybot programs to guide my actions when it came to the matters of my cybertronian body. I think I'd just do that.

Ratchet who had been watching the whole thing finally spoke up, "Prime, you need to take off the next two days. That should be enough time to effectively return her spark back to its optimal levels." Optimus nodded without hesitation.

"Yes, Ratchet."

"But work…?" I asked him.

"There are things I am willing to sacrifice to get things done, an hour of recharge, free time for myself, but you are not on that list. You come first before everything my sparkling. Especially datapads that can go to the pit." I smiled. His determination, honesty and love surrounded me in a hug inside and his large hands on the outside. "Never doubt that."

"Ok," was all I could say in return my gratitude and love for the giant semi. He was everything next to Elita and I knew now things would have to go slower, slower than I wanted but to keep us all sane I could deal with this. Elita rubbed my back joining the three way hug and I wrapped a hand around her finger. Ratchet apparently wasn't quite done yet though.

"Sparkling, please remember your spark needs your creators. As a sparklet your spark is still new and they help make sure its stable until your larger frame is ready to completely take over the task." Wow so there was a biological reason that creators bonded with their sparklings. I was floored.

"Ya?" I asked surprised.

Ratchets reaction was that of surprise also. "You didn't know?" I shook my head. "Alright I don't know who created you and left you with so devoid of the essential programming for sparklings but there are going to get a wrench of their aft exhaust port when and if I ever find them," he huffed angrily. But his anger made me laugh. It was on my behalf and not at me. His face plates relaxed at once with the sounds of my laughter. The bright yellow/green medic walked over and ran a hand down my helm. "I am glad you are functional sparkling. Go with your creators now and don't pull a stunt like that again." He waggled a finger at me half heartedly. I could feel his spark brush against mine and I let him connect to it momentarily feeling his care for me. I smiled and nodded. So with a nod from Optimus and Elita which I assumed was in response to directions sent to them via commlink we left for our shared quarters for a nap I supposed.


	8. Trials

It had been a few more weeks since the bond blocking incident. Things had been wonderful. I'd been with my father much of the day in his office or with Elita on monitor duty or just sitting with her in the rec room waiting for my dad to get done with a meeting or whatever he had to do while I had private time with my mom. Elita was patient with everything that seemed to be odd about me and she gradually just would shrug when my other instincts or behaviors contradicted with what a normal sparkling or youngling would do. She loved me and accepted me strange quirks and all. That acceptance had begun to eek the door open a tad more each day. I trusted her. And that was heaven. Her unwavering diligence proved day in and out that my trust was not misplaced. My father was becoming above reproach also as his link was always awash with the love he poured into my soul with his link and his actions.

When I woke up this morning I felt empty. The berth was cold and my parents were gone. I sat up quickly looking for them only to find my spark was all but cut off from theirs. I could feel that they were still online and a faint direction of where to find their still functioning bodies, however all feelings and thoughts were completely blocked. I was basically alone in my processor for the first time in months and the desperate loneliness that consumed me was new to this body but familiar in my mind. Why had they shut me out? What had I done? Why did they let me in as a child just to shove me out and leave me behind?

The questions would have drowned my ability to think clearly if I hadn't tried to pull myself together enough to at least give them the benefit of the doubt to see what had happened. My adult brain was telling me that there had to be some reason they'd left but my baby programming was screaming they'd left me and for good too. Nothing made sense to the sparkling programming, all that piece of me knew was the searing sense of loss of the connection. My adult mind was clinging to the wild hope that they were coming back and they hadn't left forever but the wailing of the engrained programming was deafening.

I was crying I knew but I had a half formed plan to get off the berth, down the ladder, out into the hallway, and follow their sparks till I could go no more. It wasn't a very adult plan but I have a feeling any normal sparkling would have been wild with panic already and I had the advantage of at least 30 years of experience and life, as a human, it was something at least.

I went to the ladder and turned my body so that my back was to the edge of the table. I knew it was a long drop but I needed to go. So since I could at least crawl I willed my new (relatively) legs to hold me up and put one ped down over the side of the berth. I put that foot on the rung then put my whole weight on it hoping it would hold. And by Primus' grace it did. So holding on with surprising strength I didn't know I had (but it shouldn't have surprised me, I was a Cybertronian). At this point I was just happy that I had both feet on the top rung and my legs held. It was a long climb down though. And it took a long time by my chronometer it took a full 15 earth minutes. The seconds ticked off laughing at me as I went. With every tick of the internal clock I became more and more nervous. It was the last 6 feet that proved to be my undoing and my small foot slipped off one of the rungs. My amazing strength was also accompanied by a lack of dexterity which I hadn't accounted for and my inability to grab the railing quickly sent me a one way ticket to the hard floor.

It wasn't a long fall but enough to scratch my paint and rattle my processor. The fact that I didn't feel worry and comfort flowing down the link to my pain and internal scream made the shrill cry of my babybot programming ratchet up a notch. To make it worse my calls and trills in my vocalizer went unanswered by any mech or femme on the base. The rational part of my mind was clouded with baby programming and the softening of the walls that had protected her in her previous life. The love and acceptance of her new parents, as well as the healing of her soul through the bonds, had made it unnecessary to have those between me and them at least. But now a smaller version of an adult that had been trapped beneath those walls was echoing the sparkling programming the abandonment hitting me full force. I was alone.

The small link I still had to them was like a siren song to me pulling me in the general direction of safety and shelter. This was the only driving force now. I knew that the answer to all this pain and disorienting obstruction that was threatening to obliterate everything I held dear including my very spark or soul. The name to myself made no difference whatever was me was suffering from this enforced blockade I had to find them.

I got to my hands and knees shakily looking around. It must have been another several minutes that I'd sat there and cried out for someone to come. No one came. Deep inside me with all the turmoil I knew I had to do something. I was not a regular sparkling nor was I going to sit here and let these halls, walls, and base or whatever stand in my way of finding that blue light that heralded everything that had been stolen from me in a previous life. So choking back my twitters, I began the long crawl toward the door.

Once in the hallway, I crawled toward the left. That was the way I felt the pull. I obeyed the feeling without thought. Hugging the wall, my progress was slow and arduous. I couldn't believe how long the hallways were. They long grey walls that were sometimes interrupted by a panel, a door, or a screen all looked the same but the pulling direction did not. It became incrementally stronger as I continued crawling toward my goal.

My chronometer no longer mattered as I pushed away the ability to clock time in my HUD. I didn't care how long it took and watching the clock would do as much good as waiting for Santa on Christmas night. I didn't want it to have the same outcome either. Santa wasn't real, I was pushing the fact that all that safety and love was probably not either. My HUD also came to life with another warning me in red cybertronian letters that my Energon was low. I didn't want to see that color. It reminded me of hell, of death, and of Decepticons. I'd never seen one in this life yet and I really didn't want to. My thoughts were somewhat floating around as I continued my trek. It was hard to concentrate when doing so hurt so terribly badly knowing I wouldn't receive answer from my bonds. Down the empty halls I wondered ignoring several warning lights in my HUD. I didn't know what they wanted and didn't care.

I finally came toward a big open room at the end of the long hall that looked like it would lead to a way out to the open where I'd find my parents. My very will was pushing me to keep going even as I came to a large Cybertronian step down that was flanked by several human sized steps. There were a lot of them though, to me at least. Keeping with my original plan to take hurdles backwards knowing it would be better than going down head first I turned again and one knee at a time, one stair at a time lowered myself onto each stair.

The first few steps were easy I remembered vaguely of a time once LONG ago doing this it seemed to stir memories I'd long forgot in my human mind. Of a small body and a large stairwell carpeted in a small white house with an enclosed banister with small squares cut out of the wall that made it. But these stairs were concrete but it didn't bother my plated knees. But the energy it took to traverse them was exhausting especially on low Energon. My hands and knees were clumsy as I began to reach the bottom 10 stairs. This time there was nothing to hang on to at my level and my knee slipping sent me processor over aft down the steps rolling along the sharp points of the concrete stairwell.

The noise was horrible, like a clattering of pots and pans along with loud scraping of metal. It would have probably made me deaf or the Autobot equivalent if the pain hadn't scattered my senses to the stars. I felt each bump, bounce, and bang rattling my insides and sending waves through the conductive metal. I finally came to land sprawled on my stomach, prone on the floor. It was then my stubbornness stumbled a bit and I laid there keening.

The bonds were silent even as I pushed my pain, misery, panic, and fear toward them. It hit a block like a brick wall. It physically hurt to have my feelings echo back as if there were nothing down the links except a long dark hallway. But shoving the feelings toward my parents not only had the echo affect it felt like on the other side the walls became thicker and the barricade between us all but impenetrable. The reinforcement of that wall could be felt on my side of the bond and the link I had left to their sparks felt just a tad fainter. Then I was angry. How dare they! Even God sent me here and they're gonna shut me out and leave me to fend for my self or lie around like a piece of trash. I knew I was tarnished and not the youngling they'd wanted or needed during this war. I knew I didn't belong here. I knew I didn't deserve the lavish safety and love they showered me with.

IT had just been so… nice. The feeling that I was safe and comfortable, and that someone else would take care of me. I wanted that so badly especially as the walls had started to come down and that trust I gave them was so untainted by past experiences. It was reinforced by my sparkling programming once I had grudgingly given it. And for once in my long but short life it had been pure. It might have been the only thing pure about what I had to offer my parents but damn it, it had been. There wasn't much left of my spark and soul that wasn't scared and torn by past events but all those walls came springing from the ground as if they had been lying in wait all along for this. Large steel doors like the ones in bomb shelters rose around my spark and heart, around the small girl inside me that was being nurtured by that warmth and love and the babybot I had been becoming despite myself.

Hungry, tired, hurt and desperate I made it to all fours again. To my unfortunate dismay the steel doors had holes in them like those that had been weathered by storms filled with rust and weak points. They had been to long unused and the pain seeped through them coating my will to keep going but that will had survived to much to be deterred by the incredible agony it induced. Setting my faceplates as I'd done so many times I kept crawling through the large room that seemed empty.

The room however was not empty. Up on a high walkway there were several humans that had heard my keening and had looked over the walkway to try and find its source. There were sounds suddenly that sounded like the small feet pitter patter from up above but I didn't care. Crawling had taken on an awkward gait as my left hip servo was maladjusted now. My left knee had also taken damage in the fall but my right arm I was sure a cable had snapped. The pain hadn't mattered though. For some reason the searing throbbing through my frame was bearable even as I put pressure and weight on each appendage. The skitter of feet seemed to come closer and there were alarms sounding. But I didn't care my goal was within my sites as I saw a door that the schematics of the base said would lead me OUT!

It wasn't until I heard the large pounding of peds coming from the way I was going that a trickle of worry wormed it way into my outright determinedness to find my parents. Behind him, whoever had come in, were loud sounds of explosions. I knew that wasn't good. But I was so close and the large bulky form ran straight by me as if not seeing. That was good since whoever it was didn't get in the way of my mission. But behind me there were sudden explosions too. I looked up behind me just in time to see a platform be blown to bits and the human on it just jump free. A flash of black and white and that pointed purple face and I knew it was Barricade.

I was smart enough to stay quiet thankfully my determination giving way to cold reason. The fear that had run through my insides froze taking with it everything but the desperations to get to my parents and the secondary mission now not getting captured. Numb but functioning I crawled across the floor hugging the wall again until I came to a soft pink and green pile on the floor. There was red though too. And under my small hand I felt the sticky viscosity of the liquid. Pulling me hand away looking at it and then at the lump on the floor I saw it for what it was my cpu slowly putting the pieces together.

IT was a dead human one I'd played duck duck goose with not once but a few times. Lennox was friends with him. I couldn't remember his name now but my bloodied small hand pulled him over from facing the wall but the brown eyes I was looking for weren't there because the top half of his head had been crushed inward by the fall. Pulling back the door opened again automatically admitting another cybertronian but who I didn't know because it was then I shut my optics allowing a sound I didn't know I was capable of.

XXX

The audios of all the cybertronians rang with the sound of that unearthly screech. It was pain that overrode every instinct action and thought that was like burning fire through my mind and body. The walls were tumbling down like so much sand and the well that I thought didn't have a bottom overflowed its walls and poured through me. That pit had been simmering for so many years and the seething mass of tears shed, cries unheard, and cumulative pain, it was thick dark putrid lava. It even began to eat at the blockade that had blocked my parents from me.

XXX

The Decepticon's hit their knees along with many of the bots, however there were a few standing and those knew that sound. It was a power long since lost of the Prime lineage but not forgotten. A flashback from one of the first 13 rang through the matrix to Optimus, :

"I will not leave the youngest unprotected," one of the first 13 had told another. "They will have the others to protect them," the other said unconcerned. "We still can not abandon them to be completely vulnerable!" the first reiterated. "Then what would you give them?" the second questioned irritated. "The Call of the Lost," the first said simply. "You can't," the second raged. "Already done," was his parting answer as he turned his back on the other.

The scene suddenly quit and he turned toward the sound. No one else could sense the direction it came from. But Elita and Optimus felt a sudden pull at their sparks. There were only certain things that could undo the type of block on their spark bond with their sparkling. Battle protocols made it necessary to block all bonds except for the bare minimum during fighting. Any distraction could give the enemy the edge in a fight and that could get them all killed. But the barricade was now being bombarded with something that was starting to seep through.

Xxx

My spark ached dully in my chest as I screamed. The blocks on my bonds were coming down but of their own accord. My parents were opening them to me. Somewhere I worried that the burning lava that had scalded through me wouldn't hurt them. Some part of me tried to pull that overflow back away from them, protecting them. Unfortunately my spark where my will and strength came from felt as if it had shattered into a million pieces and the ability to rein it in was lost.

The flow burned through my side of the link toward my parents unfettered and uncensored. But hitting the halfway point to their sparks that were coming ever closer the blue light seemed to shine though the thick blackness driving it backward. That blue light even burned off some of the liquid thinning it and driving it back out of the links.

IT took only seconds for that love to flood the links pushing the darkness back and away. The bonds were then clear of the black and I felt both my parents wrapping themselves around that well try to at least quell the overflow with just their very beings. I watched from somewhere still wailing on the outside but feeling everything they were on the inside of me. And then they were back and I felt the babybot inside of me and a little girl I once was lean in with trusting arms and wrapped around them. A seal appeared over the well capping the unfathomable collection of past hurts.

Both the babybot me and the little girl me were being hugged by Optimus and Elita. Elita was still shocked by the revelation that I was once human but accepted it without question, things to her making more sense now. And I could feel their love for the new parents pass through me as I stood there as a separate piece of myself. I was the adult, the reason, the protector. Optimus opened an arm. "We cannot complete her without you," he said to me.

"But you left!" I cried. I couldn't trust that easily, not again not ever!

"We had to my spark the Decepticons…" I cut him off.

"What the Decepticons would have done to me would have been more humane!" I yelled back at him to his calm demeanor. I hated that calm. I narrowed my eyes.

"Never!" he almost swore at me. He pulled the two babies and Elita to his chassis. I watched him shocked. "Never would I allow them to have you! I would have followed Megatron to the end of this world and any other to have you back."

My mouth was hanging open. "But you cut me off…" I whispered in a small voice. There were parts of me hoping, softening in the face of his anger, for me not at me.

"Battle protocols. We have to my spark. If we are in the heat of battle and you call to us that one second of laps in concentration could mean our demise and therefore yours." He looked at me with such intensity.

"Sweetspark," Elita started. I looked at her and her eyes were soft as she looked at the human child in her arms then to me. "I know not what you suffered child in whatever life you had. Come to us, please, your spark can not be whole again with out you."

"Something happened…" I said almost absently. I was trying to remember. But it wouldn't come. "You left and I came to find you and…" I rambled and then stopped as tears began to streak my face.

"Oh sparkling," Elita held open an arm like Optimus continued to do. "Please don't leak. We love you. I'm sorry we had to block the bonds to fight but we wanted to protect you." Optimus nodded backing up Elita's words.

"Then you know my secret," I said looking down.

"And it doesn't matter," she followed quickly.

The rumble of Optimus's voice startled me as I began to feel strange. "Child! Sparkling! Come to us, please." There was desperation in his voice. I could go if I wanted to I realized. This life that wasn't always what I wanted that wasn't what I had imagined. He wanted to come to me but he couldn't and the fact was killing him. I had to know one last thing. The questions was answered as soon as I had thought it, "Anything!" they said together.

"The well isn't dry it's still there," I whispered. "It's not going away its apart of me. I want to stay but I don't want to burden you…"

"For once Sparkling, let us have you we will take all of you even this," Optimus nodded toward the now capped well. "We love you every part of you. But you must hurry, your spark,"

"Is fading," I said back I could feel it. Optimus and Elita looked stricken.

"Come," he waved and then there was nothing else to be said. I did and as they hugged me I seemed to reform into just the babybot that housed my spark. And in their arms inside my spark, mind, cpu wherever I felt whole again. I was still splintered but whole at the same time. There would be time later to put all the pieces back together but I could at least feel them all again and then the blue light overwhelmed my senses and I was awash in it, warm, safe, happy and resting finally. The rest of what was going on I didn't know.

XXX

Optimus and Elita had reached the door to the base only to find Barricade had come in and started shooting inside one of their control rooms just branched off and to the right of the door. He had only taken out two of the catwalks around the walls of the room and killed two men. But one of them was currently directly next to their screeching sparkling. The frequency was deafening and Elita went over to her to try and console her while Optimus went to clean house. His spark bonds were open to both his sparkling and Elita while he ran toward Barricade the Decepticon and kicked him in his face hard enough to send him flying backward. The blow knocked his CPU for a loop but he had no time to recuperate as Optimus stepped on his chest with all his might bringing down his ped with tons of force into his spark chamber.

The Prime was brutal. He had no patients for this intruder so near his sparkling. He said nothing knowing he wouldn't hear it over the call his sparkling gave off. The Call of the Lost was only a power a sparkling could call on and even then it was rare. It was said only Prime descendents could do so and only those so pure of spark and on the edge of shattering could utter the cry that one of the thirteen had bestowed upon them. They had infiltrated his base. They had come and drug him out of his comfortable recharge with his family. They had forced him to block out the damaged sparkling he was trying so hard to heal. They had rained down bombs and hate and evil on his sparkling's home and life and now with his bonds singing with the tension that his sparkling's anguish created he compressed the black and white con's chest as far as it would go. There was a crunch deep in his chest and the red lights in his optics went out.

Optimus was much larger than Barricade and he picked him up by the back of the neck and his hip plate with his spark now extinguished and plodded pounding his feet as he ran out the door flinging the body of the dead cybertronian into the nearest Decepticon that happened to be Starscream. The seeker was still reeling from the sound as Elita picked up their sparkling and it suddenly cut off. The sparkling pitched over in her hands and she hung on to her fragile damaged body. Starscream was sent flying by the weight of the other con and sent into a cement building that didn't give.

Optimus looked outside the door and called to all his eyes almost violet, "Megatron, I will finish you now!" And he ran toward the Leader of the Decepticons. It turned into a rallying cry as the other bots recovered quicker from the Call and plowed into the cons with renewed purpose. The all knew the sparkling had called. The only sparkling in the cosmos that they knew of. The PRIME'S sparkling. This was enough to drive the warriors on.

Megatron seeing his Decepticons loosing this fight called off the attack knowing something was different. He knew what that sound had been he had after all been the Lord High Protector of the Allspark. He'd had knowledge of the Call. That meant there was a sparkling without using the Allspark. The implications were boundless and with that new information he called a retreat telling his troops to return to their base and to leave the Autobots to clean up their mess.

Optimus watched him go with distain, much more than times past. But he quickly turned and walked up to his sparkmate his spark showing through the crack in his armor to expose his damage sparkling to it. Ratchet was running up behind them suddenly pushing his way between them to look knowing something had happened. He let his spark seek the sparklings. "Dear Primus, It's trying to split" he yelled. "Quickly to the medbay you must go under and concentrate on your bonds and pull her back!" The chartreuse medic was pushing them at a slow run awkwardly as they tried to continue to keep contact with each other and Steel.

Lying on a large metal table their sparks bare to their sparkling lying between them bathing her in their light, Ratchet put them under. HE knew they could reach her better out of the waking world. The two parents sunk into their bond with their daughter calling to her trying to reach her…

XXX

The world outside was fuzzy. But it came back to me in bits. I could hear things first and I could feel things next. The feeling was warm and safe. It was comforting. But the soft conversation going on somewhere was whispered and abrupt. The words were clipped and heated. I finally realized it was Lennox.

"You broke rank for what?" the whispered English words finally reached my audios"

"The machine was inactive, it had been for hours, I knew I could be of better use elsewhere!" the other unfamiliar voice rasped at him. The voice wavered though in the same room as my father and mother, even though they were recharging.

"You were picked for that detail because you had children of your own! You knew it was Prime's how could you call her that?" Lennox still whisper yelled.

"Prime's what? Kid? The idiot who told me to monitor the machine in that room was a private who said to just guard it!"

"Who was it…" Lennox said in a low growl.

"Sanders," he said. The soft voice was now quieter and not as angry. I chose that moment to turn my head toward the door which is where the muffled conversation seemed to be coming from and open my optics. I knew I was lying on top of my father his spark casing open to me as well as my mother on his side sidled up to him her spark casing open to. My blue optics met Lennox's eyes first. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Hey kiddo," he said softly. I curled myself up against my dad's chest tighter and smiled ever so slightly back at him with a small movement of my hand. My eyes moved to the other. They were brown like the color of mud nothing to spectacular about him. But I'd heard enough of the conversation to know he hadn't known enough. With a soft sigh, I gave him just a tiny wave just looking at them with my glowing blue optics to see what they would do. Lennox just waved back. "Get some recharge darling," he smiled again. The other man looked thunderstruck. He wasn't saying anything.

"By God, it is a kid…" he covered his mouth. "I'm so dead…" he mumbled looking up from my optics to my dad's still face. He hung his head and closed his eyes. "My God, Lennox, a kid? How could that idiot have not told me? And Prime's no less… SHIT…" he whispered emphatically. I closed my eyes again as he continued to curse but the last little bit I heard made me have just a little bit of faith back in the human race. "Hell, I should be dead leaving that baby alone…"


	9. Recovery

The world again was a hazy place as I began to egress toward the waking world. Everything was muted and dull even the feelings in my body. The only thing in sharp focus was the emotions that surrounded me in the bonds. The blue light that encompassed my being was enough to fill the cracks in my spark that had tried to splinter at some point in time recently. Time was fuzzy too, a muzzy thing that moved quickly and then slowed when I wasn't looking. I didn't know how long I'd been conscious enough to think about waking up but I finally decided my optics were closed long enough and opened them as the blinked on with a flare of blue light.

My father had his hand around my small body I realized as my other senses came back to me along with my vision. My mother's hand was on top of his and I could feel the warmth of their sparks close to me also. Somewhere I heard a beeping off to the right even though it was low. That was the first intrusive sound I heard until I focused and heard the intakes of my father and mother both. Those noises were comforting. Next, my fathers voice followed asking me the question he always asked me every morning but this time out loud he called to me, "Are you ready to face a new day sparkling?" Though the question was safe and part of our routine a part of me gave the query some serious thought.

Did I really want to face a new day? Others in the recent past had been fraught with pain I had thought long behind me. But here my parents were comforting me and still here. I had forgiven them long ago for shutting me out. There was no other choice to protect me they had to shut me out. The notion sent my brain reeling but my adult brain knew what it meant and I trusted that sense of duty and love that rolled off of them in and almost tangible essence. Protect was the word my sparkling programming latched on to and the smaller version of me that had been locked away so long echoed the attachment. She and the babybot had become one in the same.

"Ya," I rasped. My voice box was scratchy which seemed really weird knowing that I had a voice box and not vocal cords. A smaller hand petted my head as I heard my mothers voice.

"Your cry injured you voice box slightly little one," she supplied. That made sense I remembered pooling everything that had happened from so long ago to the recent shut out into one point within myself that narrowed to that well inside me and had made it possible to project that feeling into my cries for my parents. I hadn't known that crying for them might endanger them. The fear for their well being mixed in with the myriad of other feelings.

"We are operational sparkling," my father reassured me. "Your cry brought every Cybertronian to their knees my spark." I opened my optics wider and looked up into his face.

"Did?"

"Yes, Steel. You are the daughter of a Prime and in your time of need you used the Call of the Lost to summon us."

"What's sat?" I asked frustrated by my slurring of my words. They were in English.

"A power given to sparklings of the Prime lineage long ago by the original 13. There have only been 5 recorded instances of it being used." He stopped to let that sink in. I was floored. I had a power? NO way. I couldn't have that. They must be mistaking what I did with someone else. There is no way in pit I would have a power. "Why do you doubt you ability to have such a gift daughter?" I knew I was deep in the bonds with both parents when they could ask questions of me based on my thoughts.

"Can't," I shrugged. There were no words to describe to them why I didn't have such a power. I just knew it wasn't me. It never was. Those fairytales were meant for other people who deserved those happy endings. I knew my place in the world. I could deal with what life threw at me in fact I'd already done just that. This new chapter was just another lump to add to the collection. But even as I thought it, the whole idea lost its bite. My parents were still here with me swaddling me in their love and protection that existed within me and out. If they wanted to think I had a power that was ok with me if it made them happy.

I heard a both my parents chuckle. "Steel," my mother called to me. I turned my optics to hers. "You do command the Call of the Lost. It can only be used by sparklings in times of great need in danger of fracturing." I did recall the fact that my chest felt as though it might be ripping apart. My spark was strained so taught between my programming, my younger me and my adult mind and the fact that all my bonds were basically severed it was a wondered it didn't shatter.

A look crossed Optimus's face that was like a dark cloud that passed in front of the sun. "The soldier that was sent to watch you during the surprise attack was supposed to give you your Energon and stay with you till we were able to return." I remembered the whispered argument between Lennox and the other man vaguely.

"Didn't know" I chirped at him reverting to my sparkling language finally more myself. Optimus didn't look appeased in the slightest but he seemed to shake off the dark thoughts and mood when he looked at me and hugged me closer.

"I know sweetspark," he said with a sigh letting the last visages of his anger subside. "But he did disobey orders to 'Watch the machine' from what the surveillance video's tell us. The other soldier that didn't tell him what you were has been found also." That feeling of rolling thunder flowed across the bonds again as quick as a clap would growl in the sky and was then gone. I think he was shoving it away to make sure our bond was clear of negative emotions. Come to think about it my spark still hurt slightly but not much. But the pieces that had come apart or almost come apart felt very fragile. I shuttered.

"It's alright sweetspark," he told me curling me closer. "Your spark is whole and we will make sure it stays that way." He ran a finger around my helm and then my cheek. I looked up to him and smiled a little and then laid my head on his chest to look at my mom. I sat there and looked at her for a long time letting my processor get lost. I thought back on my human mother. She was strong. She provided for us. She was both mother and father when the need arose because my human father was a nut. But having to do everything made her hard. It was like sidling up to a iceberg sometimes. She had a stone mask that we felt more than her insides and it hurt sometimes to know that the calm presence is all we would get. Anything deeper was hidden away.

Then two blue optics came into focus so like my mothers blue eyes but not for they Elita's were more telling. With the bond I could tell she loved me but I could see the small changes in her eyes, the color and the focus when she looked at me it deepened just a little. I loved to watch her optics because they were blue like warm ocean water and her feelings had a sweet closeness to them that could turn into a raging sun if she wasn't careful, but she was. So careful to make sure that her glow didn't consume me but could be counted on to burn everything that threatened HER sparkling to a crisp. The fire directed outward was a welcome change. Even if she got a little loud sometimes. I smiled.

"Your thoughts are turbulent daughter," she whispered to me running a finger over my cheek. I smiled wider.

"Ya n No," I answered her not so forward query. Her optics were warm but clouded slightly with worry, worry for me. My fathers were also when I looked up to his. My spark ached a little less watching them a moment. I laid my head back on my Cybertronian dad's chest. "I love you mommy and daddy," the longest sentence I'd uttered made their intakes shutter for only a second and then their stilled actions that had stopped midway continued. They shared a look and then smiled.

"We could feel it so Steel, but it is the first time you have vocalized it. IT makes us very happy," he said his voice suspiciously watery for an Autobot not having the parts to do that. I snuggled into him.

"Daddy head hurts," I told him. I was pretty comfortable but some things were making themselves known finally. Without a word Ratchet came over and replaced my dad's hand on my back and the sudden intrusion of our family bond time made me squeak. He continued to pick me up.

"Relax child," he clicked at me. "I am just going to scan you for a moment then I will return you to your creators." I clicked back at him nonsense but I was kinda miffed. Apparently when sparklings were angry they dissolved into frustrated clicks and chirps that didn't really translate into anything. They were just angry babble. Ratchet just laughed as he scanned me. It was a 'isn't that cute' laugh but I wasn't impressed. Still grumbling, I was put back on top of my father's chest where he quickly returned his hand on top of my prone form. Sitting up had been hard. "Lie still sparkling," he warned gently. "Your trip through the base damaged several of your components including your hip joint, knee joint, several servo joints and some cranial pieces. Your vocal processor was damaged slightly too but it is healing. Your internal healing systems are taking care of that part but the others I had to fix. And there is the matter of your spark," the bright yellow hummer was stopped by a look over my head from my father. Suddenly Ratchet literally bowed his head which looked like in deference to Prime and turned around to see to something else.

Well that was weird. I'd never seen him do that before. The shock from my spark made Optimus' chest shake with a deep laughter. "He does listen little one," he uttered deeply still with a smile in his voice. I looked up at him questioningly and he then sighed along with my mother next to him.

"Steel," my mother started. "Your spark almost fractured." I looked to her and my father I didn't know what that meant.

"Steel," my dad tried, "if your spark had actually fractured you would have gone back to the well of sparks, my sweet one. We could feel you teetering. Bu we are glad you stayed and we still want ALL of you," he emphasized the word all and I was so grateful because while he had been talking I was becoming nervous but that one word made it all disappear like fog running from the sun. There was really nothing else to say now it could all be felt through the bonds and I was content to heal there on his chest my mother beside me.

XXX

I think they went easy on me after that for quite a while. I would ask for something and I would get it immediately. I hardly had to ask for anything really since both parents seemed to know what I wanted or needed before I even did at times. There were times I felt I was taking up to much of Optimus's time but he found time for the most important work he had to do usually during my extended sleep periods which were still longer than a usual cybertronian. I also had naps which irked me but I let the babybot programming lead my eating habits and sleeping habits. I knew that my new brain needed different things from my human one and recharge seemed to make me feel better upon wakening in the afternoon. I was told by my father that eventually those periods of napping would become less and less but it would be a while. I was content as long as it allowed him the time he needed and it helped restore my energy and processing afterward.

Ratchet was not concerned about how much recharge I seemed to need saying there were acceptable variants in different bots to account for it. He did puzzle over my affinity for human mannerisms. Yawning for one which served no purpose for Cybertronians and was even questionable in the human species. The yellow hummer also questioned me a time or two about my knowing English so well, but my dad always sidetracked him with another quirk that wasn't so obviously human or with an injury that was bothering him. I think he endured Ratchet's tender mercies for my sake several times. I loved him all the more for it. Ratchet though I liked. He was kind to me and always explained everything before he started doing it whether it be a scan or what have you. His spark felt tired at times and I wondered if anyone else felt it.

After once such visit to Ratchet after a particularly vigorous try at walking resulting in a scratched knee plate, I asked the Prime about it. "Daddy, you feel Ratch too?"

He looked down at me momentarily while walking then looked back up. "How do you feel him?" I put my hand on my chest. Optimus nodded. "I see. I don't feel him the same as you sparkling. Knowing is apart of being a sparkling and bonding with those in your pod. The need fades as you grow older and do not need the feel of you kin to guide you." I nodded but pouted. I didn't want to loose this feeling. I liked knowing how people felt. It was far more reliable than what they said and Autobots especially just felt and lived intimately with each other from such a young age. They were in each others heads, spoke, loved, and did many things internally. This sense of them helped guide that. "Don't worry my spark, it will not leave you until you are ready. It's a the knowing of the spark that also determines when those ties to pod are not as needed. They will not abandon you." I smiled at his words. He knew just what to say.


	10. Future

The attack on the base was a big sign that it needed to be moved. The higher ups decided that being on the main land was too risky. The chance of being discovered was too great and the threat of Decepticon attacking the base in a populated area was high also. Moving didn't bother me even though my parents thought it might. I knew where ever dad and mom were I'd be safe.

Soon the whole of the now labeled NEST was packing up everything to move to the secret location that was revealed to me. It was an island in the middle of the ocean near the equator. I knew it would be Diego Garcia and the top secret name echoing through the links surprised my mom and dad but after shaking their heads and shrugging it off they continued their explanation.

It was before this move that I guessed they would get the Allspark fragment from Optimus. I didn't know how much I was supposed to change things but this felt like it was maybe time to start revealing the possible future to my parents. I didn't know how I would survive three days without the radiance of my dad's spark protecting mine in its strength. I didn't think I was supposed to suffer that much in this new life. But what would the consequences be if I did?

It was in the midst of the move on the ship inside Optimus's sparkling hold the night mare gripped me. It wasn't of hurts passed, it was of future pain. It was just like watching the movie. Sam ran from Megatron and just when dad was winning that Decepticon (so aptly named) ran his sword through Optimus's chest and horrid pain sliced down the bond. There was no way to filter out the terrible stabbing without cutting off his loving and sparkfelt goodbye. The love, care protectiveness, and tenderness he shoved down the links toward me and mom was what I knew would have to sustain me for a Cybertronian lifetime and it was agonizingly bittersweet wracked with pain but glowing in the full force of his spark that suddenly sputtered and died leaving not even that residual of where he was that their battle protocols left. There was just nothing. For a moment I waited for the reconnect that must come because of course he wasn't dead. Even though this is how the movie went. HE couldn't be dead. There wasn't any way that Optimus could die in real life since this was it now.

The nothing became a black hole that threatened to suck me in with it. A sparkling in the bonding and attachment stages was apparently very vulnerable to losing a creator. I felt on the brink of that precipice again that erupted the black lava that was contained in the capped well. I could feel it threatening to erupt bubbling through the safety and love that had begun to build a bottom to that limitless chasm. I threw the walls up backing away mentally but they were still weak from disuse I couldn't harden them in time to stop that anguished distress. I could hear the Cry my parents had been trying to tell me I had. Why couldn't I have accessed it before? When he wasn't gone?

Before the power could reach my vocalizer I was in the arms of my father jumping into alertness which wasn't like waking up when human. It was like being unconscious and then suddenly thrown from a window and expected to land and go on walking as if nothing happened. I vaguely felt a hard line in my wrist that was connected to my dads and one in the other one connected to my mother. I was held between them their sparks exposed to me the light encompassing me. Everything was so surreal. I again reached for my fathers spark with one hand and to my mothers with the other. The bonds were strengthened and the blue shone through the holes in the walls that I'd erected to keep my well hidden. They retracted and my exposed self with out defenses was hit full force by their links filling the empty space with their love. It was like the whole world was that warm blue. The cap on the well never had a chance to explode outward against the force of their protectiveness. So it stayed and the power died like a raging fire being snuffed out suddenly and I felt weak. I gave an exhausted sigh through my air vents and fell into my parents's arms.

My father had me and I looked up at him then my mother. There was nothing else I could do but cry. The sobs were long and hard but no tears followed because there was no way to make them. I missed that sometimes. There was something cathartic about having them drop an outward sign there was something wrong but in this body I didn't need them because every spark in the hold of the ship could feel my distress through my bonds with my creators and the knowing. They would seek my spark to lend what comfort they could not knowing what was truly wrong but they didn't need to. The cries must have rung through several corridors because several people came to the ships hold to see what was wrong. Eventually Lennox was called I guess because at the edge of my perception I remember hearing him. It was about the time I started to get too tired to even cry. I was on empty but I didn't want anything to eat. Nothing satisfied me because nothing but my parents could fill the void and they did through the bonds and arms as they held me.

I heard the footsteps as another human seemed to stumble into the cargo hold that was big enough for everyone to stand up in. Optimus was rocking not only me but Elita in his large arms she held me against him and he rocked all three of us in a slow rhythm as he paced the length of the hold. "Good God Optimus is she ok?" Lennox tiredly addressed the mech. Prime looked down at him over me and mom.

"Will," he sighed. "I apologize for the disturbance." I could tell he wasn't apologizing for my crying just that it bothered his men.

"To the pit with that," he said crossly. "Is the baby ok?" he asked again. My father's smile was genuine. The human they trusted most besides Sam had been more worried about his child than the disturbance it caused the vessel and its men.

"She was disturbed by images in her recharge cycle," he told him quietly as I finally decided that I wasn't going to get any more comfortable until I took some Energon. Since I don't think I could regurgitate it I surrendered myself to the sippy cup and began to drink. The familiar hold in my dad's arms and my mom's chest with the sparks accessible sucking on the cup gave me a sense of déjà vu of a time safer and calmer. The peace flowed down the link. My parents who had been on alert and ridged in posture started to sag in relief.

"She has nightmares?" The human at his feet asked. Optimus nodded. "Poor kid," he uttered under his breath. "Anything I can do?" he offered. Elita looked down with a soft smile.

"No but thank you for your concern, Will," her voice floated down over my dad's arms. He nodded and with a salute he ducked back through a human door and went to calm the soldiers who were freaking out about a child's cries.

I heard the door close and just laid there with a hitch in my intakes every so often. My father leaned against a wall and slid down to the floor sitting cross-legged with Elita in his lap and I between them. My mind was a mess of flashing images along with a plethora of emotions I couldn't seem to hang on to; so I let them go. I didn't want them anyway my creators love was the only thing I needed now. Even as I thought it I knew I was allowing the sparkling programming to take over but at this point I didn't care. The full tank and comfort lulled me into a semi recharge state but the hard lines with my parents didn't allow me to go fully into recharge yet.

I was vaguely aware of what was going on. It felt like being drugged but just registering everything going on around me but not reacting to it and not caring if I didn't. I heard Ratchet come closer his spark brushing against mine stronger. I felt the comforting presence and acquiesced to the offer. "She's comfortable now," Ratchet said over my head to my father. His knees creaked as he bent down to kneel in front of him. My mother was now sitting beside my father and I was in his arms. I felt my father nod.

"The power was building Ratchet," my mech creator informed the CMO.

"Prime, she is special." I could hear the rattle of his inner workings as he either nodded or shook his head I didn't know which. "However, if she uses the Call again it could weaken her spark. If she fractures again I do not believe we will be able to save her."

"I am aware Ratchet," he sighed. His arms tightened around me pulling me closer. I gave a contented sigh and snuggled into his chest armor. "I was in recharge also when her processor started to produce the images that cut me off from her spark. They felt like battle protocols but were so much stronger. I believe she thought our link dissolved and therefore her processor perceived the loss and grief of such an event."

"She was reacting to a perceived severed bond?" he asked completely aghast at the idea. "Dear Primus, it's no surprise she would use the Call under such duress." I heard Ratchet shake or nod his head again. "Keep your spark open to her and bond clear," he instructed, "I think you can let her recharge now but both of you keep close." I felt my father nod again and the world blurred and went black. The images that had haunted my dreams earlier were banished by the blue light I was bathed in and recharge went smoothly the rest of the night or so I guessed since I didn't wake up again.

XXX

The world was in sharp focus this morning as my languid stretch wasn't answered by my father or mother who were both in recharge sitting in their root modes curled around each other and me. I smiled at both of their faces quiet but a flash in my processor reminded me of my father lying on his side his optics dark like he was now and even though the reassuring warmth of his spark wrapped around mine in our bond I reached over to his face and shook him with all my might. "DADDY!" I called in English. Morning usually was in English. His optics flared blue with alarm pulling me close to him with one arm and Elita with the same arm and his sword flare to life on his other. My optics were wide as his battle protocols were shut down.

His sword disappeared into his arm and he wrapped both arms around Elita and I. Elita who had been woken up by the grab for her had deployed her arm blade that was curved on her forearm but it was retracted quickly also as he brought both of us closer. Around us mechs and femmes mumbled in cybertronian. It was a good natured grumble that traveled around the cargo hold everyone coming out of recharge at once except for one medic that was fast asleep in the corner. The noise hasn't roused him. I figured he must have sat up extra late making sure I was ok.

Looking around I had to laugh. It struck me funny how my dad had fumbled awake swinging his sword as if there were a Decepticon on the ship. My laughter was relief and mirth in one and my creators felt their relief mix with mine as they chuckled too. My father rubbed my helm. Since I was feeling safe now, both of their spark casings closed so that they weren't vulnerable any more. He let me be for a few minutes but through the link I could tell he wanted to talk. I looked up at him and sighed but nodded. He gave Elita a quick hug and she gave us one in return and Optimus began to transform. He was in truck form and I was plopped right into his front seat before I could even think. I giggled a little as he pulled forward. He went to the lift to the top level and requested clearance to be there on the deck alone with me toward the end of the air craft carrier.

It must have been accepted because there we were at the end of the ship. He was standing and it was still night which surprised me. I must have gotten my sleep cycles all messed up with the move. IT must be a different time zone here. He looked up at the stars with me in the crook of his arm. I could see his face and the sky. Another image flashed through my mind, Sam bandaged and Optimus battered but functional standing on the edge of a similar ship looking out at the sky. I snuggled more into his pristine armor.

"These images are distressing you sparkling," he spoke the truth. He was trying to broach the subject but didn't know exactly how without setting me off. I kept my cool wrapping myself in the bonds of both creators. I nodded. I entered into the link deeper.

_**Daddy…**_

_**Yes my spark?**_

_**Future is bad**_

_**Whose?**_

_**Ours… You have Allspark piece?**_

_**You know?… Of course you do. Why?**_

_**Keep it.**_

_**But why sparkling? **_I allowed my memories of the movie to flood the link so he could see it through my eyes. I let him see Megatron rising and then slaying him. I let him see my reaction and how easy it would be to take me with him when he died. The recall of the nightmare shook both him and me. But I stayed quiet. I didn't cry out because I could feel him now. His intakes were coming hard as mine were. _**That is what prompted you to raise the power for the Call? You were beginning to shatter again. **_I nodded to him. He finally had all the pieces. The guilt and worry warred in side me. I was scared now that I'd given him this information nothing could change that fact. He couldn't react the same way he had in the movie since he knew that it would probably kill me if he died.

_**Keep it, **_I repeated. He looked stricken and felt desperate. _**It gone?**_

_**Yes my spark,**_ even as the words were spoken his comfort and love washed across the bond flooding my feelings of fear and guilt. His love was almost enough to drown them but not quite.

_**Take me,**_ I commanded him. He knew what I meant. When the time came I had to be there close enough to save him. Since the nightmare I had been thinking. I felt that power accumulating and with this imminent breaking on the horizon I think I could call on that power in time to save him probably not in time to completely stop what was to come but I could do something to stop his spark from being extinguished.

_**Sparkling there is no way…**_ I stopped that train of data with push a of determined stubbornness. There was no way in the pit that this was gonna happen I was the only wild card in this universe now and I was going to make it count. I shoved my love down the link to him and my protectiveness I felt for him. I wouldn't let this happen not when I could stop it even if it means my death he could live.

_**TAKE ME! **_I yelled down the link. He cringed a little inside and out. The Prime shook his head in resigned fondness.

_**You have the command of a Prime my sparkling. You are truly after my own spark,**_ he smiled. There was an unspoken promise to take me once the events that would put this into motion started to come to pass. I hugged him. And he hugged me back. There was a desperateness to the embrace but we ignored it and tried to put this aside to enjoy the time untainted by the future prophecy.


	11. Birthday

The years go by so quickly when you're not paying attention. It had been one full year almost to the day or so my chronometer was telling me since I crash landed on earth. It would be my birthday and NO ONE was talking about it. Come to think of it I hadn't seen anyone have a birthday. I figured it was because they were all big soldiers and stuff like that but in hind sight I could tell that wasn't it. We weren't just a army contingent with the addition of me we were femmes, mechs and child. Maybe they didn't have birthdays? Well that wasn't going to do because it escaped my notice the first few months I was there that we'd skipped Christmas but that wasn't gonna happen again. And since it was October again it was time to start new traditions that brought both races together and one was holidays but the main and ulterior reason was I wanted a damn birthday!

One of the things I remember from my life was always having nice birthdays. IT wasn't because my parents needed to buy me things but they literally celebrated when we were born and it made us feel special. It was our day and at times our week because we had more than one birthday with friends and then one with family sometimes one with each side of the family. That's like 3 birthdays spread over a week! And there was a part of me that was young and integrating into the sparkling programming and that immature, impulsive, and curious piece of me wanted to feel special. I needed them to acknowledge that that day was special to them. There had been so much craziness in this life and previous that I wanted them to want me. But no one said anything.

The bond seemed heavier a little each day that I realized they weren't going to figure it out on their own. But I didn't want to tell them. It just made me look like an attention whore and it made it not genuine to me. This created a great big catch 22 that I couldn't find a solution to. All my probability calculators couldn't take into account my feelings and so I shut them down pushing the thought away. The fact that it was felt through the bonds with my creators meant they were going to ask soon.

I had been sulking for probably two days, not outwardly but they could tell. Who couldn't tell with direct access to a sparklings soul? I felt their nudges and questions over their connections to me and I ignored them. My father who was becoming worried began a little stronger prodding. He couldn't force his way into my processor I literally at to let him in but he could push against those mental firewalls hard enough to know he wanted answers. The pushiness came from his concern and I gently brushed it away with a soft apology but no answers.

I was lying on his new desk when the nagging feeling through our link finally distracted his processor enough to look at me. I was playing with a data pad on my tummy feet up head resting on my hands. I felt his eyes and his hand covered my back. I was now four feet having gained a foot this year slowly by adding to the metal in my long struts. I leaned into his hand. "Steel?" he asked me. I knew it was coming.

"Ya?" I asked looking up at him.

"Tell me?" was all he needed to say. I sighed and shook my head. "Why?"

"I don't wanna," I said petulantly. His faceplates scrunched into an odd expression. I couldn't read it right away but it vaguely reminded me of a stern glare. I lifted my eyebrow at him. He knew that challenging me resulted in me shutting down usually into a fit once my adult anger dissolved into the sparkling fear and insecurity. We'd been maneuvering over this minefield the last year and we'd become pretty good at it. But like all people even Prime had an end to his patience and I could push them to it, rarely but I could. His eyebrows raised a little and he sighed shaking his head deciding on another way suddenly. I felt the switch in his mood.

Putting down his data pad that dwarfed mine, he picked me up and pulled me into his arms. And this was his secret weapon. This close I could feel his spark thrumming so close to mine and it called to me to sync with him. It was a call to my sparkling programming that he shamelessly used to make sure I continued to be healthy in mind and spirit and body. There was so much more he could tell when the bonds were clear and open. Syncing was second nature to sparklings but definitely not to humans. Most of the time though, I wouldn't have thought twice. The feeling was indescribable. But if I tried it was like that short time in heaven that felt like home no matter what happened I had a place and I knew it and it knew me forever. And in that place there was only you and your parents and vague impression of other sparks that cared for you.

"You are upset sweetspark," he asserted against my resistance. His voice was soft and warm. The invitation was compelling. I sighed.

"I jus don wanna dad," I whispered hanging my head. He pulled me tighter to him any way with or with out sync it felt good not be mad at.

I couldn't tell him. Not now especially knowing he'd throw me one the instant he knew. I just wanted this to be real. If he loved me he'd know right? Of course that was stupid. He could read my mind if I let him. But damn it he knew I'd been human why was it such a big leap to know I'd want a birthday? So as not to pollute the link any further I brushed the thought patterns away and snuggled into my dad thinking about all the great things he did and was. It was hard to be mad in the face of all that. But the next two days seemed long it was only two more till the anniversary of my landing or 'birth' as I'd come to think of it and there was no sign he knew or understood. The links between my parents and I were just a tad heavier than normal.

Today it seemed to be my mothers turn to try and work out what was wrong with me because she gathered me in her arms over her shoulder and took me from Optimus's office for lunch. The exchange between my parents hadn't been much but I knew they shared a quick transmission. It was hard to miss when I could connect to them as I could. The flittering felling of worry that slide between them was almost palpable. I was almost ready to just tell them so they'd stop worrying.

She carried me down the long hallway toward our quarters. She stroked my back as she walked pulling me close to her spark. The invitation was there again just like it had been with Optimus and I didn't accept. "Your troubled spark rings with ours Steel. You worry us." I sighed through my vents.

"I can't tell," I cried miserably to her as she pulled me back to view my face.

"Why?"

"Cuz," I didn't know what to tell her now. The whole situation was stupid. I was driving my parents to distraction over a stupid human thing that was long gone in another life that shouldn't even matter to me anymore. But I'll be damned if it didn't and I wanted one so bad now I could taste it. So I cried. She tried to console me then sitting down on the berth where we slept every night waiting for me to cry myself out and into an exhausted sleep that seemed to always follow the emotional outbursts. And so in a light doze something that also followed me from my human life I was lying in my mothers arms listening to the chatter in the halls of the humans who I used to be like. The only snippet I could hear was "how old is she now?" and it brought home that I was no longer human and my parents didn't think like them.

The next two days were miserable. I was sullen and withdrawn and my parents even sought Ratchet's help. He knew that stubborn sparklings had been the bane and blessing of many creators before them and would hopefully be after and that sparklings in their time let their parents back in. It was a phase he'd said. And I'd given him a cross glare which he smiled at. I stooped to sticking my tongue out at him which actually drew a chuckled. Defeated in the face of his 'isn't she cute' mode, I just sulked.

I was wallowing in my own misery I'd brought on myself. I lied restlessly on the mat on dad's desk quiet skimming a data pad feeling the tension between me and him rippling along the link in tight worried ribbons. I decided that I was being childish and that I should just tell them since it was the day of anyhow and they didn't get it on their own it served no purpose to torture us all because I was brooding over something I no longer was.

Thinking tonight was the right time to tell them lessened the tight clamp I had on our bonds and let them in more allowing them to feel my disappointment and frustration with the situation and myself mostly. My father gave me a side long glance and I shook my head sending him a mental 'later'. He nodded in answer and went back to his work. It wasn't a hour after this exchange about noonish that Lennox walked in the enormous door and looked up at Optimus.

"Hey Prime," he waved cheerfully and began the trek up the stairs to my dad's table top. He took them two at a time without getting winded. It took about a minute till he made himself comfortable next to me sitting down next to my pad on the desk as most soldiers did. I smiled at him but he could tell I was in a mood. His hand pet my head like I'd seen him do to his own child. The sensation wasn't as strong as it had been when I was human but the sense of that human touch was comforting irregardless. "I noticed," he started and looked up to my dad again, "that you guys might need a little distraction today." There was something shared between the man and my dad that I couldn't quite catch. It was strange seeing a human behave so intimately with a cybertronian both using body signals that were foreign to each but adapting and combining their knowledge to become a cohesive unit. It made me smile a little more. Optimus rose from his heavy chair with it sliding across the floor noisily.

"It seems we could Will," agreeing with him picking both of us up. In one hand he held the human and me. I held on to both Will and my dad's hand. He put an arm around my shoulders in a familial way. I smiled. I liked him. He made a good uncle or some such thing. He had my dad's back all the time and trusted us (Cybertronians) completely and had basically made Ironhide apart of his family. Annabelle loved him to pieces.

My thoughts had been distracted as we walked toward the rec room. As the door opened a flood of colors overwhelmed my senses and when I could finally tell what it was one popped bringing with it a loud "Surprise" from a group of humans at my dad's feet and from Will in his hand. My mouth plates hung open like I'd never seen any of the colors spheres in the air. Balloon, my mind supplied. They had balloons. And a banner with "happy birthday Steel" and streamers and even cake someone had made for the humans. I couldn't eat it any more but I didn't care. And I threw myself into Will's arms letting the forced closure on my bonds to stream free. My father grunted along with will from the emotional borage.

Will had a four foot sparkling tackling him in the hands of a large mech and managed to pat me on my back before I realized I might hurt him. I pulled back and looked at him. I could have cried if I'd just been human but he caught my look of uncensored gratitude and he hugged me and I carefully hugged him back. "Happy Birthday Steel," he said with a smile and laugh. My father put him down then, and looked into my optics.

"This is what you wanted sparkling?" I hung my head and nodded. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked confounded by the whole situation. I sent him images of birthdays past and how it felt to be special and loved but how fake it felt when you had to remind people. He let out a sigh hugging me. Through the synced bonds he let me know how much I was wanted and loved, _**Sparkling from now on this day will be celebrated with great joy as this Birthday you had when you were human. You are loved we don't want you to feel removed from your previous life if it brings you happiness.**_

My mother's link echoed his words, _**We will continue to celebrate for all your years on this planet and others my daughter.**_ And my bond synced with hers also. I was taken aback by how much they loved me again and in the aftermath how much apart of the family the humans had become. They accepted me like my human family had long ago. For better or worse there had been good times in the bad. They'd loved me as they could but this reminded me how much humans could love. Even though I existed with the Cybertronians as one of them this made me miss my humanity just a tad. But nothing beat the feeling of being wrapped in your parents spark after a day of party games, friends, family, and birthday fun.


	12. Absence

A few months passed after my birthday and the newly amassed fighting unit now labeled NEST was dispatched on its third mission. Optimus hadn't gone because of the adjustment period with me but it was becoming obvious that he needed too. The injuries were more severe than I remember them being. It was a responsibility I began to feel. He didn't go because of me and they needed his firepower. The fact that I'd been her a year was starting to weigh on his decision to go or stay. A year was far beneath the bonding and adjustment period that usual sparklings required but he was learning I was no average sparkling. My needs varied. At times our sparks were completely is sync and clear bonds. But there were other times that they seemed to be distant and muddy due to human expectations and prior abuse.

He knew though that me recovery from these occasional creator sparkbond disruptions was becoming incrementally quicker. My spark memory and my CPU was starting to rely on the fact that my mother and father were going to be there as a permanent fixture in my life. I was half grown just not like a teenager. I was half adult and half child in the same body. The constant feeling he got when he went to make the decision to go or stay flashed through my spark. It was really no choice for him. I was more important and surprisingly the others felt the same way. When he told Ironhide or Will that he would stay they didn't question it and even when I brushed against their sparks or asked them outright they'd pet my head and hold me close with a reassuring smile or a warm spark or both and tell me not to worry and that sparklings were more important. It was a sentiment told to me again and again.

I don't know why I couldn't believe. I'd believed it with my own children but no one had used such logic when it came to me. I sighed sitting on my mat as there was another report of Decepticon activity on a different continent this time. It was the fourth. I was just a tad taller than four feet maybe an inch or two. My mat was still long enough for me but I could stick my toe out and tap the metal desk much to my dad's good-natured exasperation. He constantly kept me in the loop especially since he knew I could tell what was going on and I'd given him valuable insight in to the human way of thinking during his meeting briefings which I went to sometimes in his sparkling hold.

It was one of those times he had sent a report to my data pad I was reviewing it and my toe was tapping on his desk. A large finger came down to touch my ped and stop the thudding sound. The contact made me look up at him with a bashful smile. "You do that when your in deep thought sparkling," my father told me. I shrugged. He could tell I'd been thinking things that he wasn't happy with. My thoughts about my self and my situation usually unsettled him a bit. He always sent a powerful surge of love and protectiveness toward me that nearly sent me reeling every time. He wanted to wipe those things from my mind and find the people who'd caused them all at once. It was anger on my behalf and it was awe inspiring and it felt like a piece of love I'd never been exposed to and the vibrant echos it left in the bond kept me comforted for long after they faded.

After the surge of feelings he sent to me I sighed again and just gave up hiding it. "I don't wanna keep you here," I whispered. My sentences had gotten longer but my programming hadn't grown up all that much.

He looked down at me and without hesitation said, "You don't." That baffled me.

"I don't?"

"Sparkling, I am old. I am well past the point of needing someone to make my decisions. I am a Prime above all. I was not always as I am but I have grown into the position. I make the decisions to stay or to go for the benefit to all including you. Sparklings in general not only you are precious. In the Autobots innocents comes before soldiers. We live and die by this." The tone he had was not condescending or lecturing. It was just emphatic and rang with a deep truth that resonated with his spark and his very being. I looked up at him for a moment not as a dad but as a Prime. It was a powerful glimpse into him and I knew then he wasn't just father but he was a leader. He felt my awed reverence and smiled at me and rubbed a hand over my helm. "Yes my daughter, I am a leader, but your father also." He picked me up and cuddled me to him as much as a giant being of metal could. "My love for you and your mother is the brightest light in this dark war." I snuggled into his chest plates.

"Ok," I sighed happily. What else could I say to a declaration of love like that? I did however, send him my love and gratitude. It was a while until he put me back on my pad and I was again reanalyzing the data on my screen. The plan to confront this new Decepticon threat was in the works already. It seemed big but not as big as that last one they would face before the whole Fallen shit started. I shook my head. Each encounter put us closer to that deadline. It made me nervous. It looked like he was gonna need to go this time. He hadn't made his decision yet. But the amount of time he'd be away from me I knew was always a crucial factor. This current target zone was in Britain of all places.

The activities were around Stonehenge something I knew that had been around a while and might have had significance to a alien race. I remember my dad telling Lennox they were looking for something. It didn't occur to me until just now that they'd been looking for the matrix the whole time. The nearing of the events that were destined to happen made me shake inside. I knew that even though he'd promised me he'd take me there would be an struggle of wills I had to win. I remembered briefly the muted desolate sadness when I'd seen his spark snuffed out on the movie screen and the tears it brought. My body shook. The comforting hand on my back and the warmth in the bond pushed away the frosty reminder of his death onscreen.

"You needa go," I told him. He looked at me and pondered it.

"You are probably right little one," his voice was deep with regret. "You cannot come." he said still holding his hand over my form.

"I know," I answered him. He pulled me to his chassis and my mother came shortly after and was pulled into his arms as he sat back in his chair holding us both.

"I have made it clear I am needed on this run," he began, "on the contingent that the transportation be swift." I nodded into his chest plates hoping it would be quicker than I knew it was gonna be. My mother wrapped her arms around me and squeezed just a little. Her warmth made the chill inside my spark warm. He wasn't going for two more days but the thought of him leaving for the first time was nerve wracking.

XXX

As the plane left the runway I cried in my mothers arms. Elita held me tightly and rubbed my back crooning to me. It was the first time I had been apart from the mech in over a year. He was everything next to my mother. He was everything not only to me but to the whole Autobot contingent, and the world, though they didn't know it yet. The plane got farther away and I found that the bond between him and I felt stretched but not broken or muted. I took a small comfort in that. He poured his love down the link worrying also. He didn't know how I'd recoup from this break in bonding period but the chance of casualty was too high to ignore the need. As much as I wanted everyone to come back in one piece I just wanted my daddy back.

My mother and I watched the sky long after even our optics could see the plane but she couldn't bring herself to move me yet. Eventually, I stopped crying long enough to fall in to a slight recharge in Elita's arms. I could feel the worry for me echo between my creators sparks, but the babybot in me was left grasping her fingers after my fathers retreating back like an infant. I let that loss rule my spark because the instinct to mourn the separation was too great. Even as an adult I didn't want him far for fear the only stable male figure in my life from the last one to this would be gone before I could blink. Cybertronians lived a long time but they weren't immortal.

My recharge was restless and I dreamed abhorrent images that displayed corpses of my new family before my eyes. The snippets I did remember upon awakening several times in the night were horrifying. I'd seen the burnt metal and singed Energon coagulated on the black and charred armor like thick dark blue blood. The battles that had happened previous to this fourth one hadn't been without injuries. Ironhide had taken the brunt one time and Sideswipe the next. It hadn't been too close a call but transforming to come home had been out of the question. My father had carried me into the medbay with him not wanting to leave me alone I'd seen the damage first hand. He hadn't wanted to expose me to such horrors and many times he thought I'd been in recharge but I'd peeked. Ratchet had just about had a fit the first time he brought me but he bowed to his knowledge of what I could take and see as my mech creator even though he continued to mumble about daft primes.

I got up extremely early the next morning sensing that my father was riding into a situation that was going to require him to activate his battle protocols. He had his spark centered on us but his CPU on the battle to come. It was only an hour later I felt that flood of his spark close off to a trickle and then just a vague pulsing in a general direction that was north east of where my femme creator and I sat. I had been taking my Energon for the morning and when I felt the clamp come down and the wall come up I threw my sippy cup so hard it left a dent in the metal wall. The liquid went flying out over the head of several humans and the two short twins. I remember my cries that even echoes in my head as eerie but they were what my spark felt and there was no other way to express the desolation that encompassed the bond.

Ignoring the flung cup my mother sat on the floor curling around me with her body syncing with my spark which I did immediately allowing her warm spark to comfort and protect mine. The pain that was sharp and throbbing was eased to a dull ache in the wake of her love. The radiance she emitted I realized just now had been hidden by my fathers spark. But her's on its own was hot like the sun but tempered like I stood on a beach in the shade with a breeze. While my fathers was power personified restrained and gentle her's was warmth. The frosty spaces that his void left her spark warmed. It wasn't perfect but in this instant I finally realized how sparklings lived through the breaking of one parent if the other lived. It as because although tame the fire in my femme creators spark would be bright enough to keep my spark and hers alive if it called for it.

But I was no ordinary sparkling and Optimus was no ordinary mech. Elita was powerful and a good balm for the battle protocols but I knew that if he died I would too. My tenacious spark bond with him was intertwining and binding. It was for with her also but it was necessary for my survival unlike many spark parenting bonds who were equal with both creators. This fact saddened Elita but did not make her jealous the bonds were a design of Primus and his will was unquestionable. So even now she lay there in the middle of the floor curled around me in the middle of the rec room floor her concentration turned inward. I vaguely felt us being carried and registered that gawd awful color of Ratchet's. His arms were large and the door that hissed open wasn't that of our quarters but that of the medbay. He placed me and my mother on a berth and connected a hardline to my wrist along with my mother. And there we lay not recharging but not completely awake either just existing inside the warmth of her spark until it was safe to come back.

It had been a long time I knew before there was any change in status of my father. It had been a long battle but the feelings flooded my spark suddenly. Elita sat upright with me in her arms. Ratchet was already at her elbow with a new sippy cup he'd fashioned during our "spark synced coexistence" or so he called it. I let out a loud cry of relief even though the stings from his scratches and the aches of his dents and the throbbing of his injuries to systems bled through. It was just so good to feel him again in my spark and in my mind. If he had been close enough to sync with I would have dove into his spark with abandon. However the bond was open and strong and my spark was in sync with my mothers warmth that was again dwarfed by my father's powerful flood.

He was tired but grateful that I was intact at least spark and body. He knew it would be a rough couple of days or weeks when he got back but he and his Autobots were relatively unscathed and everyone was alive. The ride back to the planes only took a few minutes and they were in the air shortly after that. Somewhere in my mind I registered that the speed at which the military normally moves isn't that swift but knowing the clout my father held it was moved for him. I could feel him get closer with every mile and even though it was hours till they would get back my femme creator and I went up to the landing strip to wait. I was finally able to take Energon without becoming whipped up into such a frenzy that I would pitch the cup as we waited. My warning lights had come on hours ago that I was very low but the hazy trance my mother and I had been in was all encompassing. I had a feeling Ratchet would have been tube feeding me sooner or later if we hadn't come out of it anyhow.

And several hours passed while my mother rocked me in the midday balmy heat as we waited for the plane. I didn't mind the weather because to us it was vaguely warm and the humidity was inconsequential. Long after my Energon was gone I held the cup sucking on the tip taking comfort in the instinct that had come to the surface since being reborn. The sky was a perfect blue that reminded me only of my dad's deep blue optics. If I stared at it long enough I could see his face staring back at me. The ocean's breeze faintly flowing over my metal alloy felt like the exhaust of his vents when he held me close. Eventually the buzz of something far off but getting closer began to melt into the beat of his spark pulse.

I didn't know when I'd succumb to recharge but I found myself in the arms of my father rocking me under the dark blue of a midnight sky with only the pinpoints of light to see by. My spark had synced with his the instant he's taken me from my mom and had slept through it. My sparkling body had been trying to collapse into recharge all day and upon knowing he was ok and on his way home it promptly did so. I looked up at him with his tarnished armor marred with dents, dings and scratches. I could even see some singed pieces. I grabbed him around the neck burying my face plates in his crying. Holding me to him he petted me softly murmuring reassuring things to me through the bond and in my audio sensors. My mother I sensed off to the right of him close enough to offer her support and love but letting us reconnect. Her small hand joined his on my back.

"Yes my spark, I am back," he told me in a deep rumble.

"Hurt!" I cried into his neck.

"Not badly Steel. I am next on Ratchet's "list" sweetspark." I nodded and still cried in relief. It was then he decided to start the walk to the medbay ever so slowly. I could tell with a little bit of smugness he was dragging his feet trying to put it off. The audacity and ridiculousness of the whole scenario made me suddenly start laughing. If he was well enough to prolong the walk to medbay he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. He was whole enough to delay Ratchet's "tender mercies" and the cannon nature of the action felt comfortable. He hugged me and chuckled with me sensing why I had suddenly started laughing. My mother's light giggles joined ours as we made our way toward the medbay with no more excuses to continue to ditch the CMO.


	13. Fear

It had been only a week since Optimus's return from the mission in the England. The distress caused by the separation wasn't mended as quickly as he or I had anticipated. There was a damaged sparkling programming that resulted from my own self merging with it that left the fact that I had been without him for almost a day and a half in deficit. My sleep cycles were completely thrown off and the nightmares were hideous. I awoke at least three times a night destructing not only myself but both my parents as well. Neither seemed to be getting much recharge but at this point in time when I wasn't really getting at all, I was beyond caring.

I was the biggest brattiest pain in the ass that I could be at this point. Nothing made me happy. And it wasn't for a lack of trying on my parents part. Bitter pieces of me took joy in the fact that my dad was as miserable as I was. It was his fault after all HE LEFT.

The joy that had been there the day he got back quickly had slid into an overwhelming sense of unease. Preparing myself for the next break in feeling or the next shut out was becoming a twisted sort of affair strangling my bonds with animosity and bitterness born of men in organic skin. Mechs did what they had to do to protect their pod and friends. But this emotion that kept in from my battered psyche wasn't anything that the two of the Autobots had been up against.

I felt rotten on the inside the nicer they were to me the more I turned from them feeling unworthy. But the inside of my spark died a little every time I did so. I wanted to turn into their warms sparks and pretend that there was nothing wrong but the breaks in bonding time had interrupted something essential. The discontinuity in contact and connection had awakened feelings of abandonment long since thought quelled. And now my angry sullen mood sent disturbing ripples down the links to my mech and femme creators.

My father was now unreliable and through him my mother who had kept me together through his absence. But she was an extension of him in this universe. I think that is why I had accepted her so readily because the were so connected in my mind. So they were in good and bad. This current attitude problem wasn't completely borne of my lack of sleep and distrust, but the plan to use it to test my relatively new parents was. So my test had been the last week consisting of my grumpy, displeased, bratty, unpredictable, irrational, and crazy behavior that bordered on self-dysfunction as I refused to even eat for a full day. Something would make them break and reject me and then I'd know for sure. It always happened that way if you pushed someone far enough they'll eventually dump you like a hot rock. And right now I wasn't worth even that.

But even as there little time in recharge began to affect their systems and lead to them breaking down and taking turns with me while one slept and the other stayed with me in another room they continued to care for me. The guilt ate at me and the temper tantrums that resulted in the conflicting emotions were monumental. The day before had seen me in the medbay in forced stasis for a short period for a tube feeding that wasn't on my schedule. The medic had been worried that the whole situation hadn't started to resolve itself yet. In fact I was stepping it up a notch. It was easy to do seeing my sleep was so off now that the short naps were even haunted by the dreams.

I think the dreams were sent to punish me for what I was doing to them. They were bad. Death was the uniting factor. I'd lost my normalcy and family I'd built in the human world so suddenly that I hadn't had a chance to miss them. I was glad were safe in heaven but I missed them a lot especially the human male who had treated me like I was a princess and worth something, my husband who had been everything. I dreamed of their death that had been so fast and merciful and the death of those Cybertronians that had come before me that I had a connection to now. I dreamed of the deaths in the transformer movies that I'd seen on screen. They were real now and it lent whole new level or horror to the scenario. But the dreams of my father and mother dieing were the worst. I didn't know if having them leave me before that happened would hurt me less than loving them so intimately and counting on them and having Primus rip them from me. This way I could control it. I'd find that they weren't worth it any way and I would spare myself the torture to come.

Now in its 8th day and my third fit of the day my father rocked me back and forth singing an old Cybertronian lullaby. His voice never wavered and his look never angry. How could someone have so much damn patience? The thought was aggravating and it only lent to my fit. I'd thought I'd had a grip on the links the last few days but the fatigue had limited my abilities to mask my intention and feelings. I didn't know how much he knew but I was going to make damn sure I outlasted him. His eyes looked down at me and finally FINALLY the great Optimus Prime in the privacy of a spare room while my mother took a turn to recharge he fell to his knees with me in his arms.

The sudden movement scared me into silence. In his large arms that held me so tenderly to him close to his spark he looked exhausted as he said to me in a tired vocalization. "What is it you wish daughter? Is there nothing on this planet or any other I can do or get or produce to quell your fear?" I was still for a long time. Everything inside me froze. My father was on his knees begging and infant what he could do to help them? Was that what it was that fueled me? The dreams made me scared. Him being away made me scared. His future abandonment of me scared me... These thoughts I couldn't stop from leaking through the bond. I was so close to his spark. The only time I felt the power inside him rise up and flow down the link toward me in a flood like a damn had broken. The words in my mind were loud and echoed in his booming voice, _**NEVER, I would never abandon you! I would rather the unmaker come and take my spark than leave you ever. NOTHING not even death will keep me from you sparkling, steel, my daughter. Primus has seen fit to bless me with you. YOU ARE MINE! **_His spark flared in intensity and our bond was pushed open and the truth of his words along with the love and possessive responsibility he had for me was bared in all its power.

In that instant I knew why he was Prime. I felt him in all that glory he had earned during the millennium of being a prime and it was magnificent to behold. He was like a piece of Primus or God as I'd known him before. Looking into his eyes I knew he meant every word and he'd move heaven and earth to make it happen. The fear that had been provoking the testing behavior and the lack of sleep that had formed the half cocked idea were wiped away in that waterfall of blue light that lit the darkness that had engulfed my emotions. The next thing I knew I was syncing with his spark and my mothers as she came in from the other room their sparkcasings open to me and mine pulsing with theirs in unison. It was then that recharge overtook my horrendously overtaxed systems and I fell into a deep recharge uninterrupted by nightmares.

XXX

It was many hours later at least 12 that I woke up in the arms of my mech creator who had my femme creator leaning against him both propped up against the wall where I'd finally slipped into sleep. I didn't move much as I looked up at him his optics off and his face peaceful. I looked over at my mothers face also slack and without tension. I could tell through the connections that they were still in deep recharge and their systems were healing from the lack thereof. I felt guilty but I couldn't muster the energy to really get in a good sulk. I was to content. The clear and consistent feeling of my parents sparks synchronized with mine in an pure bond was refreshing after a week of hell. Snuggling down I dozed in their arms not wanting to move for a few more hours.

It was my tanks calling to me in the form of HUD flashing lights that roused me again fully. But before I even said anything my father was up and moving. Gracefully he got to his feet pulling Elita with us. He was making a B-line for the medbay I could tell. I knew I didn't have to ask for breakfast because it was coming.

Ratchet met us at the door with a cup full of Energon for me. He looked down at me over my dad's arms. He smiles softly and put a finger on my helm. I smiled back at him feeling rested and comfortable especially now that I had something to eat. "Hey there sparkling," he crooned to me. His spark brushed up against mine. I answered it with a happy brush of my own. "Finally," he said venting in relief. "What did you do?"

My father looked at Ratchet, "Collapsed," he chuckled. Ratchet gave him an odd look. "Let us just be thankful that the crisis is over my friend," he said patting him on the shoulder. Ratchet gave him a long glare but saw he seemed to be well recharged. He scanned all three of us.

"Very well," he said uncertainly. "It seems you are all in functioning order. Even your fussy femme." He smiled at me. I stuck out my tongue back. He laughed. I would have rolled my optics had they been able too. I just couldn't be angery right now all the fear and anger was gone for now at least with my fathers declaration. It took the fire out of my bite and the wind from my sails but I was just happy to be right now.

My father nodded to him then looked down to me as I took my sippy cup. He held it between two fingers and fed me as I held on to it also. The feeling made me feel small again like it had the first time. The large alien that fed me was so enormous even to this body, but I knew I was safe, not only physically but there was nothing I could do to turn him from me. The revelation made him smile wider at me. "Yes, Steel, you are mine," he repeated. I smiled around the cup.

XXX

Two months passed between my meltdown and the next attack. My father went again. The fallout when he got back home this time wasn't as severe. The nightmares were the worst part of the separation but they soon subsided and life went on as usual. I spent days on my dad's desk or with my mother on monitor duty. I enjoyed going in my dad's sparkling hold to meetings with the United States military or government. There was on instance that the meeting was running really a long time and I couldn't wait to eat any longer. He wasn't going to make me uncomfortable to make a bunch of dumb-ass politicians happy.

Because he had to go to this meeting early he left me to sleep in his sparkling hold while the meeting started. Many of these meetings I had awakened to in the months since he started to go to them in person. He also would give me a rundown over the link and then ask for my perspective. The thought an alien would ask for my humble opinion on things that affected two worlds and not just ours was surprising to me. But every time I went he did so. He knew that my used to be human brain had ways of thinking that he didn't and he put a lot of stock in my evaluations of what was going on and what was said. My favorite game was to take what they were saying and translate it into English rather than governmentese. He would chuckle inwardly while keeping straight face plates outwardly.

It was in one of these meetings that I'd woken up to late as usual and he'd given me the rundown on what had happened so far. It was the usual bullshit "Oh my god, there was so much damage. What are we gonna do? Why are they still here? Why couldn't you _(fill in the blank) to minimize damage?" How could they not see that there were giant robots fighting? Dumbasses. My adult min during these times was always active and usually incredulous at the stupidity that reigned in the government. I sighed as they rambled on. They never said anything new really just seemed to ask the same questions different ways. The thing they always hinted at was that my dad should share their technology with them which he ignored or rebuffed politely.

This meeting however was way passed my feeding time which normally was about 8ish. It was going on 9. _**Daddy...**_my mental voice was slightly whiny but not to much. I was feeling the affects of not having Energon in a timely manner. My father stood up suddenly. The whole room jumped at his sudden movement. I laughed inwardly and he prodded me over the bond. "I'm sorry gentlemen. I have a matter that needs my immediate attention," he told them with a bow of his head. One man stood up.

"Is it an attack?" he asked pointedly.

"No, but it's important I see to it now."

Before he could step the man said, "Short of an attack that NEST deals with, we require you attendence at THIS meeting. What could be so important that you would need to make such a hasty exit?" Optimus eyebrow plates creased downward in an expression that was not happy. The man stepped back a step. Not wanting to wait any longer though he turned from the prying eyes and allowed his chestplates to open enough for me to roll into his hands and closed them. Turning, he held me in his arms the sippy cup between to fingers he removed form subspace feeding me. He sat down as if he hadn't been in the middle of a world leaders meeting and contentedly fed me. The government officials around the table seated at the Autobot's waist all began to get up and walk over to him to see just what he had. Many were slack jawed as the looked over his arm. He lowered them just enough to give them a peek as I took my breakfast. Looking from the Prime to me they were mostly speechless. There were a few murmurs.

"A baby?" one said. I looked over at him and he looked familiar I think he was Moorshower. I pushed the cup away from me for a little and waved.

"Moorshower," I squealed trying to role into a sitting position. Optimus shook his head and smiled. The man looked up at him in shock.

"It can talk?"

"She," Optimus corrected gently.

"She?" Moorshower just stood there. Many of the others were completely at a loss. "Well, I'll be..." he let the word hang in the air. I giggled.

"HI!" I waved. I got a few back. The general from the movies moved closer than the others and dared to put a hand out. I let him touch my arm and then touch his.

"Hi there," he said back tentatively. Optimus was watching the exchange intently. "How old is she Optimus?"

"An earth year and a half," he said approximating appropriately as humans did.

"She is so small," Moorshower said. I looked up at my dad and waved my hand for my cup which he gave me and I drank from it leaning back against his chest now sitting in his hand. He'd placed me there when the general had come closer.

"That she is," my dad answered.

"Whats her name?"

"Steel," I said for myself. He looked at me.

"What a pretty name," he said and smiled.

"Thak u" I slurred my speech just a bit to give it that toddler quality. I could speak longer sentences but the old general needed the baby in me more. The smile on his face was priceless.

"Well Prime, I see your pressing business. I think all of us would be pressed not to attend to this darlin." Optimus chuckled.

"So you can see my plight," he said to the general mostly but the others nodded also. "I will be taking my leave then so she can continue her feeding. She will nap afterward." To give his words merit I yawned for effect. A few of the politicians had that awww look. I could really milk it when I wanted to. My father prodded me over the bond again. I laid back in his arms and let him bring the cup to me again and I began to finish. He stood up with out so much as another word from the others and left the room. The rest of the feeding was quiet in a neighboring office with a happy smile on both our faces.


	14. Conflict

It was inevitable as it is in any parent child relationship. The fact that my will was mature somewhat and in sync with my parents most of the time helped it not happen yet. But the inevitability of our first large scale contest of wills was now upon us. And it all started so simply…

It had been a good day to wake up in the middle of ANOTHER meeting. I got the data packet from my dad and caught up quickly. I rolled over to look toward the slight crack of where the light of his spark flickered into the dark space. They were reviewing some of the aspects of the Autobot Cooperation Act. They were constantly ragging on that piece of secret legislature. Currently one of the men in the room was saying, "If the Decepticon threat is as bad as you say then we would benefit from your technology…"

My dad cut him off with a weary tone, "We have already discussed this, and the points in the Act are final." I felt the disappointment in his spark at the human who kept coming back with different reasons for humans "needing" their weapons technology. "We have already given you an artifact that was recovered from the battle in Mission City as a good will offering. That is the extent of our willingness to expose your race to any more danger than has already been done." The other voice was still quiet not wanting to push my dad any further. He took a little bit of smug pride in that. I giggled inwardly.

_**Don't scare um to bad**_ I reminded him in our link. I felt him chuckle to me.

The talking continued even as he asked me, _**Are you ready to awaken sparklet?**_ I nodded knowing he'd feel the motion and the affirmation in my bond. _**You need to eat my daughter, you have slept later than usual**_.

_**But it was so much fun with the twins…**_I giggled again. He would have shaken his head if he wasn't engrossed with other people at the moment.

_**The humans are long winded this morning. But I brought your cup with us.**_ I nodded at this. It seemed I'd be exposed to another set of leaders not that it bothered me. I hoped that the exposure to a baby cybertronian would relate us more with my former race. Then something caught his full attention before he had a chance to interrupt the meeting.

"…and there had been talk of the new Cybertronian that had joined your ranks. But there has not been many details. We would like to know the capacity of this mech…" Optimus interrupted him mid sentence.

"Femme," he interjected.

"What?" he looked up at Prime even sitting on this large desk that they had positioned for Optimus and the people he met with they still had to look up.

"Not a mech. She's a femme."

"Alright," he said in a baffled tone looking for all the world like 'why the hell does it matter', "the details on the femme are hard to come by many who have the information are tight lipped about the new arrival." Optimus smiled. I could feel the glow in his spark.

"That is because she is very special," I felt the warmth in his voice through our link and I smiled back.

"Special? What does that mean? Is she powerful? Or something we haven't seen before?" Optimus chuckled at this line of questioning. Both were true but would give the man a totally false sense of the truth.

"She is force to be reckoned with and you have never seen anything like her before." The laughter could be heard in his deep mirthful voice.

"I don't see how this could be at all funny, Mr. Prime. Keeping such secrets and giving elusive answers are not apart of our cooperative plan…" the tone was warning and frustrated but he had just stepped in no man's territory. You don't wanna threaten daddy's family that's a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiig no no. His optics narrowed at the man I could feel his sudden shift in mood. The anger that broiled under the surface was controlled but powerful.

"Our secrets are ours to keep if it is in the interests to protect our families _MR. Secretary_," he spat his name like a bad word, "And my answers are not vague or an effort to evade your questions. I answer what truth I can in good conscience and divulge what information that which is mine to give and nothing more or less." He stared at the suddenly contrite man who was now pinned under the awesome power of the leader of the Autobots.

"Y…Yess of course Mr. Prime. I didn't intend to offend you…" he stuttered. Thoroughly chastised he sat down.

"Now," my dad said in a lighter tone. "If you would care to meet our newest addition, she needs energon." Many of the men looked toward the large door that the Autobots entered through. But Morshower just watched Optimus as a few small plates moved around allowing me a small path out onto his palm. His other hand was reaching in a side subspace pocket for my cup full of Energon. I clicked a happy chirp up at him and suddenly I had 12 eyes on me from the six men in the room. Rocking back on his hand I took the cup and sat back against his chest plates looking out watching the men's faces.

"Holy SH…" one started.

Optimus stopped him cold, "Don't!" he called. Even I jumped along with all the others. "My apologies," he said after. "She picks up on all manner of language. She is especially sensitive to expletives." As he finished I laughed. I really did like throwing him off with those. I usually saved it for situations that needed a good shake up though. This was not one of those. The shock though of his booming voice had shaken me a little and he put his hand down to rub my back with a finger.

In cybertronian I spoke, "Scare the tar outta me Dad! Primus!"

He replied in kind, "Sorry my spark," but there was a chuckle in his vocalizer. I gave him a dower look, which he just smiled at. Meanwhile the humans recovered.

"Mr. Prime is that a…?" The long thin youngish looking man didn't know what to call me.

Another spoke up, "A minibot?" He was the secretary of something a short fat man with glasses. Morshower almost guffawed from his side of the table. He seemed to be enjoying this. So much of the time they were so high and mighty for such a tiny race but they were right now in awe and totally thrown off their game. I tapped my dad's hand with my foot and he put me on the table reading my intention through my bond with him. I'd mastered walking some time ago but sometimes it was more exhausting than crawling, so short distances were usually on my hands and knees.

He carefully set me down and let me roll to my knees even as I kept my cup in my hand. I saw Morshower and smiled. I slowly crawled over to him knowing he was safe. He was a family man after all. I clanked my cup all the way to his chair and then pulled my self up with his help. "Morshower," I smiled.

"May I Optimus?" he asked with his hands on my underarms. He nodded and I was pulled with surprising strength into his lap. I straightened out and sat forward looking out over the room from his desk. I caught every wide eye.

"My God it's a baby?" one of the secretaries recoiled in surprise. I couldn't tell if it was that or disgust. Morshower put his arms around my midsection as I rocked a little in his unfamiliar lap.

"Not a baby!" I cried suddenly. I was way passed a baby and quite frankly didn't want EVERYONE on the planet to call me one forever especially when I wasn't THAT much shorter than him. The outburst made the other five men jump again but not from surprise but the shrillness of the sound.

"Yes, Yes," the general at my back soothed. "You're a big girl. You've grown since I saw you last!" His attempt to make me feel better cheered me up but not for the same reason the outside might have thought. He was treating me like I was a normal child of the wrong age but normal none the less. The insult of being called a baby was dwarfed in that realization. I turned and smiled at him.

"You have babies?" one man almost squeaked. Apparently they hadn't thought about THAT part of our society. The guns to them were all we were about.

"We do have sparklings yes. We thought the ability to have them again was lost with the Allspark but apparently Primus has seen fit to at least bless us one more time." And with that he left it up to their imagination. I don't think any of them was brave enough to ask.

None of the men looked overtly friendly but there was at least one other man in the room that wasn't glowering at the situation, me or my dad. He seemed quiet but thoughtful. It was at this point Morshower patted my back. "Ok big girl, Why don't you go on back to dad?" That was his subtle kind way of saying 'good lord you're a heavy bot get off my poor frail organic self'. So I let him help me down and I slid down to the floor but instead of going to him I went to the other guy directly across the table.

"Steel," Optimus called. I ignored him. I could read the humans face. He just needed a small push and this might just be it. He reached out to take me when I sped up and he didn't dare move faster for fear of scaring the humans. He heard me laugh and the game of chase started. He reached one more time but I was too close to the other man to grab.

Smiling at the man I pulled myself into a standing position on the back of his chair and he turned in it to look at me. "HI!" my loud greeting caught him off guard and he jumped but smiled.

"Hey there," he said back. My father watched intently. He knew what I was up to but didn't completely agree with my tactics. He didn't want to expose me to humans out of his circle of friends that had a chance of reacting badly to the situation or the idea of having a baby Cybertronian. He basically didn't want anyone to hurt me because he knew their capacity for evil after what they'd done to Bumblebee. But this was worth the risk. To me any way.

The man had brown eyes almost orange and he stared intensely back at me. "What's your name?" he asked me then answered his own question, "Steel right?" I nodded. "Nice to meet you Steel," he said holding out his hand to shake. I put mine out and shook his. I made an effort to not crush his hand.

"Name?" I queried back with a tilt of my head.

"John," he answered. "Who's your mom and dad?" he continued conversationally. I pointed behind him. He paled a bit but looked at Optimus and the Prime smiled at him reassuringly. I took a drink of the Energon in my cup and that brought his attention to my small sippy cup. He looked at it and a possessive feeling came over me from where I didn't know. The baby programming had some strange ways of asserting itself.

"Mine!" I said out of no where with a scowl.

"STEEL!" Prime called to me in a stern tone but not to loud. I shrunk back and was immediately sorry. I could feel the disapproval radiating down our link. My face was heart broken. He'd never used that tone with me before. The man actually started laughing but I wasn't in a playing mood any more. I sat down on my backside and looked up at him.

"Sorry…" I said contritely and close to crying. Optimus reigned in his negative reaction to the situation and let acceptance and love wash over me inside. It cooled the sting of his reprimand. But I was not inclined to immediately lean into it either. He'd yelled at me in front of strangers no less! My adult mind rebelled against the thought that I'd just been admonished like a child. But the babybot in me was crying out for Prime's approval and sorry I'd snapped at the human. Some times it was so confusing. This reaction had Optimus getting up out of his seat.

"My daughter has not eaten yet fully and needs some time to rest. Please, excuse me." My father got up and came around the table and plucked me up under my arms and to his chassis. I could see Morshower and the man chuckling at the whole situation and the others were walking toward the man I'd been talking to probably to grill him on the experience. Stupid humans. But I had other things to worry about like my dad.

I wasn't happy. And in a side office to the large one where the people from the government came to talk to dad he put me down on a table and looked at me. I was close to crying still but I couldn't decide from anger or being sorry. "You called me loud!" I yelled at him. I really didn't care if anyone heard me.

"You were not being kind," he said evenly. This made me angrier. The whole outburst had been an accident. I didn't even know I was gonna say it till it was out. But it was mine. That made me mad to. Why couldn't I tell him it was mine? Our link was overrun with emotions that were almost searing us. The pain was not as bad as I imagined fighting with him would be but I had a feeling he was buffering me from the worst. But this was something we had to have out.

"Embarrassed me!" I yelled back.

"You did so yourself," was his reply. It was true but I didn't want to hear it. I think he caught wind of my baby instincts proving to be bothersome and his eyebrow plates lowered a little in confusion. "Why were you rude to the man?" he asked in a neutral tone. He wasn't accusing or dismissing but he was trying to figure out what was going on.

"I dunno!" I plopped down and started to cry. "Couldn't stop it! An den you yelled. And den you were mad! An den I was mad! An den they all look at me! An…" my vocalizer dissolved into twitters and clicks of sparkling language. I was upset. I was MAD that he was mad. I was mad he was mad that I was mad! He let out a long whoosh through is exhaust ports and just pulled me to his chest.

"Sweetspark, You ignored me and then were rude. I was within my right to call you on your behavior sparkling," he reasoned. But there was no budging on this fact. He'd done it in front of others. I didn't mind talking with him or if he didn't want me to do stuff or whatever. In fact half of me leaned into the possibility of having those safety parameters in place. They were the staple of healthy and stable homes. But he was NOT going to embarrass me.

That very thought I shoved down the link with a good powerful push. He physically flinched. "Alright, Alright. I will not embarrass you again. But if you don't heed my kind calling then I will have to use a stronger voice to call you." It was an acceptable proposal to keep the situation from happening again. I nodded.

"But if I gotta idea you let me." It wasn't a question.

"I will consider it if you allow me to examine it before hand," he conceded. I couldn't argue with that either. Not only was he my dad but he had to rule the Autobots. The stunt pulled in there could have back fired badly. I sighed. It was more important to let him do this his way and I would have to follow. Mostly. He followed my train of thought and nodded. HE could tell I understood why he was so concerned over the issue and how he had wanted to protect me. I leaned into him now as he picked me up and let our sparks sync. The injury to my pride was quickly washed away in the blue light that glowed between us. "I am sorry I embarrassed you Steel," he apologized. He meant it. The fact he did so blew me away. I'd never gotten an apology from a parent.

I sighed totally confounded by how this mech could be so damn perfect. He chuckled at the thought letting the last vestiges of the argument slip away. "I am not perfect Steel." I yawned leaning back in his arms finally calmed down enough to finish the cup of Energon.

"Close enough," I whispered to him and curled into his chest. He wrapped me tightly in his arms with an arrant thought wondering what I could have been through in a previous life to think that this was perfect.


	15. Secrets

I was in the med bay kicking my feet over the edge of the large berth. Ratchet was making some adjustments on a computer next to me and then he hooked himself up into my wrist jack. My father was next to me with a hand on my back. I didn't like much when Ratchet hardlined into my processor but it was a necessary evil of being a transformer doctor. I curled into my dad's side.

It was worth it though considering what I was getting today. Finally! Internet and a comm. I was so happy that I could have squeed! But I think my dad would have looked at me funny and the docbot would have definitely run some scans. I felt him downloading things into my brain protocols and lines and lines of code. It was so long I stopped watching it feeling almost dizzy. My dad felt my vertigo through the link so did Ratchet. "I can slow the feed Steel," he offered. I nodded.

"Please?" The code entering my cpu seemed to slow enough to where my mind handled the influx of information better. The vague feeling of spinning slowed and stopped. I gave him a grateful smile and he returned it. It only took about 30 seconds to transfer the programs and then he went about making sure I had all the systems upgrades and drivers for everything to work correctly. When he was searching through my instinctive programs and "other" as he'd labeled it programs (those left over from being human) he began to grumble.

"No drivers what so ever to work even the comm? Optimus this sparkling has nothing of the normal software a protoform normally has. And this 'other' is clogging her logic circuits. You should really consider purging this excess…" Warning lights hit my HUD before just as I registered his words and intentions. I screamed pulling my wrist painfully away from him ripping the end of the jack off inside my wrist port making it impossible to move my armor plates back over the vulnerable spot. Yanking back I rolled under my mech creators hand sliding backward on the large metal bed. The warning lights were now doubling as my spark seemed to flare and emotional relays were tripped.

Backpedaling across the silver surface I didn't see the edge coming up behind me and went right on over it increasing my volume in my screech. My father had just enough time to turn after I'd snuck under his hand and scooted backward, to turn his mammoth body and reach a hand out as I'd gone over the edge managing to snatch my ped from mid air. I swung backward almost hitting the metal table leg but my dad was already pulling me up carefully and slipping me into his arms. The minute I hit the nook of his arm the flaring warnings stopped and they all silenced and so did my cries. His spark synced with mine settling my systems to run at minimal and coaxing my spark to beat in time with his regulating the flares. _**It is safe my sparkling**_, he told me through the link. The bond was strong, blue and flooded with calm, love and acceptance.

He'd never considered wiping out my human memories. And then a mantra repeat in my head again and again, _**Ratchet didn't know, Ratchet didn't know…**_ I felt my dad nod. But what had flared in me to protect that hadn't been anticipated by the medic.

"Prime," Ratchet said shocked, "That's… a virus, or…" he didn't have words for the programming he saw. But the firewalls and protection that had surge from previously unknown and inactive programs had basically sent him flying back through their hard link even before I had broken the physical line. Ratchet neared him intending to get back to his work. Optimus jerked his body sideways to intercept his reach to me. I felt the jerk and squeaked but did nothing else. I knew my dad would handle it.

"NO" he yelled then caught himself. "No, you cannot touch that programming. It is part of her base programming, and of her spark." Ratchet's optics went wide.

"It takes vorns for a sparkling to compile that much base coding!" Optimus just stood there not moving but not letting him any closer.

"Medical bay lock down, by order of Optimus Prime code Alpha 1 phi 10001001" he spoke commandingly, bringing down the blast doors to the reinforced med bay. He in effect sound proofed their brewing conversation.

"What is she Optimus? There is too much coding for her to be new…" And there in lied all my fears. I wasn't new I wasn't pure or clean or anything. The words hit my spark like a sabot round making me keen. The crying was soft and pitiful but I couldn't muster the strength to care. The new sound got Ratchet's attention but he had no clue what his words had done. In my spark, I knew it was over. Everything had only lasted about a year and a half and it had been heaven. It had only been a matter of time even if my Cybertronian parents had accepted me I should have thought about the others. It hadn't even crossed my processor. I'd so confident…so sure of this wonderful life after the Call of the Lost had been discovered. "She has to be some type of recycled spark from the beginning of the war when the Decepticons were reigniting the dieing sparks in protoform shells…" My father's anger boiled over and exploded.

"STOP!" he bellowed at the bright green CMO.

Ratchet went still. My mewling became gasping sobs. I heard banging on the doors then. My femme creator was calling out to me through her vocalizer and though our bond. She felt my piercing pain and renewed doubt in my new life. The scares so recently healed by their love and bonds were being ripped open by the Medics cruel words. He then looked down at me watching me from over the top of my dad's arms pulled now to his chest pressed to his chest plates flat against him, his chest to mine. He would have spoken sooner but he'd been trying with all his concentration to keep me from flying to pieces. His mate's proximity allowed him the moment's distraction to yell at the other mech.

"You doubt Primus's will?" he asked the medic in low rumbling tones. His anger barely controlled. The Primes eyes were a slightly darker blue leaning toward a light violet. Ratchet new he'd better be careful.

"You know I follow the teachings of Primus, Optimus," he placed his hands up in a placating motion. The medic was caught between calculating the danger level of not only the sparkling in Primes arms but the Prime himself.

"This sparkling was delivered by Primus, Himself. I was told to be prepared for a gift. The Matrix lead us to her." He looked at me and I met his optics, mine dull and dim. "She is perfect as she is," he gave Ratchet a sharp look as he said this. "She came to us spark broken but she has been healing. Your careless verbalizations could have undone months of steady progress." He pressed my faceplates into his neck joint and wrapped a hand around my helm. Ratchet took the chance to scan me and I felt his sensors tingle over me. I flinched but didn't cry out. When he reached my spark I knew he'd find it.

"By Primus…, the spark fractures are still there," he put a hand over his mouth plate.

"No," Prime corrected. "The very edges have split again. Not enough to endanger her yet but they'd been healed. When I said she came to us with a broken spark I was completely serious. That programming is not a virus or a Decepticon."

"But you know what it is," he said finally catching on to what was not being said.

"The story is not mine to tell," Prime said solemnly. Optimus looked down at me as did Ratchet. I felt their eyes. Optimus was leaving it up to me. I knew he'd support me in whatever I chose. With his strong presence there, I felt I could enlighten the mech if only to keep the damn peace. The grudging decision made, my dad slowly turned me in his arms lying me back into his arms as you'd hold a baby and turned toward Ratchet. The medic looked down at me curious, but also a contrite tilt to his brow plates. Resisting the urge to turn into my daddy I looked up at the medic too.

"Ratchet," my vocalizer wavered suddenly tight like my throat would be. I reached a hand out to him. The one that now hurt with the end stuck in the jack. I realized that looking at him he'd become like an uncle. His words had hurt because I knew they were true but it had also been his rejection of me, the whole me. He stepped forward a little. HE didn't take my hand but it was something. "I was once human." He flinched backward as if I'd slapped him.

"There is NO way to put a human in a protoform shell. The ability to put a human soul, mind…whatever into a sparkling's …"

"Ratchet, I was not only once human but a very dead human." He sputtered again but I continued. "Primus sent me back. I requested another chance as a Cybertronian." His optics went wide. "I was not from this dimension but Primus is from every dimension."

"The programming is your human memories encoded to work in a Cybertronian neural net…" he said sighing. I nodded. "The protections of those files are like nothing I've ever laid optics on before. The complexity is far beyond what we've ever encountered. That alone is proof enough. The firewalls and protections could have only been written by someone who far surpasses our knowledge. Primus is the only being I know who could pull that off…" He told me.

"He sent me back to have a second chance. I believed in him and I just wanted a safe place to live." Ratchet's eyes went soft.

"In the middle of a war?" he asked.

"Anything would have been better than what I left," I spat my anger and with it my determination and strength erupted from some unknown place, probably the new well next to the old that was beginning to fill with all the good things that had been lost to the other. He took a step forward and began to take my hand. His fingers split into several small tools to try and extract the broken lead in my port.

"What horrors could you have possibly suffered to ask to come to this life sparkling?" he asked in a weary tone. "I know humans are capable of great evil but so are all sentient beings," he told me softly as he worked the plug loose. I didn't have to answer. Optimus commed him suddenly sending him a data packet with all the glimpses he'd seen in my memories and dreams. Opening it unprepared, he balked backwards again putting the medical table suddenly between him and us. My dad jutted his chin forward as if to say, 'See you idiot'. The move hadn't been born of anger or rejection I knew. It had been from the sheer incredulity and inability to process the facts. Both of his hands held the berth steadying himself.

"Creators and pod can do THAT and all those other things to a sparkling? Especially their own? And then willingly let her sparkmate with a violent mech?" he said his fans inside his chassis kicking on and his tone bewildered and angry. The volume I cringed at. My father pulled me closer. Prime just nodded to him confirming the truth. "By the Allspark's fragments, sparking…" Ratchet seemed to recover and move forward to hug me in Optimus' arms. He put his helm to mine. "I am sorry sparkling. But as long as your ours that will not be your fate again," he swore. I wrapped a hand around his head and just started to cry. Suddenly with a silent code the doors that held out my femme creator withdrew and she burst in.

"RATCHET!" she shouted and her fire was again blazing. I loved that fire.

"PEACE FEMME!" he was backpedaling to where he had been a minute ago with the table between now her and him.

"PEACE MY AFT!" She dove at him over the table. Her lithe frame clearing it. She tackled him to the ground. "All that fraggin hard work and you had to go and let your vocalizer flap before your slaggin processor caught up?" Her arm blade appeared but more for show. She didn't hold him down with it.

"PEACE please! I apologize to the sparkling. She is ours. She is fine. I vow I will keep her secret but will keep that NEW life safe," he emphasized. I began to cry again. HE accepted me! I didn't know why but the medic old grumpy himself had taken me all, lock, stock and barrel. My femme creator took this as a good place to stop trying to kill our CMO and come to me. She took me from Optimus and rocked me. I loved when she did that. The edges of my spark were resolidifying under the powerful bonds synced with mine. In the melee, I'd forgotten I was hungry. Ratchet was already handing Elita a cup before I could even say anything.

"Here my spark," she smiled and let me tip it back and drink slowly. I was so damn tired. I pinged Ratchet on my new comm that I was surprised worked. He looked at me and smiled.

::Forgiven:: I sent in Cybertronian.

He commed back ::Thank you, dearest sparkling of OURS:: he emphasized. I yawned. I could almost see all the pieces fall into place in his processor.

_**Tired**_ I told my parents through our bond. They both nodded and left the medbay without a look back. The trouble over, several of the mechs and femmes that had come at Elita's calls and banging had suddenly found something else to do now that the door to the Medbay opened. They both smiled at me my dad's arms around my mom as they made their way to our quarters. I didn't think anyone else would ever find out my secret. But it gave me hope today to see that if they did, it didn't mean immediate rejection. There was hope.


	16. Deficiencies

It was the beginning of summer the year after I came to this new life. I knew the time was drawing nearer for the epic battle I the forest for Sam's life. But now it would be even more dangerous with me hooked to his spark. Everything would need to happen much like it did in the movie to ensure Sam's place in the future of the Autobots and his connections to them. I could have told them where the tombs of the Primes were and that the Fallen was coming but there needed to be some sort of dramatic event to move Sam from his 'normal' seeking attitude this summer. I was just unsure of how it would all play out in the end. I knew my part now but it wasn't going to be easy.

It was just after I'd woken up when I knew we had to broach the subject my father and I. I looked up at him and he looked down to me in his arms taking my energon. "What is it sparkling?" he asked allowed. This conversation was just between him and I though so I reverted back to our bond.

_**It's getting closer**_ I told him letting my worry and sorrow filter through the link.

_**I know sweetspark, **_he answered back cuddling me closer. He remembered the movie clip I'd showed him.

_**Megatron is long gone though sparkling you know this**_ I think he was holding out hope I was just imagining things but he new better I and I could feel it.

_**Daddy you know it's coming and I need you to do something **_I looked at him pleadingly.

_**You know I would do anything for you.**_

_**You need to have the sparkling hold moved, **_at this he balked. That was a dangerous procedure and risky to do since the sparkling hold was so close to the spark. Ratchet he knew was skilled enough to do such a delicate operation but the very thought of having me rest somewhere other than next to his spark baffled him.

_**Why would you want such a thing sparkling? **_his confusion flooding the link with his words.

_**Because if you don't we both die. **_My fear and pain rushed toward him meeting his own and rebounding between our sparks. _**You know what's gonna happen daddy…**_

He shut his optics to the outside from looking at anything hugging me closer. The negative and suddenness of the profound feelings made my mother come join our hug and she wrapped her arms around us both.

_**What is it my loves,**_ she asked in her warm tones.

_**The future is dark my love, **_Optimus told Elita. They'd discussed this before. She knew all he knew. But the couldn't know everything I did.

_**IS this what bothers your sparks? **_

_**Mommy help me make him,**_ I begged her.

_**Do what sweetling?**_

_**Move his sparkling hold. **_She reared back also as if slapped. I quickly hurried on in my explanation. _**You both know I gotta go. I need ta be there. I need to be in his hold but if you don't movie it we both died.**_

_**You can't go! **_Elita's temper was suddenly white hot that stemmed from the fear of loosing us both. But to have her baby going into battle? It was unheard of supposed. But they'd just have to get over it.

My will pushed against their anger, and fear. I replayed the battle for both with startling clarity and the pain that seared me to the spark from that night when I 'd dreamed it had actually happen. The cringed as the felt what I felt with nothing held back. I could have showed them the whole movie running it back through my head but I knew that this is the only place I could help. Knowing everything would change to much.

_**I hafta go,**_ I told them softly and with out heat. They knew it too but didn't want to believe it anymore than I wanted to live it. Elita looked at Prime and he stared back.

He hung his head sighing, "I will schedule it with Ratchet as soon as possible." He hugged me. "My little Prime," he sighed. "You are too young to need to use these gifts my daughter. I want you to just be my sparkling and stay safe." They both cuddled me and it took the edge off the tidal waves of pain and fear that had been consuming our bonds. Battle over my spark synced with both my creators and I took the rest of my energon quietly.

XXX

The next day didn't bring my father to the infirmary but it did see me as a patient.

It started like any other day in a transformer base. I was crawling around even though I could walk. It took more effort though which my father told me was due to my motor relays becoming used to the new movement and my processor processing all the movements together and balance thrown in and some other things I didn't understand. I just figured it was all part of being a cybertronian toddler. So instead of being in my dad's office this morning I was crawling around the Rec room with Sam, Bumblebee, and Mikaela watching me. My father always made sure I had a babysitter. Another draw back of being a baby oh well.

So crawling around I was inspecting the floor to see what things I could find that was interesting, babies always found cool stuff. The mech sized couch was huge and so was the place underneath it. While I thought they weren't watching cuz bumblebee and Sam were really into their racing game and Mikaela was cheering for Bumblebee much to Sam's displeasure, I decided it was a good time to go for under the couch. I thought I'd seen something neat under there. So I crawled half way under reaching for some piece of bent wiring attached to some plastic bits that looked melted. Must have been apart of one of Wheeljack's experiments. IT looked like it might still work It had flashing lights still.

My baby bot programming was taken by the flashing but my adult mind found I was hungry. But not for energon. I really didn't know why I thought I was hungry. IT was the oddest sensation like a tingling in my tank but not that empty whole when I truly wanted to drink Energon. I looked at it and put it in my mouth with out thinking much like my babybot self or baby human self would have. I remember she was still in there somewhere too. If tasted like that tangy bit of iron like in blood but with a sharper taste. There was no sweet or salty to it just that metallic feeling that might accompany tap water when you got really thirsty. It was just as I was really beginning to enjoy it that someone grasped a hold of my ped and pulled me backward.

I looked behind me seeing it was Mikaela that had found me out the melted piece of plastic and wires hanging from my mouth. She gasped drawing the attention of the other two who were supposed to be watching me. "Oh NO Steel!" She told me firmly but not angry. "That is not for baby bots! You only eat energon." She went to pull it away and I pulled it away from her.

"NO!" I wanted it because it tasted good and took the edge off that tingling feeling. I could feel it strut deep.

"Steel, sweetspark," she started gently, "you can't eat that honey it's not good for you." She put her hand out. I really didn't want to throw a fit and the wire I'd consumed seemed to have taken the tingling down a notch so I gave it too her. "There's a good girl," she smiled. "Bee why don't you pick her up and play a game with her." She told the bot who looked thoroughly chastised. The yellow scout picked me up and threw me up and made me squeal. I loved being thrown and caught. There was such an implicit trust when someone did that with me and I enjoyed it. Bee was like a big brother I never had.

After I landed in his hand he looked at me, "Why are you chewing on things sparkling?" he asked. I shrugged.

"Tase good" I said. He gave a strange look, but he let it go. I think he figures sparklings are just odd anyhow.

Xxx

IT was later in my dad's office that I was crawling around the floor which he let me do to get some exercise and stretch my legs. I alternate between walking and crawling. I was looking around the floor again figuring there must be something metal around on the floor seeing as how most EVERYONE is made out of the stuff. But most of the furniture was made of metal too. Searching I found a small bolt (by Cybertronian standards) in the corner that must have fallen out of one of the mech chairs. I looked at it and remember how the wire from earlier had made the tingle like hunger subside earlier. IT was back again and it was making me uncomfortable. Parking myself in the corner I started to chew on it my back to my dad.

I could tell he felt the strange feeling as he finally looked at me. I was busy chewing on the end of the bolt like a big lollipop when I heard his chair move backward. I didn't think anything was wrong with what I was doing and it did help me feel better so I continued as he walked over. I turned my head as he stopped next to me and knelt down. I had my hands full of bolt and slowly taking small licks and shavings off of it. I felt the alarm in our bond even before he cried my name. "STEEL!" He knocked it out of my hand scooping me up. The whole scenario scared the slag outta me because I didn't know what was going on or what I'd done wrong.

My best response to this was crying. It usually helped calm daddy and mommy knowing whatever they did upset me. His tone came down a few notches when he spoke again. "Steel, how much did you eat?" he asked hurriedly as he ran toward what I knew was the direction of the medbay.

"Some under da couch and some of da bolt?" I squeak and sniffed trying to answer him through my sobs.

"It's ok sparkling. I'm not mad at you," he cooed to me as he entered Ratchet's domain. The med bot already had a soft pad for me.

"There there," Ratchet crooned. He never crooned. This must be bad. I started to cry more. "It's alright sparkling. Ratchet can fix it," he smiled at me. "Why did you eat the metal sweetspark?"

Through my cries and twitters I managed, "It tase good. Hungry."

"Sparklet, you eat only energon." I shook my head in frustration.

"HUNGRY" I yelled to him. Optimus came up to my side and rubbed my tummy parts.

"Ratchet, she doesn't feel like she needs Energon it's more of a tingle. She can feel it in her tank but also in her struts I think," he said concentrating on my link. I then saw Ratchet's eyes brighten and then start scanning. He then was quiet for a full minute which was followed by him locking down the med bay for privacy sake or so I guessed.

After hearing the thunk of the reinforced doors he turned to my dad, "Optimus, it's a human habit to eat objects that are inedible when children are missing nutrients in their diet. He human past was prompting her to try and replace the minerals she was missing in the Energon she needs." Prime looked at him.

"What is she missing?" he asked concerned.

"She isn't getting enough metals in her Energon from the earth's recourses. I am going to have to start adding some so that she doesn't become deficient and start stunting growth and functioning." Optimus sagged a little in relief.

"What about the particles she has eaten today?" Just then my dad's attention was momentarily divided as he rubbed my tummy and concentrated on a conversation. "Bumblebee heard she was in here and was wondering if it had anything to do with the wire she ate earlier." My dad huffed at me in a good natured way. "You are a handful sparkling."

"I will have to sedate her and empty her fuel tank." Ratchet went to turn to get something and I screeched and tried to crawl up my dad and under his armor. I knew how much having your stomach pumped when one was human I had no idea what this entailed. The yellow hummer turned around at the ruckus I made. "What in Primus's name has gotten into you Steel?" he asked baffled.

"NO hurt! I sorry!"

"It's not a punishment sparkling," he soothed walking up to Optimus trying to get a handle on me. "You will go into recharge and wake up feeling better, sweetspark, no pain. Promise," he kept his voice calm.

"Promise?" He nodded and I stopped trying to climb under my dad's armor. I let the med bot take me.

"I will just be a few minutes to make sure the scraps of metal you ate aren't getting into your circulatory system and with a clean flush you won't feel anything bad. When you wake up I'll have some Energon ready for you that will make that feeling go away too." Ratchet cradled me in the crook of his arm and inserted a needle in one of my ports in my arm which really didn't hurt and began to rock as the drug took affect. I don't remember anything after that.

XXX

When I came too enough to realize what was happening I was already sucking on a sippy cup of Energon that had a more metallic zing than normal. But it felt really good in my tank making it settle more than it had in a while. My mother was the one feeding me and rocking. I snuggled into her as she could feel me more with it now. "Hello sparkling," she smiled through the link I didn't need to see her bright face. She ran a hand over my helm. My spark was already in sync with hers. True to his word, I didn't feel anything uncomfortable after what ever Ratchet did. I felt a little groggy though. My head was sorta fuzzy and I glanced up at my mom.

"Mommy," I smiled huge. Felt good to smile. "Sgood," my vocalizer was sort of slurred. She giggled down at me. "Wuv you mommy." I yawned. My brow plate I felt knit together lower over my optics. "Mommy why your fuzzy?" My optics were refusing to focus. She giggled again.

"Ratchet will the sedative last much longer?" I heard something mechanical shake or nod. I looked over toward the sound but he'd already stopped whatever he was doing.

"She'll probably go back to recharge and 'sleep' it off as the humans say." A larger hand pet my helm replacing my mom's. I stayed in her arms but looked up at who it was.

"Daddy!" I squealed happily around my cup. I spilled some but didn't really care. "Daddy Prime," I giggled. "Wuv you to daddy," I smiled. Everything just felt good, comfortable, fuzzy and safe. In the back of my mind I was wondering where Ratch had kept this good shit and why he hadn't shared till now. But that thought and all others were slowly starting to fade together and then to a hazy grey and after that as my body reentered recharge.


	17. Battle

I don't normally thank my reviewers on this story because I put a lot of myself in these chapters but I would love to thank those, Dragon Blaze, Hermonie, SakuraPhoenix, Mercedes Wolfcry, and Autobot echo! I like getting feedback and you guys are great THNX!

XXX

I had Internet now and I knew I could find out what day almost to what hour the stories connected to three movies and the object of my obsession would be changed forever. Slightly altered already it was becoming clear that things hadn't changed all that much. I finally googled it in late August and Harvard started in a week. The feeling that shot threw me was like scalding liquid fire and liquid nitrogen poured through my fuel system one after the other. My spark flicked momentarily and I dropped to my knees.

But it only lasted a few seconds as I got myself under control and the familiar presence of my parents bonds were rushing love and reassurance to me as my father grabbed me and two steps out of his office my systems began to function normally again. He took me to Ratchet anyhow describing what had happened to him. Under the medics scrutiny I couldn't lie. Not that I wanted to. I just wanted to protect everyone, from the truth? I don't know. I just knew how much it hurt me to see it. How much would it be to hear it?

"Sparkling what happened?" Ratchets tender vocalizer asked me.

"I saw the date…" I looked directly at my father. He knew what I was talking about. There is only one thing on the horizon that could make my spark flutter like that.

"Don't press her anymore," Optimus said resignedly. He sighed out his vents and put a hand on Ratchet's shoulder armor. "There are some secrets that are ours to bear alone."

"But Optimus," the medic snapped, "this is going to break her!" he was angry not necessarily at his prime but the situation.

"It may well yet my old friend," he picked me up and cuddled me to his chest armor and let his sparks light shine through the crack bathing me in its glow. "But it will not be the pictures of things to come Ratchet. IT will be the event."

"What could possibly…"

"Soon," was all he said as he met his femme at the entrance of the door and took her by the waist and lead her to their quarters. IT had been a month since I had given any real thought to how late in the summer it was getting. It's just the nearness of the future events caught me off guard and they could feel that the time had gone by so quickly and my life had been so smooth that it hadn't seemed like it had passed as such. I knew when the battle would happen I just didn't know when that huge Decepticon would show his head. It was then the Alarms went off.

XXX

I knew that this was it that it was the match between my father and that HUGE Decepticon that rolled end over end into Shanghai . This had waylaid our walk to our quarters and had detoured us to the monitor room where my mother spent most of her time. The others gathered here too to meet with Major Lennox. "There's been some sightings in China," I cringed. This was it. He felt me pull backwards into myself. And pulled me closer and even in the room let his sparks warmth flow over me. The soldiers who were high enough were slack jawed a moment until they heard Lennox clear his throat. Many had never seen a spark let alone my fathers. But he did this without reservation and without embarrassment displaying this type of intimacy with his child. On Cybertron to comfort a sparkling like this was an every day event.

I heard Will go on to describe the types of readings they were receiving in Shanghai and the reports they were getting from certain building companies in the area. Some equipment had gone missing or moving on its own. But the most unique was how during the off hours of the night holes were appearing in building sites where there had been none. This would take a large Decepticon to do this and they had to look into it by the request of the Chinese government. This whole briefing was things I already knew the specifics of it were just superfluous. I was also privy to the information that I would not be having my mother and father with me for at least two days and this made my spark sink.

My dad's thoughts were scanning ways to make it not so that if only Elita to could stay I might be able to pull through this last time apart until we changed the course of the future. But no matter how he tried to fix the mission roster there was no way to get around having both go. The briefing was given succinctly and Optimus was the first one out unlike most times when he was the last getting additional information for the mission. He moved quickly to the medbay why I didn't know. I was consumed with the thought that I was not going to have contact with either parent on this mission and how I would keep my spark together while they were not in close proximity.

When he walked into the medbay it seemed Ratchet and Optimus were already deeply in a conversation. Their faceplates showed a range of emotions. I really wasn't looking though. The warmth was settling in my spark that felt like a numbing balm washing over me. I didn't know what it was but it felt nice after the hopeless feeling of all afternoon. My fathers worry was nothing in the face of my mother's desperation apparently. As she walked in her glowing spark leading the way she walked to my father and pulled me from his arms and cradled me against her raw and open spark that burned like the sun. How wonderful it felt to be nestled against that fire. Slowly my mother had been allowing Ratchet to move parts to one side of her body to allow my four foot and a half form fit in the left side of her chest cavity. It wasn't as comfortable as my fathers as it was not quite a tight fit but I couldn't stretch out. But my curved sparkling hold that would have sat where human lung would be rested right next to her 'heart'. And she took me beneath her breastplates and allowed the sling to swaddle my body. Pulled intimately into her, the bright blue of safety within the hold with me, filled me with her flame that did nothing but bring warmth and comfort like being wrapped in a warm blanket when the cold from the day has seeped into your bones. And there the world ceased to matter and I slept.

XXX

The next thing I was aware of is that damn groggy feeling again as I awoke from another drugged sleep. I would have been mad but the drugs were making me goofy again. I guess that answered the question if Autobots can get high. Apparently Ratchet had made it possible. Score one for the good guys I guess. But the drugs were quicker to wear off this time since I hadn't had a procedure. And once I was with it long enough to check my chronometer I jolted awake.

I found my self on top of my father's body that looked a little worse for wear but noting like it should have been if Egypt had already happened. He looked down at me pulling me to his warming spark. "Are you ready to awaken sparkling?" he asked me like every morning.

"YOU CHEATED!" I accused. His laugh rumbled under me.

"Oh sparkling, my joy, you are well and whole," he smiled and pulled me to his cheek plate to nuzzle me. He then handed me to my mother who took me also and hugged me to her smaller body enjoying the closeness. Her spark was still warm but without the flaring all encompassing from the day before. She smiled her feelings flowing through the bonds like my fathers of happy rejoining and relief.

"What happened?" I asked grumpy.

It was just then the incarnation of grumpy aka Ratchet, walked in. He moved over to the three of us on a large berth made for larger transformers. "I put you in stasis lock through your mother's covering of her bond. She felt you sinking into that pit and literally wrapped you in her spark. Through a hard line I slid you deeper into recharge and then into stasis lock." My mouth was hanging open.

"You stasised me?"

"Never heard it like that before but yes sparkling. IT was a precaution that I would not have used if it wasn't absolutely necessary. Your spark is still to fragile to be without both when your CPU is functioning." I nodded. I was so scared and Ratchet had just skipped the two days when I would be with out them by drugging me. I guess I should be thankful but I was sort of miffed just 'missing' two days all the sudden. But the circumstances were unique I supposed. My adult side agreed with the course of action but my baby bot side was impulsively grumpy. I decided to walk the middle road and just be slightly put out. I pouted but not for long as my father's laugh was contagious. They were so happy to see me that it overwhelmed the negative feelings and then I was just glad as they were to be with them.

After their repairs were done and they were declared whole enough my creators took me outside and played with me like I remember my human parents doing at things like picnics and the beach. He tried to run after me and pretend he was a monster. I ran and squealed like a toddler. The feeling was exhilarating and so normal. I would run to my mother and she'd pick me up and 'save' me while daddy would take both of us in his arms. She'd cry for help and laugh. And then he was rolling with me in the sand on the beach where it met the water getting salt water in places we probably shouldn't. And we sat down closer to sunset as a family and sat their on the beach as the waves crashed and the sun turned dusky. The colors were beautiful in the middle of the ocean and the clouds bounce the different colors through the atmosphere making it look like Primus had spilled his pallet across the sky. I sat there seeing it for the first time with my new optics and really paying attention. There were colors I didn't even have names for. And my dad sat with his arm around my mommy and me in his lap until the last vestiges of any color in the sky besides dark blue were gone. IT was the first time I'd fallen asleep outside and until the next morning it was enough.

XXX

The political fallout of the Shanghai incident fell down hard on my father's shoulders. He knew it was coming I told him that much to prepare him. The next day we were to set out on a plane to the main land where Sam had been going to school. He thought the boy could do some good with the government. The simmering resentment as we took this trip didn't leave me. I could have hated the boy in that moment but I remember my own boys two blond haired blue eyed babies that had lived such short lives that I'd loved with everything in me I had. They were gone now but they made me appreciate what boys needed and wanted. He just wanted to be like them normal and happy. Autobots could throw a monkey wrench in that plan if what made you happy was normal. I still couldn't unravel my self from my funk that consumed my mood. When Bumblebee brought the boy to the cemetery I stayed in my fathers sparkling hold curled up so tight I might have broken a strut but I couldn't face him right now and not tell him everything.

But the futility of doing so would bring everything down around our ears. HE would have to earn his stripes like we all did with blood sweat and precious metal as Epps had said once. The mother in me wanted to wrap the boy in arms that would protect him from what came. This side of me didn't have a reason to be active yet but the remnants of being one were still in my processor. But the babybot in me which was so much stronger now that I'd merged with the programming was clamoring for his hide. So I stayed curled in on myself wishing the interaction would end so that we could just see this through before I went entirely insane.

I heard my dad's parting words rumble through me, I hadn't told him that Sam would reject his plead for help, I wish I could have. But now he understood the careful balance I'd held myself in until now when I let out a cry inside him and he took from his sparkling hold and cradled me to his chassis. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his hand rubbed my back and helm. His spark was heavy heavier than it had been prior to the trip out here. Something had changed. "Daddy?" I asked wondering what had made his mood so grave.

"I haven't told you yet daughter," he responded finally after a pause. "The shard has been taken." I sighed and suddenly I knew the next 24 hours was all we had.

XXX

My mother and father knew better now than to stasis lock me this time. There was no way with the future looking as I showed them they would risk me or my dad. But the danger was mounting after they had decided to get some recharge at a high security level facility close to Sam's college for the night to protect him incase something happened. He'd sent Bumblebee away and he was in the large storage warehouse with us in his alt mode brooding. I wanted to reach out to him and let him know everything would be ok but not even I knew that now. I prayed to Primus knowing he would hear and I then snuggled into my father's chest plates where I let him rock me to sleep in the light of his spark with my sippy cup. I didn't remember the exact time line because it had been a while since I'd watched the movie now years since I'd been in this life and so for the time being I let it be.

XXX

There was a loud speaker in the warehouse that woke us at the ungodly hour of ass o'clock that was really about 7:30. I rolled off my dad my cup still dripping on his chest to look up and see Will run in. "HOLY SHIT PRIME! THEY'VE GOT MEGATRON!" My dad rolled to his feet pulling my mother and I with him. He had me in his arms as the Autobots surrounded their friend. They were all getting the news just as he got it now too. The broadcasts over the wires were being sent directly to prime. "And he's alive?" Will looked up at Optimus.

"They must have used the shard that they stole to revive him. IT was not meant for that purpose but the residual power in the piece of the Allspark could have reignited his spark," my dad revealed. The Autobots knew what was going to happen next. With the lord of the Decepticons back they would want to know what happened to the Allspark or at least get the last person who knew where it was or had it. That was Sam. They all left in a contingent not allowing Will to know what was going on yet. They had already crashed through the ships around the Laurentian abyss carrying more casualties with it. They had some recon to do before they pulled their human friends into this again. They waited in strategic places across the shore awaiting the Decepticons and Bumblebee got as close as he could to the boy with out giving himself away. There was so much happening at once and only a handful of Autobots to make sure the whole freaking world didn't get destroyed.

XXX

I don't know what changed but suddenly it was time. I had been in my fathers sparkling hold since this morning. I hadn't wanted to move. I knew though that the urgency in my father's spark was overwhelming. He synced his spark with mine so close to his but now under it rather than beside it. The distance from his spark was only a foot but it was farther than before and it just wasn't the same. I lamented over this for a brief second till I was surrounded in his powerful link with me. _**Steel, they've taken Sam **_I let out a cry and he shushed me gently in our synced bond. _**Don't fear my spark I am here and you are with me. Remember you made me bring you. I know we will pull through this whatever Primus has sent you to do you can do it. Be strong my Steel Mettle. We will be together in spark no matter the outcome.**_ I nodded.

_**I know what to do daddy, **_even my voice in my bond was wavering. I felt so small but his primely strength surrounded me in side my very being as if he was imbuing me with his very self. And then I knew he was doing just that. A small piece of him to keep with me when he had to shut himself down. I wrapped around that sliver of his spark pulling it inside me like I'd done for the smaller me so long ago but now with my adult side I was locking down my babybot in with that piece of daddy to wait there for whatever was to happen. This was not going to be pretty.

One more powerful surge of his love and I was cut off. I felt him scaling something as we were going up. And then there was a horrible crumbling and scattering of rocks and my dad's shock absorbers kept me from bouncing in his midsection. The sparkling hold had suddenly wrapped tightly around my body like a stay fresh bag sucked out with a vacuum. The tightness and elasticity of the hold kept me suspended and safe as he bounced and dove. It felt like he was doing back flips that if I remember correctly he was. The blasts were deafening and the block was spark wrenching but hunkered down inside me and my mother's bond feeding my strength I held there. I didn't even pretend to breath and I found after years of doing so I didn't have to. It was as if I'd frozen everything inside me to just hold still and pretend we were on that beach with the colors of sunset or him feeding me in the comfort of our room. There were so many places I could stay and loop in my processor but then I wouldn't be able to do my part when it came.

So I let the despair wash over me as my father began taking blows from Decepticons. He hadn't gotten mad enough yet so I hung on to my knees plates curled in on my self again with my mothers love enveloping me but it was not enough this time. I knew this was either the end or something had to give. My own "battle protocols" started to boot up and the babybot inside me and the adult who was trying to protect her finally failed as the walls I'd become so adept as using as a human for so many years crumbled in the face of this horror. I'd been brutalized, and many other things in a life that was not this, but NO ONE had a line directly to my soul. But now I was linked to him and the hits continued to rain down on him and I felt every blow through my tiny form as it reverberated through him. The small shard I had to hang onto of my father brightened slightly as he was thrown and hit the ground sliding to a stop. It glowed in his anger. His oh so righteous anger. Maybe this time it would be enough. But I knew differently. His roar, "I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON," was the beginning of the end. I stumbled inside myself I felt dizzy and confused. There was so much pain as his spark linked to mine even through his battle protocol as I was left wide open. But as an adult I couldn't use the weapon I'd been blessed into this life with and to do that I had to open myself up to his spark before it was too late. I felt the satisfaction as he took a face one that deserved to be wiped from this earth and then he was worried, for me and for the organic that ran through the forest who he'd been trying to protect. Looking for him as he would any under his care he was momentarily distracted as I knew Megatron was sneaking up on him. _**DADDY! **_My voice in his head made him sit up but it was too late. I felt the sword pierce my fathers chest cavity and go threw directly where my sparkling hold would have sat. It had missed the spark chamber but the coming blast if not stopped would not.

Feeling my spark sear with the pain that my father felt, had the edges cracking like small snowflakes form the spires that surrounded my glowing life essence. His spark was beating but the end was so near. And that power that had saved me once, The Call they had told me I had once again ripped from my vocalizer as my body felt as if it was on fire. I was too close to that warm sun that my mother always wrapped me in or maybe I had just crawled into my fathers spark and was melting from my own stupidity. MY mind no was longer working in the same plain as everyone else. But I knew that the call given to me was no fluke. I did have this power and I was gonna use it to save the family I loved.

Pain then became like an old friend coming to visit bearing news that I was still at least functioning. But by this time, the other Autobots were coming in and finally driving the Decepticons back. My call had stunned them long enough to make them what I could collect from my scattered CPU drop my dad without blasting him in the spark this time. But his spark was still sputtering he'd taken so much damage and as I crawled out of a whole in his abdomen area Sam was long gone in Bumblebee and I crawled using what strength I had left up to his chest and they opened for me knowing me. Everything in his body was shutting down as his spark began to become dimmer. I looked on as the last flicker of his spark died in his chest and I cried out in agony. The small piece I had of him was dieing too. I knew somewhere on a Jupiter moon that red eyed freak was basking in the glow of being freed. But then I knew what I had to do. Forcing my shard of his spark into his chest I sunk it into his spark chamber and the Call was already in my throat as my spark was slowly withering away there as there was no more Prime.

Through my throat singed already from the sparking after the last powerful emissions I racked the unnatural sound across it again harmonizing it with that small shard I wrapped my whole being around and watched it flutter like a candle before it caught and then watched it sparkle to life under my small hand. IT was small and fragile but it was life, and that is where the last of my strength went as I descended into darkness that I doubted I'd ever awaken from.


	18. Blocked

Thank you to my reviewers Sakura, Mercades, Mobile Holmes, Heromine and Dragon Blaze. Glad you are liking it. HOpe you like this installment REVIEW! (and if i didn't answer any questions about what happened last chapter with the spark thing message me and I'll try and redo it)

XXX

When I woke up it wasn't with either of my parents. I was staring into the blue optics of a huge old looking prime. I knew right away it was Primus. But the floaty homey loving feeling was absent from heaven this time. "Hey god," I said sitting up rubbing my head. It was still swirling from the emotional rollercoaster I'd just been on. I wasn't truly so happy to see him after so short a time in my new life. For all its speed bumps it's had been wonderful. "Already?" I asked heart broken.

He shook his large head. I just realized I was till in my femme sparkling body. "Not yet," he told me as he sat next to me. "It is not your time nor was it your mech creator. You knew my plan for you," he smiled the smile of a proud father.

"Well I had no choice. I didn't want him to go away. And for once neither did I want to leave," I whispered the last part.

"You whose trust has been ripped asunder and betrayed by those who swore to protect you unto me in their place of worship. And yet you trust. You trust your god and your new parents."

"With out trust there can be no love, God. If I didn't try then why go back at all? There not perfect but they try and they love me. ALL of me."

"And there in lies a truth many have sought and do not find, because they harden their hearts in the face of such unfaithfulness and treachery. But you though guarded give your trust. And you wish to stay little one?" he asked me and I nodded.

"I really do this time. Before I was so tired but here I wan to stay!"

"And you will precious one. You have rekindled your fathers spark but only just. His small spark shard he left with you is not enough to bring him back completely, but it is enough to keep both of you here after the Fallen had been set free as I'd decreed."

"Here?" I asked catching on to something.

"Yes, child you are merely dreaming and I came to you."

"That would explain the headache and the lack of harps."

Primus literally rolled his optics like I used to do to my human mother. the action made me giggle. "There are no harps," he thundered a tad testily. I reigned in my mirth so I didn't get on his bad side. Didn't need any of that. I knew I couldn't cuz he loved me but still not taking a chance thank you. He chuckled probably reading my mind, "You will awaken soon. Your power and Energon were nearly depleted in the completion of your mission. I love you child of mine. The road is hard but not impassible." were his parting words. I smiled and hugged a finger and everything went all white.

XXX

When I came to I was somewhere warm. I let my self egress into consciousness by degrees. The place was pleasantly warm even though I hurt all over. I didn't know why there was a whole in my spark or why my body seemed to be soar. The sparkling hold I realized I was in wasn't large and I was slung sideways in a swing like shape with my legs curled against me. I was comfortable and warm. It must be HER spark.

As I opened an optic I was met by the lightning blue that blanketed me in the hold. Wrapped in that glow I couldn't drown in the emptiness that was at the edges of my awareness. My mother knew I was coming too and finally felt that talking to me wouldn't break the tentative equilibrium that I'd managed to reclaim in her sparkling hold. _**Sweetspark,**_ she called to me an entreaty to speak to her my silence was unnerving the femme. IT wasn't born of malice though and she knew it just of stillness inside me and out.

_**Femme caretaker,**_ my voice was tiny and much like a child's I had clicked this to her. I felt like a child like someone had rewound my life and left just the babybot who existed now. Somewhere I was inside this CPU but was still. And for once that was ok. I allowed that baby to be here and now and only that. I was in my Femme creator's sparkling hold which was the most natural place for a babybot to be and that's all the sense I needed right now. I felt the roil of emotions she was trying to keep from me and keep me inside her spark at the same time. There was some bleed over but the majority of the feeling was so peaceful and warm I shifted my focus from those and leaned into her blue spark.

I heard muffled Cybertronian from outside her armor quick and kinda frantic? I shrugged. It didn't matter since I was here with femme caretaker. There were weird words buzzing in between them that sounded foreign but I understood them kinda? The lazy feeling drifted over me as I listened to the words that were really none of my business but as a curious sparkling I was board, a little tired but board.

"Ratchet, she's just woken up," my femme creator told someone.

"I can feel it from 'knowing' her spark," whoever she was talking to answered.

"She's clicking femme caretaker Ratchet!" it sounded like it was between gritted denta.

"Why is that cause for worry?"

"Because mornings are in English, Medic. This isn't normal isn't…her."

"She speaks English through even the bonds?"

"At times," she admitted to the other voice. Was that bad? Was English bad? It didn't sound like I was in trouble more like the other was.

"Is there something else amiss in the bond?"

"She's there but not…completely…" she was having trouble it sounded like she didn't even know what she wanted. I could be what she wanted. I was all here. I looked at my hands, and feet and felt my face. Yup all there. Maybe she was talking about upgrades? The thought was exciting. Upgrades were only for big bots.

"Then who is there?" he asked puzzled. He sounded like he understood but not, his tone was weird. What did he know I didn't? I hate when people share secrets and don't tell me. It's not nice. Femme creator said to me I should not tell secrets over comms cuz it's rude.

"Only the baby," she told him in a low whisper.

"But the other 'programming' is not active?"

"There but not active, can't find it I just know it's still there," she confirmed with a little relief.

"Hardline NOW," but her chest didn't open very much just enough for a cable to snake in and hook to my wrist which I reached out for the plug that came to me. It didn't hurt I knew it wouldn't.

"Scrap!" the owner of the cable exclaimed. I giggled a little. That was naughty word. I felt the doctor in my head. It made me kinda dizzy as he went through stuff. It felt like he was worried though and I kinda got worried when he was worried. _**Don't fear sparkling, Everything is fine sweetling**_ the last word left a weird reverberation in my mind. IT was odd not in Cybertronian. It was that other guttural stuff they'd been using in snippets between their normal language. The reaction to the weird word made the bad feelings from the cable person double as he went on through my CPU at a faster rate. He was rewinding something and then it just stopped. I felt him pull the plug out suddenly with gentle swiftness and the slight light from outside my femme creator's body was shut out again and I just snuggled into the sparkling hold happy not to move.

The muffled words started again but this time the pitch was much higher and were echoing bad emotions that made my spark feel a little weird. "Ratch…?" my femme creator called to the other.

"Her human programming is locked. Or rather frozen. The sparkling programming has overridden her original programming and the contradiction with the programming and the emotional trauma of almost loosing Optimus must have initiated the override. I think it is a protective measure."

"Ratch…" the tone in my femme creator's voice caught my audios. It was broken? Or cracked? Or really really really sad? But her spark was so warm and nice. I couldn't understand the contradiction. Sad and warm? Maybe that Ratchet was making her sad? But I couldn't do anything. She was Femme creator! She takes care of that. I nodded with that logic. The processing of this though seemed to make that thread of upsetting emotions intensify and then go back to where it was again. I shrugged and leaned into her spark again. I wanted her to be happy but I didn't know what to do so I would wait till she could hold me and I would snuggle her and make her better then. "Ratch…she's not Steel," the sound her vocalizer emitted was like when my gears whined a little only louder and audio shredding.

I then felt a sensation go threw my mothers frame that meant someone had put a hand on her because the contact reverberated through the metal. "I know I felt that too. All of her prior programming is inaccessible right now. I think the mixture of power loss and trauma also had something to do with it. She's just a sparkling. And too…" but he cut off suddenly. I just felt my femme creater nod. It appeared the conversation I could hear was over. It was upsetting me kinda anyway. I think they were talking about me but the big words in Cybertronian were hard to decode. I was more interested in making my femme creator better so I let happy feeling wash down my side to hers and I felt a light touch of gratitude laced with a hint of pain? That didn't make sense. So I shuffled it away with the other things that just didn't compute for examining later or when I got the software to understand them.

Suddenly a thundering gruff voice came into audio range and it told whoever was there, "They found Sam. He got a message through to Will. They want us to bring Optimus to Egypt." It felt like my femme creator got a data pack also that she was computing. So many names and words that weren't Cybertronian even when they spoke in it. Something tickled the back of my sensors that I couldn't quite hang on to so I turned my attention to what was being said if anything else.

"She can't be farther than 5 feet away!" my femme creator told him worried again seeping into her voice.

"That is why you are coming with," the gruff voice told her. "You will airdrop with him and the bratling. You will also ride in the same plane with him and I. His flicker is holding just enough to keep his spark on this plain of existence and not much else. Ratchet things that whatever Sam has discovered might bring him back. OR that is what Sam has told us. He's not been wrong yet." The ripple of metal meeting metal again reverberated through her frame as someone touched my femme creator. "How is she?" the gruff voice asked in a softer tone.

"She's…" and again the conversation cut off. But the metal scraping from being yanked from my femme creators chassis couldn't be missed. There was a hiss of some kind probably from the new others vents.

"WHAT?" the loud voice was dripping with shock. And then all I heard was him yelling about going somewhere in a hurry.

XXX

It wasn't long before I felt us moving and then settling in somewhere. My Femme creator wasn't moving herself but whatever she was in was. It felt weird. The up and down motions made my equilibrium stabilizers wobble. But the sparkling hold was tight enough around me so that I didn't jostle too much. And the ride was quiet and LONG. I decided to catch a little recharge as I waited. The mechs and femmes in charge were really letting me stay in their hold a long time. Maybe that was how it was when they had to move people like this. I hadn't had much of a look of the outside. But it had been bright for the few seconds I had.

Running through the stuff I'd heard from before. I had a feeling they were talking about me and not in a good way. But the words that they had used in the guttural language that was so different from Cybertronian continued to touch something inside me. I think I should have understood them but I guess I was missing a software update? Again I shrugged my programming telling me that the bots in their adult frames would handle it. IT was ingrained that sparklings weren't supposed to be able to answer all the questions or do complex tasks. But a niggling feeling at the back of my CPU again was telling me just the opposite.

IT was sometime later that my femme creator spoke to me through our synced spark link again. _**Sparkling? **_she asked calm like before.

_**Femme creator? **_I asked back in response.

_**We are in an airship on a planet with an atmosphere. WE will have to step out of it and use floatation devices that help us to slow our decent and land on the ground below.**_

_**Acknowledged, **_I answered in standard form. I felt that slight wince of pain again.

_**Sparkling there is more. You must be prepared for what is going to happen. They are dropping a mech with us. Then there will probably be a fight with the Decepticons.**_

_**Who?**_ I felt my femme creators spark stutter just a quick beat in shock.

_**Sparkling, they are bad bots. They want to hurt us. And there will be cannon blasts and fighting. IT will be dangerous and I will protect you as everyone else will. We are trying to rescue someone.**_

_**Rescue?**_ I asked wondering. _**Are we rescuing Steel? You mentioned her when talking to the medic who hardlined me. Is that why you're sad?**_

I heard a pained cry from her vocalizer. _**Yes, Sparkling, we are trying to rescue Steel and her mech creator. **_And that was when I realized she must be close to them.

_**Femme creator, will you then be happy? Will this empty feeling that has been here in my spark but not hurting me come back? **_The pained cry was emitted again.

_**Yes, **_she said quietly whispering to me in our bond, _**Now prepare yourself and don't be frightened when we jump. And don't fear the gun fire or shouting. No one is mad at you. But in war many things happen that are not expected so be comforted by that. And soon everything will be as it should be again.**_

_**Yes, femme creator.**_

XXX

The free falling was exhilarating as we jumped from the plane. I felt like I could fly even though my protoform didn't look like it would be a flyer. There was a jerk suddenly that slowed our decent that was followed by a few other jerks that must have been other floatation apparatus to help our bodies fall to the ground in a safe manner. But we were close to something that I could feel through my mothers plating as we descended. IT called to me but it didn't seem familiar at the same time. It wanted me to do something but my CPU couldn't understand what it wanted.

All the way down there was a feeling that I was missing something more than just the empty piece of my spark. There was an ache that started to deepen despite the warmth and encompassing spark of my femme creator. Something was pushing in my processor that was uncomfortable and hurt. I started to click at my femme creator. She strengthened the hold on my spark that helped dull down the encroaching programming in my helm. And behind my femme creators back I felt that pull it felt apart of me but the tiny shard that resonated with my spark was so small and the expectation of being filled went unanswered.

"What is happening?" I called to my femme creator from inside her being pulled so many different ways.

"It is ok my sparkling," she said to me as we finally dropped to the ground. There were then shouts of soldiers in that guttural language that was so confusing. There were words slipping into my processor that were finally starting to unscramble and make sense but only like one out of twenty. The snippets were bothersome. I shook my head trying to clear it. The sliver that had resonated with in me demanding I sync with it, I finally realized was slightly farther away now as my femme creator detached us from whatever we were attached to.

The pressure inside my head was becoming harder to ignore even with the strengthening of my mothers spark sync. She couldn't keep it back any more and so her chest armor opened and I was thrust into the light of a large barren place. It was bright and warm but not like my femme creator's spark. It was a harsh dry heat and I fluttered my optics to the femme holding me. She was beautiful and I recognized her. But then as she turned I caught those words of the beings around me small pink and quick and so familiar. And the name was what was the key that broke the damn inside my processor that rang like a bell, "Optimus."

I cried out and my mother held me to her chest and her spark flared brightly and I could feel it through her chest even as someone had hardlined my wrist port. It must have been Ratchet. The pain coming back into my mind was like being torn from a frozen state and thrown into boiling water that was tempered somewhat by my mothers spark. All I could do was call for her. "MOMMY!"

"Hold on my daughter!" she said as she held me with great effort.

"Fixing firewalls and reordering coding!" Ratchet called to both of us. The jumble in my head began to come into a sort of order and things about were making sense. The orders being barked. The Autobots voices registering as who they were. The past traumas becoming resolidified in my mind again from my human life. Ratch briefly flinched away from that programming but pressed on categorizing everything into neat files that were organized by human chronology and then my memories from waking up in the space ship to now.

And thus the pain in my head began to fade and my tense body relaxed even as the ache in my spark set in with a deep pulsing throb. Ratchet could finally pull out of my head and look at me. I knew we were in the desert waiting for Sam. I had managed to keep the Prime here on this plain so his spark didn't leave completely but I hadn't been able to bring him back only Sam with the matrix could do that now. So I turned away from my mother who almost cried in relief when she heard that word in my link with her.

She was glad I was back I could FEEL it within my every wire and strut. I would be thankful later but now I could only think of one thing. Daddy. But he laid their looking dead and dull. Ratchet had done some repair work on him and I could see the welds and rework of certain places. He knew he was still alive so to speak. The sliver I'd kept of him had done its job. My mind pieced together the rest. Sam must have called and we were dragged to literal BFE with my dad and my mom to see this through.

"Oh Steel," my mother intoned behind me and hugged me close even as I looked at my father's body lay on the sand as if discarded like a child's toy. The irony would have made me laugh if I didn't want to see him get up and kick some ass so bad. But I loved my mother who had suffered the same as me and I swept a good dose of love and gratitude down the bond as well as some protective love making sure she was holding up ok. The choked sob or what sounded like an Autobot equivalent made me look back if only for a moment. "My Steel," she said again. And I smiled.

"Yup it's me," I said to her in English.

"Don't leave again," my mother almost swore at me. I nodded wide optics at the passion in her voice. "I love you." I snuggled my back into her as the bombardment started into the sandy ground around us. They called out their battle plans and they were already moving out toward where they could see Sam running. The pyramid was now occupied by the Fallen and his lackey Megatron. It would be soon when I could be whole again. I just hope this works like it's supposed to because right now Sam's just got a sock of fairy dust…


	19. Welcome Back

I watched the human who had turned down my dad run across the burning sand with his broken hand. The boy in all senses of the word practically flew over the ground holding fast to the woman I'd become attached to. Now that this whole thing was almost done I had to follow them more closely. It was a stray thought on how everything would be shaped now that I was here. Then I saw William Lennox catch him suddenly puling him into the relative safety of their squad. At least they had weapons. But even as they settled in their meager cover I saw the large Decepticon that shielded itself with large curved plates as it shot directly over their heads. The only thought with it so close to Sam and Mikaela and Will that I now knew personally maybe even considered family was, NO!

They were so small and vulnerable in this place even the soldiers. I watched feeling the pull of an odd sensation from the fragment of the spark in my father's chest. I think as a Primes daughter there were things I was meant to understand and protecting the weak was one of them. It was written on my spark or soul rather long ago when there was no one to protect a child in the night from her own kin. As it was it became my mantle to protect others and in that second I could feel my spark sync with my fathers just for a second, a flicker reminding me he was almost there. But things happen so closely to the movie script I remembered. The encouraging glimmer of my fathers spark was drowned in the following events.

With the Decepticons so close I knew something had to give and it came in the form of the black bird Jetfire. He flew haphazardly into the fray and tumbled out of the sky on to the sand in to a summersault. Crashing through a crumbling building he simply walked up to the Decepticon that was smaller than him and cut him in half with his cane/ax. He was larger than I had thought. He would have been a real fearsome foe had he chosen to stay on the other side. But he was ours for now any way. He fought monologueing about his glory and he earned every word of it. It wasn't any surprise to me when the ground began to explode and Scorpnock came up from the ground hooking himself into Jetfire's internal workings. That noise of ripping wires, hoses, and metal was grating and had me covering my audios turning them down to escape the scraping gurgle. The blue energon poured from him as he finally extracted Scorpnock from himself and pounded his CPU with one fist with out much effort. If only the old bot had been quicker. But in his own words he was "too old for this scrap."

I looked on as he finished the scorpion looking Decepticon and then he fell. Unfortunately, it was then we heard the jets coming up behind us and then fly over. Sam and Mikaela and the soldiers were running toward us. They were gonna carpet bomb the whole place. I cried out reaching for the way everyone had run to get Sam and Mikaela. There were still bots out there that hadn't come back yet. Grasping the air between them and I, it was useless I knew but I couldn't help it. I didn't want this to happen now. If I'd had to do this over again I think I would just have told them the whole damn mess. I started to cry as they loosed their bombs and they collided with the ground. The concussive blasts could be felt through the air and reverberated through my metal frame.

My mind whirled at the implications of this. People were dying, bots might be dying, at least SOME Decepticons were dying but that was a small consolation. But watching them loom forward in the unbelievable force made me completely rethink my position on not changing the future and making Sam and Mikaela and EVREYONE go through this. I'd known and I didn't tell them. Death and destruction were reigning down on us and I'd had the ability stop it and I hadn't. It was like so long ago when I'd known what was happening to me wasn't right and I could have told my family but didn't, couldn't. IT would have torn the family apart. They wouldn't believe me. I was just a kid. Why did I always have to have this kind of information that could change things but in the end it really wasn't mine to tell? I yelled in a fit of frustration and guilt. He shouldn't have done that to me! I cried in my head and in my bonds. Nothing was making much sense. And I shouldn't have to watch this since I wasn't allowed to tell my new parents this devastation was coming. Like I wasn't allowed to tell about what in my human life was happening to me. I was a baby again a child again why should a child bear this burden?

Crying, screaming was my only outlet. I watched then as Sam just another child like me like Mikaela, caught in all this shit. He broke off from the group running as fast as he could to dad who lay at my mother's feet. I couldn't be farther than a few feet away from him without feeling the emptiness grow. Sam's eyes connected with my optics and we seemed to share a thought, a purpose suddenly. He knew me and my father and he wanted to make it right for me, for himself, for the world. There was more at stake than just us now. There was hope building between us as I saw him eat up the ground. And then looming out of the clouds of dust and fire HE came.

Megatron reminded me of the devil himself. But he wasn't. That must have been reserved for the Fallen. But Megatron was such a close second. But his pointy visage and silver glean came into focus right behind Sam and suddenly the shock of what was going to happen made time almost stop. I watched as the plasma blasts exploded next to him and then right behind him throwing the boy head over heals into the hard packed dirt not far from us. Only maybe 20 feet. We had missed the happy ending by twenty feet. And I saw the boy who had saved my father's life once and attempted to again crunch against the ground with force that would have crushed something vital. And the fragile hope that had built between me and him as an understanding was suddenly broken like his body.

Somewhere in my mind I knew this was going to happen. It was how it was supposed to happen. But irregardless of what the script in my head said, my faith and hope now lay dieing with Sam. I was utterly still in my mothers arms. My spark pulsed. And I heard the tanks, and Autobots around me shooting and fighting back the devil that had come to take Sam away from us and take everything with him. I couldn't remember if they were successful at the moment. I didn't even care. The small fragile human like I had been once was on the ground prone unmoving. There was no heartbeat. I could tell that from where I was hanging from my mother's arms. Mikaela's crys wound their way into my audios also. I cringed at the noise inside myself but couldn't muster the will to move outwardly. The shocks I heard knowing it would do no good and that whatever made humans themselves, our soul/spark was already gone. And the silvery sand that had escaped the sock he'd protected with his life slipped to the sand now meaning nothing.

I felt that snap when he left this plane and severed the last thread of life that was Sam. My father's small spark sliver that had stayed lit by shear force of will was flickering. A small voice kept telling me, this is meant to happen. But how could 'meant' matter in the face of such loss. The guilt was a horrible weight on top of the loss of hope. The desire to move, talk, or even live seemed to be seeping from my frame. And in the seconds that ticked by on my chronometer just put more time between me and the moment I'd lost everything. My spark was cold but continued to beat as my mother's kept a pulse for both of us. She was so strong. Stronger than me to keep going when her mate of millions of years was lying almost dead with the last vestiges of his spark guttering out like a candle in the wind. But she was that sun that kept burning even when all the fuel was gone. She'd become a red giant or a neutron star if it suited her. And what drove her now was keeping me with her until…? Until what? She couldn't do it forever.

And then that flare of power that threw Sam back into his body and reformed the matrix from the glitter that had been their before, whipped through the desert air and toward me and the other Autobots. The others seemed not to notice accept the Autobots around. The could sense things that humans could not but Sam knew. And he breathed again I saw him take in that first breath. The matrix glowed and he grabbed it as he stood with no qualms about what he had to do. He was so sure in that moment as I was when I knew I had to go with my father to the clearing where he had saved Sam not days before. His eyes now clear darted to mine only for a brief half a second but the understanding was once again realized. He hobbled and limped his way toward my father's dark and dinged body. I moved for the first time again reaching for him and my mother unwrapped one arm from me and held a hand out to him.

Grabbing her hand to help himself on top of the large blue and red Prime, He took the help and then let go once positioned. The Matrix glowed brilliantly and we could feel the power rippling through the air again and I watched as he stabbed it down to the flickering piece of blue that danced slightly in his chest. Sam screamed his body protesting his movements but the guttural noise was joined by my Cybertronian cry. My voice mixed with his. And when the Matrix hit the small shard inside my father's chest there was an outpouring of power throughout his body and down the links. My mother held to me but hit her knees as his bonds were swung wide open surging with the power that pulsed in his body.

Then his optics lit and they opened his intakes stuttered to life trying to remove the sand that had collected in the still vents. The sheer volume of force that washed down the links to us was unlike anything I'd ever felt. He eclipsed both my mother and I in our sparks. The fact that we were our own people was almost lost in the brilliance of his own spark. But his base programming protected us both from being swept up in the power and being lost permanently. He loved us and at his core he knew if we were lost so would he. And my father held us inside his spark like fine thin crystal that needed to be shielded and safeguarded. My mother, my father and I were finally complete again and whole in our bonds as ourselves and filled to overflowing in our links. All of this was felt in the time it took him to get to a sitting position and he locked optics with my mother then turned toward the boy who'd orchestrated his ability to come back to his family. "Boy you came back for me!" he would have hugged him and us if he'd had the time but he knew we were in the middle of battle. He'd already received the basics from his troops the minute his CPU was active.

The air was then almost alive with a shockwave that moved at the speed of light with a new more malevolent power that ripped through time and space. The Fallen the almost devil of the transformer universe. I'd forgotten him in my joy of basking in my father's spark. At that point in time if he'd consumed me in his radiant blue I'd have welcomed the oblivion because to be apart of something that pure and that wonderful might have been better than just being me. But as that monster appeared it shattered the tentative return of my father as his red gaze passed over me and my mother and he stabbed at the humans. I cried again. I couldn't take any more death not so close not after I'd just gotten him back. And then he was on top of my father like Sam had just been to bring him back but he was going to kill him again. I knew it. In the movie he'd taken the matrix and run but that made no sense. Why had the Fallen left my father in the movie but not now as he withdrew the matrix from my father's spark chamber and the burning power of his spark fell to a low that hadn't existed before the trauma in the forest.

"My Matrix," I heard as he drew back his magic staff angling it toward my father. That was enough and my cries turned louder as the threat of having him taken from me again was too much. The power rose from somewhere inside my spark and the Call of the Lost was released against the one of the original 13 the very one who had wanted to leave the sparklings without its protection. I hated how the fire from this had to burn from my spark and the edges of my very essence had to crumble before I could reach for this power. But using it to save those who I loved and my daddy and the world at large was worth the chance that I might not be able to find all the pieces in the end. The stray thought that there were so many pieces any way what were a few shards lost? The pain then took over and the parts of me that were adult and from a previous life that was after I'd grown was silenced in the bright light that formed from the babybot programming and the small girl that had merged with it in that splitting so long ago.

In the face of this powerful weapon of a pure spark and processor shattering ring that resounded inside his helm he pulled back and the world flashed again as he withdrew suddenly as he'd come retreating to his solar harvester trying to complete his mission from thousands of years ago and get his revenge. And while I had a vague sense of what was going on around me the output of my energy had been so great that my body just didn't have any more to even move. Limp again in my mom's arms but somewhat awake I heard the scratching of plates against the sand and the cries from humans and Autobots alike for my father to get up. My bonds were raw and I was so tired. So much I expected from this little body. I forget sometimes I'm a baby. I wanted this. And sometimes I don't. And for the first time I felt that tired feeling from a previous life.

Then through my bonds the exhaustion of my spark and soul were wiped clean and I felt my fathers spark reach out to me even as he struggled to his feet. And Jetfire from the old times who had served the Fallen turned to my father and said, "I've lived such a long life and never did a thing worth doing, until now!" He looked at my mother and I realizing there was a sparkling and then looked at my dad as they both sat on their knees in the dirt, one dying and one just revived. "Optimus take my parts and you will have a power you've never known. Fulfill your destiny." And from my reclined position I couldn't miss the older bot pull his own spark from his chest and hold it out to the Prime. Jetfire fell over his body flopping over like a rag doll his spark barely staying in his loose servo. There was then an instruction to 'electrify' and it was in that second I saw what sacrifice was. I remembered what it felt like that part of me that long ago died when I buried those horrid nights in my soul to save the rest of my family from being torn apart by those who'd take us from our human caregivers. Sacrifice was a universal constant no matter which you resided in.

But from the ashes of his spark rose my father. A Prime that was pulling the parts from Jetfire's protoform as his spark was linked with my father's for long enough for the armor to know it's knew owner. And in that junction of their sparks there was a temporary link in which I felt echo's of the old mech. And as his spark faded and his essence went to be with his creator, he was happy. He knew there would be a future having seen me and my father, and that made it worth it and made him happy. The parts arranged themselves as if they'd belonged there since his first adult frame and the infusion of spark energy pushed his lower energon levels up and suddenly his spark was burning brightly again like it had when it had been in contact with the Matrix. He stood tall and strong and vocalized his favorite battle call, "LET'S ROLL!" I knew that he would succeed this time and there was no need to fight so hard to stay awake. So I let my optics close while my mother's spark held mine in balance. She focused all her energies into syncing my spark to hers and holding it steady. The fluctuation of spark energy from my father and the power that flowed and ebbed through the bonds as well as my calling on my own power had lead to an unstable spark pulse.

I gave myself over to her sync and let the feelings come through her bond with my father and get it second hand in a buffered link. I could hear the battle raging farther off then I thought it had been. Maybe it was because I had let myself slip just a little deeper into the sync. But there was still explosions and yelling going on even though I felt the power from my father. There was no pain, or doubt as he soared into his battle against not only the Fallen but also Megatron. He had two powerful combatants but he'd beat the slag outta them I knew. There were several times I felt a surge of what I thought was anger twinged with a harsh rust almost like how hate would taste. And if I was feeling it through the filtered bond with my mother then my father must have been fueled by it. The flares of this feeling were I assumed when he was facing down his brother. He felt the near death of his sparkling was reason enough to kill him but the Fallen his secondary target kept getting in the way. And seeing as how he had force me to use my power again feeling like I was losing everything forcing my spark spires to splinter he wanted to take him too. There were so many reasons to see them dead but even as he hated his brother he had to destroy the Fallen first to prevent the world from ending. To know my life was just as important to him as saving the world was a comforting thought.

Then suddenly there was an emotion that was like a waterfall through my mothers body and mine when my father reclaimed the Matrix after taking down the Fallen. He'd taken his face as was custom in a leaders combat. And the reunification of the Matrix of Leadership and my fathers spark let the hatred that flowed through him to drain away and the pure love radiated through our bonds. The pure blue of his spark seemed to engulf the world and that was enough for me.


	20. Where's Sam?

Mercedes as always your one of my favorite muses and reviewers! Thanks!

XXX

The blue of my fathers spark was all I knew for a while. My mother's was there too but with the matrix a part of his spark it was so much…MORE…than it had been before. Now that I'd had tine to reconnect with him it might have scared me if I'd let my self think about it. But now I just didn't care. I'd have plenty of time to freak out later.

With both sparks wrapped around my babybot self my adult pieces felt slightly rattled. So much had happened in the last three days and I hadn't had a minute to process it. So much death and destruction followed by guilt could have crushed everything that I was but sheltered there, it insolated from the full brunt of the burden. I knew we'd deal with it later.

My father walked back toward us across the sand. With every step it he was just a bit brighter. The holy relic that had been gifted to the original 13 like the tree of life had been to humans was still here and 'alive'. That small piece of Gods power in my fathers spark was almost unbearable in its overwhelming glory. Coupled with the innate power of a prime I didn't know if there was any thing more powerful on this world or any other. Trying to just retain myself in its presence was a job in itself without worrying about anything else.

But as my dad came close enough to take my limp form from my mom he held me closer to the brilliance and the uncertainty of everything inside me was collected and pushed aside gently. The power radiated from him and through his chest plates and into my very being energizing my tired body. Energon was being created and infused into my circulatory system and the weariness that accompanied such tragedy was erased. I wrapped my arms around his chest armor in a hug I'd wanted to grace him with for what seemed like years. My mother was at his right and he pulled her to his frame. Finally we could reunite as a family now that the danger had passed. And even though I'd not been seen by Ratchet my body healed. My spark was restored and the cracks that had permeated it since the first use of the power were resolidified and inside my soul I felt that all the shards of my time I'd been in this life come together. Nothing but primus itself could completely heal my soul but sitting in the light of my fathers spark it felt as close to perfect as I could get now.

XXX

Now feeling like a person that was in control of her faculties with the energy boost I sat up in my dad's arms and looked out at the scene around us. I looked at the pyramids which had been standing as long as written history had. The one most famous in everything from movies to ancient text was now in large pieces. What Devastator missed my father's blast didn't and the fate of the world was more important but I mourned its loss for the future humans who would not see it. It was a monument to a human past that spanned at least four millennia and that was a record for them. And then I looked around at the Autobots taking in the injuries that they had sustained. Ironhide looked the most obviously hurt but I tried to find the femmes and couldn't. This worried me I seemed to remember them probably dieing during this battle when retrieving Sam. Oh Primus don't let them be dead. If Ironhide wasn't on deaths door yet he would be if Chromia was dead. I looked up at my dad. If it could bring him back and then Sentinel then it could bring them back too.

"Daddy! Where's femmes?" he looked at me sadly and then moved toward the area they had cleared for a makeshift Autobot med bay. Using large pieces of building that supported the bots they were supported off the sand protecting their parts from getting even more sand in their delicate systems. On two large stone slabs they there were two smaller femme bodies with their optics dark. He looked at them sadly. Ratchet had done all he could I knew but they their sparks were failing with the amount of damage they had been dealt to their bodies. "Daddy you hafta use it!" I said grabbing a plate nearest me and shaking it in hopes of conveying the urgency of my statement. He looked at me with that sparkbroken expression again. Through the link I realized he didn't know he could.

"Damn it!" I cursed to get his attention. I used a human word cuz I wanted to get my point across that it was ME who was talking. "The Matrix USE IT Daddy!" I motioned like I had a knife and thrust my hand forward. I didn't want to send him the picture in my head of him bringing Sentinel to life. That would just haunt me forever. He then floated the matrix out from his chest plates as I'd seen him do in the third movie. I didn't know how long it took him to figure this out between movies but he knew what to do now. A little hope began to trickle down the bonds as I felt my mother and father understand what I was suggesting. HE used it like I'd watched him do with the other Prime. And with the shocking blue wave that traveled through the small blue frame of Chromia I saw that flittering light blaze and shine again like it had never been weak.

My father stepped back knowing that her spark was stabilized and Ratchet came running toward the femmes looking at what he'd done. "Oh Primus! Her spark is stable! And the chamber is not breached. She will remain online now Prime." With that the medic began to pull her chassis back together as quickly as he could. Jolt was beckoned probably over comm links and my father shoved the matrix in the other femmes chest and she too shook like she was being shocked and then went limp with her spark brilliant and strong.

I cheered, "Daddy! No die today!" I smiled at him and hugged him.

"Yes my daughter no autobot's die today," he snuggled my cheek. "You knew that the matrix could bring back a transformer?" he asked. I nodded suddenly not wanting to talk about all that. I hid my face in his armor the guilt starting to come back. I sighed sinking into his arm saddened by the reminder. I could have just curled in on myself. But he didn't let me. I could sense he didn't understand my intense guilt. He would. And maybe this would be the thing that finally turned my new parents from me. Maybe he wouldn't believe me like my other parents? I didn't know and the sudden insecurity was back like a demon that couldn't be exorcised.

"What is this guilt you carry my sweetspark?" he asked me with gentleness.

"I knew," was all I could get out before the twitters and clicks of the babybot took over. The fear triggered the reverting to babybot programming. I was trying to wade through the younger part of myself to reason through the rush of feelings but there was never any type of barrier that could withstand that childish fear.

"Knew what Steel?" he encouraged me to continue as the surge of fear and looming hopelessness bombarded them. His spark was attempting to curl around mine as my mother warmth was wrapping around me also but I refused to take the invitations as I prepared for the inevitable.

"Knew this," I swept my hand over the desert scene indicating the events that had wrought this. "Knew Fallen. Knew you hurt. Knew Sam dead. Knew matrix. Knew everything!" I wailed. "Humans dead, bots hurt, Megaslag run away. And I know."

My father sighed pulling me closer. "My daughter already bearing so many burdens for such a small child. You are not guilty of this atrocity my sparkling, those who perpetrated this are. The Fallen and Megatron are to blame not you. Knowing about this was not yours to reveal to us sweetspark. One small child cannot hold the fate of our family in her hands. That is my job and Primus no matter the information you have. It was not in your power to affect these events." My mouth components hung open and I was completely still. Then my cries were shrill and high pitched as there were parts of me moved from such along time ago.

"Why they not tell me that! Why they didn't tell me not my fault, its ok, not for me? I don wannit! Didna wannit!" I cried into his armor for a child inside me denied this.

"I was not your mech creator then sweetling," he told me in a soft tone stroking my helm. "But parents are not perfect my youngling, but I believe you. We believe you. We love you. It is not your fault my little one. You bear no burden child. You may let it go." My cries were heard for miles as I didn't have anything else to say. Somehow that molten thick putrid lava that had been capped in that well inside thinned a little and just a few millimeters evaporated off the top. It wasn't much but it felt so good to be told that and to have just that little bit disappear in the absolution from my father. It wasn't the same but it didn't matter I could have it here and that felt like enough.

XXX

The emotional outburst had lead me into a sort of forced recharge of about an hour. Finally reset from the toll, I opened my optics to my father's large frame still in his arms. He was giving orders to some of the bots who were still in one piece. They were still looking for Decepticon survivors to offline as well as human casualties and survivors. "Daddy?" I asked him and prodding the bond to get his attention.

He stopped mid sentence and looked at me and smiled. "Hello sweetspark," he rumbled with the bass of his voice and the warmth it evoked in the bond made me smile back.

"Where's Sam?"

"With the human doctors," he said confused.

"NO nononononono" I shot up and looked around from my vantage point. "Ratchet!" I screeched. I was kicking to be let down. Many didn't know I could run cuz I chose to crawl most of the time cuz it was just easier but my father put me down on the sand rather than see me hurt myself struggling to get down. The scream had the desired affect getting the medics attention. I made it about 6 fast steps until I resorted to the crawling again in frustration over the sand. I wasn't very fast but I had a head start over the rest and I was on my way toward the tents that had been set up to take care of the wounded. I saw that there were several helicopters. They must have brought supplies and doctors. But human doctors weren't in the plan for Sam. I didn't want anything to happen to him like I'd read in other fics from my other life. I knew what governments would do to get a piece of him and his ability to come back from the dead and bring a bot back too? This was a recipe for disaster.

Maybe that is why he fought so hard to have a "normal" life cuz of what happened last time. I wonder what they did that time. How long they kept him under "observation" or whatever. I would have to ask that was never divulged and I didn't have all the answers damn it!

It was then a large yellow hand picked me up from the sand by my scruff bar so he didn't pull sand into my workings. I felt the brush of Ratchet's spark on mine and let him feel my worry. "What is you hurry sparklet?" he asked me his faceplates scrunched into a questioning look.

"Sam!" I said by way of explanation.

"What about him? I scanned him and sent him to the human doctors…" I shook my head as he sat me in his hand.

"Nononononono!" I commanded and pointed toward him. "Get Sam!"

"He is human he needs a human doctor sparkling," he was trying to explain patiently.

"No take him be mean to him," I looked into the medic's optics willing him to understand. "Humans not good to Sam. Need you!" I pointed again. His optics opened wide again and then looked between me and the tent and then started a quick pace over toward the tent. He put me on my knees as he couldn't go into the tent. I crawled toward where I saw his parents. He was being examined by at least two people. Though they didn't look like the other docs that I saw as I crawled my way toward them. My face was set in a stern expression as I crawled between the two pushing my way between them and then pulled myself up on Sam's bed between them and him. Sam seemed singed around the edges and he had burns and broken bones that hadn't been dressed yet. That pissed me off first of all.

The 'doctors' in front of me looked at me and then at Sam. "What is this?" one asked. He was in a different color of scrubs than the others.

"This is Steel," I smiled at Sam and put my small hands around his good arm that wasn't burnt. "What are you doing here sparkling?" he asked me. I looked from him to the two people who were still standing there not taking the hint.

"Sam!" I smiled at him again and crawled up on the bed. I saw Mikaela on the other side of him and his parents were behind the cot. "Mika!" I cried at her and snuggled between them on the cot. They smiled down at me and scooted over to allow me some space. Soon the steps of the medic could be heard behind the tent's thin wall as he had come to rest behind where I'd crawled to, tracking me. I tugged on Sam's pants away from his injuries. "Ratchet," I stated matter of factly pointing to the large shadow behind us. The two in front of us paled. I looked up at their faces and sneered. They both seemed to share a look then looked to me.

"What is this that you have let in to your cot Samuel?" one asked trying to get his attention back and to make him answer his questions.

"A sparkling, Optimus' kid. Why?" he asked suddenly suspicious. From behind us there was a rustle as the tent wall was raised.

"Sam?" Ratchet addressed.

"Hey Ratch," he said familiarly. Ratchet smiled at the two and me on the cot but then scanned Sam again and realized he hadn't been seen too.

"Why haven't your burns been dressed or your bones been set?" his tone demanded then turned his optics onto the scrub covered men. "Why hasn't he been cared for yet?" he asked harshly. The two paled even more under the blue gaze of the medic.

"This is a human matter," one was brave enough to say.

"Like pit it is. He is under our protection and I won't have our humans be made to wait while you interrogate him or leave him to suffer while you take your sweet merry time!" he all but yelled into the tent and all went quiet. He then plucked up Sam, Mikaela and I gently into two cupped hands and back up bent over then straightened. My father and mother were just making their way over to the tent also.

"What is all the ruckus?" Optimus asked looking at me expectantly. With me he never knew if it was good or bad news. Usually good though.

"The humans haven't seen to Sam yet or Mikaela! They were interrogating him on being dead and the Matrix and bringing you back Optimus." Ratchet's cross tone threatened flying wrenches in the forecast. My father looked at me then at Sam.

"They haven't delivered medical services to you?" Sam just shook his head and then went limp. I squeak and snuggled into Mikaela scared of what happened.

"No worries small one I just put him out of his pain he was in a lot. They hadn't even administered analgesics!" My dad rumbled his displeasure at Ratchets report. "Here Mikaela," he handed her a bottle of water from subspace then some pills. "You are not in need of such strong medications as Sam. His heart beat was quite high." Mikaela nodded and then my father took me from Ratchet so he could see to the two humans who were more family than anything any more. I watched as the medic took them over to where Bumblebee had been designated to search. HE was called back to protect the two humans by my dad. His parents then appeared at my dad's feet. He hadn't talked to them yet.

"Mr. Prime," Mr. Witwicky started. Sam's mom was beside him holding his arm.

"Yes Mr. Witwicky?" he asked he was kinda dreading this talk but also new it was his responsibility.

"I know that this crazy war you brought here was dangerous for my son." He stopped trying to gather his thoughts or so it looked like. I cringed. "But, I know that life isn't always what we think is going to be. He's involved in this shit whether we want it or not and he's an adult now. He doesn't want to extract himself from this mess," he looked up at my dad with intense eyes. I looked down at him and something in me again from long ago made the clicks and twitters of soft crying begin again. I watched that dad and he was a good dad as much as he embarrassed him he took care of his son. He was even talking to a giant robot for his benefit. The human suddenly looked at me as I watched him over the edge of my dad's arm. "What's wrong with your daughter?" he asked suddenly he'd know what I was and who I was because I'd visited with Sam and Mikaela before we had moved to the middle of the Indian Ocean. Again my father was taken aback how the humans concerned themselves with young that weren't even their species. It showed how unconsciously they had bound themselves with the Autobots. But he didn't exactly know what to tell the man.

"She is moved by your love for you son. She is fond of Samuel," he said petting my back comfortingly. His bond was awash with love and comfort that curled around my spark like my mothers did and I accepted it this time.

"So I saw," he kinda smiled when he said this. "I think she saved him from those men in the scrubs. They hadn't done anything for Sam and I was beginning to wonder if they were going to or not."

"My daughter had a notion that they were going to take Sam away to somewhere and not treat him correctly," he revealed to him. The two parents were shocked.

"Well how would she know?" his mother asked.

"She is special," was all he said and smiled. "She wanted to protect him and so took Ratchet to see to the boy and his femme," my father continued. Sam's mother looked up in to my optics that were still sad but I was quiet.

"Thank you little one. If that did happen I don't think he would have come out on the other end for the better." I smiled.

"Like Sam," I told them. "Bad men from…" I pointed the direction of the USA or so I thought. They both looked confused.

My father interpreted for me. "She thinks they were from a group similar to sector seven that we encountered the first time we saw you that took you and your son." Judy's face clouded.

"They better not try that shit again," she barked angrily.

"Well with Ratchet they will be safe and they are being put in Bumblebee's care while we are here. They will not be left alone again. I underestimated your governments will to get a hold of our technology and information on us. Do you wish a guardian also?" They shook their heads.

"No just take care of our baby," Judy said with sincerity. My dad and I nodded. She laughed.

"Ok littlun I believe you." She waved us off as she took her husband to get some much needed food and rest. I smiled at my dad proud of myself. It felt good to finally be able to avoid a disaster before he was harmed.

"My little Prime," he told me with pride. I could feel the golden glow of that pride flood the link from both parents. And suddenly that weight I'd felt even though my parents had told me it wasn't my fault felt a little lighter. In my fathers arms I was taken back to the Autobot medbay so my dad could get some much needed work. I opted to crawl into my mothers sparkling hold. It felt good to be wrapped in her blue spark that was the warm blanket to my cold night. It was so safe and accepting. Where my dad's was power hers felt at peace and I enjoyed that buffering for the moment so I could settle myself into my mind and not sleep but rest until the ship that I knew was on its way finally made an appearance and we would be on our way home.


	21. Matrix

Thank you Mercedes, Sakura and hermine! Love my reviews! You inspire me to keep going on this fic. It's so much fun message if you have any ideas or have something you wanna see!

XXX

I remember swaying in my fathers sparkling hold and finally being aware of it. I figured we'd gotten on the boat at some point in the night. Besides nightmares there was little my mother or father could do to wake me up. When they transformed or walked or moved I just moved with them. I didn't know ho long we'd been sailing but I was done recharging for the time being and I wanted out and to explore.

I probed my father and got a grumbled answer through the bonds and my sparkling hold opened a little and let the light from his spark in, above me. And there I saw it just a foot above me nestled in his park which I touched many times glowed differently with the Matrix mixed with it. I reached up with my thin arm and managed to stroke one of the silver tips. IT felt like lightning with out the pain of getting shocked running through my systems. And I was surprised when it didn't' blow me into bits with its power. But instead it filled me to almost overflowing and it knew me and with a possessive surge I felt like it had claimed me and would own me one day. But that didn't make much sense to either adult or babybot me and with that ominous controlling feeling I began to wail.

My cries weren't common and when they happened I could get a lot of attention. My fright and worry was being carried down the bonds like a flood and both the feeling and cry awoke my mom and dad. I'd pulled my hand back the second it had claimed me. And my father could feel the echoes of the power from the Matrix. Both parents could discern the overflow from my systems. My father movements were quick and forced as he pulled me from his sparkling hold trying to put space between me and the relic. But the damage whatever it was had already been done.

The thought of being possessed in any shape or form scares the hell outta me and I wanted no part of this. The thought froze my soul and spark to the strut and the distress was jarring. My father handed me to my mother so she could pull me to her calming warm spark and he could deal with the Matrix. He sat and turned his gaze inward toward the power in his chest. I could tell he was somewhat distant in the bonds but the echoing power in our link made me shy away from his bond. Ignoring my avoidance of the link, I could feel him using his concentration to dig deeper into his self. Curling into my mother, her spark began to filter my fathers and tried to unravel the close connection that the Matrix seemed to have formed with me. Her spark could dampen the affects but not break it. It almost felt like I'd been branded with what I didn't know and I cringed inwardly and outwardly from that thought. In my mother's bond I heard her whisper to me in my revulsion, "Sweetspark, do not fear. We will not anything let claim you sweetling." I continued to cry even as she continued to mitigate the effects of the Matrix.

The bots were unsettled and moved in close to my mother's location allowing their sparks to reach out to mine through the knowing trying to give me comfort also. Their Prime was sitting against the wall with out any warning going slack and they had their sparkling screaming bloody murder cringing away from her father. They all were concerned about me but at the same time nervous about their leaders condition. But a wave of relief quickly rippled through the sparks that were close to me that I assumed was my mother telling them what happened but they continued to rally around me as my mother rocked back and forth where she stood.

My father suddenly came out of his trance looking state with a start like he'd been tossed back in his body. The power in the link flared again but didn't seem to touch me. There was a barrier that cut off most of the connection to the Matrix but let in my father's thoughts and feelings. The force of my family when they rallied together was something to really behold. In the back of my mind I marveled at the inherent strength in their sparks just bonded as they were to protect me. He looked at me careful to stay where he was not making any sudden moves. His hands were raised in a surrendering position. The hurt that my father felt being force to keep his distance was searing my insides. I wanted to go to him but the Matrix had to be disentangled first.

I saw him open his chest plates and pull the doubled edged remnant of our Primes of old from his spark. The power that laced his spark dulled somewhat down to pre Matrix levels and he closed his chest panels. Ironhide immediately came forward and took it from Optimus as risk to himself but suffered no will effects as it was set in to his servo. Only Primes could levitate the artifact. The weapons specialist wrapped his fingers round it and stepped away to the farthest back corner of the cargo hold in the ship. Then my father was suddenly free of the Matrix's power and I could feel his bond clear and true as he came forward and took me from my mother carefully. It was comforting to feel him again without the foreign power in his spark that seemed so much like him at first but had defiantly established itself as something completely different.

"My daughter," He hugged me tightly to his chest his spark syncing with mine for a much needed sharing of deep connection.

"Daddy," I cried in answer to his words. Ratchet I could feel next to us scanning us. From the edge of my awareness my mother was right behind me shielding me continually with her spark but I could still feel in that far corner something pulling at my spark. I gave the weapons specialists' hand a dower look and then snuggled into my father.

"It's alright Steel," he comforted me. Rubbing my back and lying me up on his shoulder I sort of hung my arm over the side of his shoulder and let the other wrap around his neck cabling. He did his best to put as much of his armor pieces between me and the Matrix also. They had an odd effect on the feeling between me and it. The tentative tether on my spark seemed to feel slightly looser but still looped around my soul. The slack on the hold was a slight relief.

"What the pit happened Prime?" Ratchet asked hard pressed for answers.

"You all know she's my daughter since she bonded to me," he got a round of nods. Elita continued to stay quiet waiting for his explanation. "The Matrix of Leadership knows Primes even when they are sparklings and it was recognizing that in her. However there is a trade when accepting its power. IT took her willingness to touch it as her acquiescence to this unspoken pact between bearer and Matrix." My sniffles remained as he wrapped his arms around me still keeping the relic at bay.

"What is the exchange, my love?" Elita asked.

"When a bearer accepts the Matrix you are branded with its power and after being claimed fully the power is yours to wield. The Primes who sacrificed themselves help put this safeguard on it because of the Fallen's misuse. Your will must be in coordinance with Primus or it is useless. Their sacrifice allowed this connection to the well of sparks and thus the creator."

"And the price that the bearer pays is…?" Sideswipe asked a skeptical note to his tone.

"In turn you are a tool of Primus directly. Having direct access to his power also gives him direct access to your spark. It can be a great burden to a small spark or one that is still healing. The inability to shy away from the light that's invited into your spark can be hard to bear when you still need to expel the darkness even darkness that is not your own." He said this for my benefit I knew. There was much from my previous life that wasn't my darkness that followed me but I continued to hold on to it unable to release the well's putrid contents all at once for fear it would consume me from the inside out soul and all devouring me whole. The soup that festered in there was like acid. Airing that to that type of light, pureness and power made me shiver. I didn't know if I'd ever be ready.

"She is not ready to carry the mantel of a leader, my sparkmate," Elita said softly still standing next to my father. He nodded.

"The Matrix has claimed her but it is not binding till she has accepted its powerfully. When it came in contact with her resistance and then fear it stopped the process of binding fully with her spark. The armor and spark of a Prime and mate can reverse the effects. Primus is not without foresight. IT will just take some time but she can already feel the contingent connection working loose now." I was finally settled and nodded to him still snuggled tightly into the crook of his neck.

"Well her systems are returning to normal," Ratchet diagnosed. "Her spark seems to be recovering."

"Daddy I'm sorry," I whispered to him quietly. He just nodded into my body.

"It's alright my sparkling. It is not your fault. You are so young and know not our history or the importance of such things. It is natural for you to be curious my daughter."

"And it was shiny?" I said with an almost hiccup, or the bot equivalent. That lead a rustle of laughter through the cargo hold. I then yawned and the natural way I slide into his arm being shielded from the Matrix for now and its loosening grip I took a proffered cup of energon.

XXX

Sometime later it must have been a few hours I was content enough to just lay in my fathers arms till the Matrix was completely done with me. I don't know if I could ever face that thing again but at least it didn't necessarily want me. It would be my choice eventually. My father retrieved it and joined it with his spark again and I felt the power come back but it wasn't attached to me and I knew my dad was in control of it and he would protect me. Both parents were weary for the first few minutes but I was ok with him feeling his bond even with the boost from the artifact. I just knew I would NEVER touch it again that's for damn sure at least not until I was way grown up and I had a damn good reason to, like end of the world shit or something, other than that dad could keep it!

It crossed my mind that I didn't see Sam anywhere again. I nudged my dad over the bond as to his location. "Sam is sleeping sparkling. He and Mikaela are in the same room next to the cargo hold. Bumblebee has scanners on them." I didn't like the fact that the couldn't be in here and I was the only one small enough to get in the boats hallways. As tall as a ten year old I still crawled.

"Can I go?" I asked I wanted to make sure he was ok. My father thought better of it for a moment but then relented. It wouldn't hurt to check on the boy.

"Yes but don't be gone long and don't leave the hallway," I nodded at his instruction. He put me down and I opened the door. I held myself against the wall and walked a few steps toward a door on the left side of the hall. I turned up my audios and was making sure they weren't doing anything I should not be walking in on. I heard murmuring that might be a conversation or sleep talking but I wanted to make sure. So I dropped to my knees and crawled to the door and opened it quietly. There was a small light on and I went in on my hands and knees still. It looked like the jumped into their beds when the door opened.

"Sam?" I questioned. That wasn't like them if they were up they'd talk to me. "Mika?" I asked my voice unsure. I didn't know why'd they ignore me. I crawled over not one to take the snub, I was known for being assertive among other things. I was at Sam's bed and pulled on his military issue blanket even to my metal finger tips felt rough. It fell off his head to reveal…blonde hair? I squeaked. "Sam?" The man in the bed shot up suddenly scaring me more and the other bed exploded in a flurry of movement and blankets. I screeched as I watched both people jump up and run off. I crawled toward the door and looked the way they ran and narrowed my eyes. None of the bots had looked down the hallway yet assuming Sam had been playing with me.

Something was gong on. Where were they? I should go back to my dad and alert them but I wanted to find the kids before they were hurt too. They couldn't find them down these small halls so I hiked myself up against the wall and ran toward the intersection. Well this was technically still the same hallway so I with a somewhat clear conscious moved down toward the left the way I'd heard them run. I could hear the foot steps echoing down the hallway still distantly but then I finally lost them because after three turns I had to resort to my crawling. I was trying to figure out where they might be and on what floor when I got an idea. Sam was given a cell phone by Ratchet to keep while he was in his room it may be turned of but the chip in it wasn't I tried to ping it and it was on the other side of the ship up to floors. I sighed. Well I couldn't say that was the same hall but I went any way.

Crawling up stairs was easier now and up two flights was nothing compared to the last time I'd tried it. Once up on the correct level I was crawling in the correct direction when someone popped out of one of the room tripping over me and smacking into the other side of the hallway since they were so narrow. I sat down to look at the man on the floor who was wearing a naval uniform. When my face appeared over his he shrieked and then I shrieked back cuz he scared me. I pulled back against the wall across from his fallen form as he righted himself. The sailor looked at me and then around. "Sorry," I said shyly hoping he wouldn't get mad. He got a funny look on his face.

"They said you were human like but this is unreal," he got up seemingly unhurt and making a semi circle around where I sat against the wall. He was a young kid probably 20 or younger.

"You k?" I asked him making sure. HE didn't answer he just stared.

He then looked over his shoulder and called into the room he'd just come out of. "Hey, Tom get out here." Another soldier came out and looked down at me with wide eyes. The other one looked up at the first officer.

"This one of them robots Aaron?" the other nodded his head. "Damn they were right. Weird but kinda human." I was getting kinda pissed I was in the room, hallway, whatever, I was here and they were talking about me like I wasn't.

"HEY! I here! I'm Steel!" I yelled at them still a little broken in my English.

"Wow it can talk to."

"Not it! She. STEEL!" I growled at Tom. HE looked into my optics getting a little closer.

"OK ok. Steel. What are you doing so far from the cargo hold?"

"Sam and Mika," I answered and then crawled from between the two of them in the direction of the pinged chip.

"Hey there speed racer," Aaron said putting a hand on my shoulder. I bumped him off but someone else came out of another room to see what the ruckus was. IT happened to be in the room three doors down on the right where I had felt the ping come back from. IT was that same man from the tent. My eyes narrowed. "YOU!" I yelled. Three clumsy running steps and I was on my knees again cursing my Cybertronian sense of balance and all the systems it took to move. The two sailors were right behind me but I was already at the door and it slammed in my face. The sailors came up behind me and watched as I pounded on the door. "SAM!" I yelled, "MIKA!" There was a dent in the door where I'd hit it several times and I looked at it then my hand. I was shocked. But I heard some rustling around the room inside. Tom decided he should take charge of the situation and began to pull me by my shoulder away from the door.

"Ok that's it now you gotta go back to your cargo…"

I turned on him. "NO!" I plopped down on my but and wouldn't budge. He tried to pick me up and I pushed him, "SAID NO! Want Sam and Mika!" I was letting my sparkling programming kick in full force. If they wanted to play that way so could I. I heard the door click. IT was the lock. Sam and Mika wouldn't have left me out here like this and I knew they were in there I could hear their muffled voices.

"You better let her in or one of us out to get her," Mika was warning them as I was shouting at the sailors.

"Ya she is stubborn she wont give up…" he trailed off.

"I am not going to let that THING in here. You were supposed to be debriefed in the tent but that bright yellow one kidnapped you and now they are sending that little machine after you like a recon drone!" a male voice yelled at them. I pounded on the door again calling their names. When I didn't get a response I threw myself backward on the metal floor and started kicking my feet and pounding my arms in a full on temper tantrum. There were few things that got the attention of as many people as possible as a good fit. Several people were now filling the hall none of which I recognized. I cried harder. My bonds were singing with energy of my cries since my fits started. I heard a phone ring. IT was Sam's.

"Don't answer that," the male voice ordered.

"It's prime probably about his kid throwing an epic fit in the hall and you don't want me to answer? DO you want a ship to get back to land in cuz they can just walk there on the sea floor if they wanted to," he quipped. HE then answered the phone anyhow. "Yeah Op we got her," he said reassuring him. I didn't hear what my dad was saying. "No we are up a few floors in a 'briefing' room" I could hear the air quotes while still wailing. "No I haven't talk to her yet they won't let me." Suddenly the door flew open and the man was standing on the back wall pale as my optics met his. Mika was already sitting by me hushing me.

"It's ok were here sweetspark," she crooned as she gathered me into her lap on the floor against the wall. I saw Will running toward us also. Finally starting to quiet Will bent to our level.

"How did you get all the way up here darling," he asked in his soft voice stroking my helm.

"Wanted to see Sam and Mika. NO there! Bumbee said they there but no there!" I cried.

"Why would bumblebee say they were there when they were up here?" he asked to himself almost but I heard.

"NO there bad people there. Not Sam and Mika." I looked at the man over Mika's shoulder as Sam came around the table to sit with me also. I glared at the man. "You takin my Sam and my Mika gen!" I shouted.

The man looked at Will. "What is this thing doing here out of its hold?" The soldier gave the other a scathing glare.

"She is not a thing. She is a baby and she is Steel. She was looking for her friends almost like aunt and uncle and she was worried." Will scanned over the two teens with a critical eye. "Does she have a reason to be worried?" he asked pointedly.

"Of course not!"

"Then why were they not sleeping like she and the other bots thought they were?" HE didn't have a smart answer for that one.

"They took us hours ago when we were about to hit the sack and the assholes didn't give us a choice. It was 'you're gonna come and talk to us'. We didn't know they'd left someone in our room. The bots are gonna flip," Mikaela said.

Sam sighed, "They are gonna insist we sleep in the cargo hold."

"I'm beginning to think that's not a bad idea," Mikaela growled at the man. Will picked me up with a grunt.

"Come on you three. Optimus is going to fry a circuit and Bumblebee is gonna start mowing through walls if we don't get back. And 'sir'" he spat the polite name, "if there are anymore instances of deception or commandeering of these two the Autobots will be in on the conference when you're reprimanded." He paled.

We walked down the hall and to an elevator that went down to the right level and Will put me down and let Sam and Mika hold my hands as I walked between them. My father was waiting at the door as we walked in and he plucked me up and hugged me tightly and then I was passed around as was Sam and Mikaela. Will was spared the indignity.

"Sparkling don't you EVER do that again!" Elita gushed worriedly. "You scared us! I don't know how I am going to keep your father let alone myself from tearing down the walls to find you!" She hugged me tightly again. 

Bumblebee grabbed his charges. "There were life signs in the room! How did they…? How did…?"

"Its ok Bee," Sam said patting his hand.

"It's not your fault big guy," Mika told him too. They put to decoys in our beds to fool you.

My father's brow plates drew together. "This obsession with you is not acceptable. Who are these people that are demanding your presence?" They both shrugged.

I piped up from Ratchet's arms. "Man from da tent!" Ratchet made a growling noise in his chest.

"Those slaggin…" then suddenly cut off his string of profanity for my sake.

Optimus addressed Will. "Will you please investigate this? WE cannot for we are not able to traverse the ship unlike my little spy here," he rubbed a hand on my helm.

"Yeah, I'll find out where there from and make sure they have no more contact with the kids."

"Thank you my friend," he said to Will as he turned to me. "You rescued our Sam and Mikaela again did you?" They both nodded.

"That epic fit really did the job!" Sam snickered so did Mika. I laughed too.

"Sweep over!" I called. And the two teens groaned. They knew they'd bee sleeping in that cargo hold now. They shrugged and figured my dad's sleeper cab was big enough for the two of them. After that things settled down a bit and they were able to get some sleep in my dad's cab while I played with my mother. It was a fairly uneventful trip after that.


	22. ponies

We had just gotten home when I looked around my room with my mom and dad and realized I had some toys but not many that would have been played with as a human child. Many of the toys were Cybertronian in nature. After surfing the net though I'd come across Ebay a site I'd completely forgot about and started looking for toys that I'd long ago forgot I'd played with. I came across my favorite from the time I was young. They were My Little Ponies from the 80's and they were still around on Ebay any way. I decided it was time to get some of my toys back.

When I crawled to my dad's office that morning after being in the computer room with mom I was going to ask him to get me some. So I made my way to his chair and he put his hand down out of habit without even looking at who it was and plopped me on my pad absently. I wasn't very happy with the distracted greeting or lack of one. "DADDY!" I called with an unhappy tone. He looked at me immediately.

"What is it?" his optics were bright thinking something was wrong.

"NO hi?"

He chuckled at my question. "My apologies daughter," he pulled me into his arms and hugged me. "Good morning sparkling." I smiled and snuggled him and then he put me down gently and went to go pick up the pad I interrupted him from reading.

"Daddy," I said just as he picked it up.

"Yes sparkling?" he smiled at me. The patience he had was amazing. Sometimes I did things just to see if he'd answer me crossly but it never happened. He nudged me down the link knowing my testing nature with a good natured snuggle.

"Want ponies," I told him matter of factly. HE gave me a strange look.

"Why would you want an equestrian animal?" I laughed at his lack of knowledge of toys.

"NO ponies!" I sent him the site about My Little Ponies and all the toys and notes on the ones I wanted. He nodded at the data I sent him.

"Ponies?" he asked still puzzled. "What prompted this?" I suddenly was bashful and didn't want to tell him. It seemed kinda stupid all the sudden like even though I was a babybot as a human I should have outgrown this stuff. With a gentle caress over the link with me I felt his acceptance, love and patient anticipation. He really wanted to know why and not in a judgmental way just to know me all the way through. It warmed my spark.

"I like um when I was little," I said quietly and added, _**a little human**_, in our bonds. He nodded and smiled. "They made me safe," I reminisced in the world that had saved me in a previous life. "Want it back." My father was indulgent to the point of spoiling especially when he knew it would bring me happiness or a feeling of safety. I could feel in our link him actually ordering every single one I'd bookmarked. My optics went wide. "All of um?" He nodded. "Wow," was all I could muster and bounced on my pad. I couldn't wait.

XXX

It was later that day, the day after the ship had released us back on to Diego Garcia, that I found out Sam and Mikaela were still with us on the island. The world was still looking for the two of them especially Sam and the craziness hadn't died down yet. Apparently some countries wanted to come clean about the Autobots being here and others didn't it was up to the UN to come to a consensus. I didn't follow the news though I got it second hand from the bots and dad as they felt it necessary to fill me in. I just wanted to make sure Sam and Mika were safe. That bastard better not try to take um again.

As I was crawling down the halls unmonitored as per normal. My parents could find me when they wanted. I was crawling toward the front doors to see if I could ask to see Sam and Mikaela when there was a loud ruckus in the front 'receiving' room they called it.

They could entertain dignitaries or whoever from the governments in the building and it was like a foyer in old homes to make them feel comfortable and had places to sit for both humans and Autobots alike. My dad was in there I could hear his rumble and then I could hear a high pitched voice throwing accusations at him. Sam's voice was next. The patterns were distinct but I couldn't make it out yet. As I came close I heard the tail end of Sam's denial, "could I even know they were gonna broadcast that?" My brow plates came down over my eyes.

"Even if you didn't there are masses of people searching for you! Government agencies around the world that are dedicated to finding you because the word hasn't reach every underling that the threat is neutralized, if you could call it that!" I heard the voice then turn away from the door I was crawling toward. "And you Cornell Lennox, you can look forward to a court marshal! Somehow you too coordinated this catastrophe together," he was pointing at Sam and Will as I rounded the corner. IT was Galloway. Oh I hated him. He was one of the people I disliked the most. He was MUCH worse than Mearing.

Even Morshower was there, "With all due respect Mr. Galloway," he started, "It was an emergency and even the generals have pardoned his actions in the light of saving the world."

"Well that has yet to be deduced, _General_," he spat the word like a curse. He was gonna be trouble. Mikaela hadn't been drug into the conversation as of yet that I knew of. I continued on my way into the room and plopped myself down right between him and the rest of them. He looked down at me suddenly as I sat there at his feet with a scowl on my face that matched his. "What is this?" he barked.

"What is YOU?" I barked back. He got a funny look on his face I couldn't read maybe surprise?

He looked up at Sam and Will and Mikaela, and then to my dad, "What is this?" he asked him.

My father sighed. He knew I wanted this confrontation but knew it might explode in our faces too. "Mr. Galloway, may I present my daughter," he thundered regally. The man looked down and then up and then down at me again.

"Daughter?" he almost squeaked. Apparently the thought hadn't crossed his mind that alien or not they could have kids. I shook my head as he looked at me.

"Steel," I told him as he looked me over. "Why you yelling at daddy and uncy will and uncy Sam and anti Mika?" I asked him still angry. It bled into my tone. My father could have face palmed.

"I don't think it's appropriate for a…child…to be here," he snarked up at my dad. My dad made a move to pick me up. I looked at him with a glare. He gave me one back.

_**He'll be an asshole no matter what I do. I've been dieing to get my hands on him!**_

_**Sparkling…**_he sighed inwardly I could feel it and just went quiet. I grinned.

"Why you yelling?" I asked again.

"Yelling upsets her," Sam offered. Galloway looked at him with an evil glare.

"Well, your uncles here did not go through proper channels to get authorization to move your dad to another country. They also put many humans at risk when they didn't come to us so we could help them fight the Decepticons." His big words and simplistic explanation was to throw me off like I was a toddler of human years. My face grew stormier.

"NO!" I said in his face as he was leaning over toward me. "You want uncy Sam to give to da Fallen. You crashed Daddy on da ground. You dinna want uncy Will to get daddy better. You dinna bewieve daddy bout Fallen. You was mean to evy body! I know wa happin!" He balked and reared back as I revealed what I knew to him in my broken English. I had one more bomb to drop. "Don sen no more bad men to get my Sam an Mika!" His jaw was open as I nodded and crawled my way out of the room to dead silence. They could pick up the pieces I figured he would have be a little more humble in the face of the truth.

I guess it was as a short meeting after that because Sam and Mikaela caught up with me in the rec room not 7 minutes later laughing there asses off as they walked in. I looked up from my corner that was now covered in ponies galore. I had the dream castle and paradise estate and several other things that brought back all that from my human childhood. I was knee deep in lining them up for a parade when I saw them coming toward me. I smiled and continued to put the mommies with the babies. Mikaela knelt down and Sam sat on a couch. "Well Steel, you told him. After that he didn't have much to say," she giggled and then picked up one of the ponies. "I remember these," she said smiling and putting it back where she got it in the line.

"Itsa parade!" I declared happily. She began helping me put the ponies in a line. I looked up at her to answer what she'd told me. "He's a meanie."

She nodded. "When you left I think your dad almost fainted or whatever it is you guys do." I giggled at her. "How did you know all that?" she asked me quietly in my audio receptor. That's when I knew I might have overstepped my boundaries. But I just had to let him have it! I shrugged.

"I dunno," I mumbled quietly as I picked up another pony whose rainbow hair was in tangles. I picked up a tiny brush and began to comb it. Mikaela who'd spent plenty of time with me looked at me oddly.

"Are you sure?" she pressed softly once more. I sighed out my vents and looked her in the eyes.

My optics were bright blue with intensity. "Some things I can't say" I told her but my eyes were that same blue when I'd told Sam all that time ago when I'd told him we needed him. Sam scooted off the couch to sit by Mikaela and to look at me. I returned his gaze.

"You knew…" he said putting the pieces together. "That's why you told me that so long ago?" I sighed again and nodded. I was getting scared but wasn't going to lie to the humans that treated me like I was as good as them and took care of me in my parents' absence. Sam was looked confuse. I didn't know what to think. "So you knew it all…?" I nodded again. I reached out a hand and put it on his. He looked like for a second he was going to pull away but then turned it over and held mine.

"You special," I started quietly. "I sorry, wanted to but can't." It was then I knew I was apologizing again with that burning fear that they'd blame me for not doing more or not telling someone. The guilt scalded me from the inside out like it had with my father and mother when they'd finally known and I began to cry. "You special too," I said grabbing for Mikaela's hand. They both looked at each other then at me. There was just a seconds hesitation and I took that to mean they held me responsible for sure. I pulled my hands from theirs before they could retreat from me and I started to get up and I was so upset I fell back on my aft.

It wasn't my father's hands I felt around me though it was two very human sets that sat around me on the floor on their knees. I continued to cry and I felt my mother and father coming toward the rec room to see what my distress was about. But I leaned into Sam and wrapped an arm around Mikaela hoping for their forgiveness. "I sorry…" I said three times in a row.

My father walked in on the scene of the two humans wrapped around me. I was holding to them for all I was worth. Optimus knelt in front of us. When he heard the words from Sam, "It's ok sparkling," he sighed trying to stop the crying that unnerved him. Mikaela was rubbing my head. I felt both look up.

"She feels extreme guilt for what happened to us in Egypt," he told them not reaching to me yet except through the bonds. HE knew I needed them too. I felt his warm blue love through our link that wrapped around my spark. My mother's calm warmth joined his and smothered the oppressive feelings that had drug me down into this crying fit.

"Why?" Sam's high pitched question made my cry harder. He had no clue why I'd feel guilty. Oh to be that innocent. It was a weight off my small shoulders thought to know he didn't blame me.

"She's just a baby. How could she have done anything anyhow? Why would someone tell her all that stuff and then tell her to not talk? Whoever that was, was an asshole!" Mikaela asserted to Optimus. Optimus sighed. Her declaration had me crying harder clicking and squeaking trying to cool my internals with halted intakes. Sam finally just pulled me into his lap and rubbed my back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and put my head on his shoulder. It was such a sweet guy thing to do with a kid and it felt like an uncle was rocking me and calming me. Mikaela decided to sit next to him and pull my peds in her lap and hold my hand. It didn't take long for the crying to stop.

I eventually pulled back and looked at both of them with a soft smile finally feeling settled. My eyes had that look to them again that the recognized now. "Don't let go," I told them and put their hands together. And then I wrapped an arm around both of their necks and hugged them carefully. And in their ears I whispered, "Love each other, We'll need you." And I pulled away and looked up to my dad behind me. He reached for me and took me from their laps. He looked down at them as I moved into his hand.

"She is special," my dad told them and they nodded. "She came by the information of future events by accident before her creation. Primus has sent her to us as a blessing. This is a secret you must keep to make sure she is safe." They nodded again.

"We don't want her hurt Op," Sam agreed. "She's like a niece or somthin."

Mikaela nodded too, "Ya she's like a little sis. Plus she is great at getting us outta trouble." She smiled at me and I smiled back. As I was lifted up and put over my dad's shoulder like I loved to be held I thought I saw a flash of a fleshy color slip behind the edge of the door. But as we began to walk into the hall whatever it was, was gone. I continued to inspect the corridor as he went back to his office letting me look over his shoulder and wave at the two humans that were like family and look around for whatever it was that had caught my eye. I made a note of it in my CPU and even data burst it to my dad who put it aside and said he would look in on it later. I felt comfortable letting him deal with it and so I was taken to his office and played on my mat with the other box of ponies and other toys on his desk that only took up a small portion of the table.

I decided that while he was standing I would finish my parade as I let the babybot/little girl programming and nature that had merged about a year ago take over and I dove whole heartedly in to playing. My dad was talking to someone in the government I thought I heard a secretary something or other but I tuned him out as I continued to put my ponies in a line mommies and babies together in little outfits and brushing their hair as I went. Some I put in braids and others I decided needed pig tails. I continued to put them across the table until I realized I ran out of table. I looked over the side that had a raised edge just incase I wasn't paying attention and accidentally went to close, like I'd just done like a duh. I smacked my helm with a soft clang that got my dad's attention and he turned his head and upper part of his body to me revealing my handy work to the person on the TV.

My father looked at me with an indulgent smile and heard the man on the TV chuckle. "Well Prime I see your army has grown since our last meeting," it was Secretary Keller's voice. I waved. He belatedly waved back as there was a delay in the feed.

My father chuckled, "Yes my daughter has been doing some recruiting." They both laughed.

"My granddaughter has at least that many horses," he was still chuckling.

"Ponies," I giggled happily with them it felt good to be included.

"Of course ponies!" Keller answered with a nod trying to be serious. My father came over to me and picked me up.

"I think it might be time to break for some Energon," he said to Keller.

The human on the screen nodded. "Yes Optimus I will see you tomorrow same time to continue to go through the papers." With a bye the TV turned off on his end and then my father turned off his with a signal from his CPU.

"Sparkling, don't hit your processor. It will not make it function at a higher rate of efficiency." I giggled at his statement.

"K daddy," I was hungry and he could feel it. It felt like a good time to get Energon. Something was bothering my dad though. I could feel it in the bonds like a small irritant buried in a shoe. I nudged him through the bond and he acquiesced to the questioning prod. There had been a blip on the camera at the time I had seen something move quickly at the door frame. But they couldn't get a clear picture of who it had been. Someone might have heard something they shouldn't have. It made me a little nervous but at this time was nothing either of us could do and he had people and bots looking into it. I let him handle the worry for now I had enough to deal with.


	23. twins

Reboot 23

XXX

IT had been a hard week for my dad. I had felt his stress through our bond no matter how much he tried to hide it. My mother was also feeling his strain through the bonds and it wasn't easing as the time went on either. There was an edge to his worry though that didn't make a lot of sense. There was a large part of me that wanted to help him work through all the scrap the government was putting him through but that was one thing I knew jack about. I never wanted anything to do with politics when I was human and I still didn't but it looked like eventually not now but when I grew up I was gonna have to to be a prime. Oh joy.

I snuggled him that night trying to help him with my bond synced with both his and mom's. There was just so much a daddy could carry and he allowed my mother to process some of his worries from the last few days. But nothing came toward me. Between the two of them there seemed to be some kind of balancing going on that I wasn't apart of. That was something a mate did not a child. I took comfort in the fact that even though I could probably shoulder some of that stress and deal with it, I just didn't have to. I didn't know whether to be mad at first or be thankful but eventually both my babybot me and adult human me decided that it was one of the best gifts I'd ever received as a child. I didn't have to carry their burdens. Eventually I'd have more of my own but left alone as it was now I could just get through the ones I had now.

The love pouring down my link to both parents made them look down at me as I lay on my dad's slightly open chest. His sparkling hold had been moved several days earlier so that I could rest closer to his spark but not get touched by the Matrix. It was nice to have so many options to sleep with them but on top nestled against both was the best. It was so glorious to bask in their sparks glow. So now as I let my gratitude surge toward them and their questioning feelings echo back. I smile, _**you don't burden me with your problems.**_

_**Why would we sweetspark? **_My father's confusion made me love him all the more.

_**Growing up there was much I had to shoulder, but here you protect me. You let me be little,**_ there were happy tears in my voice. While so many didn't get a second chance I lay in my parent's arms happy and content.

_**There is no need to relive that my daughter,**_ he hugged me tighter along with my mother and I let those long ago memories settle back in my head for now and moved into their blue glow that wrapped me in it's safety.

XXX

The next morning I slept late and I listened to the conference call my father had with another bureaucrat. It sounded like they were actually letting people know about the Autobots being here and that there wasn't really any crazy backlash at least. No riots or the things you see on those old science fiction movies. There was a steady stream of information that was being disseminated to the public at regular intervals. The tid bits were just enough to keep people from panicking but it was giving them enough to chew on. There were protests on both sides though rallying for the Autobots and against. But fortunately everything seemed to have been peaceful so far as I could tell by the tone of their meeting. So if there wasn't a world going nuts what was the underlying worry he had been so upset about last night.

He excused himself from the teleconference for a moment to let me out of the sparkling hold. "Are you ready for another day sparkling?" he question gently as he did every morning. I smiled and nodded. I tumbled into his hand as I had since the first weeks I'd been there. He chuckled and put me down on my feet and I stood on my own for a little. "Sideswipe and Sunstreaker are in the rec room waiting for you sweetspark," he told me and didn't need to twice. It wasn't often they had babysitting duty but when they did they were fun. I broke into a run toward said room and my father let out a guffaw as I dashed off. Soon my steps became clumsy though and I fell to my knees with practiced ease and crawled the rest of the way. When I poked my head around the corner of the doorway I saw both of the twins in a verbal sparing match that would have made Ironhide blush if he had been capable.

"You frag headed aftport! MY PAINT!" Sunny yelled.

"Well if you hadn't tripped into the pitting sofa you woulda been find slagtard!" Sides hollered back. It was so them. The paint, the name calling, the everything from their faces to their posture were just so them I was literally rolling on the floor laughing. They turned to see me twittering on the ground rolling on the floor. "Optimus is gonna frag me," Sideswipe said as he walked over to pick me up off the ground. 

"You didn't hear that did you Steel?" Sunny grinned. I nodded.

"Hear wa?" I asked innocently.

"Oh Sunny you've corrupted the future prime. If Optimus ever gets wind of…"

"He wont," Sunstreaker shrugged nonchalantly then turned his brilliant smile to me, "will he Babydoll?" I shook my head.

"Oh scrap," Sideswipe settled me on his hip servo holding me with one arm. "What did you promise her to keep her quiet?"

"To be available of course," Sunstreaker opened his arms and took me from his twin and started to walk toward the front of the base and held me against his chest as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Once free of the enclosed space he began to throw me up higher than dad would and catch me with out a hitch in his step. I giggled. I loved being with the twins. They were so much trouble and so much fun. They had such a checkered and hard past and it made me feel like I was a little like them. They didn't know it yet but I could be a trouble maker when I wanted. I just never got the chance to let that side out before.

He tossed me up again and that feeling from when I was human of my stomach hitting my throat and the thrill of being airborne was exciting and I giggled with glee. Sunstreaker's face looked happy as he caught me not that he'd tell anyone else but I saw it. Sideswipe walked along side him like they were one in the same bot but not. He then threw me sideways and Sides caught me without even trying. Soon it was a back and forth game to see who could get me out of their hands the fastest. That lasted all of one minute before alarms were going off in my HUD about my gyros being off. I squealed mid toss and Sunstreaker pulled me to his chassis.

"Hey, hey, Babydoll, skay," he crooned as he rubbed my back. It was the first time he'd done that but it was the first time they'd scared the slag outta me too. I squealed and twittered in sparkling language. It had been exhilarating but a bit disconcerting. The excitement had bubbled up and over and I think I'd become over stimulated. After the English Sunstreaker had spoken to me Sides had come over to chirp in the sparkling language to me placing me between their resonating spark and the place felt so nice. I couldn't put my finger on it but as they stood chest to chest there was a distinct feeling of being whole. Oh how I wish I could bottle that and get just a small piece. To feel like I was just one person and complete but there were to many pieces people had taken or shattered when they left. My soul looked like a mirror that had been hit with a sledge hammer and then piece back together. And there is no way to put back those pieces with out bleeding along the way. And some pieces are just too small to find again.

But the quieter I sat in between them and they concentrated on knowing me as I let them brush against my spark closer then they had before they pulled back in unison. Their surprise looked like mirror reactions and I felt Sunstreaker's hands loosen on my form. It had been just a moment but then he pulled me up more securely. I looked up at him with large optics suddenly scared. I was so small and there were so many dangers in this new world I had a right to be scared. But the look in the yellow lambo's optics was not rejection it was of recognition. Sideswipes gaze was just as gentle and knowing. What had they seen? I had no clue maybe they were looking as deeply into mine as I was into their completeness. Oh shit I had no clue what to do now.

"We cannot talk here, babydoll," Sideswipe suddenly said.

"We are going for a drive," Sunny finished. And the yellow lambo twin collapsed around me in to his alt form and his brother did so also at the same time and they raced off with out even a complaint about the sand. The drive was in silence and I sat in his passenger seat belted with a five point harness like a small child would have. I picked a it nervously. It must have been obvious because he clicked to me to settle my nerves and I relaxed because he wasn't mad. We drove for about a ten minutes straight out into a rocky cove that no human could get to. So transforming he pulled me into his arms and then sat me on a rock that was as high as their chests.

Sideswipe looked at me as did Sunstreaker. I stare back. "What did I do?" I asked quietly. They shook their head in unison.

"You did nothing babydoll," Sunstreaker was the only one who called me that. "But we know you." I sighed.

"Know what?"

"Know your spark was fractured," Sideswipe answered my question.

"Zat bad?" I was confused.

"You knew?" I nodded to Sunny's question.

"Twins have a special ability to feel fractures," the red twin told me.

"You're so young…" the yellow twin intoned, "How did you fracture babydoll?" I sighed.

"If I tell no like me no more…" I said looking down and putting my hands over my metal face. How many of these moments was I going to be forced to face.

"Optimus is always telling us your special angel," Sideswipe was puzzling through it. I nodded still with my face covered.

"I show you?" I vented heavily trying not to cry. "Maybe you know in da spark. It hurts lots."

"Not just anything can fracture a spark," Sunny told me softly. I nodded letting him know I knew that.

"Not spark, soul," I corrected softly back.

"Soul?" Sideswipe asked bewildered. I nodded.

"Like the squishies?" Sunstreaker added. I flinched. I thought this might be what would happen. I pulled my knees up to my chest. He saw my self protection position I'd balled into. "Like the humans?" he asked again keeping all negativity out of his voice. I let my optics find his and nodded. I held one small wrist port to them.

"Not good," I warned them.

"We've known worse." I snorted thinking just wait. They both hooked up into each wrist and I cleared my processor and let them into my past back before this life and let them see those things from long ago I had learned to tell without any emotion. It took place for only a few seconds to let them witness the horrors that had been and it was them who broke the connection simultaneously form both wrists falling to their knees. I didn't know what happened now. So I covered my head with my hands and pulled myself into a small ball hoping they wouldn't just punt me into the ocean for being so…dirty? Not what a sparkling should be? An imposter? As bad a Decepticon? I shivered a little as I heard the scraping of plates and joints hissing as they got to their feet.

Sunny's voice came to me angry and rumbling, "NO no way in the pit!" he said taking a step back. His voice pierced me and I began to cry. I couldn't hold it back any more. I'd made myself vulnerable to them and it appeared that there would be problems now. I was so stupid! I felt two hands suddenly on each side if me one red and one yellow.

"Babydoll," "Angel," they said at the same time. Their tones were gentle and between their sparks radiated that wholeness again that I was so envious of.

"There is no word for some of those atrocities in our language. But we do know the pain of an uncaring creator and we have watched what happens when two equals bond and then one uses their sparkmate bond to subdue another. We have found several femmes that were mere shells in the arenas." Sideswipe told this part of the story.

"The femmes fought for death. And we tried to help some. We were champions in the arenas. But the other is beyond our ability to experience." Sunstreaker told this part of the story. They didn't have to relive their arena days I knew enough. But the yellow twin went on, "Our survival came at a cost Babydoll," I nodded against his chest panel.

"Your spark," I whispered and Sideswipe answered with a nod when I looked up at him.

"Those things are not your fault Babydoll. You gotta get that in your processor," Sunny asserted roughly.

"Angel, don't tell us you believe that slag?" the red twin asked horrified. I began to cry. I couldn't say no because even down in my spark I still harbored that ugly well. And there I sat between the two of them crying out something that had raked its claws through my soul for so long. IT wasn't going to be exorcized in one session but the more I heard it the more I began to believe it. The two twins who had been in the gladiatorial pits and had fought their way to freedom no comforted a used to be human turned sparkling between their resonating spark where that wonderful feeling lived.

"If you ever need us we are here Babydoll. We know you feel it the way we complete each other. To a fractured spark it can help ease the burden sometimes." I nodded and hugged both of them.

"Who else knows?" Sideswipe asked.

"Only daddy mommy and Ratch." They both nodded again in that mirrored image fashion. "Why come mommy and daddy no scared?"

"For you Babydoll?" I nodded. "Because we messaged them. They know what happened and they are ok with it. It's yours to share or not." I sighed but then leaned into both twins and looked at the ocean as it rise and fell. WE had only been here about an hour but I could just stay here like that all day. And so in the absence of my mother and father who filled my spark with their love with our bonds, but in the presence of the twins who let me feel that sacred togetherness that I thought I'd never feel again even vicariously. So the day went and Sunny and Sides vowed their friendship and protection. It was after dark when we got back and I remember feeling the sway of a yellow body's movements as we went back. They must have walked back because I didn't feel them transform around me. And I was placed into a warm sparkling hold I knew was my fathers when I turned over and went into a deeper recharge.

XXX

That niggling worry that had my dad upset the week previous was still there in the morning after my day with the twins but it seemed slight more pronounced. I poked him over the bond but he kept a tight lid on it. Apparently it was something that he wasn't going to share with me. I kinda got huffy about it but soon forgot as I was put on his desk full of my ponies. I was happy to play with them and the tablet he gave me. I could amuse myself all day on his table. But it was not to be. I spent most of the morning with him and then Ironhide came in to accept me for just an hour while he was in a meeting.

I had noticed that I wasn't invited to meetings all the sudden and I didn't like it. I was grumpy for a few minutes while Ironhide took his time to get to the rec room to where I saw Annabelle toddling around better than I did and I smiled. She was so cute. I wondered if she could talk better now. IT had been a while since I'd seen her. So Ironhide watched us play on the sparkling mat that Wheeljack had put together for us when I played in there or when the humans played with me. It was fun to play with someone my own age and I let the babybot programming take over as I did now and then. To just be a child. Annabelle and I played with the ponies of course and I had so many but we ended up wanting the same one. When we got into a tug of war over it we both fell over crying. I ended up with the tail and her the pony.

"Oh sparklings," Ironhide chided gently, "you need to share." He took both pieces and put it back together like it was nothing in his massive hands. I huffed still in a kinda bad mood from being shuffled out the door for the second day in a row.

"MINE!" I cried.

"NO MINE!" Annabelle said teary eyed. Ironhide sighed through his vents knowing it was mine but not wanting to have Annabelle cry. Suddenly my father appeared with my other box and it had several repeats including the one she and I wanted. Once he dropped it off my mother came in to see what all the noise was. But by the time she came in we were knee deep in another box of new toys we hadn't played with yet and we were laughing forgetting what we'd fought over in the first place. She patted Ironhide's arm with a smile.

"Big softy," she joked with him.

"Big vocal unit," he prodded back. My mother just laughed and sat down with both of us and played with us for a while. Suddenly there was sirens going off again like that day at the other base and I knew something was wrong. Ironhide gathered both of us in his strong arms and reassured me with his spark as he brushed against mine.

"HURRY IRONHIDE!" she called to him as he ran toward a room in the back of the base that was basically a panic room. We were put in there along with Sam, Mikaela, Annabelle, and me. The only mech in there was Bumblebee and that was incase we needed to make a quick get away cuz the base had fallen to the Decepticons. I knew the drill dad had made us practice once. I was shaking when I got to the older kids and Annie and I ran to them as Ironhide let the large door slid shut and locked it from the outside. The only way to open it now was from in here. I looked around as I clung to Sam who rubbed my helm. I Felt the clamp go down on my bonds to my mom and dad suddenly and cried out. Bumblebee picked me up and held me close trying to sooth me with his engine but it was no use the blocked bonds were taking there toll but at least this time it wasn't permanent. Just long enough to protect me and that is what held me together through the block. But how long it would last I didn't know.


	24. Noise

The twins made an appearance more often since our chat on the beach. Although I was well inside the bonding and knowing stage of sparklinghood I found myself able to spend not extended times away from my parents but more than I was. Bumblebee and the kids he guarded with his life, had become frequent visitors to seeking me out too.

We had only been back at Diego Garcia a few weeks. The world was now familiar with the word transformer. Aside from the random protests, things were going pretty well. Unfortunately, they were having a little trouble smoothing the way back for Sam into his life as well as Mikaela. While her father had been released from jail the year previous and they had managed to set up a shop, the government had informed him of what happened in Egypt. Mikaela had been able to call him also once they were back at the base. Taking her back to the man would have been simple if she hadn't insisted on sticking with Sam.

I watched them together and couldn't figure out what the hell could have torn them apart between movies 2 and 3. Maybe it just didn't happen here I'm hoping I can prevent it if it does start to unravel. I also was not going to let this college stand between Bumblebee staying with Sam. The yellow bot was NOT going to get caught up in black ops when we move to D.C. With so many things to prevent it left my little processor spinning.

"Sparkling you're brooding," my father said out of the blue to me as I sat on his desk. The suddenness of the sound in the extended quiet startled me.

"Primus Dad!" I yelled collecting myself. He just chuckled at me.

"Your spark is very heavy with things you cannot do anything about now my daughter. Plan for the future but don't live there or you will miss the present," he advised me wisely. I huffed through my vents at his yodaish quip. HE just shook his head at my exasperation.

My afternoon energon feeding came and went and then I realized it had been some time since I'd felt my dad's spark with out the edge of worry to it. I wish I could tell what was wrong, but it wasn't for a sparkling to know. My processor grumbled halfheartedly. My adult part was still hanging on to the argument that I could help, but he was my dad and I was a child at least in part. SO that slight twinge in our bond stayed at least for the next few days.

XXX

The whole base was active as they all trained for attacks that were guaranteed to eventually come. Since most were recouped after Egypt now, including my mom and dad, they had to participate in the training drills also. Mikaela and Sam were in the base though keeping me company. My parents bonds were wide open as they were only running simulations. It seemed like it would be a slow day as we watched TV and Mikaela played ponies with me in my padded corner for a while. The bots ran in and out of the monitor room and the base as fake alarms went off and bells rang. They were annoying. One particularly loud horn I didn't know existed scared the scrap outta me and it brought my mom and dad both running back to check on me. That was the most exciting thing that happened up until mid afternoon.

It must have been a couple of hours after lunch that Sam had fed me in his lap no less. The bonding it afforded me with my family was worth the slight weirdness that registered with my adult side. I shrugged it off and enjoyed my energon. SO half way to afternoon cartoons more sirens went off and loud pounding was followed by blessed silence. I took in a cleansing intake. My optics were shut but I didn't miss a shuffle that came from the other side of the room. Mikaela and Sam were absorbed in a movie so I crawled toward the door that let the bots into the rec room. I think I heard them kissing as I rounded the corner. Teens, I mentally rolled my eyes. But more muffled noised caught my attention again.

Monitoring my spark knowing I didn't feel any Autobots around and if they were close enough to make noise I would feel them. I figured it must be a human. So a human that was roaming around the base not doing anything was odd if it wasn't Sam and Mikaela and they were otherwise occupied. Rounding another corner down a corridor I had the distinct feeling that something was amiss. Being a small Cybertronian, smaller than most grown humans, I back tracked toward the rec room. There was some scuffling in the rec room suddenly and I knew that it was bad news. I would have gotten to my feet if I'd thought they'd hold me up to move faster but when in a hurry they always gave.

Finally I got into the recreation room and found the two heads of my babysitters still on the couch. I crawled calling their names. They didn't answer. Concerned but not to scared yet I came around the couch to find a man with a gun pointed at both. The fear in my spark spiked but there was sudden darkness that encompassed me and I felt cut off from everyone outside the four small walls and a bottom that was slipped under me to seal it off. Whatever they had made this small prison out of was muffling my spark bonds. It wasn't like it had cut them just put a very thick membrane between me and my parents. I started to panic and banging on the metal that encompassed me. The cage was small so small I couldn't sit up straight or stretch out. The small metal walls clanged as I hammered on them but they didn't give an inch. As strong as I was I was no match for whatever they'd captured me in.

My cries echoed back to me as I howled inside the small box. I didn't know what had happened and I didn't recognize the man that had a gun in my friend's faces. I hadn't heard a gun shot but that didn't mean anything in this thing. The world could have ended in fire and brimstone and I probably would have missed it. Flaying in terror I tried to kick out the bottom that must have been the weakest point as I was lifted into the air. But whoever was carrying it tilted it sharply and slammed me against the side. I cried out as my body smashed into the unforgiving metal. I heard a muffled female voice, "Your hurting her!" that must have been Mikaela. I was so cut off from everyone and everything I didn't even know they'd taken them too. Oh Primus, they are taking me and Sam and Mika. My fear moved up another notch.

"Mika!" I screamed as loud as I could. I was bashed again for my cries. I was already sporting several dents and decided that being loud and banging were only going to get me more battered. I pulled my legs up against my frame and wrapped my arms around them. I was crying with small whimpers and twitters of sparkling and human mixed. The fear that the babybot programming was exuding was overcoming my rational mind of an adult and the fact it was black as pitch inside this metal prison and smaller than most shipping boxes the clusterphobia was setting in. There was no where to go. My parents who I could vaguely feel were confused but not frantic yet had no clue I was being taken. I rocked back and forth and as the swaying continued I knew I was being carried somewhere. But it all the sudden stopped when I was abruptly dropped roughly on something. I grunted but kept rocking and then I heard a loud engine start up but it was only an earth based vehicle. NO parents, no love, no safe, no home, no family, everything was being taken away again.

I didn't think that anything outside of what had happened to me in my previous life could hurt this badly aside from my father dieing. But here in this dark sealed cage the world was a small place of blackness and fear. There was nothing safe about this place and whatever adult faculties I had were slowly melting into a puddle of nonsense giving way to only screaming little girl/ babybot. Fear was my enemy as it could steal everything I'd work so hard to maintain and keep in this life and the last, but it stripped away all of my barriers and walls that had protected me thus far. The security blanket that had been under construction in the safety net of my parents sparks was long gone, shredded when the bottom of the trap had been slid into place. The clicking and crying became more pronounced and I couldn't think passed the black walls that surrounded me. Rocking was the only thing that centered what was left of me.

I heard a tap on the wall next to me and I jumped and screamed. "Shhhh, Steel its ok," I heard a soft feminine voice make it's way through the metal. I put my hand where I could sense the heat from her body.

I sobbed harder and cried to her, "Mika," was my pitiful word. The sound of my voice grated on my ears as it made the horror so much more real.

"It's ok Steel," she said again but her voice was watery. I detected another warm spot on the metal as another tap made itself known.

"Sweetspark," Sam cajoled. "Listen I know you're scared but we're here," he said quietly probably trying not to garner attention. But his low voice didn't work.

"Shut up back there or we'll drop the girl out while were still driving," someone yelled at Sam I was guessing.

"But she's freaking out," Mikaela cried at them.

"Any more blubbering over that fucking robot and you won't live to see it again." They became quiet but kept there hands on the metal. I squealed at his threat not wanting my friends hurt but something hard wrapped on the metal lid and scared me back as far into a corner as I could go. I didn't dare make any more noise after that.

The drive seemed to last forever. I finally felt that instant panic once they realized I was gone and the muffling affect of what ever they were using continued to dull the connection like ice on skin. It felt chilly in the connection but the strength of the worry and terror coming through was high enough to feel well through it. My despair must be hitting them as strongly now that the full horror of the situation settled in. They could feel me over the muted bond but not tell where I'd been taken. It was like whatever they used was scattering the bond rather than severing it. The fact I could conceive of that through the staunch terror was quiet a feet but the observation was lost in the sea of devastation that sat in this prison. The rocking continued as I used the motion to remember I was still even here. But all the rocking, shaking and crying stopped as the car turned off and I felt myself swaying again.

They were yelling at Mikaela and Sam to move in the same direction as me. I could make out muffled foot steps. I didn't know what was going to happen now but when my small metal box was dropped unceremoniously on the ground echoing on a metal floor it was flipped over and opened. I was disoriented and terrified. I saw and felt a hand reach in to touch me and I kicked it as hard as I could. A male voice cursed. It wasn't Sam's either. "That fucking thing just broke my hand!" it yelled. Another hand came down and I smacked it with not as much force as I'd liked to. I didn't want them to touch me. Whoever's hand it was howled in pain too.

"WAIT! I can get her out!" Mikaela called to the men surrounding the box I could see many faces coming into view. I pulled myself into as small of a ball as possible. They all looked mean and rough. None of them had any kindness in their eyes like Will and Sam. But one man looked familiar with glasses and a suit.

"Absolutely not!" he addressed Mikaela. Then he turned to me. "You know to much for a baby robot," he sneered. I was too scared to be mad.

Sam suddenly made a jerky move toward one of the men, "NO! Don't do it!" Somewhere I heard a crackling noise that must have been some type of electricity. That wasn't good.

Panic set in and I started to shut down and the last thing I remember before searing pain through my neural net was Galloway looking in at my curled form with that same hungry look in his eyes that I'd seen in other men's that live to dominate and control, "All your secrets are mine now." Man, Epps was right he is an asshole.


	25. Captured

Thank you to my loyal readers for reviewing: Merdes, Guest whoever you are lol, mobileholmes, Hermonine, and lunar mist. I'm glad you enjoy this fic it was not going to be this long but you guys keep me moving that and you give me ideas in your reviews.

XXX

When I woke up everything seemed jumbled. It felt like I was waking up in a dream. The rocking motion was pleasant though. It like the top half of my body was in motion: back and forth back and forth. It was nice. I leaned into the soft pliable body that held me. There was a soft whimper and something wet dropped on my face with a slight plunk. I reached a hand up and set it on ahead with long hair that hung down over the left of the face that was above me. I still had my eyes closed but the long hair alerted me to who it was. "Mom?" I asked groggily. The strangled cry that came from the person holding me was disturbing and required more of my attention.

I opened my eyes or rather everything came back on all at once and the action jerked me back into reality where the cold metal floor held my bottom half and a grown black haired woman rocked my upper body. I was in another dimension. No human mother here. No human anything accept the one rocking me and the one sitting next to her not related to me by blood at least. But my surroundings were unfamiliar and my processor caught up with the rest of me and I let out a blood curdling scream. I sat up and out of Mikaela's arms backing myself in to a far away corner.

The girl let me go both of them watching me. They probably had expected something like that but the terror came back full force. Curling around myself I began to rock again like I had in the small cage. It had been nice in Mikaela's arms almost like a mom's but not. She wasn't Elita nor was Sam Optimus. I wanted my parents so badly but the panic that had come on yesterday hadn't subsided at all which meant they still had no idea of what had happened. But I didn't have long to really examine what my parents might be thinking or doing because the asshole was back with what ever it was that made that horrible sound. The electric sound that had caused so much pain and put me into that black state. The pain was one thing but the after effects hitting me now were painful too. I had a headache that I didn't even know could exist in a Cybertronian body. That was hell on one servo. The other was the slight aftershocks that kept sparking in different parts of my body that made me flinch. But I refused to show it.

"I knew you'd be up eventually," Galloway said with a detached air. "But you took your sweet time didn't you robot? 8 hours is a long time! We have work to do and we can't do it if you're not awake."

The remaining part of my adult self that was buried beneath layers of babybot programming and little girl fear was a burning ember that was lit when I was taken continued to smolder hotly but I could not reach the power that anger would give me now. The two men that followed Galloway were armed with guns. I finally looked around me and realized we were in a room lined with some type of clear material that was inside a larger room covered in metal. So whatever they used lined every inch of the place so the signature of my spark and bonds would be muffled even in here. Outside the glass perimeter of our cage that had two beds a sink and a toilet, were devices that looked like something out of a cross between medbay and a hospital operating room. I didn't want to know what any of that scrap did. Galloway was coming toward me with the long stick that was about as thick as a cane and waved it in front of me. I squealed and rolled up even tighter.

Sam was the first to my rescue. "Knock it off she's fucking scared!" he yelled trying to talk some sense into him. I heard a click of a gun being locked and loaded and looked up to see the glowing end of what looked like a cattle prod in my face but beyond that a gun pointed at Sam's head. He had made it half way across the room before gun had stopped him. "Look please don't hurt her any more. She's just a baby."

Galloway's faced turned stormy. "A baby? Robots don't have babies they make little machines. But this one…It knows things that it shouldn't and I want to know why."

"Who got to you," Mikaela asked suddenly taking the focus off me.

"Oh aren't you the smart one," he commented without humor. "You didn't really think that with the whole of the US knowing about those aliens there wouldn't be some anti alien groups. Some of those groups have wealthy backers. I don't need to know names but I do know they need to go. Extreme times call for extreme measures. And knowing the future and how you," he looked at Sam, "brought back one of them when it was clearly dead. I wonder what kind of affects all that alien energy had on a growing human boy."

"So you didn't just take us as collateral damage control then," Sam conjectured.

"OH look who's brain joined the party." Both of the human kids' eyes went wide. "We have many things we will learn from you also Sam. From you and your girlfriend. Now," he said turning to me, "you are going to come with me," he commanded shoving the stick toward me again. Mikaela was the one who tried to get to me this time and the other man who had escorted Galloway in, clicked his gun in warning. I met her eyes and then Sam's. They had tried and even that small gesture had been futile but had reaffirmed my love for them. I had large blue optics and my mother said they were expressive but I didn't know if that was true. "Come along or I will start shooting off body parts that are expendable to your human friends." The threat was delivered rather blandly. My eyes still stuck to the other I finally knew.

There were Megatrons in every dimension and species and my mind froze suddenly. It felt like my spark one of the hottest burning plasma based forms on the earth felt cold. A layer of ice surrounded the flickering orb inside me numbing as it went. There was nothing I could do and my anger that could have caught in the moment when they'd cocked their guns faded into a smolder then went out. The furnace that made me burn from the inside out with fear and terror was just doused by the coming frost. My last feelings were of love toward my parents and my family and then the shut down of every piece of myself was thorough and sealed. The horror in Mikaela's and Sam's eyes was evident but the thought registered with a slight query but then faded.

I slowly went to my feet using the wall as a support and I stood without problems. Standing four and a half feet high I held my optics toward the floor knowing that it would not be allowed. Mikaela fell to her knees the gun following her back. I remember looking back at her as the movement entered my CPU but I didn't know why nor did it matter. Somewhere in my processor I heard crying and I didn't know why. It would have bothered me if I had bothered to really check what the links were doing but they were of no consequence either. The stick was pointed toward the door now so that is the way I went. Behind me I heard the girl cry, "You broke her!"

"You asshole she's just a baby!"

"Babies don't 'break'" he snapped back at their allegations.

"You broke her spirit or rather spark you idiot," Mikaela snapped back in a sharp tone. "They need their parents when their young."

Galloway laughed, "If it has made it more compliant than all the better," I walked out toward some sort of table that had restraints at the wrist and ankle level. I waited outside the door that slammed shut and lock behind me and the man with the stick came into my vision field. "Get on," and I did. Men lifted my hands and feet into the metal shackles and secured them. Something deep inside me shivered. There was something about being held down that almost pierced the hazy numbness that had coalesced in to my very being. But it wasn't strong enough to come to the surface and the thought was extinguished quickly. I laid there and then heard the man talking over my head to others I didn't bother to look for.

"What are we to do with this one?" asked a female voice that was slightly scratchy with age.

"It knows things like future things!" Galloway said. There was a pause.

"It does?" the other sounded disbelieving.

"It doesn't matter what you believe. You're paid to hack not talk. Start with the head there must be some way to get the information we need. After that you can continue the experiments that were on the big one you guys used to have." The information went into my audios but I laid there without moving. Looking too the right I saw two faces against the glass that were familiar. Their faces were horrified. I couldn't fathom why but then neither did I care. I then felt a plate come off the top of my head probably a back panel. Only one other had been back there and that was Ratchet. The name brought no feeling with it just a picture of a mech. I didn't know if there was anything in this world that made sense or was something I was supposed to react to. Suddenly there was a searing heat in the back of my head and I started to scream.

XXX

I didn't know how long they poked inside my head but the burning pain had been excruciating and my vocalizer had long since fritzed and was only emitting soft twitters and clicks now as I reverted to the sparkling language. There were questions asked of me frequently mostly by Galloway. "How did you know those details about the mission?" I didn't look at him because eye contact was usually forbidden.

"Primus told me," I whispered. He asked me this question several times and every time he'd use the stick even though I answered him truthfully. It was him who had told me that all of this was true and that the things I'd seen in my dimension were just peaks into other realities. The lower setting of the shocking rod stung through my body like it had lit up all my nerve sensors at once and torched them for a split second. The cries could be heard resonating off the ceiling far above. For some reason I had several warnings in my heads up display about Energon and overheating but they didn't seem to care about daily needs so I put them aside.

Somewhere on the other side of the room I heard another scream also. The boy had been on a table similar to mine struggling and screaming all the way. They'd left the girl alone for the most part. It looked like they were taking samples of different parts of him including his hands organs and blood. They had only given him something for pain once they were inside his abdominal cavity. The silence had been more preferable than the noise of either of our screams but one or the other didn't really matter. He asked me again and I told him my answer he once again used the stick. It didn't change the truth so it didn't change my punishment.

The presence behind me had moved away a few minutes earlier and was done for the day probably in my head. It was after this last shock that I'd been unlatched and drug to the door since my peds wouldn't hold me and was basically thrown into the room. The black haired girl was crying and looking over my body. As she skimmed some of the marks where the stick had hit the metal I flinched but only absently. Gut reactions couldn't be squelched. "Oh Steel," she said softly, my eyes were down cast so as not to break the unspoken rule of not looking into the eyes of those above you. But she then sat on the floor next to me and pulled me into her lap. She was rocking me. It was not hurting at least. So it was in her arms I slept.

A while later when I heard two men come in the room point a gun at Mikaela and then set Sam on a bed and then leave. She got out from under me and went to Sam who was moaning. I propped my self up against the wall and watched her fawn over him like she had me checking him for injuries that had been at least sewn up and covered. It looked like at least basic healthcare was in their plans for the other two. But logically it made sense because they wanted them alive. I watched through optics that took in the visual imput of all the spectrums but didn't have any desire to react to anything. Not until I was told to. The man was in charge and I was to do as bid. This role was familiar from so long ago. The only thing that mattered was to be good enough as not to encounter the pain that had been peppered through out the day like something the man savored. Finally the warning light in my HUD display was flashing and beeping in my audios. Something about Energon. I must be low. I wondered why they hadn't given me any if they wanted something so bad. That would have logically made sense also. With one last vent of air I slipped into stasis.


	26. Rescue

And because I couldn't leave the story that way another day I decided to continue with chapter 26!

XXX

I was rocking again but I couldn't feel a soft body under me. IT was just the cold hard metal of the floor. And that didn't make much sensed. But then it happened again followed by an explosion. There were alarms blaring and people yelling something about attacking robots. I lay there unable to move but I could only online my optics. At some point in time though someone had put a pillow under my head and draped a blanket over me. It was a rather odd thing to do since I didn't need pillows nor did I need a blanket to sleep. My recharge required none of the human frivolity.

I lay their not moving probably wouldn't have if I'd had enough Energon too because I had no instructions to do so. I just stayed in one place until there were the kids voices that I'd been with since I'd gotten their both yelling above the crashing and booming. They were suddenly at my side and I averted my eyes to not look at them. "Steel come on!" I laid there I couldn't move.

Sam then tried pulling at my hand, "Steel we gotta get you up."

"Can't," was all I could rasp. "Energon."

"Oh shit she's outta Energon," Sam cursed.

"Oh God, What are we gonna do?" Mikaela was petting my helm. I wasn't worried. If I was meant to have Energon they would bring it other wise I was not meant to have it. They ended up pulling me away from the wall that seemed to be taking the brunt of the explosions from the outside and huddled with me. They pulled both bed toward us also on in front of us and pulled one over us to protect us from any falling debris. We all lay flat under the small fortress waiting for what I didn't know. Finally there was a blast big enough to punch through the metal and large thundering footsteps came through shouting to one another. I could suddenly hear them in my head too.

_**Ironhide, do you have visual contact? **_was asked sharply.

_**No, but I do see their container**_, he said gruffly. Then out loud he called, "SAM MIKAELA STEEL?" The booming voice shook the ground.

"Here!" They both called. I didn't say anything. I hadn't been told to.

But then there was another voice that rang off the metal walls "WHERE?" almost paniced. I could feel something flare inside me that wanted to burn through the ice I had covering my spark but I pushed it down and it stopped quickly. There was an almost choking noise. And I heard some one metal hit their knees. From down a hallway a feminine screech could be heard also. Again that crying in the back of my processor only louder and more insistent but it was easily pushed away.

"PRIME!" was a slightly higher voice with a British accent's call as he seemed to come into the room. There were humans also yelling but they were getting quieter.

"NO get them," was the answer to the other. The glass of the wall exploded in to find pieces that rained down all over the mattresses on top and in front of us. IT sounded like music from on the ground. I couldn't tell if it was pretty or not. Just that the tinkling could have been misconstrued as some type of melody. Slowly a large yellow hand pulled the bed in front of us away and looked underneath.

"Found them!" it called backward toward the large hole that was gaping in the metal wall. The had opened it like a can with the edges of the wall pushed inward. The yellow bot pulled off the bed atop us and made cooing and twittering sounds at the two humans who responded to him by grabbing his hands and hugging them. I stayed where I was. Sam and Mikaela looked back down at me but I didn't meet their eyes. In one hand he scooped up the two humans while I stayed here I was with no reason or Energon to move. Once the two teens were picked up and he bent down to peer into my optics that I was unable to move away from he reeled back with a squeal. I'd done something wrong again.

There was a blue and red one that came up behind the yellow and looked down from his tall height at me. I would have cringed under his scrutiny but I didn't have the energy to. A voice floated down to me softly and full of a deep sorrow, "Steel," it was one word from his vocalizer and I would have melted into him at one point in time. But the name held no meaning did any name? That is what it was, my name, Steel. But what did it matter? It would do I supposed. I realized there was no more shrill cries from humans that I could hear anyway as he picked me up so delicately in to his large hands. The care was unnecessary because I wasn't ready to break. I may shut down forever from not having Energon but I wasn't ready to break. Something tingled over me and I knew it was a scan. Suddenly that soft rumble of a voice turned into a panic bellow, "RATCHET!"

A bright yellow green Cybertronian came running into the disaster of a room making his way to the red and blue one that held me. I could already feel the tingle of the scans in my systems. "THOSE FRAGGIN PIT SPAWNED SLAGGERS." The anger didn't worry me. But belying his temper he pulled me into his hands and pulled a cable out of my arm and began surging Energon through my systems in a hurried but caring manner. "She's on empty! BEYOND empty. And her sensory system is so slagged I don't know if she is feeling false positives or if she is in any pain. What in the pit did they do?" A hand held my helm and his fingers felt the back of my head where the space was from the removed plate. Slowly turning me over Ratchet's intakes whirled and then he went into another tirade as things were being flung around with one hand and he cradled me to his chest with the other.

The other bots were looking around the room now taking in exactly what had been going on. "This isn't a medical lab it's a torture chamber," Someone knew said. IT was a red lambo twin. My eyes remained away from any of the other's optics.

"They tested on Sam too Ratch!" Bumblebee yelled to him.

"Is he in any urgent danger?"

"Don't think so docbot."

"She's critical we need to get her back to base NOW." Ratchet walked back up to Optimus and handed me over to him. "She has enough energon now to make it back to base. There is too much damage to fix here. She is stable but critical. They got into her neural net." The faceplates of the large Autobot prime fell when he looked at me. I knew there was trouble on the horizon. I must have done something wrong again. The process by which to figure out what it was didn't seem to work though.

"Primus, sweetspark," he held me close in a hugging gesture that was quite a different punishment than the man had used. Was this a punishment? "You are so low on energon. If they had thought ahead we would have never have found you!" The information trickled through my CPU and it made sense. They must have not taken energon when they captured me and the two humans which is why I didn't get any.

"Those aftheaded slaggin fraggers! They thought they could come in to MY med bay and get Energon and get out free? Pit no!" The medic kept mumbling to himself as Optimus took me from the room I'd been put into. "Stupid dumbafts, trying to steal high grade for a sparkling!" and the rest I couldn't hear. The rocking motion was once again present in my sensation reception and it was in how the large mech who held me walked. There was red stuff all over the walls of the base we had been taken too. HE was walking toward a light probably from outside and just as we rounded a corner I saw a smear that could have used to be a person and a familiar pair of glasses and suit. Those familiar pieces of clothing are what lit the fear into my spark again shattering the numb compliant doll that had been inside me for the last day and the screaming I thought would never stop started even as my father tucked me into his sparkling hold for the drive home.


	27. Cry

Hello to all my reviewers I have been so encouraged by your reviews! Thank you Ellie, Hermonine, Mobileholmes, Mercedes, Giai, and Le! You guys are awesome reviewers. You comments give me ideas and keep me going.

Moving on:

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There was only one reason the screaming stopped and that was with the deep sync of both parents sparks. My mothers warm and surrounding and my father's powerful and careful both wrapped around my spark wiped out all outside stimuli from my processor and beckoned me into a light recharge that felt of that blue glow where the love always met me. There was no other sane choice and I took the out my parents had given me and slowly let my systems just go blank for the time being resting in their sparks' field.

I don't know how long the trip home was but I know that I awoke on a soft mattress on top of a metal berth curled on my side. My parents were directly next to me with their links open and clear. The affects of the deep sync were allowed to ever so slowly wear off. I laid there aware that I was with my parents and I was in the medbay. I didn't know what to do or feel. I could easily slip into the numbness of the doll that had saved my sanity for a day or fly into babybot panic. The teeter-totter in my mind vacillated between both for almost a full second. But what I figured out was that the cold scared me more than the fear itself and I dissolved into loud cries and clicks. My mother was there suddenly closer and petting my back. My father had come in front of me and knelt on his knees to be optics level with my turned head. I didn't have the energy to turn it.

"Steel," his voice was soft almost too soft to hear like his vocalizer had been choked off. But I heard him and I saw his large blue optics so close to me and even in my full melt down out of the deep sync I reached to him.

"DADDY!" was my hoarse yell and I felt my vocalizer spark. Ratchet was there not a second later pulling a tube out from under my arm and the burning pain in my sensor grid and the sparking in my vocalizer stopped hurting. It felt so good not to feel that horrid pain that had been clouding my mind. But it just left so much more capacity for feeling what the last day had left behind. And there in lied a complete and utter devastation of my soul and emotional state. It was like a tornado and earthquake had run through the same spot leaving nothing standing in their wake. The only thing left in me at this point that I could discern was fear. And even my father holding me to his face did little to comfort me. Even without the physical pain the crying continue even worsened.

"I have relieved her of the sensor pain," Ratchet told my father and mother out loud. There was a soft nod from my dad.

"It isn't that now that is eliciting this reaction," Optimus told him quietly. Ratch's inner workings rattled in that nod or shake sound. I wish I knew which one it was when my eyes were closed.

"Is she synced?" he asked. My dad nodded and I could feel the affirmation in my mother's link when she answered the mech. Then the medic sighed. "I don't have a quick fix for this Prime," he said sadly. Again my father nodded. "The trauma is not too different from when we found those from the destruction of the youth sectors," he whispered. My father didn't go still but I felt a sudden deep sorrow in his spark that came and went. I remembered hearing about that in my other life briefly in other stories but didn't know if it had been true or not. Much of the bits and pieces that were overlapped in many stories of the fanfiction writers were turning out to be true. But there was no sorrow in me now. I didn't care about them maybe I would again but not now. Because there wasn't much of my adult side engaged with the fear covering everything inside of my mind.

And left as that small shivering girl/bot I was lost. Somewhere I had all of me but the terror that had been wreaked in that dungeon was consuming. So much of my past life filtered into my babybot that the when the two merged, the little girl and babybot, I didn't think that the horrors would be able to be reignited in this life. But I was so wrong. And through that little girl I felt all that fear pour over me finally feeling it unlike the first time. There was so much though that went beyond the day in the torture chamber as Sideswipe had called it. There were years and years of fear that were just topped of by this last male. It made me feel like I had a good reason to hate humans. I used to be one and not even being human would stop people like that. The screams of not only my inner child but Sam also echoed in my skull.

For so long I was denied the help by those who had watched my soul bleed even though I continued on in my life. But here I had been rescued. They had been looking for me and trying to protect me. I was trying to make a distinction between the two lives but the denied child fought to continue the release of those things that couldn't be addressed so long ago. And so I cried. There was nothing else in my arsenal of a small child that I could do. There were no tears and I missed them. But the wailing was cathartic this time and it continued on into the night.

My father walked with me the length of the medical bay because Ratchet hadn't been done with my repairs and between procedures that were done on my numb body he walked me. It took several hours for the CMO to find all the nerve sensors that had been burned out by the shocking. He swore quietly as he worked and I heard every word but my father didn't chastise him. My mother held me then as he rerouted all my neural net connection that had been damaged from the attempt to get the information I knew from them. The hack that had preformed the extraction process had damaged several relays that helped control emotional stability as well as cognitive abilities. The med bot went on to tell my mother that it was lucky that Cybertronian's had so many redundant systems because other wise I would have had in human terms brain damage.

Everything he did was painless and only the haunting sounds and my slightly shaking body while I cried silently made his work stop at times. He'd fixed my vocal processor last. I faintly remember thinking what it was like to be Bumblebee with no way to tell them what had happened besides my comm link but I didn't even know how to start. But the cries never stopped no matter what he did, and he seemed to expect it and in between cursing those who'd hurt me he clicked soft reassurances and spoke sweet nothings in English as he worked. I didn't know a sparkling could cry their selves to sleep but eventually I had and the lack of Energon from not being able to put my mouth around it to drink it had taken me back into stasis.

XXX

I awoke the next morning again in the foggy state that left me caught between the doll and the little girl. I didn't want either. I didn't want to cry anymore and I didn't want to go numb. And lying on my dad's chest I shot up my eyes open and I remembered everything that that asshole had done to me and Sam. And then I remembered back farther what the other assholes had done to me in a different fleshy body that had not been theirs to abuse and defile! And above the fear there was now anger.

Sitting up I screamed a pain scream that sounded like torture again. But when my mother and father sprung to alertness, they found me whole but not. My physical state has been mostly fixed but my emotional situation was not so easily mended. And the bonds between my parents and I were all the sudden flooded with that acid I had held at bay for so long. That well's cap came flying off like it had built up pressure behind it and that black burning sticky viscous lava exploded through my spark and mind like a volcano. And for such a small body my furry was awesome. The howl I'd let loose fell silent but I my mind was not appeased. I was full of the thick acidic fire that rolled through my soul fueling something I'd never had the ability to unleash before.

Pulling myself from my parents I jumped my way off the high berth and landed agilely on my hands and knees. I walked toward the door in my steady gate I could sustain for about 10 yards and then put my hand on the wall to continue my trek. My parents were both reeling form the feelings pounding their own sparks. They were quick to get off the berth though and follow yelling my name. I didn't care this time. They hadn't stopped it. They didn't stop that asshole from getting me! Any of them! They didn't care not enough. I turned at their holler of my name and scalded them with my feelings of rage aimed toward the two of them.

_**WHERE WERE YOU! **_I shot through the bonds at them. They both felt guilty for allowing me to be capture. I took this to be a sign of their incompetence. Just like everyone else! Was there NO ONE that could keep a child safe? Well I could! No one would EVER get me again. Not the good not the bad NOTHING. _**You cant have me anymore! I am to old to need you! I will SAVE MY SELF!**_ And I continued to walked down the hall even when my systems were being over taxed I put my hand on the wall and continued to walk upright like an adult. I was too old for this shit. Maybe it was just time to give this up because NOTHING changed here. They still didn't save me. Still at the mercy of humans! I narrowed my eyes as I continued my walk out of the base. I had eyes staring at my form but I didn't care let them stare. Idiots have nothing better to do.

I pushed myself off the wall to walk out the door. It felt like I was literally walking myself through just the act of putting one foot in front of the other but no one would see that weakness again. I think at some point I had made the links one way so that I could only hurt my parents and they couldn't reach me any more. One of the bots that hadn't gotten the memo yet made a move to get me probably cuz he saw my struggling. "Stay the fuck away!" I yelled at him. It was Bumblebee. He'd reared back with a squawk. I continued on walking into the dry heat of the day humans about walking to and fro like nothing was wrong. Were they all stupid? Did they not know? They were just as blind and stupid as all the others. Like they helped that evil son of a bitch take me. My eyes narrowed again. My enraged scream caught a couple of them of guard but I ignored them. Fuck them too. I could feel my hate for them building. I was no longer human and I hated them. The men walking around like they owned everything and everyone. And the women who protected them and chose to love them rather than protect me! I was so mixed and confused. What had happened to this body and the other were converging into one. Holding my head I just screeched again.

I hit my knees I could do nothing with the fury that raged through me like an unending storm. Who was there to still hate? I then pounded on the tarmac that was harder than my hand but I didn't care. If I broke my hand at least it would be something else ANY thing else. And then I heard something that made the furnace of rage that fed itself hiccup just for a second. It was a voice I'd heard scream with mine in the dungeon. "Steel?" his voice called to me. He wasn't close enough yet to touch me. But I whipped my head up, optics met his green eyes. Sam started to approach me even with the noise from my father that sounded like a 'don't'. He ignored him and moved in closer.

"Steel?" he asked again. Sam sat on his knees in front of me looking at my hand that was still smaller than his. "Sparkling," he looked like he was crying, "its over," he said. It wasn't an excuse or a get over it. But it was just an observation that was so obvious to everyone but us. Then he was joined by a black haired girl that looked at me with her sky blue eyes who had tears streaming down her face too.

"Sweetspark, its over," she said simply also. They only reason they gave me pause is because they'd been there with me during some of it. And somewhere in my mind I'd recalled they'd tried even at the end of guns to save me and comfort me when there was no one else. And they were human. The thoughts with the others were so incongruous it made me close my eyes against the pain in my head. And then the flood of rage died and the fear and pain came back full force washing back against the black lava hardening it over my soul and mind like a black caked on grease that is in the bottom of burnt dinners. It covered everything and muddled my thinking but the brittle covering of black pulled those edges tight and the pain of the scalding that had gone through me felt like it had been strung taught and the balance between rage and pain was so thin that either was possible but I wanted neither. But in the split second two sets of human arms wrapped around me.

I started to cry again and this time it wasn't just pain. My bonds between my parents and I swung open and their blue light poured through them to comfort me. Behind me my father and mother came to us and everyone went on to a different area to leave us alone. The prime picked up all three of us as they were wrapped around my small body. He pulled all three of us to his spark and hugged us. I heard Sam and Mikaela kinda chuckle. I just breathed. Somewhere in our connection I felt my babybot/little girl self finally rest back into their arms. Blinking I looked up at them. I suddenly felt bad for what I'd said and done and poured down the links at them. But for once the first thought wasn't they are going to leave me, but it was boy I'm in trouble. And that simple fact gave all three of us joy. There was a long way to go but the thought of abandonment wasn't so vivid anymore. Just the others were brought into horrible focus due to the man who had taken me.

"Steel," my father called to me gently almost afraid to set me off again. I hugged him in answer. "Steel, the man that hurt you is gone," he said to me and I looked up at him.

"How? He is?" My optics were wide. The asshole that hurt me in this life was gone?

"Yes," and I felt a surge from my father that would have flowed through me and my mother and made my flare of temper look like a bon fire next to a super nova. My breath was taken away as I tasted just the edge of that deep and bitter hatred that he had fashioned for Galloway. "How? Under my ped," he whispered only to us three in his hands. Sam and Mikaela looked up at him too in awe. My intakes hitched. Never in all my life had someone went to that degree to protect me. Galloway was a dangerous man and probably would have gotten off in the courts and other things with his connection but none of that factored into the thinking process to a transformer. If you hurt a sparkling in our society you were no good alive. When beings lived as long as we did if you broke a sparkling that's a long life to screw up. Justice had been served for me in my father's mind. That he had gotten some sort of revenge for putting me through so much pain was just a consolation.

"He will not harm you again," he told us after the two kids had hugged him and the he put them down. "Thank you Sam and Mikaela for helping our daughter come back to us." They nodded to him and I rested against his chest. My twitters and clicks were winding up again and this time the crying was for the mech who finally loved me enough to take it too a level that meant something in this world or any. And again there was nothing but love in the bonds as he slowly walked back to Ratchet to get my hand fixed. It wasn't over. But finally it was a start. And the blackness in my spark disappeared from almost everywhere and the lid on the well was replaced by my parents own stubbornness to keep me with them. But somewhere I could feel that there was finally a little part of that anger had been spent if only a bit. Primus I loved my parents!

(not done fyi lol)


	28. Doll

The fit of temper that had engulfed me earlier had ended somewhat. In my parents arms I found some semblance of safety. But the emptiness that had consumed that one day I'd let it take over my being still crept at the edges of my consciousness and I didn't know what to do with it. I tried ignoring the scraps left of the doll that had been in control of my body during my kidnapping. But it hadn't been the first time I'd slipped into that state before. Long ago that doll had been the way I'd continued to operate in my human life. I did as I was told and tried to be perfect for those who expected things from me. Whether those things were abuse or not didn't enter into the equation. She smiled, cried, walked, and existed at the whim of those whose expectations needed to be met that day.

Ignoring that didn't help because the numbing balm that she provided was a temptation that could prove to be welcoming. As afraid as I was to give control of everything I was too whoever's expectations the fight to continue to exist in the midst of the roiling feelings that had awakened in the face of this last trauma took a large toll. The energy it required to just breathe sometimes felt like it was zapping everything I had at that second. It would be nice to have that icy glaze over my soul so that I could rest somewhere that it didn't take my entire person to keep from flying apart at the seams. But the only other place to get that peace was to embrace death and that wasn't and option. I refused to entertain that thought. But just to rest and be able to float somewhere else that would let my battered spark regain some of its shields to deal with all that the lava had seared my insides.

My father and mother were again with me in our quarters feeling the debate go on inside my spark. I tried to keep that mask at the edges of my memory not wanting to be that doll even if it was easy sometimes. I pushed the dispute away from my thoughts and just decided to get on with the day. "Are you ready to greet another day Steel?" Optimus asked me in his deep rumble. The chest beneath me rumbled pleasantly. It was a comfort to feel him talk as well as hear. The love flowing down the link brought my soul to his and it felt like every sense was being fulfilled even the emotional needs that never were before.

"I think so," I told him softly. My voice was barely a whisper but both parents caught it. They smiled on their face plates and in their bonds as they both got up. Since the day before they were off duty probably for the foreseeable future or at least some of the day for dad and my mother all day. But I knew dad wouldn't leave for at least a few days for meetings again. He always put me first when I was hurting. It felt good to know that nothing was more important than me. I hugged him and then my mother for good measure and my father took me in his large hand and pulled me in my sitting position up to his chest curling both hands around me as if to protect me from the world. My fragile psyche was still rested on a razors edge. They could feel the way it could simply be thrown into the pits again with out much effort on anyone's part.

The only humans that were allowed in the base right now were Sam, Mikaela, Lennox and Epps. They were the only trusted people along with Morshower and Keller but they weren't on the base regularly. Sam and Mikaela were also seen by Ratchet after the incident and I hadn't seen how Sam had really fared beyond my fit yesterday. Bumblebee had brought them hoping they would reach me considering they had been there through the traumatic event. It had worked but they were taken back to the med bay after I'd fallen into a fitful recharge. I had heard though that the two of them had been put in Bumblebee's room up on a shelf big enough to suit their needs as a room for them for the time being.

As we went to the rec room I noticed that my father had finally pulled his one hand back a little so that I could see down and my friends were both on the human couch in front of the mech couch that held bumblebee. Apparently where ever they went he went now. I chirped at the yellow scout and he chirped back with a smile in his knowing of my spark. I didn't need to see Bee smile you just knew when he did. But his brow plates went back down as he turned his head back to the two sitting in front of him. It looks like he was really affected by the whole thing. Knowing him he was probably beating himself up over not keeping Sam and Mika safe. I shook my head a little as my father pushed me off his hand onto the couch next to the couple and he took up a seat next to the youngest Autobot. My mother stroked his helm that lingered on the scout's cheek as she gave him a soft look. He was like all their youngest before I came along and she cared for him like a son.

I looked at the two who were intertwined with each other holding hands and one leg over the other leaning together. I smiled. They smiled back and Mikaela was closest to me and wrapped an arm around me. "Hey Steel," she smiled but it was sorta forced and it didn't feel real. My grin suddenly faltered feeling that tightness in my face plates that wasn't really there because my organic skin was long gone. But I felt that pull in my muscles that one would if they were fighting with an urge to actual continue frowning or just not care rather than smile. I leaned into her and her smile faded when mine did. She knew I didn't have to say anything. Sam reached his other hand over to stroke mine which was now in their lap. It made me feel included.

"You ok?" Mikaela whispered to me. I was looking at the TV when she asked me and then I just looked at my lap. What could I say I was far from ok. "That's what I thought," she sighed. She leaned over and put her mouth very close to where my ear would be if I was human. "I know that all this can't be just from the kidnapping," she whispered softly. I stiffened straight up and the warning bells were going off in my head but she continued holding my hand in hers. She pulled one of her hands up and put it under my chin gently prodding me to look at her. I didn't want to. I didn't want to see what would be in her eyes. Why did she always have to be so damn smart? Yet another reason to not lose her that blonde bitch was dumb as a sack of doorknobs. I allowed her to pull my face up to where she could see into my optics.

"Steel, that mask isn't perfected in one day," she continued to murmur, "It's a very deliberately constructed façade put in to place to protect yourself. You even have rules you follow in that state." My eyes would have been watering if I had been human but I think the light in them just got duller and the color faded some. I sighed through my vents. I nodded to her assessment but she hadn't asked the question yet. "You're a baby and the Autobots dote on you," I nodded again. "What caused that person that we saw in the cell?" That was when my voice broke into soft twitters and cries. Sam moved to the other side of the couch to comfort me. I could feel my parents wanting to intervene but not knowing if they should disturb the moment. Was it healing or pushing me over the edge? They didn't know but eventually when both had me curled between them my head on Mikaela's shoulder and hand in each lap they knew I'd be safe there.

In her ear very quietly so that Sam wouldn't hear, "Human before," I revealed. She didn't rear back in shock or throw me off of her surprised she just continued to pet my helm and the inside of my wrist plating. She was quiet for a moment.

"They can put a human in a baby Cybertronian?" she asked nonplused. I shook my head.

"Was dead Mika in another place not here. God gave me nother chance." I explained brokenly hoping she'd get it.

"You aren't from this universe?" she asked in a low soft breath. I nodded. "Something happened to you there?" I nodded again with a soft whine. She didn't press anymore she just squeezed my shoulder and pet my helm. She didn't have to know the specifics she was to close to the same truth. I don't know what had happened to her in her own life but she had it rough growing up with a mother that was on drugs or absent and a father in prison. She had even tried to protect him and gotten a juvy record of her own. God knows who had access to her and if her mother was good to her or not. From the way she just seemed to absorb all the revelations I'd spilled into her lap and the lack of shock told me we were probably in much the same boat. And recognizing a kindred didn't need any more words. So we sat there for the duration of the movie my parents behind me and my friends next to me.

XXX

It was during my feeding at lunch when I started to notice something creeping in on my thoughts was the doll who could just easily slip in over my roiling emotions. I was in between waking and recharge a human characteristic that I seemed to have retained that others didn't have. But shoving it aside I forced myself to focus back on my Energon. It was an exceptionally good batch and although I had long ago outgrown the need to be fed it seemed to be something we both unspokenly agreed on to enjoy and most of the time he just automatically pulled me into his arms. The position allowed me to sync with him or my mother whoever was feeding me and it helped even on calm days to keep the demons in my past at bay. Now it served to keep me balanced.

Synced with my dad it was easy to push that thought away and then forget I had been even struggling with it but after my feeding I was no longer synced with their sparks and then we went out to the beach where they watched me enjoy the water even though I was metal. My affinity for water had survived the transition to Cybertronian also. They kids couldn't come because Sam was recovering from several incisions and an infection that had started because of the things they'd done to him. I knew he was still sore because he moved slowly when he had come to sit by me.

Shaking my head I tried to put that aside and feel the water on my protoform. It was a totally different sensation like cool but the reverberation that happened through the beach when the waves crashed it sent shivers up my legs. Wet felt different too more like a feeling of movement rather than moistness. Wasn't unpleasant, just different. I looked back at my parents as they watched me stand ankle deep in the small waves and I couldn't shake the feeling they were waiting for something and that prod from the back of my mind of expectations that they had for me in this environment so I threw myself into being happy and I showed them how to build a sandcastle but when it reminded me of the ones my human father used to build I felt small pieces of the doll sliding into place. It wasn't something that happened all at once and not even I realized it till later.

XXX

IT was a few hours later that my father suggested we go meet with the triplets and they could give me a ride. My mind calculated quickly what the expected response to this was and I enthusiastically responded with a resounding "Yes!" My father could feel my excitement but an undercurrent of something that made him pause a moment but then started walking toward the open runway that doubles as a place they could ride about in their alt forms. He walked with me in his hand and I looked on for all the world to view a small child ready for her first ride with the femmes. But I was kinda tired, and I didn't wanna see the triplets, and I just wanted to go into our room and lay down and… but it didn't matter did it? So forcing the correct sensations through the bonds and toward the knowing I 'enjoyed' the rides with all the femmes until my father told me it was time to go in. I thanked them with big smiles and they waved as they went to go to their rooms.

My father looked at me, "You've had a busy day sparkling," he noted allowed. I nodded agreeing. Agreeing was good. But in our link he could feel my weariness and decided not to tax my small body and opted for a late afternoon nap. "Should we go for a nap Steel?" A fucking nap? NO! "Yes," was what came out and with a tired smile. My wants were becoming less important to me. I didn't really want a nap. I wanted to do something else to take my mind of this crap but I'd probably be lying on my father's chest for the next hour 'resting' more like 'stewing' but that's what he wanted. And that chasm between what I wanted to do and what was easy and safe took over. The abrasiveness in my adult persona was to keep people out and keep me safe. But the doll was accepting and agreeable. I growled somewhere deep inside myself in frustration but also in longing. I could let it take over and I could rest a while. I wouldn't have to think or hurt. There was gradual but not noticeable yet numbing of the bonds between me and my parents. They weren't severed or cut or muted just becoming numb save for the things they wanted to feel from me.

So I was laid on his chest in our room and it was like that for the next hour and a half. My mother was next to me also putting her arm over me on his chest their spark chambers visible to me. I wondered if I could just touch one and feel that fire rush through me again that wouldn't burn me this time but just maybe take everything with it. The 'peaceful' feelings rolling down the bonds were stillness and undisturbed but not necessarily peace but they could be mistaken for them. During the lull I had way to much time to think and be quiet and the it only served to feed the riling of the pain and hurt hidden behind the mask of the doll. My mind cried inside itself knowing they weren't picking up in my real feelings while I let and fought the doll at the same time. I yelled to them without making a sound to them or their bonds, 'don't you see? I'm suffering, I'm hurting, ITS FAKE!' But it was no use she was feeding them what they wanted and usually that meant that adults were happier to stay in that comfortable lie than confront and uncomfortable truth. And as they seem to bask in the 'peace' I wanted someone to yell 'FAKE!' But maybe it was because there was no way for a Cybertronian to hide in a bond normally. I didn't know. But the Novocain like sedation of our bond or the true parts, were complacently ignored or it looked as though it was.

XXX

After the nap my parents got up taking me with them. "Let's go see Ratchet," was all the preamble I got to the new shift in plans to the day. They had just planned on feeding me and letting me play in the rec room before I took a 'nap'. But they were the parents. So with a smile and nod I watched as we walked toward the med bay as though I'd never been there before.

"Steel," Ratchet greeted with a smile. "Hello there sparkling," I put my arms up to him as he reached for me. He nudged my spark and I let him have just enough access to see my 'smile' on the inside. And he plunked me on my mat in the middle of the large berth and ran two scans on me and then announced, "Well you are recovering quiet well!" he smiled. "Now let's have a look at your head shall we?" The sentence sent splinters all the way down to my toes. It felt like fear was going to consume every part of me as he reached toward the back of my helm. I wanted to scream, I wanted to run, I wanted my daddy and mommy! But the doll continued to kick her peds like it was just some everyday check up and nothing could possibly be wrong. The fact I wanted to take the medics hand off didn't account for my leaning forward to make it easier for him to have access. IT was that damn mask that was so securely in place now there was no way back. Somewhere in this disjointed cracked psyche I was numb but it hadn't reached this part yet. And now as I felt Ratchet reach inside my helm and check certain nods with a sensor with gentle care but it didn't matter. The act made me want to vomit even though it wasn't possible for a transformer.

Then she laughed like it tickled and I prayed that the doll would take me now because I couldn't take any more of this shit. And then a numbness set into my soul that brought with it the quiet. The terror of Ratchet's invasion began to lessen like a volume knob being turned down slowly. That was the danger of this it could just creep in like an old friend and then steal everything as you embraced what felt like a way out. But the gradual decrease in pain and fear was heavenly. I could get lost here but for one thing. "FRAG!" Ratchet swore suddenly and it made me open my optics suddenly and look at him in surprise.

"Slag it! Now PRIME!" was all the warning I got from the CMO and then the bonds thought to be numb slammed open fully bearing light on those pieces that the apathy should have shadowed. The light burned because it brought warmth with it and the complacency was replaced with worry and protective love. My fathers literally barreled through the fridged strands in our link and my mother's inner fire simply thawed them and allowed her access to that small part of me that was now giving into the deadening of the pain and fear. Unfortunately or fortunately, deepening on which end of the spectrum my mind was on that second my parents forcing the bond completely open and clear made the numbing feeling that had been overcoming me fade and retreat. The other's came back full force but then it was buffered by a soft blanket that I'd thought torn to shreds, a light blue security blanket. And it felt warm. The other things were still there and I could feel them like an ache but the numbness that had been egressing into every part of my spark fled until the doll, that had been pushing me deeper behind the façade, was forced into a box that had been wrenched open days before to save myself. So now free of that emptiness I snuggled into my parent's sparks synced deeply.

Somewhere behind me as my mother picked me up and rocked me I heard the two mechs speak, "Prime it's a human virus not a Cybertronian one. To remove it would be to remove part of her human life," his tone was sad.

"I didn't know if it was from them invading her CPU or if it was because of past trauma. We will leave it then and deal with it as it comes," he intoned quietly with a sigh. Then I felt his hand on my helm. I was curled up against my mother's chest my legs pulled up against my chest feeling for all the world like a small child. And it felt wonderful to just feel.


	29. Committee

Thanks you to all my reviewers! I love your feed back thank you for sticking with me. Sometimes my muse likes to go on strike. Anyhow on with the story.

XXX

I spent a long time in that deep sync. While in there I can't tell you how long it was. I just remember resting next to either my mom's spark or my dad's. And when I was close to my mom's spark I basked in her warmth that kept me close and wrapped in its blue haze that caressed my inner self and soul. It felt like a nice spring day just warm enough to be comfortable but keep the chill of out of my spark. And when I rested nestled against my father's I felt the power that not only came from him but also the matrix that gave his restrained force a slightly different feel since he had let it reside in his spark. But the controlled strength felt encompassing enough to protect my fragile psyche as well as my small body and not overwhelm me. There was no where safer physically or otherwise than next to their sparks.

I was allowed to come out of the sync eventually but not completely. The synced sparks were keeping me stable. But as the buffer between me and the real world began to be withdrawn things were coming back I didn't want to deal with. IT was like they were slowly giving my mind back over to me and I didn't want it not a bit. IT must have taken many hours to allow me to even get this far because I remember several times of getting close and then being pulled back into that in-between space where my spark was so close to theirs. I was at a point now that the sync was acting as a balancing agent as I was regaining my cognitive abilities. I remembered from the time I was human the saying how if you boil a lobster slowly they don't know enough that they are being cooked. Well that's what it felt like and there was no pot to jump out of. There was no way out of my mind and the pain hitting me was devastating. I finally began to cry.

I think the pain of feeling lost and alone or abandoned after they had taken me was the worst. That feeling that no one was coming to rescue me. IT hurt more than anything. This time the abuse had been stopped in the most dramatic and final way possible but in another life it had gone unnoticed by those who'd cared for me and for years and then unpunished for the rest of my human life. The injustice that filled me burned deep inside me knowing that even when they knew it wasn't dealt with. It was a familiar feeling that there was no escape or relief from what was happening and although the sheer violence that had I had been exposed to during my time at the hands of Galloway was above anything else I'd seen the years of the other had drilled into me there was no hope. The only escape was to drown in the doll or fight your way out once you saw an opportunity and I did both. This time around though as a smaller being and so new I'd been rescued. I didn't have the ability to decide what to do with the confounding dichotomy of the two situations. So giving in to my little girl/ babybot I cried.

Crying into my father's chest with twitters and chirps that made no sense but they were telling at least to my parents. The crying went on for hours. They were considering letting me go back into that deep blue haze where I was comfortable and calm but they also knew that I couldn't stay their forever as much as they wanted to allow me. And so they held me as my cries echoed in their room and sometimes into the hallways beyond. Their sparks resonated with their sorrow for failing me and not getting me sooner. They were also underlined with anger toward the human organization that put together that little job and were determined to see the whole investigation through. Their resolve was hard as concrete in the bond. That small sure thing seemed to ground something in me. They were still fighting for me even after the man who had ordered the torture in the first place was dead. Smashed under my dad's ped. That small thought was slightly satisfying but it didn't do anything to really quell the horror that had been instilled in me from the experience accept to know that, that there was one person who couldn't hurt me any more.

My parent's sparks were also awash with the love and dedication it took to ride out this storm that I was currently caught in. IT felt like I'd been thrown to an angry see without a life jacket drowning in a sea of my own tears but their love seem to buoy me even as I thought I'd still sink. I held to their lifelines they'd thrown me in the midst of the tempest that raged inside feeling there was no end. Somewhere they were looking for me inside like the coast guard searching for a lost person after a shipwreck that seemed to be my emotional state. It had crashed burned and had been dug up to haunt me even as I thought I could never feel that dark place again it seemed to splash up in my face taking my breath away. But at some point in time the raging storm that was my emotions and mind seemed to come to some understanding that while the wind still battered my soul and the pain washed up over my head I could hang on to the lifejacket my parents had wrapped around me and feel them. And in that there was some semblance of safety even in my mind.

From that small platform I was able to dedicate some of my CPU toward looking at what was going on outside my helm. I opened my optics to the person holding me close to his chest place to find the azure optics of my father. My voice box was a few days healed from what I could tell in my chronometer and from how it felt. "Daddy?" I asked taking stalk of my physical body because mentally I was clearly screwed. I found pleasantly I really didn't have any pain.

My father looked down at me, "My spark," he sighed somewhat relieved probably that I had stopped keening. The pink hand that came to rest on the back of my helm was my mother's.

"Sweetspark," she said softly but couldn't muster the feelings it took to smile. But her face looked as if she was finally letting the stress leave her body slightly.

"Daddy," I said again trying to put into words everything I wanted to say. There was so much I couldn't seem to delineate into verbal sounds to express everything I wanted to. There was anger, pain, and a myriad of so many other things that it left me slightly dizzy.

Optimus just dropped his forehead to mine suddenly and got a thick timber to it as he told me, "You don't have to say it sparkling. We know we feel it. We are here and will continue to be until your spark is healed," and with those words he alleviated some of my fears that they might not want to see this through or get tired of the drama. But parents didn't do that did they? Well not these any way.

XXX

It was the next day and I had a check up with Ratchet scheduled. When I got up my mother told me that we'd be going to see him. I had other ideas. Another invasion of my helm scared the pit outta me and I wanted none of it I let them know it. So as soon as the words left my mother's mouth, I shoved my self off her chest plates sliding down her torso onto the metal berth screaming and flailing. I'd used my epic fit super powers before and I did so now to make sure I didn't have to go to the Medbay.

My banging and screeching could be heard even through the hallway door. Both parents were trying to calm me with promises of being there and that he wouldn't hurt me but the fact that there might be an invasive part of the check up and my inability to tolerate any fooling around in my head hadn't crossed their processors and mine were to crazy to put my fear into words. In a desperate attempt they called for Ratchet and he came tromping down the hall quickly and when I heard the door open and saw his bright and big self I screamed to audio splitting decibels and pushed myself into the corner of the berth where two walls met. My father shoved Ratchet out of the door quickly and locked it behind him and at least I could stop freaking out at his appearance and bring it down a few notches. As a last ditch effort to pull me from my hysterics and terror I heard slightly lighter footsteps coming down the hallway and then the door opened to a different shade of yellow.

"Bumblebee come here," my dad told him frantically. He had his hands cupped against his spark like my father walked with me these days. It wasn't until he got closer that he opened his fingers a little letting the humans' eyes meet with my optics. It was Mikaela and Sam. My eyes went wide and I stopped screaming. The sniffles and twitters that remained were that of an normal cry. Bumblebee's spark searched to know mine and I let him in as far as I could and even when he felt the sharp prickle of my pain at the edges of his spark he didn't pull away cringing but wrapped a hand around one of my small ones as he allowed the humans to scoot onto the table.

His finger stroked my hand and over the commlink he messaged me, _**Sparkling, little sister, we are here.**_ And again the words and actions of my Cybertronian family were simple but profound to me. Their single minded devotion was completely foreign to me. Maybe it was because it all came down to 1's and 0's and they were either faithful or not but I knew it wasn't that simple. They just loved me enough. And I hoped I could love them enough back to deserve it.

"Hey Steel," the words came from Sam this time. He had been healing well. HE looked stronger. I didn't want to hurt him but the urge to stand and glomp him was too great. My arms wrapped around his rib cage but not too tight even though he let out a breathy laugh. Mikaela walked up next to him and pulled me into a hug also. The crying wouldn't stop now. Neither of them asked me to stop though. There were tears in their eyes though and then I realized they were for me. I looked up at them as a few tears fell from both and I was flabbergasted as I felt them plink of my metal limbs. I could no longer cry for myself and NO ONE had ever cried for me NEVER. I let one hand reach up to Mikaela's cheek and wipe one away from her chin and looked at it as if I'd never seen a tear before knowing I had didn't stop the funny watery laugh that Mikaela let out as she took my hand.

"Steel," she managed to say warmly even though she knew and felt the chill in my spark even without one of her own. "I know it's hard," she said without judgment. "But we have both had to see Ratchet with all his scary tools and sometimes needles…" she let that sink in and I scrunched up my face remembering. "Yeah, I know," she added in response to my facial plates. "But we need to," she explained. "And would it help if Sam and I were there?" she asked suddenly the thought occurring to her. I nodded frantically holding on to her arm. And it seemed settled as Bumblebee carried all three of us and my parents trailing him made it to the med bay.

XXX

The check up went with a few freak outs but he decided to give me a few more days to settle before he would recheck my helm. I was grateful for the reprieve. Unfortunately my close call gave way to a meeting where I was inside my father's sparkling hold that could find him in hot water. The general on site as well as Keller and Morshower had come to the base as soon as they could manage the meeting altogether to discuss the matter of the rogue human group who had taken the humans and I. I was in the best place for this because staying near my father rather than in the base roaming with all the new people it felt better to be safe and away from prying eyes until I could put some time between that had happened and now. I heard two voices before the meeting started.

"Prime," Keller addressed him. I knew his voice.

"Prime," Morshower echoed him with respect. I knew his voice too.

"Mr. Keller, General Morshower," he replied back politely. I could tell there was an edge to my father's voice though that the others couldn't feel like I could. The steel even registered through our bond.

"We wanted to speak to you before the meeting," Keller said suddenly taking on a more casual urgent tone.

"Yes?" my dad asked.

"Optimus," Morshower started, "how is she? We received your…detailed report. It was difficult to finish." I felt my father's stony façade fade a little and he let the sorrow enter his voice.

"She is…healing," he said vaguely. "But her recovery is far from over."

"I can imagine," there was a slight twinge to his tone that sounded more disgusted than anything. "What a…" I am guessing he couldn't think of an appropriate word he could say in polite company.

"Indeed," my father rumbled in response.

"Did he do any lasting damage to any of the kids?" Keller asked his voice grim.

"Mikaela and Sam are both well. Their injuries are healed. My sparkling suffered neural-net corruption equivalent to human brain damage but Ratchet was able to repair her CPU before the damage was permanent. The emotional toll on her young mind however…" again another sentence hanging in the air like no one could finish them with out making the horror of the situation truly real. I heard two sighs of resignation from the humans in the room with my father.

"I'm sorry we gotta go through this now Prime. But the precedent has never been set and some of the suits in Washington are nervous because of the efficiency to which you recovered the children," Keller said apologetically.

"They accuse us of murder when they kidnap and torture children?" that stone was back in his voice. There was another sigh form which human I didn't know.

"You have our trust Optimus," Morshower told him confidently. "We just need to make the other's see that your actions were necessary." I heard my dad vent as he sent me a questioning prod. If he needed me I'd be there even if I was scared to death. It was right after that I heard other's clomping up the stairs in their dress shoes and high heels. I couldn't distinguish how many exactly but there was at least 10.

"Mr. Prime," someone addressed my father unfamiliarly. "This meeting is to discuss the handling of the last mission that was dealt with under your and NEST's control."

"Yes."

"Mr. Prime," a lofty voice said lighter than the others. IT was a woman. "What was the nature of this mission?"

"I'm sure you have had time to familiarize yourself with the briefing material," he started and paused. "Then you know it was a rescue mission to retrieve our most vulnerable members."

"The humans are not under your jurisdiction," a sharp voiced male said one I hadn't heard yet. "And the other is what a drone?" The stony edge in my father's spark bond became concrete.

My dad's voice dropped a full octave. "You are referring to my sparkling, my daughter. She is every bit a child only a toddler in your years, but barely a newborn to us. And the other two CHILDREN," he emphasized the word, "are under our protection and will continue to be. If we need to make them official Cybertronians and give them political immunity or even adopt them we will do so to keep them safe."

"Your daughter?" one older scratchy male voice choked.

"Yes."

"Mr. Prime, the human casualties from the opposing faction were extensive. Please explain to this committee the need to decimate the HUMAN combatants?"

As smooth as ever he rumbled, "They had specialized weapons to disable a Cybertronian and were also using large range assault ammunition on our human counterparts. And to complicate the rescue attempt they were very adamant about making sure they put as much resistance between us and their hostages, our CHILDREN. The force that was used was necessary to retrieve the sparklings."

"Sparklings?"

"Children," Keller interpreted. I felt my dad nod in his direction in a small thanks.

"But Mr. Prime surely you enormous stature and that of your other Autobots didn't require you to carve that bloody path through the hallways?"

"My daughter and those I have taken under my protections like they were one of our own and they were being tortured," he again emphasized his last word to drive home the point that lives were on the line. Innocents. That should mean something to them.

"Are you telling this committee you blasted and slashed and stomped your way through several hundred humans to get to two humans and one small transformer?" the same man that had asked the other accusing question asked it again a different way but just as insulting.

"Did you have any children senator?" My father suddenly asked in a low voice. HE was trying to reach them.

"Of course two a boy and a girl. There grown now with children of their own. I have 5 grand kids," he announced proudly.

"Then tell me what wouldn't you do if one of your children even grown or grandchildren were being held at the mercy of someone who had nothing but contempt for you and your kind and carried out painful, invasive, brain damaging, emotionally scaring, terror inducing acts on them and then stood between you and rescuing them?" The man didn't answer. I knew my father was looking at ever single one of them. "Can one of you think of you progeny or family members especially those who have yet to even know what right and wrong are and live long enough to have made enough mistakes to deserve such a fate?"

"But you're machines!"

I felt my dad shake his head, "We are individuals alive as you are with families and souls," he said sadly. He opened his chest plates just enough for me to crawl out of his sparkling hold into his hand. On my hands and knees I slowly moved into the light of the room not really wanting to but knowing my father knew best. I sat up pulling myself against his armor as tightly as I could and he responded by wrapping his hands around my form. But he left gaps in his fingers large enough for the humans seated around on top of the desk to look upon me. I snuggled into his chest and didn't look for a while. There were some gasps. But I heard two sets of shoes walk over toward my father. Optimus leaned over with me clinging to his chest armor and he bent just enough to allow the standing men to look over the edge of his cupped fingers. The faces were familiar.

"Hi Steel," Keller said smiling.

"Hey there darling," Morshower greeted me. Their demeanor put me at ease. These two I knew and so did dad. I turned a little and waved opening my optics.

"Hedo Kel and Morsher," I smiled back a little. I didn't get up and go to them though. They both looked up at Optimus.

"She is shy today?" Keller asked. My dad shook his head.

"She has been unable to reconnect with humans save Mikaela and Sam since her kidnapping. Recharging is fitful and her demeanor is subdued."

Morshower sighed and turned around, "When I came here the first time and saw her she moved from her father's hands and barreled to me to make friends. She was I vibrant little toddler learning to walk and make friends with people who aren't even her species! And this small shy wallflower is the result of what a human did to a child. That kind of crime in our country is punishable by life in prison or death!"

Keller sighed, "I've viewed her playing, laughing, drinking a bottle, sleeping in her father's arms, and even arguing with him! Poor child doesn't even have the desire to move about any more and freely among us as she did. It is a tragedy she had to learn to mistrust us so quickly because of one person's actions!"

Keller turned his back on the rest and turned a smile on me, "Here there little one," he addressed again. I waved. "I was hoping you'd come to the meeting. I brought you something." The thought intrigued me and peeked the interest of the baby bot programming.

"Really?" I asked quietly still holding on my dad's plating. But I turned more to face Keller.

"I sure did," he said sitting on my dad's hand. The whole room besides Morshower were giving their wrapped attention to the scenario playing out in front of them. I could feel their eyes but did my best to ignore them. He looked up at my dad for permission who gave a quick nod and he scooted over a little towards me. I wriggled back a little so he stayed there a moment then moved closer again. I was expecting it this time and stayed put. He pulled a package out of his pocket and handed it toward me. It was wrapped in pink paper.

"A present?" I asked in a squeal of joy. He nodded with a smile and I reached out with out thinking before I could be afraid and took it from him and sat back against my dad. "It's pink like mama!" I smiled and began to tear into it. And there in the paper was a pony I hadn't gotten yet. I looked up at him and smile wider. "Moondancer!" I squealed again and hugged him. The whole thing caught up with me and I pulled back suddenly not know if I'd done something wrong. The response was just chuckling and a hug back.

"I even talked to your dad to make sure you didn't have this pony. It's a present for being such a brave girl," I smiled shyly. I sighed trying to push away the fear and sorrow from that day.

"Thak u," I said happily and began to pet the small pony and pulled it close to my chest. I was also getting hungry. I waved at Keller also as I began to sit back into the crook of my fathers arm. He was smiling at me. And in his hand he had my sippy cup which he lowered toward me and put in my mouth.

Morshower turned to the gathered congressional committee with Keller and looked at all of them for a moment and then went back to their seats to let them all absorbed what happened just then. My dad stayed quiet until one of the others would make their first move. IT was the woman who spoke first.

"She takes a bottle?" she asked softly her eyes fixed on me. I ignored her turning into my fathers chest.

"Much like human babies Cybertronian sparklings have a need to refuel frequently."

"And she plays with ponies?" a male asked.

"They are her favorite toy from earth. She has accumulated over 300." There was snicker from Keller.

"Gentlemen," Morshower prodded.

"Yes General, we see that there is more to this little robot than previously thought," said the man accusing my father of straight up murder previously.

The woman stood up abruptly bringing the attention suddenly from me to her and the action startled me. I small squeak escaped my mouth but my father's soothing calmed me quickly. "I think we've seen enough gentlemen," she said with an air of finality.

"I have to grudgingly agree with your observations," another conceded. "Let us adjourn and get back to the mainland. I have some grandkids to call…" and with that everyone left with Keller and Morshower last giving me a wave. Somehow my father had done it. He'd gotten through to at least those few giving them something to think about instead of insisting we were just unfeeling machines or overgrown computers. I hoped that in time these demonstrations wouldn't be necessary to prove he was justified in just protecting his own daughter.


	30. slash and burn

Thank you to my faithful reviewers Patchwork Knightess, Lunar, Mercedes, Sakura, and Dark demona. I was in the hospital in September for two weeks and then I had to recover. I went back to work and had a lot of adjusting to do to even get up every day. I finally am in a better place with my health now that is has evened out. Plus I have two kids with special needs and we had all the holidays with Halloween, and my eldest birthday. All to close whew! Here goes:

XXX

A trip was what my father's brilliant idea was in the aftermath of the horrors of not even two weeks ago. Out of all the random ass things that he could have come up with out of this whole tragedy he wants to take a family vacation? He can be such a weirdo at times and Yoda in others because he always has a purpose and his plans almost always work. So stuffing my father's glove box full of my ponies and a few cybertronian toys along with a data pad I climbed in his cab and it had been completely revamped like a big room with a mattress for a floor. I didn't need a seat belt because his cab was equipped with same safety system my landing pod had. I bounced several times trying out the material.

It wasn't until I saw Bee in car mode that I figured out Sam and Mika were coming with us. They were dragging large bags toward the group of bots and the camero's trunk was open. I banged on the door to be let out and suddenly his door flew open and I found my self out on my aft. There were a few scared shouts and then relieved sighs as I got up and jogged to them. I met them half way and Sam caught me as I fell into his arms as my legs gave out like usual. "You comin?" I laughed happily. He smiled back at me.

"of course we couldn't let our family and little sis go with out us!" He answered with a smile but it looked more relieved than happy. Mika just rubbed a hand over my head then back as she made her way to the disguised yellow car. She threw her new large duffle into bee's trunk and then switched with Sam and took my hand to let him put his stuff in the trunk also. He caught up with us and took my other hand then walking me to my dad and mom.

Most of the bots were staying cept the twins, mom, dad, Bee and Hide. So as we stood next to my dad's alt form they hugged me and said they'd see me when we landed. What wasn't said betwixt the three of us but felt was "I'm so glad we didn't get left behind" as the fear still hid in the shadows of the humans faces at times and I'm sure that mine shown with bright intensity through my optics. I crawled back into my fathers cab to make myself comfortable for the long ride to Primus knew where since I wasn't being told. It was a surprise dam bots were pulling human shenanigans on my now. Probably a tip from Sam or Mika, the brats, I thought with no ill will just fond exasperation. It was more comfortable in the bots alt modes for travel whether by air or ground. The Autobots all filed onto the airplanes and we were off.

XXX

We touched down somewhere in BFE and I'd know I'd been there and this is what it looked like. I didn't even know what state we were in because my dad's amore was messing 'accidentally' with my GPS. So the plane lands and it was flat I mean flat enough to make a wall jealous. Nothing to see except the occasional tree in the sparse expanse I could see outside my dad's windows. But as I looked out while my father and the crew descended the plank to the ground I could see the golden color of the ground move, or rather sway. "Wheat!" I exclaimed suddenly barking out the observation in a screech. I startled Optimus into swerving ever so slightly and something in my tone or maybe the fact that I scared him made him rumble in laughter. The others behind him were worried a moment before they got the data file that explained the action. I felt my mother's mirth through our link also after she'd accepted it.

I hadn't seen long stretches of land like this since… I can't remember when. Growing up as a human girl I saw mostly buildings and beach in the big city of NYC. But this was beautiful. I glued my face to my dad's driver's side window and he continued his chuckling as my forehead clinked against the faux glass.

"Do you know where we are at present Steele?" the prime asked me. I shook my head in answer. I just wanted to take it in. "Good," was all he stated. I gave his dashboard a dirty look and got another chortle in return.

Getting out of his altmode when we finally stopped driving to our destination, was uneventful as he transformed and picked me up in his hands in one smooth movement. By this time the humans that had come with us were unpacking Bee. I looked out between Optimus's fingers and gave a happy squeal.

The place, a small cabin he'd stopped in front of, looked just as if it had been plucked from a book in the late 19th century. It was rustic, surrounded by woods, and looking as if untouched for 100 years accept the windows were clean and the grounds had been kept up. Sam and Mikaela walked up and pushed open the solid door and cam face to face with an up to date big screen living room, modern kitchen, with electricity, running water, and an awesome netflix/satellite package. My dad dropped me to my feet gently on the steps of the front porch and I walked in a few steps to see them ogling the luxurious living conditions. I managed to get to the sofa still up right and ran my metal fingers over the soft material that made up the covering. I could even feel the comfort it would provide the humans even with my new way processing touch. "Wow," I breath them too saying.

"This is awesome!" Sam gushed.

"The bot out did themselves," Mikaela added.

But a large door that looked like it was made of metal sat at the back of the dinning room hooked on the kitchen and living room. There were no hallways or bedrooms to be seen. Looking out the front window my dad and the others had disappeared. The strangeness of the structure and losing sight of my dad made me suddenly start to panic. My wail brought Mika and Sam from their concentrated admiring and over to my side instantly. My crying coupled with a surprising loud ruckus behind the one large metal door in the back sent a foreboding feeling through my friends trying to comfort me also.

The door flew open and with a loud bang that made all three of us jump I screeched in fear, we could finally see the large blue optics of tree worried mechs and one femme. It didn't take any more than that to propel me forward through the door. Unfortunately, the door lead in to an underground room that branched off into large hallways tall l enough for even my dad and Ironhide to stand in, and the landing was small at the base of the door. The wooden banister that also formed the wall to keep everyone on the stair case leading down was waist height and the frantic dash toward my father sent my ass over tea kettle flying through the air in a rather ungraceful flip.

Undoubtedly thousands of possibilities and projections later within the half second it took her to know I wasn't gonna slow down, I saw a smaller pink form rise higher than she should be able to reach and pluck me out of the air in her servos catching me right under my arms. The shriek that had been let loose for the moment was suddenly cut off as she pulled me to her chassis and with a gentle thunk she landed in front of everyone. My father looked at her with a gentle smile and I just snuggled down in her chest armor trying to get as close to her as I could with out crawling into her sparkling hold. Her hand cradled the back of my head and pet I with soft whispers of reassurance.

Behind me I vaguely heard my human family come running toward the landing and give a scream to my airborne body that was cut off as quickly as my screeching was. With one sway I could see through the gap in my mom's armor at her side where her elbow held me, I saw the two of them being petted on by Bumblebee and Ironhide looking over his shoulder to make sure they were ok too. The old softy. Taking a long intake of air I looked back up at my mom sighing the large intake through my vents. The fear that had gripped me moments ago was now completely gone knowing that they had not left just went around back to let us know about the set up of the cabin.

"We need to be more careful with the sparklings," my father rumbled to the transformers present. He got several nods in return. "It would appear that although they've made excellent and brave steps forward from their ordeal, they will need to know our whereabouts and intentions of those whereabouts to make sure they are comfortable with being let alone, or out of sight for a given amount of time."

Sam sputtered, "Optimus really we're ok…" Prime just shook his head.

"No little one you are not clearly you and the other two need longer supervision of your healing than we had anticipated. Sometimes mechs as old as us are used to the atrocities of war forget the fragile nature of sparklings, or try too because of past traumas of our own. But it will not happen again." Sam looked embarrassed but Mika looked teary eyed.

"Thanks Big Bot," Mikaela said with a watery smile. My father returned it then plucked me from my mother's arms. The intentions had been easily read through our links and I gladly took his comfort too.

"Love you daddy," I told him as I snuggled into his armor.

"We love you too Steele," he answered for the pod that was gathered.

XXX

The small scare was the most exciting thing that had happened that afternoon than Primus. My parents took us around the cabin's lower levels that all the bots could fit in and let them see their arrangements. I had a bed in my parents' room of course and Mikaela and Sam were camped in Bee's room. It was a good set up. It was supposed to trick whoever was looking for us into thinking there was no one here. But my dad, mom, twins, and hide were enough to handle any con! And on that note, it seemed suspicious that he'd brought so much back up on this trip even if he was being paranoid. Something was going on.

As the grand tour was ending I asked my dad, "Why all da big bots daddy?" I knew he'd answer me truthfully or tell me it wasn't for a sparkling to worry over. But he did neither. I knew then I'd hit something right on the head that he didn't know I catch on too. He sighed out his vents.

"There has been some Decepticon activity in the area. We now have places like this cabin all over the united states to keep you, Sam, Mikaela, or any other humans with us safe while we have to scout and intercept Decepticons."

"SO whatr they doin? It's big huh? Cuz you brought me an other two too." The toddler speech patterns sometimes drove me crazy but they also encouraged that sweet "awww" look from people even those I didn't know so I let the irritation from it roll over me and kept listening for his answer.

After a minute of silence my father began to tell me the whole truth knowing that the bothersome feeling before had been the precursor to my last abduction. He'd felt guilty trying to protect me from what might come and turned out it left me ripe for the picking. "There is a military base near by that the Decepticons have attacked twice looking for some kind of information but it wasn't in the computers. The paper files storage area was what was attacked which is odd in itself. However, this last time they just slashed and burned whatever they could before the armed forces drove them off." I looked down pushing the fact that I felt slightly betrayed and hurt that the thing he had been hiding had to do with me. But the baby bot programming warred with the sentiment that he'd done something wrong. Always trying to protect us he couldn't have done wrong… But that was the kind of blind devotion that had laid the trap for me all those years ago. The blocks not used in a long time soon were being pulled up to guard me against the horrid truth that this presented and also the flaw that my new father possessed. But I did have one thing to add to the conversation that would take the mounting attention on my emotional state and put it back onto the situation at hand and that was my knowledge, "They lookin for somfin," I said quietly with my head bowed. The fact I had information didn't change the silent crumbling of the edges of my spark. "They want moon records…" The words left my vocal processor before I could sensor them too caught up into my own swirling whirlwind of emotions that had surged at my father's admission.

Vaguely I heard, "Moon records? What would they want with moon records from what the 70's? Earlier?" But it didn't matter whose voice it was because all outside stimuli ceased to be important. My father had known something was going to happen and then, it did to me… I could feel his apology and concern laced with fear that swaddled me in his arms. He pulled me to his chassis but the person, who dealt with the outside no longer cared what happened, and the tiny baby bot knew to the feeling of betrayal but an old friend of pain began to wither under the pressure that had once hidden the little girl so long ago. The inside of my spark/soul began to feel much like the Decepticons had been there too ripping out what peices they wanted or just burning everything to the ground. 'Would there be anything left? 'or 'Would it ever cease?' were the last things I thought coherently when my body slumped into my father's chest no longer willing to operate…


	31. Pedestal

Reboot 31

Hello to my reviewers I know two in less than 24 hours but I was inspired. I had to continue where I left off.

XXX

I came awake slightly to two voices that were louder than normal. The first one was angery, angrier than I'd heard in a while. "Optimus, I told you this was a slagging bad idea. It's was too soon after the trauma of aduction to take her out here."

The other voice was defensive and angry too. "What would you have me do Ratchet? Leave her there with just you and the others? You know she would have been sent into a spark attack. I had to come the attacks are getting to close to the humans for a Prime not to see to the aftermath!" It was dad and Ratchet? But he was way back at base. But his spark was close enough for me to know and feel. Yup he was there and cranky as ever.

"Pitting scrap Prime! You are the hardest helmed mech in your own force, and you say Ironhide is." There was an indignant bluster from the other side of the room but he didn't cut in. "She's developed an emotional glitch. There is no fixing this especially now Prime." The medic vented and I felt the air currents flow over me. I sighed in return.

"What do you mean an emotion glitch?"

"Just what I said! Like Prowl's glitch but when she gets an emotional overload mainly pertaining to you or her femme creator or close pod she will just stop working and fall into stasis lock."

Nice. What a thing to develop. I knew I was broken but this was going to be hell to work around. Optimus growled and then stomped he was really pissed and I could feel it leaking through our link. But the trickle of anger felt more like a small flare dancing in the open link to him and it made me laugh. Laugh? Boy I was drugged again. Damn. But I felt Ratchet pick me up as I opened my optics to him and smiled widely at his fuzzy form. "Hello little one," he cooed at me wiggling his fingers. I batted at them deep in my baby bot programming and little girl. The movement made me happy even thought it was simple. If life would just stay as fuzzy and as simple as his waving fingers it would be wonderful. "Yes," he crooned, "You heard your daddy and I talking?" I nodded and giggled. "Oh it was funny eh?" I nodded and giggled again. "Ok sweetling here is your daddy and mommy," he nodded toward a large red blue mech and pink femme.

And there they were tall and regal and I reached for them without hesitation because they were mommy and daddy. Life was that simple. There was a twinge in the bond as the thought flittered across my cpu and to theirs. But the bittersweet taste of the feelings were swept away as the love poured down the links with my femme creator and mech creator. "Sleep Sweetspark. We will keep you safe," and as far as I knew then they did.

XXX

It must have been many hours later that I woke up wrapped in my parents sparks. I lay there waiting to feel something of my own through the haze of my parents love and protection. Wading through the buffering links I finally found myself and I didn't want to go back to that place. There was pain there and betrayal even if it didn't make sense and there was no real fault all of that was there and I shook to my very spark as even it vibrated with tension. The wail was not unexpected but it made my parents cringe just the same. _**I don't want to go back there**_ was the plea I sent through my bonds. The answering bellow scared and surprised me even though I knew it was my dad.

_**My daughter, my gift from Primus, I would give any thing in this world or the next to save you this pain but there are some things I cannot do my beautiful Steele Mettle. I am sorry my sweetspark. We love you OUR sparkling. We are here let our love at least light your way.**_

And suddenly I was in that filthy sticky goo that seemed to scald me from the inside out and it was fresh. The betrayal was the worst. He'd known that something was going to happen to me and he didn't share it with me. He didn't even have the lug nuts to stay and fight for me when I was botnapped. Some Prime! Some Father! How the hell do I keep getting this shit? Why is it that I am destined to suffer through this life and the next? I thought that this would be different. They were so smart, and strong, and even bonded to their children, and it STILL HAPPENED. Trust was the key word. I couldn't trust him or her any more. IF they weren't going to entrust me with everything that had to do with me than they could kiss my ass. I was not going to go through this again. Not any more. And for the first time I pulled that putrid viscous lava around me like a blanket that seared me to the bone but I welcomed the pain this time. It would give me strength to do what was needed. To sever these bonds and minimize the baby bot programming that was warring with the very thought of completely carving this connection out of my spark.

And with that burning through me I turned that pain and anger and betrayal on to that of my parents. And looking down those brilliantly blue glittering bonds I hesitated just a moment a hiccup of resolve loosening. Because they links didn't recoil or withdraw as I had anticipated… They just stayed open and waiting as if to say "if you need to do this we will still be here in the end…" And this wasn't the reaction of someone who had betrayed me. This was the reaction of someone trying to reach me. The dichotomy didn't make much sense. _**Why can't you two just make up your mind! Do you hate me enough to give me to them or love me enough to leave your sparks open to this abuse from me?**_ And it was then I heard a sound that was soft and sad. It was the whimper of a femme so close to my audio that it gave me more pause. And somewhere in my empty optics they met the blue of my mother and I saw the entirely of her spark and then looked to my fathers and in his pained optics I could find his aching soul reflected in my blue eyes. And it was then I realized, they were both…

The mighty leader of the Autobots was just that a bot who was put in a shell just as any spark was that had come from the Allspark. He had a job before he'd become Prime along with a family and a mommy and daddy and even a brother who'd enjoyed the regular things a pod do like get energon together or laugh together. And the pedestal he'd occupied in my mind crumbled beneath the weight of the real world and the fall had nearly killed me. But my mother and father were both fallible mechs and femmes that would continue to do what they though was best for me and continue to make mistakes… And my father who was the titan who stood for all that was right sobbed in my audio once saying through our bond, _**Yes my daughter, no one but Primus is as you thought me to be my little one. But should I ever fail you again I would move Cybertron and earth to have you back. THAT I can promise you. However to be perfect and not make mistakes with your fragile spark I cannot. **_The thought hurt even him because he wanted to think he could always keep me safe and this was a very poignant reminder that he could only do his best and that would have to be good enough and when it wasn't Primus had a plan.

And the small whimper that had pulled me from my frustrated rage sounded again near my other ear fennial and I looked to her again hugging her and my father both. "Not betrayal, just human," I told them finally amidst my twitters and clicks of the sparkling language. And this time the recharge was a peaceful lull into my parents spark bonds cushioning my healing spark.

XXX

The next morning I awoke in my fathers arms as he rocked me. My mother was gone and Ratchet was mixing something and then he turned with a flourish giving my father my sippy cup. I grabbed for it but my father played get it if you can. After a few grabs it stopped being funny and when my optics clouded he put it in my hands with a chuckled and walked toward the medic. There was a looked that I didn't miss but put it aside for the time being. It was now understood that even if I wanted to know everything that was going on and that pertained to me it wasn't always going to be shared. I was a sparkling and they would treat me as one even if I didn't like it. The adult part of me could have been enraged by this usurped control of my life and the fear that went along with that mad. But I finally told it to shut the hell up and let me be here, now, with them. I finally had had enough and even if they made mistakes they loved me and they were looking out for me and my best interest. It didn't mean I wouldn't feel like all that again but it meant that I knew they were doing everything they could to keep me safe in a world I didn't know everything about. But they had also reiterated to me last night that they would share with me most things and seek out my advice on current happenings. As it was my slippage of things about the moon has them all in a whirlwind but my father is blocking any questions I can feel it.

To hell with them they could wait. It would all happened and even if Chicago went to hell in a hand basket and Cybertron got sucked into itself I just didn't care at this very minute because the baby bot inside me was enjoying now looking up at the lights as my father walked down the hall and the tangy metal aftertaste my energon had and the knowing of the sparks around me. So much caught my attention in this very moment and I wanted to soak up this quiet minute as these sensations so different from my human body. My father could feel my leaning into my baby bot programming because as we entered the underground rec room under the cabin he looked at everyone with a smile on his face plates and in a clear tone said, "Good morning Autobots. Steele has come to say good morning to you as well." The energy in the room suddenly went from a worried buzz to a lighter note. My mother came to my father and lifted me under my arms and into the crook of her elbow to drink the rest of my energon. I gave my cup a shake at her.

She nodded to me, "I know sparkling. Ratchet is still working on the right mix of metals for you sweetspark," she smiled. I nodded appeased by this explanation and snuggled into her. Both the twins came forward to click at me in Cybertronian and I smiled at them. They told me sweet things and called me by my special names only they called me. It made me feel special. Finally my mother sat down on the floor next to where the human living room furniture was just as I finished my energon. I heard Sam and Mikaela walk up to us and I sat up and looked at them.

"Hi!" I said excitedly. They crawled up on my mother's chassis with out fear and took my hands.

"Want to watch some tv?" Mika asked. It sounded like a wonderful distraction. And so turning to it I looked at the TV in the human corner of the rec room and pulled me down on the couch between them to watch a rerun of a cartoon that was innocuous. It felt like I was just any little kid and normal. I think for this trip I'll just lean into this baby bot thing a little more. Two metal fingers brushed down the back of my helm and I smiled knowing my mother didn't move from where she sat and watched over us as we all three unwound after the scare from the day before. There would be time later to examine all the scrap I knew from my previous life and time still to work through all the shit that needed wading through but my mother continued to guard the three of us and I was able to just be for now.


	32. Info

I hated being put in this position again. I knew more than I should and I sat here in the underground meeting room that also served as my dad's office. We were still at the cabin with the underground accommodations for the bots and the house on top looking completely ordinary. But the nature of the meeting going on was anything but normal.

I had finally succumbed to the unspoken questions racing through the processors of my creators and let them take me with them to the large room that now held my father, mother, Ratchet, Ironhide, the twins, Bumblebee, Sam, Mika and Prowl who had apparently come with Ratchet. I looked up at the assembled mechs and femme and after having calmed down before and agreeing to this interrogation promptly burst into cries. The mixture of guilt, pain, sorrow, and anger at the whole situation became to much to keep in and damn it I was a child again why did I have to keep it in anyhow? Who was I protecting any more from my fits of rage or sorrow? I didn't have children or a husband to burden. I couldn't hurt my previous human family by lashing out at them (even if they deserved it) I couldn't have done it back then. Back in that life I'd taken my lumps of every conceivable type borne by a human and kept moving, kept seeking, kept improving my life till it was abruptly ended. The thought I poked up toward Primus in frustrated anger. I received no retaliation nor punishment for my blatant defiant dislike of his plan, but I hadn't planned on any either.

So in the midst of this my father picked up my squalling babybot self and held me to his chest cradling me and rocking. The rest of the bots looking on in mixed acceptance, empathy, some others with hesitant mistrust and confusion. There were several in the room that weren't in on the secret of me being a previous human and how I'd come by all my info. Others who knew understood my flip-flopping of emotions and reluctance to tell what I knew. Unfortunately the knowing of my spark to those in the room gave rise to the ability to feel that slight mistrust and it stung. Through their links with me, my parents centered in on the mechs exuding this feeling and began with stern glares their way but my mother's burning spark was not quelled by her sparkmates stern gazes. She one by one opened the hissing door and shoved them out. First Prowl, then Ironhide, was pushed through the door roughly by my creator femme and her first directive prodding that was ignored became an all out wrestling match as she manhandled them out of the large room. Ironhide the strongest of almost all mech's living was even moved by my mother's small lithe form. There was nothing in the universe that came between a femme and her sparkling. This was an accepted truth however both mechs had put the old belief to the test as they were removed from my presence. When they were behind the door and the separations seemed to pull the negative, oppressive feelings from my spark the crying eased into sniffling and ragged intakes.

My mother came back in the room leaving two confused and pissy mechs behind the door. She came to me and with a smile that felt like the sun on a summer day light the space between her and I and she took me from my father curling me against her chest and beneath her chin plates where I wrapped my arms around her neck and snuggled into her. "Mommy," I said quietly into her audio and she nodded with all the confidence in the known universe and the unknown too. Her hand behind my head and the other around my back pulled me to her. The bond was solidified long ago but now the short distance from her spark to mine seemed to encompass my whole world as I felt her love and protectiveness surround me. It made me wonder momentarily who was scarier when protecting me. But I was just glad I had both. My even powerful father and my fierce spirited mother were both my creators and therefore my keepers.

I heard somewhere behind me a sound of clattering and banging of metal but the glow of my mother's spark tempered my curiosity and kept my spark free of the burdens for the moment as the twins, Bumblebee, humans and Ratchet stood in the room completely in the know. Their sparks were warm and comforting also. The babybot programming was guiding this interaction with everyone at this point and I just sat back along for the ride feeling freer than I had in along time. Being a child with no responsibilities to those who took care of me was a thought I was beginning to embrace. For once when I cried or felt lousy or just plain sad for no reason I could just be. That abandon was completely new to me. Feel, react, be comforted, and recover? What a concept. Granted it was more complicated than that since I was half a grown human with baggage to match but it was a alluring consideration. Now granted my actions had consequences and I understood that even in my babybot programming. But the ultimate responsibility of my care, welfare, and outcome weren't mine alone. As a mother in a previous life I knew what a parent's responsibilities were. But now I was no longer that adult but I was the child. And oh the bliss that thought infused in me. I fought, leaned into, melded with, let lead, protected, refused to acknowledge, and finally accepted as parts of myself, was the babybot programming and all it entailed.

Finally I was realizing I was a child and what information I gave to my parents and collective pod wasn't my responsibility any more. The power of my keeping this information or not wasn't really power at all. If Primus wanted them to know this they'd know it already or let me tell them. I only had the information from the movies and nothing in-between. I'd been conflicted too long but I hoped that whatever I had to tell them wouldn't back fire on me. I didn't mind being the messenger but I wasn't going to get shot for it either. What I had to say was going to be hard to swallow even for dad. My mother I didn't know. I knew though she was unconnected to Sentinel Prime and that would be my fort in the storm. If my father reacted at all in defense of his previous mentor at my knowledge of him it would do more damage to my spark than anything else I could imagine in this life. After everything we'd been through and that I was his child now his reaction would be a pivotal point in my life. And as I thought over this my mother was getting slivers of my information and feelings as this intel session was nearing. The bangs and thuds outside the door were now silent and my mother's presences suddenly brightened around me as the three large mechs came back in. The two behind my dad looking profoundly chastise although still confused. A wary warning look seemed to pass from my mother to my father as I was put back in his large arms. He rocked me then connected with me directly and let our bond embolden my mind and let my fears fall to the side.

I gripped his plates on the side of his neck letting my small fingers find places to slide into the tiny spaces between them even wrapping a finger around a sensitive wire. The hold was tight but not uncomfortable for my father but the fact I clung to him so desperately worried him. He tried to assure me of the others intentions, "Little one, they are sorry the do not know your spark as we do. It has been a long hard war my sparkling. Their cautiousness has…" but his words were cut off suddenly as I tightened my hold just a little. "What is it my spark?" he asked knowing it wasn't the others reactions that had prompted this tenacious embrace.

_**Before I talk tell me…**_ I'd recited this request before. It was my childlike, immature, longing to have him tell me he loved me still and even after this happened. Our bond lit with an intensity some could almost see and it flowed through me like a waterfall. The love in that blue glow was all encompassing. _**TELL ME…**_

He answered me out loud which I wasn't expecting but everyone heard it. "I love you Steel," he rumbled. I still didn't want to let the others hear my words so I asked one last question in our bond.

_**Even after?**_

"No matter what," he answered unflinchingly. There was no doubt in his mind, I could see it clearly. I hoped that was enough. My clench on his neck cables loosened and he set me on the table sitting in a seat right behind me pulling me to his chest, letting his fingers wrap around me. I looked up once more at him and he looked down the blue of his strength and the matrix's shining back through his optics. I put my head down and took a long intake.

"The Ark," I whispered through my vocal capacitor. The others could easily hear me and the collective intake around the room told me how shocking this news was even more so that I'd known about it. I looked up suddenly at my father my eyes were lit with something else that made my mech creator cringe slightly. From the others' knowing of my spark I could feel surprise, awe and little weariness. But all that paled in the face of my unfamiliar rage. "Sentinel Prime is a traitor," and suddenly the thing I feared most was spilled from my vocalizer in the heat of the moment thinking about all those mechs and femmes he'd killed that I'd come to love. I realized it a nanosecond to late and put my hands over my mouth plates gazing at my father unsure. He'd gone completely still as everyone around us erupted in pandemonium. Ironhide and Prowl were the most vehemently protesting.

"There is absolutely no Fraggin way he's a traitor!" Ironhide roared.

"There is no evidence to back up this accusation!" Prowl scoffed.

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were baffled but wanting more info. "Angel, how do you know?" Sideswipe questions while Sunstreaker at the same time cajoled, "Babydoll, are you sure?" Their plights I could understand given the circumstances. What I said a new sparkling a once human to their knowledge was spouting almost blasphemy. Their intention to protect me and their leader's memory was at complete odds with each other.

Bumblebee did that whine that made my CPU shiver and reminded me of him getting captured by sector seven. Sam and Mika were busy whispering things to him trying to comfort him. They didn't know what the big deal was but a babybot having information was something that was completely new to them too. Mikaela though had a better grip on what was happening than almost everyone in the room. She whispered this to Bee whose vocal capacitor stopped emanating those horrid sounds finally.

My mother was torn only a moment between my father and I and she crawled up on the table in the middle of the chaos and pushed herself closer to my frozen dad. She also pulled me closer to both of them.

Ratchet who was a politician long ago and knew the inner workings of the way Cybertron had been run and how the war had broken out on their planet. He'd been witness to the atrocities that had been committed and the transformers that had been slaughtered across the cosmos. While he had seen the underbelly of such goings on there was no such proof that Sentinel one of their greatest leaders and Primes could have been a traitor. But also having learned long ago many things are not what they appear he readied himself for the inevitable fall out and decided to monitor me whom he had long ago accepted to be apart of his pod no matter what. I knew he'd be one of the rational ones in this crazy discussion and when he pinged me to track my vital statistics I knew he was on my side.

There were several more denials and questions that needed answers but my father who had stilled his complete frame save for his cpu and spark, now focused his optics directly into mine where my mother had lifted me to him. His hands folded around my form and the blue of his optics were dull but resigned. His neural net completely at odds with the two sides the future and the past had needed a split second to chose which path to follow and for once in a difficult decision he chose me. He wrapped me in his arms and cupped my head with his hand. Through the link that now was wide open I could tell him why and explain to him how this hurtful thing could be true. But while I transmitted the pictures to him of what I remember I chose to speak also. I couldn't though till the others had quieted. Suddenly his dull optics flashed upward and behind me toward the ruckus the others made. The decidedly angry and frustrated Prime's look had hushed the others instantly. And then with the gentleness I'd come to associate with him he asked me softly, "Tell me my daughter."

"I knowed the ark was the lastest hope. He gots the space bridge and took it. But he's a bad bot daddy!" behind my head where I couldn't see but still hear I could just see the two bots who didn't know the whole story lean forward to protest again and my daddy Prime's eyes shifted to them again and that held their vocalizers. I yanked on a finger to get his attention back. "Daddy, he talked to Megatron afor he lefted. He didn't want no more war daddy. But he was gonna hurt you, or betrayed you Daddy!" My small fists banged on his chest and wrapped me tighter against him.

"I believe you Steel," he rumbled to me softly but the words were lost on me. I had to make him understand and believe me. The fate of everything counted on it not just mine but everyone's.

"Daddy peez, you gotta. He was a bad bot…" I opened my link with him wider and transferred to him the gruesome death of Ironhide and how Bee had been next. I knew that one of the twins might be on his list also if we went to get him. I showed him the destruction on Chicago and his arguments and agreements with the Decepticon leader. Every shred of memory that I could scrape from my human memory I shoved it through the link. My father recoiled slightly at the passion and pain behind it as I looked through them and seem to cry through the memories even though they weren't real not real here YET.

"Sparkling! Daughter! STEEL," the last name shocked me into pulling out of our connection and almost falling back into reality and looking into his optics that were now shuttered. His voice had been pained and the link felt raw.

"Daddy?" was all I could whisper in desperation.

"My Steel," he said pulling me to him tightly again and my mother wrapped herself around us also this time knowing the disaster that could have been the revealing was averted we both needed her now. "To have borne so much information my daughter. I question Primus' plans when placing so much on such tiny shoulders." He took an intake of air and let it out giving the ceiling a black look. But rubbing my back I could feel his sorrow at my having to have at one time witnessed those images and then having to fear his rejection or even his wrath once it was time to tell him. But Primus' ways were not ours and I didn't even understand the reasons why.

Now the room was quiet. I took this chance to look up him and he kissed the top of my head something he'd never done since transformers don't really kiss but the gesture was so comforting as he followed it with a slight motion back and forth it made me drowsy with relief. I laid back in his arm in the crook of it facing out and my mother took a step back now finally off the table looking at everyone around the room. "Daughter, you may speak whatever else you wish. I will let Ironhide and Prowl know if you wish it." The two Autobots in question looked at him and then me. I sighed. Here we go again. I nodded and in a few seconds they got the data packet and processed it. They fact I'd been a human before and the things I'd gone through and Primus' involvement in my creation directly was a basic necessity now a days. It saved me the pain of revealing it and took much less time. It had been years since I'd been in their midst and just now they were getting in the know.

Ironhide who was the first recover looked down at me with clear blue optics void of any emotion as if appeasing me now with this new information. It was only momentary and he rounded the table putting his hand out for me. My father plopped me into his hand with out a second thought and I was pulled to a large black chest and comforted by his spark as knowing me he sent a warm wash of love to me and I rested against his chest panels. I knew under that tough exterior was a big mushball. I smiled and hugged him. "Ironhide," I sighed against his shoulder as he lifted me higher against him. "I didna want him to kill you. You a good bot. Onea da best." I yawned and he balked slightly but my father sent him a segment of what I'd sent to him through our link and I felt the giant truck bulk again under my frame as I rested against his shoulder. He laid a cheek plate against my head suddenly letting the metal rub softly against me like a soft nuzzle.

"Oh little one so much for such a small spark. Thank you sparkling. We are shocked and unsure about Sentinel and this revelation little one but you are ours sparkling. We," he looked around the room meeting sure gazes accept for Prowl. "believe you." There was one last trial though before I could dissolve into that spluttering mess of crying that I wanted to so bad that the babybot/ little girl in me had already at the words I'd been waiting to hear for so many years, life times. Tiredly I lifted my optics to Prowl.

He looked at me warily as I lay in Ironhide's arms. "The sparkling that has been bonded to our Prime and his Sparkmate has been a human from the start? And NO ONE thought it would be important to tell the chief of security and the Autobot in charge of the Prime's safety during battle and otherwise? No one had the Computer power to question the…" he stopped as he was faced to face with my mother's gun suddenly.

"Prowl, shut your vocalizer," She yelled but it was already to late as I felt that mistrust seeping it my spark from the knowing. My cries were not of relief but of pain. It wasn't as bad as last time's spires breaking but the edges of my spark always seemed to be splintering into razor sharp crystals that wanted to shred my soul to pieces. This time however I was spared the agony as I was ripped from the warm spark of Ironhide and shoved into my mothers sparkling hold that was slightly snugger than it used to be but still plenty of room as I snuggled into her all consuming bond. As I sat next to the blue light hammocked in my mother's chest I felt my link to my dad wrap around me like a soft blue blanket.

I was then slightly separated from the world as it seemed to come to me in bits and pieces being filtered through my bonds with both parents. The things that made it in to my audios didn't make much sense but they were filed away for later contemplation and when I was in my own mind apart from the gauzy haze that covered the outside world. And it was through this membrane that a few laser blasts were heard along with a lot of yelling. Then I felt Ratchet's comforting concern filter through to me and his argument with my mother was for some reason funny.

"Give me that sparkling right now!"

"Absolutely not! She's staying right where she is next to my spark she needs that more than to be poked and prodded!"

"If you don't move your laser rifle from my face right now I'll…"

"Oh no you won't," she warned him I could almost feel her gritted denta when she growled next, "She's MINE." Picturing the violet hue to my mom's eyes made me giggle.

I couldn't think of anything more funny than a back peddling Ratchet when faced with my mom's fire. The mental image was punctuated by the three steps I heard from the outside world and then, "Ok Elita, She's yours…" and he didn't say anything else. I felt my mothers' body be almost dragged against a taller frame with small clank between them and my father's spark got closer. When they were this close it was like being just one big pile of blue fluff. The thought made me giggle again. Apparently with the contact with my dad and my laughter it calmed my mother down. I was still wrapped in our connections as the next part of the discussion was followed now that Prowl had decided for his continued safety that he wouldn't question the origins of the Prime's daughter. But the information I'd spouted was up for grabs as they started again.

"Prime," Prowl's voice rang through the room and through the cracks in my mom's armor. "Surely the information could have come from…" he was quiet for a second and then with a gasping noise I heard two thuds simultaneously but no one had fallen down at least not on their back.

"That Prowl is what my sparkling showed me. If we proceed with out the surety that Sentinel is a traitor that and much more will come to pass."

The voice that sounded now came from a shorter height but not the ground. "Prime how does this sparkling know our possible futures and so much about all of us that she can predict this so accurately and know our secrets?"

"The will of Primus is not ours to know even if it seems impossible," My father answered him clearly.

"Then she is a sparkling?" he asked unsure again. But his voice wasn't scalding this time.

"She is."

The voice that was Prowls came from very low this time as it bounced off the floor. My mother pulled me from her chest and out into the light again still she wrapped me close to her spark as my father did. When I saw his form he was on his knees before my mother and father and now me. "Then she is. The things she knows and the evidence per Ratchet, the twins, and even Bumblebee's data packs all conclude the same thing. She is ours. Forgive me little one." He said before promptly sparking somewhere in his CPU and falling over sideways.

"I knew that was gonna be a hard sell," Sideswipe commented.

"Yup," Sunstreaker nudged Prowls black and white form on the floor. The whole scenario was so normal all the sudden that it had me laughing as my father and mother retracted their filtering links and let me have the reigns so to speak again as my laughter absorbed the bots around me.

"Prowl glitched?" I squealed in delight as everything in me guffawed to actually see it happen.

Ratchet with a rare smile chuckled, "Oh yes, Steel." He then bent down with a grumpy expression. "I will fix this glitched mother board and get him back in here for the rest of the conversation. While I'm in there I might give him an attitude adjustment." I laughed again, cliché didn't even cover the scene any more. A large hand swept down my back as I looked up at my father. My laughter was tempered by what I saw there.

"We will continue this later my spark," he said softly to me and bent forward and put his head to mine. "We will plan around your information Steel and prevent this catastrophe. But those plans can come later since my tactician seems to be out cold."

"Alright!" Sam called, "Free time!"

Mika slapped him up side the head but giggled anyway, "What could we do?"

Bumblebee looked at his two humans secretively then opened a panel on his arm. Inside there were several human and sparkling sized nerf guns. Sam fist pumped.

"NERF WAR!" I called. Mika managed to grab one and throw it to me. It skittered across my dad's hand and then I clutched it and let a bright orange dart hit him square in the forehead and it stuck.

"Indeed," he said with a laugh and put me down next to the humans walking with me into the larger bot sized living room where there were many places to hide and run. Bumblebee followed us out and I guessed he'd been sent as my babysitter. But the security the action brought me overrode the slight annoyance. And out in the big open space I walked for a few steps and then resorted to crawling and rolling out of the way as Sam ran after me. My father and mother followed some time after walking right into an all out between me Mika and Sam with Bumblebee. If anyone asks the girls won.


	33. Park

Reboot 33

Hey all. I have been ill and will continue to be but will try to write some chapters as I'm able.

XXX

It wasn't even a full hour before I heard talking in the hall that included Prowl's voice. The tones were low but I could feel my parents, Ironhide and Prowl's sparks close. There was no covering a spark once you knew it except closing off the bonds all the way.  
>And even that leaves behind an emptiness where the bond had been. I was currently hiding under the couch aiming for Sam. They walked out of the hallway and came into view with their big struts and peds blocking my shot. So I did what any kid would do, I shot them instead.<p>

I sent tiny yellow and orange tipped darts that made a small 'fwap' sound as it suctioned to the black and white mechs leg. The sudden pinging of his sensor array through his body had him looking down toward the ground for the culprit. I laid there sniper style waiting for him to find it. He bent down low and pulled the small thing in-between his for finger and thumb looking at it closely. Not having been privy to the activity that had been taken up after he glitched he didn't know what to make of the small dart. He looked behind himself as he stood up straight looking at Optimus curiously.

"What in Primus' name is this?" Prowl asked my dad holding it up. Just as my dad opened his mouth to answer I aimed high as I could and sent a dart toward his chest. It was as high as I could see from where I was. It hit him dead center as I saw him start a little when it hit him and then looked down and plucked it from his chest.

He grinned. "It would seem we have a sniper loose." Prowl was for a moment about to go running and setting off the alarms but his posture suddenly relaxed as he looked around. My dad must have commed him before he went nuts. They both made a show of looking around the room but with one small calculation they could have back-tracked the trajectory of the dart. I knew it and so did they but they played along. My dad circled the room as Prowl went around the other side. I squealed as the both came closer to the couch knowing I'd given my self away but couldn't help giggling.

What I wasn't ready for was the swift black hand that shot under the sofa and grabbed my small waist and yanked me with precision out from beneath my hiding space and into the hands of the large black and white mech. Up till now the game has been fun but my quick capture and pulling motion on my body brought forth fears that hadn't surfaced in years. The intense panic that filled my spark raced down my connections to my parents almost before I even knew I was feeling it. But I was in the hand of a mech that had recently sent my spark into splinters at the edges and that feeling doesn't fade in an hour. The knowing of his spark was still tentative and knew comparatively to the others and its throb seem to be misaligned with mine that made my panic increase. My screech could be heard through the compound. The emotional pressure, fear and danger to my spark was sending the edges of my vision blurry. The knowing of my spark to Prowls let him feel the sudden switch in my mood and ability to cope. The familiar buzzing in the audios and the blurring of images he could sense was not anything knew to him. That is how his logic glitch bean to manifest. He'd been able to start ignoring the early warnings and redirect the affects as he had learned to deal better with it. It appeared to him I had am emotional glitch that acted in the same fashion.

With out another thought he strengthened his bond with me through our knowing and I allowed his warm spark that was careful and calculating but in a way that made it consider my needs not cold. The pull back from the initial scare and careful assessment of the situation only giving me what I needed but more importantly what I could accept. My parents crept close but didn't interfere yet with the scene before them. Just as soon as my scream started it had suddenly died leaving a palpable silence in the room.

The feelings that were weaker than my parents but strong enough to reach my spark and make me take notice flowed threw a new bond that was suddenly stronger than many of my knowing bonds to the other mechs and femmes besides a select few. And the surety and calm of the feelings that exuded form the knowing bond began to quell the incessant panic that nearly sent me over the edge in to the glitch. Someone had taken a very bold risk to help me back from that precipice and I was grateful for the serenity it brought.

Spires that had fractured slightly began to repair themselves as they always did and the blackness receded from the edges of my vision and I was able to gather my wits enough to recognized the signal that now held my spark steady. It was Prowl. I was curled into a tight ball against his chest armor above his spark in his large hands. And it felt safe. He then recognized through the knowing bond that I had come back to myself and continued to stay there as I was just waiting. For what I didn't know. "It's alright sparkling. You're secrets are safe with my spark and you are _OURS_." I nodded against his metal chassis.

"I felt you glitching," he told me softly. I nodded again. "It is very similar to my logic glitch the way it affects your neural net." My body was quiet and so was my mind in the presense of his tranquil spark. "It seems yours is triggered by extreme emotions you are pone to due to the past. My logic glitch is the price I pay for being able to think so logically without emotions to cloud possibilities."

"It's no fun," I said against his metal. I felt him chuckle slightly.

"Not it isn't little one. But it was a chance I jumped at when the upgrades were available. War can prod us to make choices we would not have in another time. However I have been dealing with the glitch far longer than you've been online by any measurement past or not. I can teach you how to lesson the effects of the glitch. In time you might be able to control it some since it not connected to your hardware."

I looked up at him then unfolding myself to sit in his hand. He had one behind me blocking the view to the outside world. Looking up at him I could tell he was completely serious. I nodded in comformation to his offer. "It'll hep me." I told him and then looked backward pushing his hand away so I could see the whole room. The sparks around me were slightly overwhelming and I needed some space. The stillness of Prowl's spark was a complete new sensation. And it felt nice. I didn't think I'd like this bond as much as I know I do now. However the balance in me was only because I was so close to a powerful equilibrium that was Prowl. He handed me to my father who brought me directly to his chest and opened his armor instantly to let me crawl inside and lie next to his spark.

I heard my father excuse himself and my mother to their quarters where I stay inside my dad's sparkling hold for a half an hour abouts and then moved to my mothers because hugging wasn't enough. As a sparkling with human memories which is how I was becoming to think of myself rather than a human in a sparkling body, gave rise to needs and options I'd never considered before. The needs of this body and babybot mind had foreign thoughts and feelings that were alien to humans especially to one who had just begun to know what love was. But here in my mother's sparkling hold still big enough for me even with the added inches I felt a peace that I hadn't felt before.

The babybot was opening doors to this new life that I'd previously been blocking and the living warm metal that encompassed my being felt like a hug all over and it radiated with the feelings imbued into it through her warm spark. In the light both of their sparks taking turns in both sparkling holds and then lying between them exposed to both, it began to melt the ice crystal that had been there for all these years and was letting the this new life take me more a little at a time.

XXX

A lot had happened today and I would have been content to just let the damn day slide on by as I kinda napped and rested between their sparks but duty called and my father and mother started to prod me through the bonds. I nudged them back grumpily and got and indulgent laugh in return. My father merely picked me up and let me snuggle in his hand against his chest as he walked toward his office room. There was little else I could do now that I had told them what the future held but there was no longer any doubt of my predictions.

My fathers loping gate that ate up the ground beneath his long strides made me feel like falling back into recharge and really letting the day go but the rocking was over to quickly and he rested his large frame in to his chair. Ironhide was the first to come in and my rest was intrupted by the doors sliding open. The sound was just like on those star trek shows and it was annoying. All the hissing was grating on my disgruntled mood. There was no talking since it seemed to be happening over their commlinks to spare me the noise probably but the door wasn't so kind.

Prowl soon followed after Ironhide, and then the twins in about 20 minute intervals that were just enough to lull back into a relaxed light recharge/drifting state and the damn door would whiz open. The doors hissed for the last time as the lambo twins left and I sat up suddenly with growl. My father looked down at me befuddled.

"What is the matter Steel?"

"Those fraggin doors!" I yelled. "Every damn time I get in sleepy dey WHOOSH open!"

My dad began laughing but I could feel his comfort through the bond that was grudgingly accepted since I was annoyed at his mirth. But he got control of himself quickly and looked at me. "Why don't you go play Sparkling? You need to laugh my daughter. You do precious little of that." He looked at me sadly. I thought about it and shrugged.

"Well I is not gonna get no sleepin wif you!" was my cranky reply. So he put me on my feet and I walked out of the room on my own to feet. It turned out I made it out of the room and some feed down the hallway before I fell to my knees with practiced ease. It has been my longest walk yet. It made me feel slightly better as I crawled into the common area where several of the mechs were including the twins and Bumblebee.

"Angel!" Sideswipe called as he headed for me. I rose up on my knees and he grasped me under my arms and swung me around with a few tosses. That always made me happy. I laughed as he did and with a quick fling I was in his brothers arms. I smiled widely and snuggled his yellow paint. I didn't think about leaving scratches because he never said anything. I guess if I did I was the only one immune to his ranting about it.

"Hey there Babydoll. We were just going to go for a scouting mission," he said in his normal voice, then quietly only to me, "wanna go?"

Boy did I ever! An actual mission? As a sparkling? My dad was gonna flip but I didn't care this was what I watched all those years ago on the TV. The movies, TF prime, the cartoon it was really getting in something I had seen a thousand times (literally). "YES!" I shouted then covered my mouth. I caught Bumblebee's eye catch mine and then grinned and waved. His eyes took on a suspicious look but let it go as the twins turned and walked towards the garage looking door to head out. Sunstreaker tossed me to his brother and he broke apart into many pieces fitting them together as he molded himself down into a car. Sideswipe gently let me on my feet and then did the same himself leaving two Lamborghinis in their place. I decided to hop into the red one since I'd taken Sunstreaker last time and with a squeal of the tires they raced out of the underground base.

XXX

"Scouting" turned out to be patrol and after the first few minutes I got board. The adult in me was content with the fact there was nothing dangerous but the babybot programming was pretty insistent that not only was I board I was BOARD. I huffed for the third time in the last few minutes leaning on my seatbelt staring out the window. They knew it was coming when I finally let it out, "Sideswipe!" I whined. That always set him on edge.

"Aw, Angel. Please don't whine you know it sets my circuits on edge."

"I sorry, I just board!" another huff followed.

Through Sides' speakers Sunny's voice came, "Come on Babydoll were almost to town. Just another few minutes and we were thinking of sending our holo's with you to play at the park."

"It was gonna be a surprise!" Sideswipe sniped.

"Yes well it stopped the whining didn't it?" He snapped back. I was bouncing in my seat.

"The PARK?! YEAH!" They both chuckled. In the back of my mind I don't see how they could have gotten clearance from my dad and mom for this but they did things like this all the time without clearance and took the punishment with smiles as long as it was to my benefit. It was only 10 more minutes before we came to a large park that had swings and things to play on and I grinned as big as my faceplates would let me. I yanked on the door and tired to run off as Sideswipes holoform appeared beside me. I had seen them before but there was something that was also so fake about them that made me shiver but for a play in the park I'd put up with the feeling.

"Oh no Angel," he said softly pulling on my hand. My face fell. "I mean not yet," his glove box fell open holding two pink braclets and I looked closely at them before picking one up. They had energy in them I could tell but they looked like normal little bits of pink plastic. I gave him a questioning look, "Yup those are for you. They will allow you to hold a form over yourself since you can't create one yet. We will be powering it, but it will give you freedom to move and be seen without drawing attention." I clapped and squealed.

"I can go out! I can play!" I put the bracelets on and suddenly I glowed slightly and I looked down and I suddenly had human pink arms and as I felt them they felt real. The soft flesh with its slight warmth and small hairs on my forearms was a strange feeling as through my fingers it was felt like I remember however the sensors from the skin were dull and it felt like I was separated from the world by a rubber suit. It was just a mix of my Cybertronian sensors and my human memories filling in the gaps and it seemed to take me a full minute of just rubbing my forearm to finally adjust.

"Babydoll?" I heard the voice kinda far off and I jolted my head up and looked at the radio and then to the man looking in the open car door who had the most golden blonde hair and blue eyes that I'd ever seen. His innate beauty always made me catch my breath a little. And then the identical face and eyes accept for the fiery red hair next to me put his arm on mine.

"You ok? You were like glitching or something for a full click…" he looked at me speculatively.

"I'm ok," I told him with a shaky smile. "Human and bot minds mixing," I told him by way of explanation. It seemed to appease them and I was lifted carefully into the holoforms arms and carried to the park equipment in the middle of the grass where the sand was. When then set me in the sand on my butt I looked around from the ground feeling smaller than I had in a long time. But I sat with my legs sprawled out to the sides like a W and I leaned into my hands running them through the sand feeling them letting the sensations filter through both my human and Cybertronian sides of my mind and let it fill my. There was suddenly a commotion on the other side of the playground where I heard the higher pitched voices of other children some my approximate age as a human and others a little older.

A group of I'd guess third graders made of two girls and one boy started walking up to me as the two holos's were leaned against the tree directly behind me about ten feet away. I could feel their eyes on me, both sets. The little girl with glasses and brown hair with green eyes crouch in front of me. "Hey," she said informally and looked me in the eyes. My eyes must have been looked much like my twins behind me because her breath caught as I met her eyes. "I've never see you before. Where are you from?" I looked down suddenly and thought and looked up.

"From Cali," I said trying to sound as grown up as I could manage. There was an odd look that swept across the faces of the three children. My eyebrows furrowed.

"You're a long way from California," I just nodded to the boys obvious observation.

"Do you wanna play tag?" The blonde still standing next to the boy asked slightly board trying to get this over with so they could play. She didn't look like she wanted to be over here right now. That would not bode well for me. I took a deep breath and let it out. I made an attempt to get up to my feet in the sand but it was like nothing I'd ever stood on before and fell back to my knees in front of them. I sighed and sat there on my hands and knees.

"Can't, sorry," I sat back and looked up at them. The girl had an unpleasant sneer on her face.

"You talk funny. And you can't stand up? Are you retarded?" The blond girl with the pony tail and brown eyes asked me. But before I could even answer the other one who had crouched to my level shot up and shoved her to her butt.

"What's wrong with you Rose?" the other girl asked her sharply. "You know my little sister has autism are you gonna call her retarded next?"

"Ya that was harsh," the little boy who had on a blue hat and jeans told her looking down at her fallen form. Rose's bangs fell in her face as she looked down and she sat up her posture mirroring mine and her skirt was a little dirty but it was brown any way so it wouldn't show much.

"Sorry," she answered with a huff. "You're right. I shouldn't be mean she's new…" and she looked up at me and with a half smile stuck out her hand and I went to grab hers and a sharp voice behind me called my name.

"Steel!" Sideswipe hollered and then ran up. I dropped my hand and she did too. The blond back pedaled on her butt.

"I didn't mean it I swear!" she cried.

"I'm not worried about you," Sunstreaker looked her up and down and then came to my side. "She is unused to …." I could tell he was using the net. "Holding hands," he said finally.

"She's got it too Jen," Rose called up to her friend who crouched again.

Her gentle eyes looked at me and she smiled and then she turned to Sunstreaker and asked, "Does she have autism?" He looked at me and then at her blankly trying to figure out the right answer. TO them I realized my limited motor skills and my limited speech patterns might mimic some of the same symptoms of Autism and I nodded to the yellow twin who then nodded to Jen. Well this was a convenient accident to have a way to explain my older look but younger actions would serve a purpose in the years to come when in the public should the need arise.

XXX

The simple human exchange only was able to last a few moments because I suddenly fell my twins go rigid. "Frag," one said as Sideswipe picked me up pulling me onto his hip as if I weighed nothing.

"Incoming," he whispered in my ear. And without a look back they ran for their altmodes. With a soft whimper I looked back at the baffled children and I waved before I was placed in the care swiftly and for show sake they ran to their driver's sides and peeled out of the parking lot. The power humming through the bracelets powered off and were just left on me inert and looking as if they were just pink chunks of plastic again.

The seatbelt turned into a five point harness and they didn't make any effort to hide their worry or their communications with my dad. I could hear it in my head as they started the conversation when they first spotted them and we made a dash for their real bodies.

_**This is Prime are you out of range of civilians?**_

_**Not yet sir.**_

_**Is Steel safe?**_

_**The package is intact boss.**_

_**You two better bring her back in…**_

_**Not a scratch on chassis Optimus. We are the best remember?**_

_**Understood. Bring my sparkling back…**_

_**Always**_

The last transmission from my dad left me almost empty. He was worried and it made me worried. He doesn't worry about much but when he does it's bad. And the breach of commander voice to please with them crushed me. I let out low whines into the cab. The only thing that kept me from flying apart and glitching was the surety of the answering 'Always' from the twins in unison. The straps on my harness pulled me just a little tighter as we were suddenly overtaken by two jets that soared low enough to rattle my processor with their engine noise.

I would know that one jet any where, that sniveling traitorous femmey mech, Starscream. But the other jet I didn't know. I pointed up after I pulled my hands from my audio receptors and cried, "Starscream!"

"Yes and we just passed the city limits hopefully they wont engage us until we get farther toward the forest."

"The longer we can drive the closer the back up gets." And with that the both put on a burst of speed. But we didn't make it far as the two jets' paths curved straight upward and curved back on themselves aiming down toward the ground.

"FRAG FRAG FRAG! We aren't far enough…" and the rest of what the red twin said was lost as the ground shook with the landing of the two mechs in root mood in front of us tearing up the street beneath their feet and sending three cars off the road and one crashed into the unfamiliar jets ped he merely stepped on it in retaliation. The two Lamborghinis reversed far enough away both transforming as into a back flip into their root modes to face the two Decepticons. It was at this time I was introduced to Sideswipes sparkling hold.

It was about as big as mom's so I wasn't uncomfortable but the malleable metal of the hold wrapped itself around me like a second skin creating a cushion between me and all the sides of the melee fighters body.

I couldn't see anything from my new place but I could hear the grinding denta of my protectors. "What do you want you fraggers?" Sunny ground out.

The answer was in that high pitched whiny voice that was like listening to nails on a chalk board. "Straight to the point as usual Sunstreaker? Well our leader is under the impression that there is a sparkling in your midst and we were patrolling this side of this dirtball and happened across such an interesting signal one that was weak but unknown to any of our records. If it was a dieing Autobot we wanted to hasten that outcome. And if it was a dieing Decepticon well we might have gone either way. However we find you two and now the faint sparks signature is gone."

That was when I realized that my spark signature was being masked by the twins. Their special bond must be strong enough to overwhelm mine this close to one of their sparks. In any other instance this would have been a wonderful experience but right now it was terrifying. I knew there would be a fight I just didn't know if we'd all make it out alive. I don't remember any of this from the movies or the books in-between the movies. It seemed like things were either escalating or my being here had changed some things. Whatever it was wasn't good now. They knew I was here and that was bad news for us.


	34. Siblings

"You're all glitched," Sunstreaker quipped back at the Decepticon in front of him. He lied so easily. The need to do so to protect me didn't bother him in the slightest. I could feel it so in their sparks being close to their twin bond.

Balanced between the two sparks was a very wonderful feeling. The resonance between the two was unlike my mothers and fathers that were two different tones in the same harmony. This felt like the same notes that just added cords to each other but echoed the same everything. Rhythm, tone, and even thoughts seemed to come from the same central point that came from two points at the same time. One spark two bodies. But the marveling over the beautiful resonance I was bathed in was quickly slammed to the side of my helm as I felt myself moved backward in response to the forward movement of the body I resided in.

Sideswipe must have moved forward in a quick burst which was quickly confirmed by the sound of ringing metal. Sideswipe was infamous with his swords as well as his twin. They were nearly unstoppable in battle. With me in the fight though I didn't know how it would affect the bots. The first jerky motion forward was followed by several others as well as swerves to the right and left. But the bulk of the movements weren't directed in an aggressive push forward most of them were moving back. I knew this by the sudden jerks forward getting the opposite reaction of his movement in his chest. I didn't once clink against the sides of his insides and the movements were smooth and never rough. Everything the red bot did was like living inside a ballerina, a homicidal ballerina, but just as graceful but deadly as the ninjas.

I would have giggled at the parallels I was drawing between tutu wearing humans and my twins but the situation was to dire. The sounds were nearly deafening inside the chest of the red twin. I could tell he was taking hits and was letting his brother do most of the slicing and dicing. A trickle of worry began to become visible in their spark bond as I was cradled there so close I could feel it and see it. Their fighting style was different this time trying to protect me and the two dense Cons were beginning to catch on. As time stretched between the start of the fight and back up getting there the morons in front of them were noticing the differences in their fighting techniques.

_**Their trying our defenses bro**_, Sunstreaker called to him through the spark bond as I heard another clang and the sheering of metal.

_**They know there's something up. They are going to find a way through if I don't start engaging more but…**_

_**I know…**_

It didn't take a spark bond to know that if he engaged aggressively that he would be put in more danger and thus me.

I heard a shot go off close to the red twin's body and the burst of explosion near the chest of Sideswipe where I hung suspended in his sparkling hold was near deafening. Sideswipe could feel my sudden pain in my audios and jerked left away from it. I heard a cackle in response.

"Look here Thundercracker, Sideswipe is jumping from plasma blasts now!" Starscream screeched with glee.

"Looks like his pretty twin here is protecting him," I heard Thundercracker say this just as another scuffle broke in front of where Sideswipe was standing. I could hear the cut through the air of a weapon and then it being deflected by not Sideswipe but Sunny. The heat inside Sideswipes spark began to radiate hotter. There was a terrible fury inside their spark and that is when I remembered back to their story in the arenas. And that was when I knew that fury. The deep well I'd capped with the help of my parents several times bubbled in response to this new revelation of the twins spark. Only inside the echo between them could I get this deep a look into their souls with out being bonded to them like I was to my parents. But our past traumas seemed to have blurred the lines between their anger and mine and the putrid lava barely contained called to the dark energon plasma that was like a slag pit inside their spark.

It was as if we existed in the corporeal world and also half way inside our sparks/souls. The call from their violent nature and dark plasma met my putrid black lava that I unleashed inside myself purposefully. For such a long time it did nothing but make me a miserable wreck of a human being staining my entire life. This time it was a weapon that I could use to help those I loved. And so answering the heating of Sideswipe's spark as well as Sunstreaker's I used the energy of emotion that created the bottomless pit and shoved it toward the twins bond my own spark heating in response to the outflow of energy. It only took a fraction of a nano second and both felt the surge of energy between them and inside their sparks. The blue energy fed their systems a powerful boost and set their CPUs on overdrive with capabilities they didn't normally possess. Their computing power doubled as well their strength.

The decision to surge forward against the Cons was made in the same nanosecond that the flood of power came over them and they both plowed into them with unrelenting force. The movements from inside the red twin felt like I was floating. The movement never stopped and the sensation of free falling and never jerking back and forth was comfortable. The noises outside weren't as comforting though. There were several screeching of metal sheering and then screams of another nature that I didn't want to process. But then a thin fog wrapped around my neural net processes that drowned out the scary sounds. I don't know how long I lay in that haze that was comforting and protective. But I did remember the heat suddenly cool into the normal blue glow of a spark both theirs and mine. And finally I was too tired to remember anything else.

XXX

When I awoke again I was surprised to find that I hadn't been moved from the sparkling hold of Sideswipe. But the surprise gave way to understanding when I felt his protectiveness and care surround me. The bonds of my parents were tentative and worried but as I sent reassurance down the links I was trying to unravel what was happening myself. From inside the spark bond between the two twins I heard them calling to me. _**Babydoll…Angel…**_ both their voices filtered into me. Wherever we were we were safe and supine or at least Sideswipe was.

_**Ya? **_Was all I could say back

_**Thank Primus your ok! **_Sunny said relief in his mental message I could feel it, much like my parent bonds only not as high? It was hard to explain. It was like a parent but not. These damn bonds are so complicated.

_**Ok. **_I told both of them and that relief doubled from both sides of the bond. It felt like stereo. The sensation through my spark was soft and bitter sweet.

_**Angel, do you know what you did? **_The thought from Sideswipe was tentative but almost in awe.

_**You was mad?**_

_**Yes**_, Sunstreaker answered.

_**I was mad?**_

_**Yes**_, Sideswipe answered.

I shrugged mentally through the link, _**Gave you my mad. **_It was as simple as that the only thing that was strange to me was how clearly I could feel them over my parents and their spark bond to each other. There was two soft chuckles over the link suddenly and the sparkling hold I was in opened. The light blinded me a moment but I didn't even have a chance to focus my eyes before I was snatched up by my father holding me close. My mother wrapped over arms around his. Their cries weren't as comforting. They had been really scared and without the cover of the twins bond over mine I could feel their distress.

"Steel," was my fathers only words to me that were audible. The rest of his message was sent in waves of love and worry toward me. I could tell it had been some time since the twins and I had gotten back to the base but what I was getting was that they couldn't get to me because of the interference of the twins which was a huge deal according to the law of Cybertron however the exception was sibling bonds that could effectively act as unofficial creator bonds in emergencies. Through my dad's hands I looked back at the two yellow, and red mechs sitting on a berth in the medbay scratched and banged up but pretty clean from coming out of a skirmish. Their heads were downcast as if they were ashamed. My father's looks at them were almost venomous over my head. My mother's stares were just as dark.

I had to clarify the wrong done so that they wouldn't be hurt. I could see that Ratchet was at a loss of what to do since this hadn't come up for more than a million years by earth standards. Looking from twins to my parents and back again they couldn't continue to keep their looks of fear and sadness when their optics met mine. The blue that shone on me was brilliant. It was a sibling bond alright. I had a hunch that my parents couldn't feel it yet because of their overwhelming feelings of fear. I pulled myself up to look into my dad's optics and then to my mothers.

_**Mommy, Daddy! **_I called happily to them in my spark. Their blue light engulfed me to overflowing. The sensation made me momentarily hitch in my intakes it was so powerful. But the outpouring of their love made everything about the last day right itself in my spark. The sibling bonds I realized were ok substitutes for a short time but these links with my creators were one of a kind with both femme and mech creator. Catching my preverbal breath I told them, _**I love you! I misted you!**_ And I couldn't keep the crying from my soul at the thought of being taken by the Cons but it was only momentarily till I finally found my train of thoughts again.

It was in response to my parents thoughts, _**Never again, **_was the thought my father shot not only to comfort me but it held a tone of dark resignation aimed at the twins. Somewhere inside I could feel them flinch.

_**MY SPARKLING, **_my mothers spark flared dangerously at in the twins direction and that I knew they felt like a physical blow. They cringed visible to all present which turned out to be EVERYONE we brought with us. My mom's spark was warming like the sun but was becoming closer to the critical mass of a super nova. I grabbed both of their chest plates snagging their attention. I knew they had been grateful that the twins had saved me but the interference in getting to me afterward which must have lasted at least an hour to make them this angry was up and over the top. Their creator bonds were in control now. I could tell they didn't know they were now linked to the twins because of the new sibling bond.

_**MOMMY DADDY! They is my brother!**_ The force of my feelings and my message took them both aback and they centered their sparks on me rather than fuming over the twins. I finally had their attention, _**Mommy Daddy look…**_ and I welcomed them into my spark full access granted and the new light that tethered me to the twins bond to each other shown brightly. The meaning behind the new sibling bond was not lost on my creators. They looked from me to the twins and then back again with amazement in their optics. The twins gave a bashful wave at them and my father had just had enough then and his large frame just began to tilt toward the large berth he was seated on with my mother and I.

The resounding thud was so loud I covered my audios and my mother plucked me from his arms in time to save me the ride. My mother shook her head. "Oh Steel," she said fondly exasperated. She gave the twins a look and then held out an arm to them in which she accepted them into our family. They both hobbled over to her happy just to not be in deep slag.

Ratchet interrupted the whole family hug thing with a loud, "What in the frag happened!?" It was then I giggled and my father seemed to come around and sit up again rubbing his helm. Optimus then put his hands on the shoulders of each of the twins. He gave them both an exasperated but fond look and then his gaze met Ratchets and then everyone's in the room.

"My sparkling is a very complicated femme. She's proven she not only has the Call of the Lost but a Primes courage and strength. In the midst of battle with the twins and the Decepticons earlier she was in Sideswipes sparkling hold as you all know, and tapped a power she'd long since thought were merely dregs from her complicated past. However even the things that happen to us that might bring sadness into our lives it helps us connect with others of similar experiences. Her spark loaned her energies to the twins as she was directly between them in their bond and created a sibling bond in the process."

Ratchets optics went wide. "Dear Primus, you're now bound to those two lugnuts!"

"It could be worse," Elita drawled.

"Oh really? Who could possibly be worse?"

It was time I took my chance to lighten the mood. I piped up finally in the middle of the loud conversation. "Starscream!" I called to take the spot of whatever she was going to say and it was Sam who started the laughing that finally made it around the room and through even Ratchet's vocalizer. With the tension now gone we could get into more important issues like what the hell we were gonna do now that they knew I was around and that they were actively seeking me…


	35. Cybertonium

Hello my faithful readers thanks for hanging in there. It's been a hard year. Sometimes the muses leave me for a while but come back.

XXX

It didn't take long for the levity of the situation to wind down and feel more like the seriousness of the early morning before the fight and the park. I really didn't want to do that again the discussion in the morning had worn me out enough for one day. Although I could feel in our bonds that my parents were worried about the future there was time to plan for this now. We all knew that the Decepticons had been busy attacking different facilities in different countries why they didn't know.

The tiredness that had come over me wasn't and unfamiliar feeling. I was no stranger to being tired. In my previous life emotional burdens left me burning fumes most days and then as I went along and began to heal those, my body was ill for some time before the accident and that had left me exhausted at times too. It wasn't until a few months before I became Cybertronian I'd let on that something was wrong. Whatever it had been was rare and they performed many tests but I wasn't in that life long enough to find out. But it didn't really matter did it? It must be the emotional toll that this life brought with all its craziness and my other baggage. It has been quite a wacko day.

It was late afternoon coming up on evening, and my tiredness gradually began to degrade into a sluggish feeling that began to even affect my normal systems. I chirped for my parents and decided to take a cup of energon and call it a day with them. They were not surprised by my sudden desire to go to bed early and so with a nod to Prowl my parents turned in with me needing the bonding time after the scare from just hours before.

XXX

The next morning was early since I remember my father telling both me and mom that he had a meeting. I felt him pulling away and wrapped my arm around one of his armor plates. He couldn't move without prying my hand off or hurting me so he stilled a moment. I felt his optics. "What is it sweetling?" he said with a smile in his voice.

"Don go," I told him still groggy. That was unusual the programming of a transformer was only like this if sedated not waking normally but the significance of this was lost on me. I couldn't muster the energy to care. My father picked me up and put me in the crook of his arm and slipped a cup of energon into my mouth without me even reaching to grab it. I swallowed easily but my lack of effort in the morning ritual had triggered a sliver of worry into our bond and the feeling brought my mom awake and to our side. She looked at me and then to Optimus.

"Steele, are you operating in normal parameters?" she asked me stroking my helm.

"I dunno," I sighed. "Tired."

"You require more recharge sparkling?" my father queried worriedly.

"Ya," I yawned. The babybot was effectively coasting in the programming and was running the show. Energy was low and so was my will power to assert myself. He looked at me funny but I paid it no mind as I finished my sippy cup and let the energon fill my tank and then let it fall to the side of my mouth where Elita caught it. I decided to snuggle into my dad's chest and ignore the outside world for now. What ever was whispered in hushed uneasy tones above my head in Cybertronian was lost on me as I sank back into recharge.

XXX

It was sometime later I sluggishly came to again but this time was even harder to lighten my optics. My energy was low even though my tank was full. The lack of ability to move and think was being muddled by my slow processing. Something was definitely wrong that I knew but literally working up the energy to care was even harder than that morning. Then a sensation of pain sliced though the fog and scared me into action.

It was my spark it had deviated from its normal steady humming rhythm and it had slagging hurt. My cry as weak though but my scream tore through the bonds. I realized I was in my fathers sparkling hold and he must be mid-meeting. His whole frame stopped moving and a few seconds later I heard a door get peeled back from its resting place not having had time to pull itself into the wall. Something frightened whatever humans were about because I began to hear screams but it was just my mother flying into the room.

I was dumped into my father's palms and under my mother's scrutiny. She ran her hand over my small body and I thrashed. There was something wrong I could tell now and it was bad. My mother and father were already running through the underground base toward the medbay when the second sharp pain lanced through me. My cry was a little stronger this time but the tired feeling I'd shaken off was beginning to creep back into my processor and limbs.

They skidded to a halt placing me gently on a berth in front of Ratchet who was already scanning me. His powerful optics swept my form as I watched them change and whirl. I reached for him. He picked me up almost instantly considering I was clicking and whining. Somewhere from his arm he held over me as he scanned me even deeper it felt down to the very elements that made my body, a small needle painlessly injected something into my circulatory system. The pain that was building suddenly stopped and I fell almost limp in his arms. There was no more reason to struggle since he'd blocked the mounting pain.

There hadn't been any more flitters of my spark yet, but the look on the CMO's face was grim. "Slag it!" he yelled as he slammed a fist into the berth I'd been on. I didn't have the energy to even flinch.

"For Primus sakes Ratch what is wrong with her?!" my father's voice bellowed.

"No time quickly on the berth!" The clatter my dad made scrambling onto the large metal table would have been funny if the situation had been less serious. My mother joined him quickly. My body was being laid upon the Prime's chest flat against him arms to the sides hugging him. And the small needle he'd put in my arm was hooked to a machine that sounded like a pump and another to the other arm that circled back to the loud thing. Another needle was then fitted into the crook of my dads elbow joint where there was a space to access a tube and this was hooked directly into the machine also.

I heard my father grunt as the machine was turned on and the pressure in my systems was reversed completely in a matter of seconds. The feeling made me dizzy but there was no pain. My mother laid on his shoulder of the arm that was stretched out to give the bright yellow hummer access to his inner workings and Optimus brought the other hand up to cover my small body. The energon entering my body was the Prime's and mine left my body and was being siphoned out. The rush of new pure energon that ran through my systems made me feel tingly. It was like electricity was dancing over all my internals.

My spark slowed very gradually as more of my father's life's blood was pumped into me at a measured pace. It was then I heard Ratchet, he vented heavily and then spoke. "Her systems were deteriorating. The minerals here on earth just aren't enough to keep the processes that our bodies need to carry out. I tried to replace them with other elements native to earth but it's not going to work. Her shell was launched into space millennia ago. She may not have been sparked yet but her body is old. We need Cybertonium. It flows through our systems in our energon and modulates our electrical charge to every part of our bodies. With out it we get surges and can't maintain proper charge to all our body parts and systems. I didn't think that the deterioration of the elements I'd been replacing it with would degrade this quickly."

I watched the mech put his face in his hands. He was worried and angry at himself. I could feel it in my spark. "This is the only way to get it to her until we can get some more."

"Isn't there any where we can find some even in the solar system? We could take an expedition…" Ratchet was already shaking his head at Elita's statement.

"Cybertonium is only found on Cybertron. It's an element much like Silicone on earth it makes up much of our protoforms and our planet at least ¼ of it."

"How often will she need these infusions of adult Cybertronian energon?" I heard my father grunt again. He looked like the process was uncomfortable for him.

"Every two weeks. But as she sits now the from this infusion it will take the better part of today for it to absorb and start to make an affect in her energy level." Ratchet vented again.

"The twins are at the medbay door Ratchet let them in before they blow it down." The door opened immediately and Sides and Sunny ran in coming to my side of the berth that my mother didn't occupy.

"Steele," they said together almost in relief. One petted my helm and the other my feet. "What the frag happened?" Sunny demanded. Sides' optics were boring into Ratchet as well.

"Her spark was flicking due to a lack of Cybertonium in her systems." They both gave him a blank look. Another sigh and face palm. "Cybertonium is critical for every transformer. It can only be found on Cybertron and is part of our alloy that make up our frames. Her frame was ejected from Cybertron over 1000 earth years ago and the radiation of space and now the earth's atmosphere is leeching it from her struts and processor. It's a semi-conductor that allows our internals to work without spitting electricity everywhere outside. It insulates but also carries the signals from our processor to all our metal bodies. With out it we become sluggish and then we can't control our movements or thoughts. Ultimately there is spark failure."

"How is she gonna continue to keep going doc if we can't get any?"

"Infusions of adult Cybertronians energon every two weeks." Ratchet told them.

"You'll have the whole base lining up to help her," Sides smiled.

"That unfortunately won't work. It has to be a spark bonded adult," Ratchet revealed grimly. "We all have nanobots that flow through our systems that are imprinted with our spark signature. In another Cybertronian's systems they are rejected and can cause problems in all of her systems. The spark bond will allow her body to not reject those who she is bonded too because they recognize you are apart of her spark therefore they are accepted into the body and there for her systems. Only you two Optimus and Elita can help her."

Their eyes met mine suddenly. The blue in their optics burned brightly with an intensity that I'd seen rarely. "Don't worry baby doll. Me and Sides will be here to help too."

"Ya angel we gotcha," I smiled at Sideswipes declaration and then to Sunstreaker.

_**Thanks **_I sent to them in our connection. They both smiled at me. "Welcome," they said in sync.

There was a polite knock on the door. Ratchet opened it showing Prowl. He walked in slowly assessing the situation. "Prime," he addressed officially. He then turned to Ratchet. "How is she?"

"Stable now."

"I am glad. I will report to the humans that the Prime is unavailable to finish today because of a family emergency. When would you like to reconvene?"

"Tomorrow no later," Optimus said through gritted denta. I lifted my head a little to look up at him.

"Daddy?" I heard the door shut behind someone leaving. I knew the twins weren't going any where so Prowl must have left to fill in everyone else and the humans who'd been at the meeting. My father had his optics squeezed shut and was very still. He tried to look at me with a relaxed face and a smile but he couldn't manage it. His eyes were a dull blue. I then looked at Ratchet, "Ratch?"

"I'm sorry little one, the machine creates a suctioning affect that tugs at the natural flow of energon toward the spark and then out again. Plus the loss of volume lessens the natural pressure that our bodies have within our circulatory system. It's not comfortable for the one being siphoned from." I looked back and forth from him to my dad and then laid my head back on his chest.

Through our bond I could feel now his carefully hidden pain and pulled it to me. I couldn't do much outside my body but right now with that tightly wound ribbon of pain through our love flooded link I wrapped my fingers around it and forced some of the burden and pain sensation into my spark and then it flowed into my body as my own. But the pain blockers that had been given to me now to long ago kicked in and also numbed most of the pain I took from him. Seeing how it didn't harm me he let me do this and even my mother who hadn't known that this was possible took some into her self also and under me my father's body finally relaxed somewhat. The hand around me tightened slightly then relaxed also. I don't remember much after that. I do know that that sneaky medic pushed something into the energon I was receiving to make me sleep though.

XXX

The next day I awoke from recharge much like any day feeling like not only my old self but like I had a spring in my step. My parents let me play with Mikaela and Sam for the morning knowing I had to much energy to be cooped up. In the front room Sam was counting in bumblebee with his windows tented to black since he was cheating. I ran a few steps one way and Mika slipped in between the wall and the large fridge. I was making my way down the hall trying to find a good spot to hide when I crawled passed the door that lead to the meeting room. My father's voice was booming through the room.

"You will have any and all information on our technology and on earth and the MOON here by tomorrow or our treaty is null in void. We were promised transparency and that all sector seven and any other agency information on us was given to us to examine and do with what we felt necessary. However the truth is being withheld from us and you government representatives have 24 hours to rectify it," he finished with a pound of his fist on the desk. I heard it and couldn't unhear and that heavy feeling of guilt came back full force almost knocking the wind from me. He was doing this for me I knew it. The space bridge could get us back to Cybertron and get the element I needed to save me a life long need to be infused from family members. It wasn't because he didn't want to continue to help me but he knew my life would be better if we could get real stuff. I heard a loud vent and my father's wrath melted away. I was sitting to the right of the door when it opened and our optics met.

"You heard," he said as a comment not a question. I nodded anyway. "It is about you but so much more. It is time for truth before _something_ happens that I cannot stop," he knelt and ran a finger around my helm and then under my chin stroking my cheek. "Don't take this on your shoulders," he pleaded. I took a deep intake.

"I'll try dad." And with that he stood up and went back to the meeting. I was comforted and I turned around to go in a near by room to hide as I heard Sam call out he was coming. It took him 20 minutes but he finally found me and I wasn't quick enough to get to Bee so I was it. The game lasted another hour and devolved into a "no you're it" fight, that turned into laughter. IT was then I realized I'd really like to go outside and get some different scenery. Sam and Mika both went up into the upper part of the house to fix lunch and I followed them there and watched some cartoons as they ate. Looking out the window half way through lunch and seeing it was pretty outside I got up and walked to the door. I opened it and stepped out in time to see a yellow and red Lambo come screaming around the corner. They reached me as I took a second step toward them and a red door knocked me so hard I flew backward through the open door and into the house skidding to a stop against the couch.

Scared and hurt both inside and out I began crying and wailing. The twins' holoforms came running in and were picking me up even before Mika and Sam could get to me. Side's had me in his arms rocking me and whispering "sorry" in my audio over and over again. Sunny's holo was feeling all my limbs and the back of my helm for any damage.

"I'm so sorry Steele. But if you'd stayed out there another second the Decepticons could have homed in on your spark signature…" He continued rocking me.

"Are you hurt?" Sunny asked. I didn't feel like I'd dented anything. It mostly just rattled me. I shook my head. He reached out his arms for me and I went to him next. He rocked me too and Sideswipe started to run a hand over my helm over and over. I think it scared him as much as it startled me.

"Do you forgive me, angel?" I nodded to the red Lambo twin and he let out a breath.

"We felt you heading for the outside and came to stop you so the Decepticons wouldn't come and attack baby doll." I nodded again and snuggled into them.

"S'okay. But I canna go outside anymore?" I pouted. I didn't want to be kept cooped up forever.

"Just for a little while longer. Ratchet is working on a spark signal dampener for you since you didn't have one to begin with."

"I come back downstairs then?" I looked over at the two teens they'd over heard everything.

"Go on Steel. After we're done we'll come back and play more okay?" Sam smiled.

"OK" I answered back as the two holoforms fizzled into sparkles and the two Lambos headed toward the garage.

The afternoon went by slowly and the thought of being trapped in the place stuck with me. I hope Ratchet can throw one together fast or this was going to get bad quick…


	36. Pissed

Thank you to my reviewers you make me want to right more! I like suggestions to that helps me advance the plot.

XXX

The large halls and spacious rooms were looking more and more like small cages when thinking about the fact I couldn't step a foot outside the spark shielding buildings. I didn't want to be with the Decepticons that's for sure and I didn't want to bring the enemy right to our home away from the island. However, I was only a toddler practically a newborn by Cybertronian standards. And as an Autobot toddler with a previous human adult personality coupled with the baby bot programming we were both clambering for freedom.

It had only been a few hours though since I was told that so I shoved the over exaggerated thoughts in the back of my processor and decided to find another way to occupy myself. I had to much energy to give into the pouting I could feel on the edges of my awareness. I crawled back to our shared berth room beyond the meeting rooms and the living room. I knew my toys were in there that I'd brought especially the ponies and maybe sometime with them would give me some comfort. I'd only brought 100 since dad cut me off there and all my favorite ones were here with me. So I threw myself into the childhood comforting play land of ponies and rainbows.

Come to find out I had thrown myself so hard into my play I'd played almost right up till bed time. My Father came to get for energon and found me engrossed in my play. I finally looked up at him and smiled. He looked no worse for wear from the infusion of my energon and the siphoned amount of his Energon. It made me glad that there were no lasting effects of the transfusion. Sunny had already lined up the next one with Ratchet. The yellow twin's insistence was spark touching since he was always known as the vain shallow brute. If someone people just looked a little deeper. It's all an act and I'd know cuz his spark's hooked to mine.

Since my Father had pulled me from my play world I put my arms up to him ready for my dinner since it was finally registering that my tank was running on low. I leaned back like custom dictated in our feeding ritual and drank my fill of energon. My parents were already filled and topped off for the night so after I was comfortable they arranged them selves on the family berth and we all powered down into recharge easily, our bonds open basking in the warmth of each other.

XXX

It was my normal time to wake up about 8:30 in my Father's sparkling hold. The world outside had begun hours ago for my dad but I rested comfortably in his chest next to his spark debating on whether I could use another half an hour of recharge or not. I was not groggy at all I never was upon waking just calm. I got a prod in my spark from my father and his customary morning greeting. I stretched and nodded with a yawn. _**Ya,**_ I answered his question of my readiness to greet the morning. He wasn't going to be able to give me energon right at that minute so I queried on what he was doing. He was about to begin a meeting with the Director of Intelligence a new lady that appeared like she would be a pain in the ass. The name came to me after years of not having watched the movies, _**Merring?**_ I asked in our bond. His answer was clipped and short as he only opened his bond enough to tell me then clamped down on it. He let his love flow through the bond but it was muted and strained. _**Daddy? **_I questioned softly rubbing the inside of my warm cocoon.

_**My daughter, my spark is awash with an anger that I do not want you to witness or be a party to. It is not for you my sweetspark. It is for the betrayal that we now face with the United States government. **_

_**Are you in truck form? **_I asked changing the subject. The sudden change bewildered my father momentarily but then he pushed the befuddled feeling away and answered me with a slightly confused "yes". I started to laugh and I laughed hard. I knew we were waiting for that by the book bitch from the movie and she would be coming to face my very mad father. But the fact I he was sitting her in truck form fuming on my behalf and his own shielding me from his wrath because he was so livid was just so damn funny. He was about to have it out with her and I got a front row seat. He couldn't make sense of my laughter and harrumphed through the bond miffed at me slightly for laughing at his anger. I really wasn't but he didn't know that yet.

Through my father's armor I could hear footsteps of several people coming toward the Prime. He didn't move one plate one millimeter as she and her entourage approached. "Where I'm glad you're here!" I heard my red twin say, "I hope you got answers for him cuz I've never seen him so upset." During the walk over toward Optimus I could hear Lennox also trying to sooth the she beast as she barked orders at him. He called her ma'am and she almost went wackado.

"Optimus you remember Charlotte Merring the Director of National Intelligence?" Lennox's voice was worried but not too much because she did have it coming.

"He's in a bad mood," I felt and heard my yellow twin close to us. "He's not talking to anybody today." His ped's steps retreated toward the back of the hanger along with his red twin.

"What is this? The silent treatment?" Merring looked around at the gathered Autobots including my mother. I knew they were all frustrated with her because she was the new liaison and she was their only attachment to the government.

Ironhide finally said after a pause, "No, we've seen that and this is not it. This is worse." His peds falls came closer and then I heard a head ringing pound on my dad's roof as he yelled at him, "Prime! Make something of yourself." I managed to hear his quieter, "He's pissed," even as my father changed. But the transformation my father started, exploded with sound and movement almost as he let himself fly apart violently making a rather large point and making me rather dizzy. I could hear steam escaping between the plates of armor and I felt him pull himself upward with a jerk even as his legs were probably still forming and then he threw himself forward toward the ground and the momentum was stopped by his fists hitting the ground with a large booming sound.

The sheer brutality of the transformation and the forced lurching about he did in his anger I didn't feel even a tiny bit slip to me but his action had scared me. The moment he settled on his closed fists he felt my sudden spike in fear and opened his spark to me to allow me to see his anger on my behalf and not at me. He allowed me to feel his worry for my and my evolving condition as well as the worry and anger over the secrets that had been kept and how that could be trouble for all our family.

Withdrawing myself from the equation and looking at all the far reaching consequences of this power play by my used to be government kinda pissed me off too. I know it would have been different if they had told them long ago about the moon landing and the Ark that was up there but I'd never given it a long hard look. I felt bad slightly for laughing at him and his temper tantrum as I'd labeled it in my head having seen the movie but the anger from fear for his pod and me and the war made me regret thinking of it that way. I didn't dwell on it though. I was a child in programming and in years to the bots and finding things funny because of short-sidedness is a common occurrence. Learn and move on.

"You lied to us! Everything humans know of our planet we were told had all been shared. So why was there no briefing on the moon landings?"

"We were in the dark about this also. It was director only clearance at sector seven." With the name of that place I hissed even to myself. I heard a smattering of chatter also around the room. "Until now!" I heard her then bark sharply at whatever poor soul had accompanied her as her secretary/attendant/punching bag. "This is a secret few men knew," she told my dad rummaging through something. Then I heard the sound stop. "And few still remain alive."

My father at this point was about to quip something smart about how he could help with that but I sent him an urgent nudge to not say that and on top of it calm down. I pushed at him my peace he gave me every day and he decided on the spot to quickly roll me out into his palm. Suddenly I could see why. The witch was preoccupied with the people entering the room. She was still talking, "Allow me to please introduce to you, two of NASA's founding mission directors and astronaut Dr. Buzz Aldren, one of the first two men to step foot on the moon." I saw her walk over and shake his hand and two things were immediately apparent. I was going to meet Buzz freaking Aldren and I was hungery. "Sir," She addressed Buzz. Then looked up at my dad, "Optimus Prime," she introduced.

Buzz looked up at my dad for a moment as I was sort of hidden in the fold of one arm. He had me in the hook of his "From one space traveler to another it's a true honor!" He said in awe but holding his head up high finding unique common and equal ground with the Prime. My dad crouched down on to a knee putting his left hand to the ground to greet the man.

"The honor is mine," he told the man regally but genuinely. I saw from the corner of my optic that Merring was using the moment to get up on the scaffolding that made Lennox eye level with dad. She put something in the tape player/DVD player and it was showing on a small screen. I could actually zoom in my optics to see it. A new little trick Ratchet let me in on. She started talking again suddenly much to my displeasure. I grumbled a little. My father who had calmed down a lot sent me a chuckling nudge down the bond. I grumpily nudged him back. He knew I was going to need Energon soon. He asked me to hold out a few more minutes. It didn't seem like a big deal at the time so I nodded.

"So our entire space race of the 1960's, it appears, was in response to an event."

"Our astronauts investigated a crashed alien ship," one of the directors said. He was balding, kind blond and fat with glasses. "There were no survivors on board."

"We were sworn to secrecy by our commander and chief," Buzz added.

The same director kept telling us the story, "A total of 35 knew the real plan at NASA. We landed six missions in all, we took hundreds of photos, and samples, and we locked them away forever. And then the moon program was shut down."

"We will have all the information gleaned from these missions and all the evidence that was brought back with it," My father demanded calmly.

"We don't know where these are any more," the other Director told us.

Ironhide wasn't buying it, "Did you check the crash vault?" he asked in a surly tone I could tell the trust he had for them when they came in was quickly thinning. This was gonna go bad really quick.

The men looked at each other in quiet 'he did it' fashion but before anyone could say anything else my baby bot programming asserted itself with the first prangs of an empty tank. Nothing bothered children especially young children more than being hungry and I was really mad at her at them and at everyone having had to wait for my Energon. This whole thing was important but as my tank bubbled slightly I started to squirm and all the necessity and vital need for this meeting went to hell because I screamed my discomfort out loud probably piercing a few eardrums.

I heard a few of the bots scramble about and only the new humans to the base basically hit the deck as I continued to howl. At that point I didn't care. I had wanted to meet Buzz but he couldn't hold a candle to the need for Energon RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW! And so I cried. Ratchet had had a sensor on me and had excused himself momentarily a while back but he hadn't wanted to interrupt the proceedings especially with Optimus's temper. The medic bounded up toward the Prime handing off my sippy cup to him. I saw it and I reached for it instantly and got it poked in my mouth quickly. I assumed it was to stop the noise but hey I got what my body was begging for. I shook my head a little and my intakes were still hitching but I was quiet. Silly daddies they get so caught up in solving one thing they forget the little stuff like uh eating? Duh! I sighed in contentment around my cup just to realize that the whole large room was silent.

"What in the seven levels of hell is that thing?" Merring yelled tugging on her ear to clear it. I saw my twins making a quick movement towards the front of the Autobot pack and they were both close lined by Ironhide. He wasn't much happier with her but he knew when to hold his temper. My father looked Primus ward and let out a large vent. He bent to both knees and brought his body forward far enough for the men on the ground to see as well as the Director on the catwalk. "My God…" I looked up at her with big blue optics and removed my cup and stuck my tongue out at her. Merring who was really a by the book pain in our ass most of the time from now on she did something we didn't think she was capable of. She laughed.

I stuck my cup back in my mouth and gave her an odd look. "Steel I think you broke the Director," he said in all seriousness. This made her laugh even harder.

"I don't break that easy," she countered. "And that little one has spunk." She looked over the railing at me. "My God Prime a baby? How in the… never mind don't wanna know…" She just shook her head and headed down the stairs off the catwalk. She had nothing else to say since I'd made my presence known. However the astronaut did come closer.

"I have grandkids and great grandkids, Mr. Prime. I could tell a hungry cry anywhere." He looked at my dad and then smiled at me. "You were there all the time huh? You're dad is so big he hid you." He laughed lightly and reached up to pet my head with out thinking. He pat me a few times and turned to the Directors. "Who would have thought so long ago that we'd see them alive and with KIDS of all things? Boggles the mind, Sirs," he said as he walked around them. The two directors had already proven they were basically stupid and didn't say anything and walked out with the astronaut.

The people that had come to answer to my father's cry for transparency got a little bit of their own when they'd heard me cry for the first time. Seeing me seemed to make them all wander off at their own pace to contemplate whatever alien babies brought to mind I guessed.

Returned to a fairly good mood my dad smiled down at me and began to rock me as he got up. Ratchet gave him a look, "If you ever put off her Energon that long again I will personally see to it that I not she interrupt the meeting and you can explain to the gathered why I am stomping away with a squalling sparkling!" Optimus cringed not from Ratchets words but from a strong nudge from his sparkmate emphasizing what the medic said. "That is if you mate doesn't get to you first…" My dad nodded as he continued to feed me and I was content to let him get his come-up-ins making me wait that long.


End file.
